Drunk And In Love And Full Of Food I Think Only The Torturer Eel Could Harm Me

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When Billy Batson's identity gets exposed why doesn't he just... lie. Like, nothing else he comes up with is going to be more unbelievable than the homeless ten year old with a magical girl transformation that turns him into a giant himbo of an indestructible demigod. Just. Lie, Bill. No one is going to know the difference. If they didn't clock you then, they're not going to clock you now.

"I pissed off a witch and she cursed me. It gets overridden when I use my powers—you know, 'blessings of the gods' and all—but I haven't figured out how to get it totally off yet. Great for free ice cream tho."

"Billy Batson died five years ago and I'm the last figment of his imagination"

"C.C. and Marylin Batson stumbled across my tomb during a expedition and now I just look like this."

"I was created ten years ago from the ambient magic in the Rock of Eternity."

"I age really, really slowly."

"Zeus thought it would be funny."

"I made a bet with Klarion and lost."

"This is how I looked when I died."

"My species just ages like this. Are you telling me you don't? How was I supposed to know I should mention it!"

"You ever seen the movie Freaky Friday?"

"It's rude to ask a lady her age!"

("It's rude to what?!)

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

I want cheese. more specifically the baby bell cheese I have down stairs, but I have already brushed my teeth and im too lazy to do it again. tis a great dilemma, to cheese or not to cheese

I just remembered that when I was like 10 I used to wish that I’d wake up one day and the past few years had just been a dream and I was like 7 again. Genuinely that was a regular thing for lil old 10 year old me who apparently was not okay

This reminds me of that one set of cover designs for the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy. If I remember correctly all four of those fit together to make a different image depending on how you arranged them.

“Link, I heard a girl’s voice call out to me when I fell. It felt oddly familiar..” “…”

How is bnha anime of the decade...... they aren’t even anime of the hour of the minute of the second

The first time Danny sees Dick Grayson he calls him Tata.

Danny, in his Ghost Zone travels, befriended the Flying Graysons. John and Mary like him so much, that it started as a joke, sort of.

"Ahhhhh, the son we never had! Welcome!"

"My little Robin's long lost little brother, come, come!"

And it morphed into him jokingly calling them Tata and Daj. Then it wasn't really a joke anymore.

Then the Observants inform him that as far as Ghost Law is concerned, they're his Ghost Guardians.

This means that Danny has two sets of parents; Jack and Maddie on the human side of things, and John and Mary on the ghost side of thing.

So when he sees Dick Grayson, who looks a lot like John, it just slips out.

This leads to a very awkward stare off in the middle of a coffee shop.

Danny has no idea how to explain himself.

Billy: I don't want to be adopted by anyone from the League. Batman asked and I had to buy him an ice cream cause I felt bad for saying no.

Freddy: Ha, at least no one tried anymore, right? Eugene and I have a betting pool, so please tell me they hate you

Billy: Haha. I mean, Wonder Woman kinda seems like she wants to? She pretty much tackled me into a hug and made me regret drinking coffee-

Freddy: Backtrack. Backtrack. Wonder Woman. Wants to adopt you.

Billy: I mean, yeah, but of course I said no-

Freddy: WONDER WOMAN. WANTS TO ADOPT US.

Billy: I don't see how this relates to you but-

Freddy, writing in the Shazam Fam GC: everybody buckle up new mom just dropped

-

Diana, proudly showing off pictures of her newly adopted kids: And this is my beloved Mary. My beloved Eugene. My beloved darling Darla, and my beloved Pedro, and my beloved Freddy, and my beloved Billy. They enjoy video games and snacks

Bruce, taking this as an obvious challenge, taking out the Batfamily Batalbum: This is Jason. His favorite hobby is murder