Latest Posts by quastari - Page 2
ᴘʟᴏᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴄᴀʟʟ
♡ this post if you want to plot with any of my muses.
not sure where to start ? check out my wishlist for an idea. i'm open to anything on there, as well as any ideas you or i might have.
most active muses - arthur morgan - joel miller
muses i'd like to develop - stanley pines - kaidan alenko - will riker
Susan Sontag, from a diary entry featured in Reborn: Journals & Notebooks, 1947 - 1963
she was NERVOUS to take the gun - he could see it. her hesitance reminded arthur of a winter's day a long time ago, when he was still a boy. dutch pushing a rusty cattleman into his hands & showing him how to hold it. how to aim. how to squeeze the trigger. the memory seemed so far off - like it belonged to someone else.
arthur attempts to MIMIC dutch from those years back. ❝ any fool can shoot a gun. the fact that you actually hit the bastard already puts you way ahead, so try not to worry. ❞
he reaches down to grasp her forearm, bringing it up straight & pressing the cool handle of his revolver into her palm. arthur does so slowly, as if hope were a wild mare he was trying to win the trust of. CAREFUL movements, showing no fear, eyes straight.
❝ don't point it at nobody you don't plan on killin'. keep your fingers tight 'round the handle. er ... little more than that. nah, it's just gonna go FLYIN' if you try to shoot like that. christ ... ❞
her hands were much smaller than his.
arthur circles around hope's back with a sigh, reaching for her other hand & bringing it up to the first. ❝ alright, let's try ... ❞ his voices falls off, his FOCUS on the positioning of hope's fingers.
his thumbs guide hers, one atop the other. fingers curling over hope's around the handle, making sure her left covered her right. & with his hands still covering hope's, shadowing her own grip on the revolver, he squeezes. making sure she knows to do the same.
❝ now that ain't goin' nowhere. ❞ to prove his words, one of arthur's hands detaches to grip the barrel. jerking it once & twice, it doesn't budge.
❝ i wouldn't exactly call us the 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚 sort , but i catch your meaning .❞
she follows his lead , allowing him to herd her toward the appropriate spot for target practice . watching & waiting patiently while he preps , hands remain clasped behind her back - almost as if she's still a little uncertain about the whole thing . regardless , he's right . with so much ground left to cover before reaching their destination , it is 𝑰𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑰𝑻𝑨𝑩𝑳𝑬 they will run into more trouble in some form . it would be nice to know a thing or two , in the case of something else going sideways . . . as it often tends to do when hope is around - & arthur's equally turbulent life just about triples that probability .
somehow , still , she's never felt 𝒔𝒂𝒇𝒆𝒓 than she does by his side .
❝ okay , ❞ she nods , eyes catching the way the firearm glints in the light of the steadily setting sun . clearly 𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑶𝑼𝑺 of the weapon & what it can do , she keeps being drawn back to it . as much as she tries to deny it , the events from earlier that day have certainly shaken her .
hope had never thought herself capable of shooting someone until the heat of the moment necessitated such an action . it is all still so 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒉 in her mind - the surprising weight of the gun , the kickback nearly causing her to lose her grip , watching the bullet impact her target , seeing the man go down . . . should she regret it more ?
hope keeps to herself that she feels as though it all should bother her more than it does . maybe that is just what happens when someone intends to kidnap & ransom you for all that they can extort from your husband-to-be . it's hard to feel all that 𝑺𝑶𝑹𝑹𝒀 , which disturbs her quite a bit . especially when arthur points out that what she had done was merely a half-measure .
swallowing hard , she tries to shake those worries off & focus on the 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 lesson . ❝ so , how am i supposed to hold it - 'cause i'm pretty sure i was doin' it all wrong . . . ❞
ᴘʟᴏᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴄᴀʟʟ
♡ this post if you want to plot with any of my muses.
not sure where to start ? check out my wishlist for an idea. i'm open to anything on there, as well as any ideas you or i might have.
