Out Of All The Seemings In Changeling The Lost, I Think The Wizened Have To Be The Funniest.

Out of all the Seemings in Changeling the Lost, I think the Wizened have to be the funniest.

Like. Imagine you get kidnapped by fairies and forced to do the most menial, boring shit. You are spirited away to Fairy Land and the nobles force you to do stuff like unclog toilets and work customer service for one billion years. And contrary to everything you'd expect from a fantasy world it is boring as sin. A Sidhe noble getting snippy at you because you used the wrong kind of sparkleberries in their parfait was the most noteworthy thing to happen to you in the the past century.

And of course the tedium of it all just shrivels you up like a prune. By the time you finally escape, you're this ancient, wrinkly, little yoda-ass gremlin. Just the crustiest, dustiest barnacle on the face of the earth.

Eventually you manage to find other survivors. Other former humans who had their lives ruined by the Arcadian Slavemasters. Except they're all became beautiful elves and badass elemental golems and sexy animal-men. You find out that even among some of the unluckiest bastards to ever live you are especially unfortunate.

Everyone else was stuck doing things like exploring ever-shifting labyrinths, or fighting dragons, or serving as courtesans in the cut-throat courts of fairy kings. And while that kind of stuff is also awful at least it was whimsical and glamourous in a demented sort of way. At least it didn't suck all the vitality and color from their bodies. At least they all got to become something cool instead of some unremarkable Dobby knock-off. At least their torment was interesting instead of mind-numbingly boring.

Congrats. You survived Wonderland and are now a fairy tale character.

Your reward is Being Old.

I would be so fucking pissed.

More Posts from Post-maester and Others

post-maester

2 years ago

I'm posting a group project I did for film school. Idk man

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Youtube film dungeons and dragons movies agents of shield cinema short film spies i stayed up way too late been up an entire 24 hours this thing took 13 hours of editing i have to wake up in 3 and a half hours to play dungeons and dragons i edited this at ur moms house

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post-maester

2 years ago

Cerebrilith Large fiend (demon), chaotic evil Armor Class 15 (natural armor) Hit Points 149 (13d10 + 78) Speed 30 ft. Str 21, Dex 13, Con 23, Int 15, Wis 18, Cha 21 Saving Throws Int +6, Wis +8 Damage Immunities lightning, poison Damage Resistances acid, cold, fire, psychic; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks Senses darkvision 60 ft. passive Perception 14 Languages Abyssal, telepathy 120 ft. Challenge 10 (5900 XP) Magic Resistance. The cerebrilith has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects. Innate Spellcasting. The cerebrilith’s spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 17). The cerebrilith can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components: At will: detect thoughts, confusion, dissonant whispers 3/day each: darkness, dominate person, gaseous form

Actions Multiattack. The cerebrilith uses Mind Lash if it is able to. It then makes three attacks: one with its bite, and two with its claws. Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 12 (2d6+5) piercing damage. Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 9 (1d8+5) slashing damage. Teleport. The cerebrilith magically teleports, along with any equipment it is wearing or carrying, up to 120 feet to an unoccupied space it can see. Mind Lash (Recharge 4-6). Up to three creatures the cerebrilith can see that are within 60 feet of it each must succeed on a DC 17 Intelligence saving throw or take 17 (5d6) psychic damage. A creature that fails its save by 5 or more is also stunned until the end of its next turn.

Cerebriliths are psionic demons who seek to kill, and then consume the brains of, moral creatures. They also use their powers of mental domination to control communities of mortals to serve them, or simply to manipulate them according to the whims of their Abyssal masters. When not serving other demons, they are found in groups of up to four. They stand around 8 feet tall.

Originally from the Expanded Psionics Handbook

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post-maester

6 months ago