Posessed-by-a-unicorn - My Respective Thoughts (and Other Shit)

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.

canon gay rep: i like a boy b-but ... i'm a boy!! eek!

queerbaiting: du weißt ich würde für dich bis ans ende der welt gehen. / ich hab dich vermisst. / ich kann aber besser schlafen, wenn ich weiß, dass dir nichts passiert. / aber wenn's schief läuft, dann bist du da. / wenn man etwas liebt, dann kommt man zurück. / wir brauchen dich hier. / ich bin da. ich war immer da. / wir. / wenn irgendeiner auch nur laut hustet, dann komm ich da rein. verstanden? / das hier ist aber nicht normalerweise.

Thirteen in ‘The Witchfinders’

I know because we’re all the same. We want certainty, security, to believe that people are evil or heroic. But that’s not how people are. You want to know the secrets of existence? Start with the mysteries of the heart. I can show you everything if you stop being afraid of what you don’t understand.

marauders au where everything is the same except THEY ARE ALL WOMEN!!!

also notes app pencil >> any procreate brush

in case the writing is too small:

S: “you are one of the rudest, most vulgar girls i’ve ever met”

R: “y’know how i feel about flattering, love”

S: “let’s snog”

R: “ha. ha. very funny”

—————————————————

S: “‘morning gals~” “oof-“

R: “try waking up looking like shite like a normal human being, princess”

P: “agreed.”

J: “good morning ladies! how are my favourite girls doing?”

R: “your favourite girl is probably cursing you at the slytehrin table. her sister, however, is being a pain in the ass-“

S: “I JUST WOKE UP! and what do you mean she’s her favourite??”

THE GIRL IN QUESTION:

R: “fuck potter and her stupid fucking glasses and her shitty piercing and fuck her stupid smile and messy hair-“

—————————————————

R: “what are you doing?”

J: “stargazing”

R: “that’s cheesy, even for you”

J: “anything to make you blush”

R: “…idiot”

—————————————————

ARGUING

S: “you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid!”

R: “…”

they both wanted to kiss, actually. and they’re both stupid, too.

One of the ballsiest things Tolkien ever did was write 473k words about some hobbits called frodo, sam, merry, and pippin and then write in the appendices that their names are actually maura, ban, kali, and razal. 

At this point I think some fantasy author should just bite the bullet and write a novel where a teenager protagonist lives as a secret magic-user in our world and tries to master their skills in a magic school, but it is explicitly not an English or American protagonist, and the more they start to understand the world they live in, they more they realise that globally magic practicioners are being heavily scrutinisied and supressed by an anglo-american hegemony, which was established during England’s imperial years and has survived to this day as the “global magical hegemony” where England has an unfair advantage over all others because they stole almost all powerful magical artefacts and now refuse to give them back.

And as the protagonist gets more involved in the ways magic outside of anglo-saxon cultural sphere is being supressed, the more the reader will realise that we are referencing Harry Potter here. People will talk about “That English school” where most hegemony enforcers are alumni from. People will share urban legends that they still allow segrecation and slavery in England, and no one will believe them “because come one, we live in the 21st century” but that one character who worked with the English keeps unnervingly quiet. And there are references to a dangerous high-level enforcer with green eyes who is also a war veteran, who isn’t an evil guy, but from the point of view of the story is very much an antagonist.

And the world is built in such a way that it slots seamlessly into Rowling’s canon, but at the same time not a single Harry Potter related thing is actually named. And obviously there should be a lot of friction regarding the fact that a lot of magic traditions around the world are built around the assumption that Gender-noncomformity and crossdressing and gender-identities outside from the “mundane” two sex system are signs of magical identity, expect for the Anglo-saxon hegemony which very agressively will stamp down on those traditions.

And now that I’m stream-of-consciousness writing all this down, I realise that the story should obviously climax with a heist, where a group misfits try to break into the hidden magical floor of the British Museum and steal back some artefacts.

And the story should be an anthology between several different writers from different countries, all disillusioned HP fans.

Queen <3

Found the best edit I’ve ever seen ohmygod

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