I Wanna Read This So Bad

How To Make Your Writing Less Stiff 6

Part 5

Part 1

Adverbs

Gasp! Oh no. Dare come yet more writing advice burning adverbs at the stake? Vindictively, gleefully, manically dancing in the ashes?

No.

This is not about whether or not you should use them, but their frequency and obvious places to replace them. Most bad adverbs are the common ones that could be replaced by verbs we all know.

“She ran quickly” // “She sprinted”

“He said angrily” // “He snapped” “He chided” “He chastised”

vs.

“He ate voraciously”

“She swayed solemnly”

“She laughed sadly”

Bonus if you can add in some alliteration like ‘swayed solemnly’

If you can come up with an obvious verb to replace your verb + adverb combo, do so. If it would take more words or the closest applicable verb doesn’t hit the same vibe, then leave it. Adverbs should enhance the verb, not be redundant. Verbs shouldn’t be pretentious just to avoid them.

“She smiled happily” — most smiles are happy. Happily is redundant.

“He ran quickly” —a run is, by nature, quick

vs.

“She smiled sourly”

“He ran erratically”

Also!

The adverb need not always be after the verb.

“C accepted gladly” // “C gladly accepted”

But also

“Glad, C accepted”

“A shook their head resolutely” // “Resolute, A shook their head”

“The child skipped excitedly away.” // “Excited, the child skipped away.” // “The child skipped away, excited.”

English is flexible like that.

Which is what I mean with managing your adverb frequency. As most end in the -ly, too many in succession, on top of the repeat syntax of Subject - Verb - Adverb looks boring and dull (and so does beginning every sentence with the subject). It helps with your cadence and flow if you don’t have entire paragraphs at a time all starting with “He [verb]” or “She [verb]” or “They [verb].” We don't speak like this in natural conversation.

But at the end of the day, there are some juicy adverbs that have no equal without busting out the thesaurus for some obscure lexical nugget that no one would understand anyway.

CRYING RN

TURTLE TOTS WADDLEEEEE

Sorry I was in a doodling mood lol so enjoy the product of my chaos. <3

Also currently chonky eyebrows for Donnie are winning in the poll, so I used them above, feel free to vote here if you want to pick which brows I use for him in the final edit!

Donnie Eyebrow Poll

Also also, will have an update probably on Friday when I estimate Tattered Cloak will be finished. I actually started writing so yay for that <3.

Alright love y'all and have a great morning, noon or night!

I AM NOT GONNA JUST PASS BY AND NOT DRAW SOMETHING. I WAS BLIND FOR DIDN'T NOTICE HIM EARLIER AAAAADVDPDKBPDADPD

Crying. Posts this and instantly dies.

Replica au by @kathaynesart

First Profile in Tumblr😅✌️💕

My SUPER long Bayverse Turtle Headcanons

PART ONE - Their 'Anatomy' Edition

(Bruh, I've been thinking so hard about this shit. Completely based off real turtle anatomy and problems!)

Nocturnal eyesight. Mostly. It's not perfect but still pretty good. They're eyes glow in the dark (2014). It's a sign of reflecting light in the eyeball. Cats have it.

They all have third eyelids. They look like a milky white film. They can't really control it, and they only appear when they are sick, underwater, under bright sudden light, during combat, or sometimes when they are unconscious. They can see just fine through them.

Churrs are rare. Even rarer the older they get. Sounds like a super deep, rabid fire, 'thuckthuckthuckthuckthuck-' in their chest. It's a vulnerable sound and it's super inhuman- they hate it about themselves. Continuous churrs usually only happen when they are asleep (they can't help it). But you might hear it on an exhale as he cuddles you, or when he whips his head around in anger, or when he yanks you into a hard hug after a scare, or yelp one out when he gets a bad kick to the face-

They shed. They're scutes and skin get EXTREMELY dry and tight before the layers start peeling off. Large areas of their exposed body are humanoid epidermis, but it still sheds off. They prefer to stay in the water during shedding weeks. The faster they get this itchy shit off, the better-

Shells have sensation, but it's weird, and your turtle will NOT be able to explain it in a way that makes sense. Yes, they feel your hand. No, they are not in crippling pain when shot with a bullet. The sensitivity is just...weird.

They 'hibernate'. But not in a way you think. Outsiders see it as an extreme case of 'winter blues'. Their routines, personalities, and/or rationality don't change a bit. But they are way more hungry, tired, irritable, and lazy than usual. You will see each turtle passed out holding a mug of hot coco at least once during winter.

Next up, they do have mating season. But its way WAY less sexy than you'd think. Just getting out of 'Winter Blues', Spring Fever is a two week window when they are extra hormonal, super hungry, extremely irritable to each other and absolutely chalk FULL of energy. Frequent sexy times are a good way to release all this pent up stress😏

They have stripes. Not really a headcanon. Donnie literally has stripes on his neck and Mikey has the most beautiful zebra shell ever. Leo and Mikey have pretty color patterns on their plasteron. Raph kinda does too. I'm sure all four have them in places, they're just super faint.

Shell-rot is something they have to watch out for constantly. So they take daily showers to keep bacteria from staying on their scales and shell too long. Mold can eat away their plasteron, like how sugar causes cavities in your teeth. But it's less about 'holes'; Their shells get squishy, bloody, stink like rotten flesh and it's utter agony. AND if the infection gets in their blood- that's super bad news. Donnie has signs of shell rot scarring under his backpack (top of his shell). Leo has some rot scars on his plasteron. Raph needs to REALLY look out for it because of the cracks in his shell.

Pyramiding is scary as shit. All the turtles except MIKEY show bad signs of it. It's a sign of poor diet and lighting. Too much protein and not enough sunlight can cause their scutes to build up and grow weird, until their shell starts growing INWARD like a bowl instead of outward like a hill.

Turtle eye infections are super easy to get and they HATE IT. Their eyes get irritated and goopy, sometimes going bloodshot and it's hard to open their third eyelid. The eyeballs were mutated a lot, but not so much as to spare them from easy eye infections. They treat these infections with turtle eye drops they get from the pet store. It works.

They produce a LOT of body heat. A lot. A kiss from a ninja turtle is just as warm as a human. They mutated into endothermic humanoid organisms, capable of maintaining a constant body temperature on their own. They are also big guys with big bodies 😂 (Sweating in the plane in Oots, hardly no blankets in cold sewer, no shivering while running around in the snow in the first movie, or the outside ceremony at the end of oots, ect, ect.) While cuddling, your turtles cooler plastron will be your only savior when trying not to die of heat. No, you really won't need blankets. Trust me.

Their shells are super light. Listen, the shells look and sound like they add maybe two hundred pounds to each turtle. But they walk around and do ninja stuff without dying immediately from horrific internal injuries.

Their shell is supported by their ribcages. Like an internal hug around the chest. Their spine and ribs look a lot more like our own. They have a moving diaphragm. Mutated cartilage systems create support and space between their spine and carapace, creating a 'bullet proof' system to absorb impact, and space for things like 'shoulder bones' and 'diaphrams' to move. AND flexibility to tuck into their shells.

Cracking the shell could still be lethal. Much like cracking the shell of an actual turtle. But that is much more difficult to do with these guys. Raph was walking around with zip ties glued to his shell for a while (after the first movie) and he had to tell April what they were for.

burned a few braincells trying to figure out the subway lair 🧍‍♂️

some of the research with hasty notes as i, a country person, tried to essentially explain how subways work to my city friends (idk how subways work). anyway, i figured i'd share these in case there's someone out there who's just as crazy as i am! :]

A mouth-watering fuck-ton of hand angle references.

By Shadowcross on DA.