most active muses - arthur morgan - joel miller
muses i'd like to develop - stanley pines - kaidan alenko - will riker
part of arthur didn't seem to want to breathe with hope so close. the smell of her clung to the inside of his throat like smoke - deceivingly sweet but still TOXIC in its own way. in the moment, however, it was impossible to describe it as it was.
hope baxter has always been a forbidden fruit he was too SINFUL to hold. perched on a branch just low enough to reach. its sweet smell had been tempting arthur closer since the beginning but he always managed to turn away. it only took the smallest breeze to knock her loose right into his hands & now he finds he's AFRAID to learn how she tastes.
his eyes dart away when hope brings a hand up to his cheek. her fingers are soft & gentle - so contrasted from the more VIOLENT touches he is used to. yet, it affects him all the same. flinching ever so slightly, expecting it to hurt but realizing he wants more.
the line of his mouth tightens at hope's reply. her refusal to continue certainly would've made things far EASIER for him. ❝ i ain't sure on a lot of things. ❞ arthur admits, eyes returning to hers.
carefully, as if afraid to hurt her, his hands come up to hold her arms. he almost pushes her away. he almost pulls her closer. arthur decides on keeping hope still until he can decide.
❝ ... but i do know that this ain't exactly smart. runnin' out on your wedding was one thing - hell, maybe it was the right thing. but i can't have you gettin' involved with an OUTLAW like me. ❞
𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔 & 𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒕 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏 ( selectively accepting ! )
@quastari said : ❝ are you sure ? we can stop if you want . ❞ ( from arthur )
lips remain parted as she tries to catch her breath , head still spinning in the aftermath of their lapse in judgement . she can still taste him on her tongue - tobacco smoke & something 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 she can't quite place ; she still feels the scratch of his beard too , no doubt leaving her pale skin even more flushed . she has spent the better part of the last month imagining what it would be like to kiss this man , & perhaps it's the sheer anticipation of it all , ( or maybe it's that there is some deeper , much more dangerous connection between the two of them . . . ) but it is everything she's been fantasizing about - maybe even more .
his words take time to cut through the heady rush of emotions she's experiencing , their meaning sinking in like 𝑴𝑶𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑬𝑺 in autumn . the blue sky of her gaze eventually refocuses on arthur , the sun peeking back out from behind the cloudy haze she'd gotten lost in , his rumbling drawl the swift wind pushing it away - bringing her back to reality .
hands rise from where they had taken purchase , clinging onto his shirt for dear life . hesitating only briefly , she moves to gingerly cup his face . just for a moment , she allows herself another indulgence to satiate her pining , a thumb brushing across a stubbled cheek . her gaze brims with all of the affection she's been denying - 𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 even further in response to what he's said . even now , he's still trying to protect her . it's nearly enough for her to compulsively close the minuscule gap between them once again . somehow , she resists the urge .
❝ believe me , the last thing i wanna do right now is stop , ❞ she admits , a bit taken aback by how 𝑵𝑬𝑬𝑫𝒀 she sounds , speaking hardly above a whisper . ❝ i . . . ❞
. . . don't think i've ever needed someone quite like i need 𝒚𝒐𝒖 .
it takes her a moment to reconfigure her thoughts away from finally being honest with herself & to him , the 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑺𝑰𝑻𝒀 of what she wants to say sending her heart into a panicked frenzy . she stalls , tongue darting out subconsciously to wet her lips , clearly still precariously wavering between lust & logic . ❝ are . . . are you sure ? ❞ turning it back on him , classic deflection hope baxter . well done .
WISHLIST
below are plots & dynamics i'd like to explore with my muses. if you're interested in any of them, please DM me on tumblr or discord.
all plots are not set in stone - they can be tweaked & changed to suit your muse or the setting. these are simply jumping off points.
JONATHAN ARCHER :
plots - your muse is captain of their own ship (starfleet or otherwise) . it's damaged and the enterprise rescues them.
dynamics - your muse and jon are old friends from starfleet academy before their lives took them in separate directions. whatever that may mean. - your muse and jon are old rivals from starfleet academy. there is still tension, especially after jon was given command of the enterprise. ♡ tentative love. your muse is under jon's command, yet they grow feelings for each other.
