If You Don’t Understand Why Polyphemus (cyclops) Was So Mad At Odysseus For Killing His Sheep, Just

RIP Odysseus you would’ve loved Betty by Taylor Swift

Odysseus was the original short king

Me with the manwhore au:

*first introduction*- Oh that's funny.

*sees sexy fanart*- Oh...that's *cough* I'm just going to reblog that here.

*finds self scrolling through the tag on tumblr, looking up related smut on ao3 to read later, imagining a version I'd write*- ...wait

hi hello i’ve seen far too many people find out about the telegony and be devastated that the odyssey’s happy ending does not remain happy for long.

so.

the telegony is not canon. it was not written by homer. some wannabe called eugammon of cyrene wrote it. telegonus was a character from one of hesiod’s works (not homer’s) and he’s never mentioned in the odyssey. eugammon just decided to make him odysseus’s son with circe because why not.

the telegony directly contradicts the ending of the odyssey in which odysseus and penelope grow old and die together. ALSO. odysseus’s bloodline cannot have more than one than one male heir per generation. some ancestor of his was cursed by a god. so that makes telegonus’s existence impossible. if odysseus ever had a kid with circe (which he didn’t in canon) it would have had to be a girl.

homer was long dead when eugammon was like. telegonus is gonna kill his dad and bring his step family to his mom’s island, marry his stepmother while is half-brother marries his mother. never happened. this is ancient fanfiction.

TL;DR : feel free to entirely ignore the existence of the telegony; it’s what i’ve always done anyway.

For those of you saddened by the not yet reconciled relationship between Odysseus and Athena in Epic the Musical’s timeline, I’d like to give you some information that could help your heart.

In the Odyssey, Athena holds back the dawn until Odysseus and Penelope are fully satiated with their reunion— since this happens after the timeline of Epic, I personally head cannon her doing this for Odysseus and him afterwards immediately being like ‘yk nvm ur so right Athena this life IS amazing when you greet it with open arms’

And then ghost polities sneezes in the underworld, and he knows all is ok

Abandoned factory

Fairies when they say they know a place:

RIP Telemachus you would’ve loved Taylor Swift’s Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me

LMAO ‘Don’t tell my mommy, but I’m running away guys >:3’ scene from Telemachus in Book 2

“… My friends! Come on, let us go fetch the rations;

they are ready in the hall.

But quietly— my mother does not know…”

Oh Telemachus you teenaged (early 20s) rebel