I Think Zoro Should Keep A Piece Of Luffy's Vivre Card That Sabo Gave Him

Hargreeves Siblings: *arguing*

Klaus: *starts levitating*

Allison: Klaus what are you doing?

Klaus: rising above this bullshit

Vanya: oh shit bro good idea *also starts levitating*

Klaus: nice *gives her a high five*

The rest of the siblings: what the fuck guys

More headcanons for Zolu as parents:

- No way Luffy is ever gunna stop being a pirate so neither will Zoro & they take the kids with them most places.

-When they think it might be too dangerous (usually decided by Nami lol) they drop 'em off at Granny Dadan's with no warning whatsoever & just a vague note pinned to their clothes about coming back for them "later". Later meaning anywhere from a couple of days to weeks or even months. They always come back to them with new toys too so they love staying with Granny.

- They're almost always barefoot. Luffy completely understands why they hate shoes, but Zoro tries to at least make em wear sandals when the weather is too cold or too hot. They're always losing em though.

- I think they'd have 2 kids at the most. Zoro cut em off at the 2nd because he's the one who primarily takes care of them as babies & he's over diapers! It's like that episode of SpongeBob when they take care of the clam.

- Speaking of Zoro, he's definitely the primary parent & having children brings out a different side to him. The crew nickname him "Mama Bear" because in his own way he's very careful with them & yes he does have a strange thing about stairs.

- Finally acknowledging his habit of getting lost he actually keeps the kids strapped to him majority of the time until they get old enough to follow him like baby ducks. This is very cute, but slightly concerning as he doesn't let them down even during a battle. Even foes have scolded him for this lmao.

- He puts a sword in their hands as early as possible & is super excited to have "students".

-He's never lost track of the kids, but has gotten lost WITH them a bunch of times. They think it's fun though so no skin off his back. Fortunately they didn't inherit his sense of direction & will lead them back once old enough.

-On the other hand, Luffy lost them once & it freaked him the fuck out. After that, he's noticeably more serious when left alone with them. He's even put those child leashes on them which they do not appreciate.

-Luffy likes to juggle his kids & toss them around like balls. He throws them up a lot higher than most people (even Zoro at times) are comfortable with, but they absolutely love being manhandled by him.

- He lets them mess with his stretchy body whenever they want & likes to go into balloon form so they can bounce on his tummy.

- They're the only ones he lets sit in his special seat with him on the Sunny's figurehead.

-They're also the only ones who can steal food from his plate & not piss him off. It's like a game to see how much they can take before they get caught.

- You might think these kids are completely unsupervised, but Zoro & Luffy are always using observation haki to keep an eye on them. If they're running around with blades & someone is about to get stabbed with a flying knife you can be assured Luffy's hand is stretching to stop it just in time. Or he's keeping them from falling off a ledge they get too close to. Or Zoro's attack hits an animal getting ready to pounce on them after they've accidentally ticked it off. Don't worry about them. They're the safest kids in the world.

-Zoro & Luffy don't really discipline or have restrictions for them at all. Luffy grew up in the woods & Zoro has always been feral so they don't understand why it wouldn't be ok for kids to be doing dangerous things. You want to run around with scissors? Cool. You want to play with these matches? Have at it kids. You want to go look for a local giant bear on this new island? Sweet, let's all go together!

- Whenever they do have to be strict it's almost always Zoro & very rarely. Luffy almost never gets them in trouble, but when he does you know it's serious because he never gets angry at them.

-These kids are powerhouses too. Stronger than any of their friends kids & akin to Ace when he was a child. Fearless too so they get themselves into sticky situations all the time.

- I think they have 1 girl & new people are always mistaking her for a boy because of how her dads dress her & the fact that she's a total tomboy. "I'm a girl! " is practically her catchphrase. Sanji is her favorite of her dads friends because he is the first person to know she was a girl from the get go & that made her really happy.

- Possibly the only kids in the world who never complain about nap time despite being super hyper. Zoro likes to be on their schedule so the 3 of them tend to just huddle together when it's time as Luffy watches over them. They'll sleep anywhere too! Sometimes Luffy feels left out so he'll join them & wrap his stretchy arms around everyone while they sleep.

-Zoro keeps his last name, but the kids get Luffy's. When they're old enough to realize their name is Monkey they go through a phase where they only want to act like literal monkeys. Luffy thinks this is hilarious & joins them on & off. They went through so many bananas during this time. Zoro is a patient man.

- They bathe as much as their fathers do which is not as often as they should. If Nami is traveling with them she makes them bathe every day, but most of the time they're kinda dirty & sticky tbh. Their daughter eventually starts caring more about being clean, but their son is fine with a layer of dirt on him.

- They often ride their dads' shoulders when exploring a new island so they don't get tired. Chicken Fights are frequent & very serious.

-Lastly, they teach them to swim very young & really well. Since Luffy is a DF fruit user they don't want to risk their lives if they ever fall in & only he is around. Eventually they're so good they are even able to fish out their dad together when he falls in himself. They're like little fishes.

stinky papa! 🚭

"we need more traumatized characters/characters with ptsd and/or who are abuse victims portrayed realistically with symptoms that Arent cute and soft and pretty!" you guys couldnt even handle lapis lazuli

nao’s birth pt 7 🍼: he’s ours all right

Klaus: all hear ghosts.

Klaus: aLL THESE GOHSTS.

Klaus: and I still can’t find a boo.

AU in which the Monkey D. family has three brain cells between them when it gets to recognizing people and Dragon got all of them in the divorce.

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i have to reread the harvest festival arc

Roronoa "I need to match the color of my sash with the color of my captain's shirt" Zoro

5000 years ago.