BARRETT TORBON :
plots - even though barrett is trying to lay low, he ends up saving your muse in his bear form. - your muse is a hunter ( monster or regular ) & crosses paths with barrett.
dynamics - a younger / recently-changed shifter / werewolf is taken under barrett's wing. ♡ despite always keeping others at a distance, barrett finds himself falling in love with your muse & doesn't know how to go about it.
ARTHUR MORGAN :
plots - your muse is a bounty hunter / rival gang member & crosses paths with arthur. - your muse is an outlaw who ends up working with arthur to run from the law.
dynamics - your muse joins the gang - arthur doesn't really trust them yet. ♡ arthur & your muse have grown quite close. it's enough for arthur to start wondering how life would be away from the gang.
WILLIAM RIKER :
plots - when the enterprise hosts an event, your muse & will strike up conversation in ten forward.
dynamics - your muse is an unruly officer & will is their commanding officer. they butt heads often. - literally anything where will gets into a competitive rivalry.
JACK DANIELS :
plots - your muse is another statesman spy & is put on assignment with jack. - your muse is jack's target. he's trying to get as close as possible.
dynamics - jack knows he's one of statesman's best. he doesn't like the idea of sharing that title with anyone else. ♡ your muse knows very little about jack's true work. he tries to keep your muse away from his work as much as possible.
VIRA'TER :
plots - your muse visits the station & attracts young vira's fascination. he just loves to learn about others.
dynamics - vira has grown up very sheltered so far. he might benefit from someone showing him how to bend the rules once in a while.
KAIDAN ALENKO :
plots - your muse & kaidan are on a mission. he gets one of his migraines. it's an all-around bad time for everyone.
dynamics ♡ your muse & kaidan somehow find love amidst the destruction of their galaxy.
STANLEY PINES :
plots - stan hasn't changed in all these years, as evident from a black eye & a messed-up hand. he insists the fight was worth it.
dynamics - your muse is some "snot-nosed kid" - & painfully reminds stan of how he was at their age. ♡ after feeling alone for so many years, stan finally finds someone who really understands him. he doesn't have to be the bad twin - just stan.
BAYEK :
plots - your muse asks bayek for a favor. he's kind & loyal - he'll do it. but your muse is coming along.
dynamics - your muse & bayek have both lost so much. few people can understand their dark, deep craving for revenge. ♡ your muse & bayek have both lost so much. but it's possible they can find something new.
JOEL MILLER :
plots - your muse & joel end up in some trouble. joel doesn't miss a chance to throw it in your muse's face. - your muse is new to jackson & goes to joel for help, hearing that he's a handyman.
dynamics - joel had to put down someone important to your muse. there's a lot of guilt & anger between them. ♡ with ellie safe in jackson, it's easier for joel to start moving forward in his life. of course, it starts falling in love.
a short bark of laughter comes from arthur as he stands, thumbs coming to hook into his gunbelt. his smirk is CROOKED, stretching over tanned skin in a way it often doesn't. it half comes from amusement, half because he's always a little put on the spot when teased by a woman.
" can't have that. i've got a reputation. "
arthur is QUIET for a moment, his smirk fading because he feels his work isn't yet done. emotional upkeep falls far beyond his scope of expertise - but arthur knows how it is when the chips always feel like they're down. like he's run out of options. it's not a feeling he wishes on any decent person.
" all's i'm saying is gut feelings ain't there for nothin'. what's the point in learnin' something the HARD way if you don't learn from it ? "
"trust your instincts. when the chips are down, they’re all you have." from @quastari / arthur
her gut is a constant: the way instinct has kept her alive, kept her aware. young woman is a contradiction - the gentleness of her features, of her mannerisms, even of her silence... yet how cleverness fills those doe eyes, always studying the world as if waiting for the next disaster. she's not blind to the universe and how things really seem to go. yet over, and over, brunette does her very best to keep on choosing to see the good even when she knows how likely it all is to end badly.
