Waltuh And Jesser…

look I'm a disability studies scholar so I know why people are like this. but. people really do get so pressed about the dumbest shit. why do you care if someone has multiple people in their head? why do you care if someone is existing with a mobility aid in your line of sight? why do you care if someone takes a couple extra seconds to formulate a sentence? even if you don't believe that someone is legitimately disabled (which is bad on its own. but still). what do you lose by just taking people at face value? and what do you gain by living life as an angry little ass all the time?

so. my wife came downstairs just as i took a bite out of the remaining half red onion on the counter. literally within seconds of just getting away with it. i looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both sat there a moment, all frozen, before she said babs, what the fuck. i tried to say i can explain but it came out as or corn explorn because such was the onion in my mouth that there was no room for words. its honestly a miracle that she understood me at all. at least, i'm assuming that she understood me because she did let me get my bearings for a few moments. a smarter man would've used that time to think up a good lie, but instead i just chewed as fast as i could because i knew i was gonna have to tell a whopper and i really wanted to be able to use big words again.

big words are instrumental to telling a whopper.

anyway, i totally ran out of time. i barely got my first swallow of onion in before she said well?, and i did at least have an empty mouth to match my empty head. but also i had no lies. so i looked her dead in the face, opened my mouth and waited, every bit as curious as her, to hear what excuse my mouth was gonna come up with.

im pregnant, said my mouth.

great job, mouth, said my brain.

mmmmm onion, said my mouth.

better you than me, said my wife.

then she went upstairs. it has been two hours she still refuses to kiss me. im devastated. im shook. im crying a little, i think.

(but that might just be the onion.)

Computer, show me characters gaining weight as a sign of their improving mental state. Show me characters learning to love their body as they learn to love themselves. Show me characters no longer punishing themselves for something that isn’t their fault. Computer. Computer do you hear me.

birds that look like fruit <3

biggest reason i make so many flop posts on here is because everything i do reeks of the desperation to make a popular tumblr post. this is deliberate, because it is what protects me from ACTUALLY making a popular tumblr post. so long as i crave it, tumblr fame will never find me. it is only when i turn away, and accept my fate of obscurity, that people will lay their eyes upon me. and it WILL be because i tripped and fell on my stupid face while i was turning

Walt when Jesse cooks

Inspired by

“I LOVE that game!” (watched a letsplay and commentary about it)

i loveee when you respond to a discord message with emoji reactions and like five other people join in. yeah... that message WAS a little bit angry crying emoji and uncomfortably detailed closeup of walter white's face huh...