Quince-jelly - Make Art, Not War

Unexpected

Wei WuXian would like to say the first thought that came to him after the shock was joy.

An unforeseen, but inevitable consequence of a Yin-heavy cultivator and a Yang-heavy cultivator dual cultivating as frequently and vigorously as he and Lan Wangji had been doing.

Pregnancy.

Impossible and unsurvivable to an average man, still incredibly dangerous to Wei WuXian with his still-low cultivation.  The doctor’s list of dangers and precautions needed was endless and Wei WuXian made no attempt to memorize them just yet.  Lan Wangji beside him was managing that.  He would tell him what he needed to know later.  Instead he spread his palms over the little swell in his belly he’d thought was too much time pampered by Lan Wangji until an hour ago and sorted through the disbelief and spike of fear.

He was going to have a child.  Lan Wangji’s child.

The look on Jiang Cheng’s face is going to be priceless.

The thought was loud and seemed to come from nowhere.  As if the idea of a child had returned part of himself to his youth, Wei WuXian ducked his head to hide the sudden shit-eating grin and started to quietly plot.  Naturally, Jiang Cheng should be told before the other members of their sect, considering his relationship with Wei WuXian.

Three weeks later, Jiang Cheng arrived and stepped into the formal family dining room with a suspicious look.   He tensed and relaxed in turns at the sight of Lan Xichen out of seclusion and a scowling Lan Qiren; their presence suggesting something official, the look on their faces suggesting something dire.  Wei WuXian manfully held in a giggle when his puzzled glare settled on Lan Sizhui for a moment before he took the seat he was offered.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why you were asked here in such a manner.” Lan Xichen began delicately, two years away doing nothing to his excellent ability to set people at ease.  “I assure you there is no great concern between our sects, this is something rather more personal you see-”

“I’m pregnant!” Wei WuXian cut in.

Jiang Cheng’s face was glorious.

His eyes widened and his eyebrows jumped up in surprise, then his whole face scrunched in a suspicious displeasure that dissipated into shock when he darted a look at the Lans sharing the table with them and confirmed it wasn’t a joke.  Wei WuXian read the familiar “of course” on his face, then watched as the full realization hit him and his lips fluctuated wildly between a disgusted twist and disbelief.

“…wh-how?” he fumbled out.

Wei WuXian watched the instant regret in his suddenly drawn up spine and panicked eyes, but didn’t give him a chance to retract the question.   “Well, you see, my dear, Lan Zhan is such an incredible man.   So virile his seed can grow in fallow ground.  But this field has been very well-plowed, so of course this is to be expected.”

Jiang Cheng made a high-pitched noise Wei WuXian hadn’t heard since his voice had stopped cracking.  Lan Qiren shouted his name in outrage as Wei WuXian threw his head back in a peal of laughter. 

Disgusted Jiang Cheng and Uncle.  Whimpering brother-in-law and a red-faced and one mortified son. 

Success.

As his name was shouted from several directions with an array of ire and embarrassment, Wei WuXian leaned against Lan Wangji and only laughed more.

Ah, and there was still Jin Ling to tell!

OKAY TUMBLR. IT'S TIME TO SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL

Reblog this if you pronounce “.gif” as “JIF.”

NOT GIF,

JIF.

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WE SHALL SEE WHICH ONE PREVAILS.

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Forever and always. - For heck’s sake, give us Hide’s backstory already.

Best sharpshooter on this side of the Grand Line~