"the chips always seem to be down." it's a dry little joke, quiet under her voice, attention still on the papers she's carefully sorting through. if anything - she knows it's a flaw she's so often tried to ignore her gut in favour of trying to understand other's opinions. it's how she ended up engaged to bobby after all, isn't it? "careful, I'll think you're concerned about me."
open to mutuals !
❝ i heard a shot. you okay ? ❞
joel has his revolver at the ready. eyes scanning about - he hears nothing now, but he's been jumped one too many times to grow COMPLACANT at the absence of noise.
& sure, his tone is clipped & stern. it's a hot summer day & they should've been back in jackson two hours ago. but he stills takes a moment to make sure he isn't returning ALONE.
@composmentiis asked : ❝ really? i wouldn't have guessed that about you. ❞ - for barrett!
for muses that are getting to know each other ( accepting )
-
with his eyes still lowered, barrett only occasionally makes glances at the other man. he was a QUIET man at the best of times - speaking about his history is a habit that had died a long time ago.
he only offers a single-shouldered shrug, pulling the tangled & dented shelving upright with very little effort. barrett's boots crunch against broken glass.
❝ spent most my life outdoors, ❞ he replies simply, moving on to the next piece of destroyed equipment. ❝ looks like a bear came through. real hungry, from the looks of it. hope you didn't have anything in here that'd HURT it, doc. ❞
smplive sentence starters
❝ i always fail. i always fail, dude. ❞
❝ another one, bartender. ❞
❝ i will cause desolation on a fundamental level. ❞
❝ i’m an adult. a working adult. ❞
❝ respectfully, you got boofed. ❞
❝ *throws stick* you seem to be in a sticky situation. ❞
❝ *throws bone* i have a bone to pick with you. ❞
❝ i have the power, that’s all i’m gonna say. ❞
❝ is that a crying laughing emoji? ❞
❝ i am attempting to enjoy myself, and apparently, that is the antithesis of all your values. ❞
❝ my laptop is broken. it does not work. there is, uh, burn marks all over it. ❞
❝ i love you, too….WAIT WAIT WAIT, i didn’t want to make that commitment. uh, i like you a lot, as a friend. ❞
❝ there’s two things you can do here: watch baseball or watch the corn. ❞
❝ ms. frizzle has hot lesbian sex. ❞
❝ i’ve just written a song about tortillas. ❞
❝ i’m just gonna say it once: i think you’re full of shit. ❞
❝ why do you expect me to be able to do all these things? ❞
❝ you can’t just keep saying “you know me” and expect me to know you better. ❞
❝ can you calm down? you’re creating a ruckus. ❞
❝ you like dick and balls? ❞
❝ are you planning on burning down another treehouse? ‘cause i wanna be there when it happens. ❞
❝ you think this is a fucking joke? you think this is a game? ❞
❝ dude, fuck old people, man. ❞
❝ i’m gonna come clean with you: there’s a price on your head. ❞
❝ never have i ever turned down the opportunity to suck the shit out of a dick. ❞
❝ are you gay? ARE YOU GAY? ❞
❝ silence the weak, that’s what i say. ❞
❝ what kind of follower of jesus christ are you? ❞
❝ that’s communism! you’re a tyrant! ❞
❝ today has been SO upsetting. ❞
❝ you’re a paranoid little baby. ❞
❝ who is obama? i am obama. ❞
this bar was just about the same as any other arthur has ever been to. patched up holes in the walls, flickering lights, mucked up floor from years of dirty boots & tobacco & dried blood. a offensively STALE smell hung in the air that would've had arthur wrinkling his nose in disgust if he weren't already used to bad smells.
perhaps due to hope baxter. he does not know if she brought along a bottle of that FANCY perfume the girls at camp are always raving about. or maybe that's just how she smells - like the treats arthur used to steal from a bakery stand when he was a boy. when he turns his head towards hope, he almost feels sixteen again. stuffing his face with a warm biscuit while dutch laughs & pats his shoulder in approval.
