I Always Mean It When I Say I Love You Btw

!!!!!!!his name is Gourdon!!

the women of america were once promised that butch dykes would be lurking in all corners of society, ready to corrupt our minds and turn us all gay. what ever happened to that. where are the butches uncle sam.

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

I was a godless heathen given neither rack nor humor

I gave myself both with the power of drugs

god gave me great tits to distract everyone from all the stupid shit that comes out of my mouth

the worst is wanting to create and create and create but being trapped in a body that is so so so so tired

glados when atlas and pbody are sixteen disassemblies into a test chamber

"You're losing blood" no I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.

You'd be crying either way.

got turned down for the job at the onion. turns out they write satire or something and don't need a guy to peel all the onions. crying my eyes out.

If you made me think about markiplier's pillowey man-bosoms again, I'm making everyone else think about them too.

trans women r literally so cool theu get tits AND a prostate?? i thought only markilpler could do that