Ty!!

Piazza Santa Croce

babygirl, i’ve got compulsions for things you don’t even think twice about

Love yourself.

soft angel stim board

ならぶんです。 太鼓の達人 (bandai)

Need a boost?

100% certain this will brighten your day 🥺

So often we hear about how mental illness/neurodivergency makes people interesting, but here’s a shoutout to the people whose mental illness makes them boring.

Systems who dress at a middle ground of everyone’s style because dressing differently depending on who’s fronting may arouse suspicion. Systems who talk, write, and text the same regardless of who’s fronting for the same reason. System members who can’t do the things they want to do because their system only has the time and resources for so many hobbies.

People with OCD who spend so much time doing compulsions that they don’t have time for the things they want to do. People whose compulsions are mental so no one knows that they’re struggling. People who can’t do certain things because they would trigger them to the point that they couldn’t function.

People with OCPD who are told that they’re too ridged or not spontaneous enough. People whose entire personality, including hobbies and the things they like, are part of their disorder.

Autistic people who dress to avoid sensory bads. People who only eat a few foods. People who can’t go out and socialize.

Really just anyone with so much going on inside their head that they don’t have time for anything else. People who aren’t even capable of being on tumblr or any social media.

Neurodivergency isn’t always something that fits an aesthetic or makes people interesting. Some of us are just focused on surviving. Our symptoms aren’t something to be consumed by others. They’re personal. In the age of the internet it can seem like everyone is always performing, but I promise it is okay to just look after your mental health.

If anyone wants to add on with more mental illnesses/neurodivergencies please do!

"Kill them with kindness-" WRONG!!! SPINJITZU 🌪🌪🌪🌪🌪💥💥💥💥

i sometimes forget that this is everyone’s first time on earth too. like. this is my first time seeing a butterfly this color. but its that little girl’s first time seeing any butterfly, ever. and i accidentally left a bag of groceries at the store after paying and now i’m cursing under my breath and it’s like. there a thousand other people out there who did that today too. and a thousand more from yesterday. and. like. we’re not actually alone. and we’re not actually failing. at least not in a way that a few billion people haven’t before you

TW!!!!!

OCD! AUTISM! DEPRESSION! ANXIETY! TRAUMA! SA!!!!! all in very specific feeling terms which are important to differentiate between triggers like numbers and calories this is a very specifically ocd rant poem!!!!!!!! morality ocd is big and scary!

today i drape over the school bathroom toilet

i am scared that my poetry no longer feels

like i am simply expelling the sickest

most

tangential /

still most poems

fear is in the way

i'll get there

literal /

(how to breathe| how to think |

happy code |code to feel better

||bad behavior|

| good behavior. |

how to be sick cat |..|

how to be | ... |

| healthy cat? |

how to speak in the tone

of someone who is fine |

|.... .... ..||||..|.|~|

how to become fine.

spiritual /

(why me why me why me)

what is real?

acidic ( self explanatory ) /

shame.

I am wrong

i am wrong i am broken

nothing nothing nothing at all

emptiness is better than death

i search for it .

in me.

i cannot find it anymore

in that porcelain

cup of shadows

i can only find

her

🥧. 🐈‍⬛🐛🪳🕷️🕷️🕷️🪲🕺🏻

not her, or her, or her or her

(though,

yes,

her

her

her

her

her

him.

him.

him. but not.)

...

its me .

i

am

finding

..

.... ..

!!

⭐️CAT!!!🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛✨✨🥧

WHY

am i

still

so fucking

wrong

my secretion isn't on the sides of the bowl because pieces are in her. she still keeps it.

i hope she does. i do.

and him. he will never rid himself of the guilt. i hope he learns to ..

to just ..

to .

..... ... ...........

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Fuck you for what you did to me.

fuck you for being fine.

fuck you for being proud

of a goddamn lesbian

sucking your cock and fuck you

for talking about it

fuck you for breaking me to the point where i had to become something else

fuck you for reminding me that what i feel is not normal

fuck you

...... ...

............ .. .... ....

for being the filthy hierophant

i see in every man

who has touched me

why is it you that stays? who gave you such a power?

but

isn't that the point? that i can be

broken?

from him?

i was her

until the day i wasn't —

when i was her

and then

her

and her.... ( there are no

colors in this time

except the ones that return

to me.

when i am..... )

🪄🪄🧠🤓🐈‍⬛🏛️🎨🎭🖼️🏴‍☠️👩🏻‍🎤🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️❤️✨⭐️🌠🌃🌌🔭🔭🔭🔭🔭

me !!!!!!!!!!!

💕💖💗💞💓💐🌸🌺💓💘💝💝💐💘🌸💐🎀🌷💝🎀🌷🌷🐷💝🧞‍♀️🎀🎀🦩🩰👚🎟️

from the deep pit

of my stomach

there is me.

why do the painful things make her louder?

why

the

fuck.

has it been nine goddamn years of this?

nine?

3 6 9 three six nine i know what the numbers are

i know why they are there

grandma

(mother of grandma) teaches me of

grandma

(mother of grandma)

i can hear you

i can

i am sorry for abandoning you

to live in a shell of

a soul

when i couldnt see it you

knight of wands told me how to

keep going

you tell me that it is okay to live for more than my body

even if the thoughts never leave?

even if the thoughts never leave.

even if i

stay the same? you will still be lovable

it hurts to turn back into

a newly traumatized

confused cat self

she is yellow she is happy go lucky

she has a light she yearns

will not go out

when she gets

"better"

my thoughts about her don't feel that way

you

learned to live in an angry mind

in the same spot theres something else

block has vanished

all too fast

is this what hope feels like?

i am wise )

i am learning learning learning

when the fog is there and when it isn't

because i want to

i will learn

how to love

how to feel

how to understand and listen and observe the way i always have

you are right

it is better to speak than it is to die

( you speak to me through wisdom of the greats

never will i let go of

my intellect!

TRUE

intellect)

it is better to exist than it is not to cry

( you shout this

from the kind of pedestal

i have grown so weary of in others /

in myself)

there is intelligence in creating

is the birth of passion from knowledge?

connection ?

am i doing this

that terribly wrong?

but isnt the love

something?

Où étais-je ?