❝ what i'd do ? what, like be a FANCY banker or lawyer ? ❞ arthur answers with a laugh, bringing up his glass to down the rest of his whiskey. ❝ or- or a lawman ? somethin' like that ? ❞ there's another short laugh. it rumbles in his chest as he shakes his head.
arthur reclines back in his wooden chair, taking the chance to scan the room once again. he's been keeping his eyes on a particular guy in the corner - clad in dark clothes with a hat that goes over his eyes & arthur has been trying to decide if he was a THREAT or not. a drifter or a hunter. he caught a look at the man's hands when he bought a beer - large & rough & scarred. it was too easy to imagine him snatching hope right out from under him.
the brief moment of consideration passes before arthur's gaze returns to the woman beside him. he noticed how tightly her fingers grip her skirts. wonders why she seems all wound up when coming her was her idea.
❝ look, ❞ arthur continues, leaning just a little closer, ❝ fella like me don't get a lotta choices in life. my momma died real young. my father was an even WORSE man than me, if you can believe it. all things considered, i coulda made a whole lot worse choices. ❞
& then something dawns on him. a reason why miss hope was asking a question like this. she wasn't like bill - a fool who asks dumb questions for no reason.
he catches another whiff of her. it makes him lower his hat over his eyes & pull back. that helps him think a little clearer. ❝ ... what 'bout you ? ❞
hope completely understood his hesitance when she'd requested this small reprieve , she even assured him that she knows this is stupid . . . but she was losing her mind sitting in 𝑺𝑰𝑳𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 , crammed into that tiny room with him . unbeknownst to arthur , this was actually one of the less risky options for stimulation her wandering mind had concocted . the rest ? well , they weren't exactly decent thoughts - & would only serve to complicate things further .
the way he's caged her into this corner of the establishment all by their lonesome is causing something new & warm to stir within her, certainly not helping her with fighting these devilish thoughts. all her life she's been warned of this exact feeling, to never let a man overrule her devotion to the lord above - to take advantage of her 𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 . she'd always secretly scoffed at the notion , that her faith could be so shakable .
for the first time , she's beginning to understand the 𝑾𝑬𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻 of their cautionary sermons .
but arthur ... he isn't at all like the men she's been taught to be wary of . well , maybe he is , sometimes - but that's not all there is to him . the outlaw has never once made her feel uncomfortable or pressure her in any way . he's always kept a respectable distance , even if she quietly 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒔 he wouldn't . all he's ever done is protect her , scaring off any wasted degenerate that so much as looked at her in a way he didn't like . she's been protected like a precious jewel all of her life , but not like this . sure, he's being well paid for the service , very well paid - but hope is sure there's something else contributing to his steadfast safeguarding of her . . .
or maybe she's just 𝑰𝑴𝑨𝑮𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 things she'd like to be true . it's hard to say with how little he gives away behind that ruggedly handsome countenance.
her gaze drifts past his broad shoulder, watching the bar's other inhabitants with the 𝒘𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 of a girl long sheltered from the world . this is just about the first saloon she's ever been inside of & while it's exactly the sort of den of debauchery she's been told it would be , similarly to her traveling companion , there's more to it than that .
men are laughing , smacking each other on the back in camaraderie & singing 𝑩𝑶𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑺𝑳𝒀 along to a slightly out of tempo piano accompaniment . there are couples scattered about too , speaking in hushed tones - smiling , blushing , & exchanging tentative touches . in fact , the two of them probably read to the rest of the room as exactly that : a man & a woman , just getting to know each other - still in that shy tentative talking stage .
there's a 𝒔𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒌 there , each of them too burdened by their respective albatrosses , suffocating them of the oxygen it would take to set it ablaze .
