Queenbean92 - The Bean

Johannapolle

Dec 13

I can honestly say that I'm not doing good. My head has been very stuffed with stress of "home". About 92% of my stress & anxiety really. I'm just very very very freaked out, this has brought back feelings of exactly what we went through last year around Thanksgiving. & scares the absolute shit out of me. I never ever want to be in that situation where next thing i know I'm homeless. Really the worst feeling EVER. So I've been fixating on it all and making myself more paranoid and terrified. I just want to feel better. Then the other 8% is filled with my thoughts & paranoia about everyone in my life truthfully disliking me & just being lied to about it. I can't get any of these out of my head they bother me so much it keeps me up at night.

I don't know me anymore, not even where I'll be in the next couple of weeks and i hate how unstable my home/social lives feel. Idk what to do.

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Got the email that I never ever wanted to get the other night.

Pretty sure I have a warrant out now, and that makes me crazy. I can't do this again.

Fuck

Bethesda Inktober Day 23 - Nuclear.

"War. War never changes."

late 19th century perfume bottles