stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day
Bastille was right. How am I gonna be an optimist about this. Also right about eh eho eho.
This is the funnest expression ever pulled in all of starwars history
my body may be a temple but i am the god to whom it is devoted
do not presume to tell me how i may decorate my altar
im trying to go to sleep but i cannotttttt stop thinking about this and laughing
No offense but where are the male porn bots
we've done it again folks
HOLYPOTATO IT'S HERE *reblog faster than flah mcqueen*
“ummmmm ur bra strap is showing :/ ”
People I met for a few moments that live in my head forever.
“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you