❝ i dunno . . . ❞ teeth sink into her bottom lip , sky blue gaze flickering back to meet his once more . ❝ different like , having 𝑪𝑯𝑶𝑰𝑪𝑬𝑺 i guess . getting to decide who you want to be , not just what people want from you . . . like that . ❞ she sets down her empty glass , running a dainty finger idly around the rim . ❝ any idea what you'd do ? ❞
open to mutuals !
❝ i’m not supposed to advocate for violence. as captain, i disagree with what you did. ❞
jon knew the small brawl would bring nothing but trouble. starfleet headquarters will DEFINITELY have a thing or two to say about it - they’ll pressure him to punish the one responsible. but he was also VERY WELL aware that these particular aliens were less than polite.
❝ but ... how did it feel ? ❞
for muses that are getting to know each other
❝ what's your favorite color and why? ❞
❝ can i come with you? ❞
❝ you have a nice smile, has anyone ever told you that before? ❞
❝ how do you take your coffee? ❞
❝ sorry, what was your name again? ❞
❝ it just occurred to me i never asked you what your last name is. ❞
❝ actually we've met before. ❞
❝ i've heard a few things about you. ❞
❝ care to join me? ❞
❝ i'm not really sure why i trust you. ❞
❝ i don't usually talk this much, it just feels easy to say stuff when you're listening. ❞
❝ i know we don't know each other that well but if you wanna talk about it... ❞
❝ could you help me with something? ❞
❝ do you like it here? ❞
❝ are you new around here? ❞
❝ you can ask me anything you want. i promise i'll answer truthfully except the things i feel like lying about. ❞
❝ i don't mean to be too forward, you just seem like you could use a friend right now. ❞
❝ you can come with me. i mean if you don't have anyone waiting for you. ❞
❝ we're friends now. you can ask me for help. ❞
❝ do you like this music? i can change it. ❞
❝ what are your favorite snacks? ❞
❝ really? i wouldn't have guessed that about you. ❞
❝ do you mind if i ask about it? ❞
ACTIONS:
VISIT: for sender to go to receiver's home for the first time
VISITED: for receiver to go to sender's home for the first time
CRYING: for sender to see receiver cry for the first time
CRIED: for receiver to see sender cry for the first time
BEGIN: sender and receiver are on their first date together
TRIP: our muses go on a group trip but end up stuck together, away from the rest of their friends.
SITUATION: our muses are acquainted because one of them is their friend's roommate. muse a shows up when their friend isn't there and ends up hanging out with muse b one on one.
GO: our muses go to a zoo or theme park together and get lost.
INVITE: sender cooks for receiver for the first time
INVITED: receiver cooks for sender for the first time
TOGETHER: our muses spend the night for the first time
TRY: our muses hooked up and are hanging out the next day
COMFORT: sender is going through a break up and receiver offers to cheer them up
COMFORTED: receiver is going through a break up and sender offers to cheer them up
OFFER: sender gives receiver a ride to the airport/picks them up
OFERED: receiver gives sender a ride to the airport/picks them up
AID: sender helps receiver redecorate
AIDING: receiver helps sender redecorate
arthur wanted to stay in the room all night. it wasn't all too smart to go gallivanting around town - sure, they've had a quiet couple days. made good time without any bullets flying their way. perhaps that's what made arthur COMPLACENT. easy to be convinced for a drink or two when they outta stay hidden away.
hope baxter may have had the ability to sweet-talk him all the way to the saloon, but she couldn't stop himself from keeping an eye on the doors. or mad-dogging everyone who walked a little too close to their table. or keeping hope tucked away between himself and the wall.
the whiskey bites, & arthur is careful not to INDULGE too much - out of the ordinary but necessary. a few uneventful days is all it takes for anybody's guard to drop.
her question prevents him from taking another sip. his brows pinch together, nose scrunching a bit as arthur considers the question. ❝ different how ? ❞
but he's got an inkling on what hope means. it's a sentiment he considered once upon a time - when he was a young man being pulled two different ways. wondering what could change in his life that would allow him to have everything and give up nothing.
it was a fool's GAME to wish. nothing never came of it.
𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝑵𝑶𝑵𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑩𝑨𝑳 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺 ( accepting ! )
@quastari said : ∗ 53﹕ sender buys receiver a drink at a bar . ( from arthur )
❝ - thanks . ❞ it's not her first of the night & with the way things are going , it's not going to be her 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 . he's hardly set the glass down before she's reaching for it - tossing the liquor back so fast she can't think too hard about whether she ought to go back to at least pretending to be a sensible young lady .
with each passing day of their journey , hope has only grown more & more disquieted . her thoughts have been far too loud & far too 𝑫𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑺 . it's become impossible trying to ignore the overwhelming sense of panic her betrothal inspires , at times the weight feels so heavy in her chest she can hardly breathe . driving her even more insane , she can't express any of it . well , she could - but what good will that do ? regardless of her feelings on the matter , she made a promise to her father & the stakes of the situation far outweigh one woman's happiness . . .
even if she's already given so much of herself to others , even if she feels like something inside of her is dying . . . even if she can't stop fantasizing about being a little 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇𝒊𝒔𝒉, just this once .
so here she is , 𝑫𝑹𝑶𝑾𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 her worries for at least a short while . the last thing hope wants to do tonight is think - & thankfully arthur doesn't seem all that opposed to indulging her coping mechanism of choice for the evening .
lord , & then there's arthur morgan - 𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 personified . in her inebriated state , hope's lingering gaze has become much less subtle than her typically fleeting glances . while not completely unabashed , she's allowing herself a slight respite from the usual spiral of guilt & shame . besides , it's not a crime to look - is it ? it takes every ounce of self control not to reach out & feel his solid frame beneath her fingertips , hands tightening & bunching up her skirts as an attempt to ground herself . it's not working , she needs a distraction - now .
turning to face him more , a bubbling giddiness present in her voice as the drink 𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑴𝑺 her inside & out , she throws out the first question that comes to mind , ❝ d'ya ever just wish things were . . . different ? ❞
part of arthur expected hope to reject his idea. scoff at the idea that a high-society girl like her should DEVOLVE into the hobbies of an outlaw like him. but that was just a brief flash of a dreadful fantasy - one arthur had partly hoped would come true before remembering who hope baxter was.
& even if she said no .... well, arthur couldn't quite rid his mind of the image of her holding his revolver with quivering hands. he'd looked over to her as soon as the shot rang out, half-expecting to see her body crumble to the dirt. instead, hope was quickly regaining control of the gun - eyes wide & chest heaving with FEARFUL adrenaline.
arthur would much rather see the latter, should this happen again.
❝ a'ight ... well, good. you gotta be able to PROTECT yourself. we had a close call - next time, we might not be so lucky. ❞
his voice rumbles out - as hard & serious as looming thunder. all the girls in the gang knew how to shoot, at least. he'd taught tilly himself. it should be no different.
with a jerk of his head, arthur leads away from camp & the river toward a tall, thick oak in the middle of a clearing. he makes his way over, pulling out his hunting knife & a rag as he goes. in one quick move, he impales the rag against the trunk of the tree at head height.
❝ there's your target, ❞ he says, unsheathing his revolver as he returns to hope's side. ❝ now, a shot in the shoulder is a good start. but if your life's in danger, you gotta give 'em somethin' more permanent. ❞
finally he looks up , & if her heart had been straining before she's pretty sure it just 𝑺𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑬𝑫 .
she's not an idiot , hope knows that her hired chaperone isn't remotely like any of the pious law-abiding gentleman from back home ( & despite herself , that's exactly what intrigues her so much about him ) . he's seen things , certainly done things she can't even imagine . even so , she just can't ignore her instincts . there's 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 to mr . morgan than his circumstances dictate , & the tragedy of it all is that he's so damn sure there isn't .
