156 posts
Latest Posts by purplewolfluna - Page 5
Sometimes I worry I identify as asexual because I'm just afraid of connecting with someone or being vulnerable with them. That it's just an extension of my anxieties about other people. I don't know how to tell the difference. I don't really want to be alone, but I'm also very scared of putting myself out there. Is it that I'm not attracted to people or that I don't want to be? I find people aesthetically pleasing but don't want to act on it.
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Doodles of rika and, blobby
Aego culture is reading smutty fics and making sex jokes, but being revolted at the idea of doing the deed with another real life person.
As long as it’s not real sex it’s good
a messy vent comic
Nothing is more frustrating than wishing that you felt something that you will likely never feel in your life.
Wishing you were what society would consider 'normal', but regretting your silly wishes, because despite the pain it brings, you still love who you are.
I love being asexual and the comfort and confidence I've found in the label, but I also wish I could relate to people without feeling like there's a wall that separates us. Knowing that we'll never truly understand each other.
It’s like being at the mall and buying things vs just windowshopping. Maybe I just wanna look
I think for me the main difference between aesthetic and romantic and/or sexual attraction is whether you want to act on it or not. Like okay people are attractive but I don’t need it to go further than just looking. I get the impression that that’s not the case for allos
🥺 these were my team for super mystery dungeon, aaaaaaa the nostalgia
s…super mystery dungeon…
does anyone want to be best friends that also live together and go on adventures together but like mundane adventures like ikea and target and also wants to lay our heads on each others shoulders when sleepy but also have separate bedrooms but also enjoy spending most of our free time together……. just me? ok
aroace culture is relating all romantic/relationship songs to extremely platonic friendships
And the best part is when you put so much effort into doing these that you forget to actually be listening
Active listening is so funny. Yes, I am bobbing my head at you and doing "mmm-hmm, mm! Wow! Okay, yes." I'm doing a great job. My performance is immaculate. I deserve an Oscar.
Don't sabotage your identity trying to name it. Let it be undefined, permeable, mixed, peculiar, unapologetically authentic. Be in peace with being unprecedented, with not fitting anywhere, with being adrift. Before flight, there's a free fall.
i spend my days waiting. waiting for the water to boil and my tea to be ready. for spring to come back. for more daylight. the oil in the pan to heat up. a “hey i miss you” or “can you help me out for a second?” or “you want to hang out?” text. for my phone to finish charging. for good news. flowers on the table. the next hug. “hey, you got the job!”. waiting for the sun. to set. to rise. to see both. for summer to be around the corner. a good song. a falling star. a text back. i spend my time waiting to be remembered. i spend my time repeating that tomorrow will be better. tomorrow will be better. i spend my days waiting and waiting and waiting. i spend my days waiting unbearably.
– Virginia Woolf, from a Letter to Violet Dickinson written c. January 1909
[TEXT ID: "I appreciate your concern. None of this is your fault. It's me. It's me and my head. / In winter, I collapse." END ID]
I feel like we always see parents who are 100% super supportive allies, or parents who are horrible and cruel. At least in media or in the most popular stories. But I feel like that ignores just how many people have parents where you just have no idea? And even if you think they’ll accept you on a surface level, you don’t know if they have a breaking point. Especially if you need to go on hrt, or request they change the way they think about and refer to you. Sure they’re liberal and all, or centrists, or “tolerant”, but how far does that stretch?
I think most closeted LGBT+ kids live like this, wading around in the grey area. I’d like it of more of us knew that was normal, I’d like if we talked about it more.
Whatever I do, I do it stylishly.
zorua
kitten
Their smiles are everything :)
i love how delusional some articles of clothing are, like you read the tag and its like “hand wash only/tumble dry on low” son you are a cotton tshirt. youre going in the warsh and whatever happens in there is in gods hands
I find it so strange when allos are horrified at the concept of being alone forever. I don’t think anyone can be a healthy, fully-functioning adult if their happiness depends entirely on another person. Learning to enjoy time spent alone is one of the most important things you can do for your mental health because, whether or not you’re in a romantic relationship, you will spend a lot of time alone in your life. If you can’t be happy alone, it’s going to be very hard to be happy at all.
nooo!!! leave him alone !!!!
I was talking the other day about how Clodsire has a very Blåhaj energy to them and decided I had to follow through on that idea, and here we are!
I'm really happy with how it came out!
All made in Blender, so unfortunately not a real tangible plush (maybe in the future)
Let me know what you think!
I've decided that it is canon that Rika has (at least) one if these.
And, just because I can, some colour variants! (Shiny, Blåhaj, Quagsire and trans pride)
(The shelf, table, painting frame and chair assets are from Poly Haven's CC0 model collection (go check them out), everything else was made by me.)
One thing I haven't seen talked about much when it comes to chronic illnesses is how it ages you. By that, I mean making you feel older than you really are, as if you jumped decades all at once. I'm only in my twenties, and yet I often feel like I'm more than double my age, especially when I'm around others my age.
They all seem so, idk, full of life? I've gotten so used to being tired constantly, to getting sick at the smallest change of plans, and avoiding traveling and I guess sometimes I forget that other people just..... don't have to do those things. I wish I could be as adventurous as my friends. It hurts knowing that in some ways, I can never experience life as everyone around me does. It's like I skipped straight over my twenties and went right into my fifties. Some days I think maybe that isn't true, and that I might actually be able to keep up with healthy people my age. But then I try to go out with people, or plan going to an event, or even just hang out at someone else's place, and I'm reminded of how I'll never quite have the freedom of being young and healthy. The "prime of my life" is being living in the shoes of someone far older than what my birth year would imply.
There's just so much about my life that feels......out of place for someone my age. The random pain, the unexpected nausea, the piles of pill bottles, supplements, and injections. Going to the clinic so often that my mom and I are on a first-name basis with the nurses and the doctors. Remembering how to pronounce and spell the names of like 6 different prescriptions. Knowing what a colonoscopy is like, and having had three of them before even being old enough to drink. Having my first priority when job searching be for something with great health insurance. Worrying not about if I will get cancer, but when. Knowing that someday, any day really, I may not respond to medication anymore. That at some point, major surgery may be my only option. Spending several months thinking that I was dying at only 14. Needing to cancel or postpone plans often because I can't leave the bathroom. So, so much that just isn't that common for people my own age. I know that there are lots of others out there with experiences like mine, but I've rarely if ever come across them.
It's hard trying to spend time with anyone. I feel like I'm only going to drag people's mood down and ruin our plans, even if I'm the one that made them. I guess maybe I should try to acknowledge my limits more and accept that I might need to take it easy. But deep down, I want to live like a healthy twenty-something-year-old. I want to make those spontaneous plans, to go out and do something exhausting, to go somewhere in the middle of nowhere with no bathroom to be found and feel confident about it. To party, and fall in love, and take that internship opportunity, and do all the exciting stuff that college has to offer. But I know that I can't in the way that I want to, and that maybe I never will.
It hurts that I will likely never experience the so-called "best years of my life" in the way that I had hoped for before I was diagnosed.
Oh, are you finding my chronic illness incovenient?
Imagine how it feels for me.
