i like the idea that bruce just shows up to league meetings with his birds with absolutely no explanation offered
i mean this man frequently stalks his coworkers and knows everything that's happening in their personal lives and i think he'd forget that HE is the weird one for doing it and not everybody automatically knows when he's acquired a new child
so he just shows up at the watchtower with a new bird and literally says nothing about it . just sits at his chair with the latest robin standing next to him and literally doesn't acknowledge that anything is different and it gets even more confusing when they change their costumes and names ๐ญ
like
20-something bruce: and containing this may be a matter of-flash did you have a question
barry: uh. yeah. sorry, what is that?
20-something bruce: (glancing at 9 yr old dick who has been next to him for 45 minutes) that's robin. obviously. as i was saying,
-
early 30s bruce, who hasn't shown up with a robin for a few years, entering with a nightwing and a jason todd robin:
barry:
diana:
hal:
j'onn:
bruce: what.
hal:
hal: do you like clone them or
-
mid 30s bruce, quietly talking with a clearly-not-sixteen-years-old robin in the corner after being without one for two years:
hal:
diana:
barry:
j'onn:
clark:
bruce:
tim:
bruce: this one followed me
-
late 30s bruce zeta-beaming in with a nightwing, a slightly older robin, and an absolutely BUILT man in a red hood:
barry: did you hire a bodyguard
bruce: no.
barry: whos mr red over there
bruce: you don't remember my second one???
barry:
hal:
diana:
j'onn:
clark:
barry: did. did that one not die
jason: got better
-
later 30s bruce, quietly showing around a blonde robin:
hal:
bruce: don't ask.
hal: i didn't say anything
-
40 yr old bruce, making intense, unbroken eye contact with a black shadow:
clark, leaning over to talk to tim: what are they doing
tim, not looking up from his fancy ipad: do i look like i know that
-
red robin popping in unnanounced in the middle of a league meeting: batman is alive.
barry: who the FUCK are you???
-
batman, some minutes later, trailed by what is CLEARLY a new robin: did red robin happen to pass through here????
barry: i have several questions
-
no-longer-lost-in-the-time-stream bruce, talking to batgirl, black bat, and the signal:
hal: did you get three more.
bruce: no. just one.
hal: i shouldn't have asked, my bad
-
mid 40s bruce wayne, stepping out of the zeta tube: sorry i'm late
diana: not to worry. let's get start-
bruce: i have a few more coming behind me
zeta tube: ๐๐๐
jason: hi
cass: ๐
diana:
diana: ok should we st-
zeta tube: ๐๐๐
dick, holding damian like a scowling, sopping wet cat: bruce he's not feeling polite today
damian: HISSS
bruce: okay does he need to go back?
dick: he said he's fine but hes just not feeling polite
diana:
diana: is that the las-
zeta tube: ๐๐๐
steph: b i need a hair tie
diana:
diana: so can-
zeta tube: ๐๐๐
duke: b did i miss rolecall
diana: no, signal, you did not. let's-
zeta tube: ๐๐๐
tim: b alf is mad at you
bruce: why
hal: it's like a fucking clown car
steph: you didn't eat breakfast
tim: you didn't eat breakfast either
steph: shut.
damian: HISSSS
jason: wing. if you do not keep that brat quiet-
dick: hes a BABY!!!!!
duke: you didn't eat breakfast either, timothy
jason: hes a BITCH!!!!!
tim: who the fuck told you????
cass: :)
hal: (storming off, in tears), YOU HAVE TOO MANY CHILDREN.
New Looney Tunes Crew done did it again
Red, White & Royal Blue (2023), dir. Matthew Lopez
More train than dragon but I fold, metro train from the DC area cause public transit is cool
you can definitely spell FUN without whatever is going on here
Phrases I bet were said on the batfamily patrols without context.
Tim in his comm: No. he's not dead- *casually checks Jason's pulse* yeah there's nothing to worry about.
--
Jason nudging a mugger with his feet: He'll live.
--
Dick: No one tells any of this to Batman
Batman, behind him: No one tells what to Batman
Dick:
--
Robin: You said Redhood should stop killing do I look like Redhood to you?
--
Jason: This * shows a pair off rubber bullets to the renchman * were not letal, now this * shows them a pair of real bullets* are.
*reloads*
Jason: Start running.
--
Dick at the comm: What do you mean next to the Batsburguer? I am literally-- Hood. Hood. Jason. sto- STOP SCREAMING AT ME- I am literally- SHUT UP! Jason- I swear to god, I will hang up on you... WE ARE LITERALLY IN FRONT OF THE BATSBURGUER,... What do you mean "what car" what do you think? We're... We're next to - sorry - Next to the old lady behind the drive thru... fuck sake You know what? Just send us your location- Just- Yeah...
Damian, looking at his phone with the location:..... Dumbass you're in the wrong Batsburguer.
--
The signal, making eye contact with the other batkids: I do not know them.
--
Damian Robin: What are you doing in here?
Tim in his civil clothes: Are you serious? This is literally my rooftop. I live in this house.
--
Literally everyone to Oracle: Do NOT call Batman
--
Oracle: I'm calling batman.
--
Batman, clearly lost, lying through his teeth while gripping the batmobile's steering wheel: This is my city, we do not need a map.
--
Jason: Oh my god, you two are such drama queens the kid just dislocated his arm. Hey. Hey Robin. Do that thing you did last time- He's going to be okay. Robin do that thing.
Dick: D-Robin do not-
Batman, at the same time: Robin do not
Damian currently running towards a wall to relocate his arm: *crack.* There. Let's go.
--
Steph: Technically he ran in front of my van so if we're being fair-
--
Robin squinting: ...Is that Harley Quinn in a Batman suit?
--
Harley: This is so unfair! Why he always send the interns to fight me!
Robin Damian, done with her shit: Maybe because you fight like a little boy
--
Spoiler: Yo mama
--
Nightwing: Let's do the flying Robin-
Robin Jason: What do you mean flying Robin? *Nightwing grabs him* WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. NIGHTWING- NIGHTWING YOU MOTHERF-
Nightwing: YEET
--
Redhood:
Nighwing: What?
Redhood: Let's do the flying Robin.
Nighwing: โฟแตโป
--
santa saw you reading all that gay porn
Fun fact!
I bet you can watch Red White and Royal Blue as if it was a Merthur fanfiction and you'd be none the wiser that it's actually not.
im gonna need you all to remember who the fuck daniel ricciardo is