hope isn't exactly known for her 𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑨𝑰𝑵𝑻 , & as much as it pains her , now isn't the time to get into it . still , she tucks away his reaction to her reassurance , choosing to voice her convictions at another time .
allowing him to shy away from her absolution , she quickly picks up what he is putting down & visibly perks up at the offer . it shouldn't excite her so much , but the prospect of learning something new , something so 𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒚 contradictory to everything she's ever been taught to be . . . just the concept has an eagerness bubbling up inside her chest . ❝ - really , y'mean it ? ❞
realistically, when would she ever get an opportunity like this again ? in a couple of weeks she'll be stuck in this role that has been written for her . her whole life she has felt caged , wings 𝑪𝑹𝑨𝑴𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑮 under the desire to spread them wide & fly far . soon they will be clipped forever , & she's never even gotten off the ground . a tightness forms in her throat that she tries to ignore , to shove down & bury deep .
this is all for her family , she has to keep reminding herself of that . they have so little left . this marriage is the only way forward . the only one she's ever known , anyway . never once has she veered from the path laid out before her . . . 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒍𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒛𝒊𝒏𝒈 her own had never occurred to her , it wasn't even a possibility .
until now .
❝ that would be - i mean , just . . . ❞ now it's her turn to babble , she stops herself , shaking her head at her own overzealousness . don't make him regret this , hope . ❝ - yes , ❞ she finally manages , offering him a grateful smile .
❝ that sounds like a 𝑮𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑻 idea . ❞
with his head down, hat sat low to cover his eyes, arthur doesn't catch the searching look in her eyes. it was purposeful - he could see her face in his head. forcing a smile but it doesn't reach wide, FRIGHTENED eyes. he'd seen them on mary once, when they were out on the town & a couple guys recognized arthur & it turned into a shootout. it was one of the last times he saw her.
he did not CARE to see that look again.
" it wasn't your fault, arthur. "
carefully, like a wounded dog, arthur lifts his head. the brim of his hat reveals slender shoulders, a long, PALE neck, a pink bottom lip hanging separate from the other & tinged with a frown. hope's eyes are genuine - even after days of travel, it surprises him to see. because now he knows her sympathy is real.
❝ i, erm - don't... huh. ❞
hosea always told him not to babble when he's speechless. it only makes him look simple ( which arthur isn't convinced he's not, to hosea's displeasure ) & he should just keep his mouth shut. but in that moment, he felt almost DESPERATE to respond.
❝ i had an idea. uh.... a thought. might come in handy down the line, but we don't gotta if you'd prefer to turn in. ❞
arthur steps back, his hand falling down to his gunbelt to rest on the cool iron of his revolver. a creature of habit - leaning into guns & violence & preparing for the worst because it's as easy as breathing. mary was right.
he won't ever change.
from her position , hope is more or less eye-level with his injured knuckles . the darkening crimson draws her gaze as he speaks , but she does her best not to linger there for too long. it looks like it hurts . the twinge of sympathy upon her gentle features is plain as her gaze rises to meet his once again , also noting the state of his eye . if only he would just let her help . . . the thought makes something in her heart 𝑨𝑪𝑯𝑬 .
❝ y'don't have anythin' to be sorry for . ❞ she tries to meet his gaze , anyway - but she finds that it is all over the place . not much time needs to be spent theorizing in order to deduce the 𝒐𝒃𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 , rosy lips falling open in stunned realization ❝ you're . . . not blaming yourself for what happened , are you ? ❞
he definitely is , she would bet money on it if she had any of her own . hope is deeply familiar with that look , that feeling - taking on all the weight of the world for everyone else , leaving oneself behind in the process . looking up at him now , she might as well be looking in a 𝑴𝑰𝑹𝑹𝑶𝑹 .
❝ it wasn't your fault , arthur . ❞ she takes the opportunity to stand , needing to emphasize that fact with a firmness remaining crouched would 𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒚 not communicate properly . the man had saved her skin too many times to count already , she'll be damned if he discounts all of that as if it were nothing .
❝ please don't do that to yourself , not on my account - okay ? ❞
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