Hey, Pssst. Ride The Cyclone Fans.

that's a horrifying sentence omg (it goes hard tho i love it)

I'm calling alkaline hydrolysis (water cremation) on this one.

No easy-to-locate bodies

Spare immersion heating cylinder

KOH (required) is a paint stripper, so would either already be on hand or raise no flags to purchase for a painter

Very wet paint

Over wallpaper: painting has a purpose other than redecorating

Victim's genetic material on the walls anyway, why would more be suspicious?

Paint would mask the smell (or incorporate it into what'd already be expected?)

Conclusion: dispose of the bodies by painting your house with them???

I do like him with his wife but i love ares too much XD. I would love if you would read my fic!!!! Its a Percy Jackson one bc i needed the base to write the pantheon as I see them. Its a ‘reading the books’ fic thats trying to solve the mystery of why the gods are some wierd hollowed out shells of their mythical selves(sorry Rick but you did my favs dirty) with a heavy focus on the gods who were super bashed in the books. Lots of Apollo/Dionysus bc they are my children. Im planning on updating soon.

I see your Ares/Hermes but I raise you Ares/Aphrodite/Hephaestus with Ares/Hermes also in an open and consensual (non-cheating) relationship. Lmao this is what I wrote in a fic and I loved their dynamics so here you go. Also Apollo/Dionysus all the way!!!

I'm more into Hephaestus/Aglaia (his wife), but i argee that Ares/Hephaestus/Aphrodite would have been a cool solution to the messy affair drama :) Also I would love to read your fic!!

Also Michael sheen is a fucking sociopath

The desperate half-grabbing at Crowley’s shoulders. The way you can see his heart break the moment he pulls away. The absolute shock and devastation on his face as he realizes what he’s giving up. The hard touch to his lips after Crowley leaves as he’s trying to get back that feeling again. The looking back. The forced smiles. The absolute agony you can see Aziraphale going through all because he genuinely believes this is the only way to make things better and being with Crowley is not more important than that. Right? Right?

Michael Sheen owes me money

i didnt realise ao3 was started in response to lj deleting account relating to p//edophi|ia and they explicitly support the posting of such works yikes

I am sorry, but what is Harlan doing making a podcast that is darker than malevolent. DARKER?? HOW IS IT DARKER? girl what are you doing, what fuels this. I don't want to know, I am a little curious... but that content warning list. Dear God wtf. I am not strong enough for this. Oh but it sounds good, and horrible and gross and what if, but like no.

I also think that it is funny tat he thanked his wife and posted what seems like a very heavy and disturbing. I don't know he is like I love my wife she is so wonderful and supports me! Look at this podcast I made, and it is really dark so look at the content warning about the show. (please don't take this as a criticism it isn't. I just think it is a bit funny because of the tone change)

The difference between Hikaru and Kaoru,

Is that, if you put your hand over their mouth to quiet them, Kaoru would lick your hand out of defiance, and Hikaru would bite you.

I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled. 

I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1.  the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “…You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside. 

Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY

Oscar Wilde, De Profundis // @i-wrotethisforme // Jorge Louis Berges // @smokeinsilence //@viridianmasquerade //Jorge Louis Berges // @honeytuesday // Kaveh Akbar // F. Scott Fitzgerald // AKR //Olivie Blake, from “Alone With You in the Ether” // Kaveh Akbar, Pilgrimage

I'm only thinking this bc I just literally did this for my cats, but radioapple fic where Alastor is NOT a morning person.

Like even remotely. At all. (He stays up late for his radio broadcasts - you think he's out of bed before 10am unless he HAS to be? No.)

However. He's also the one who makes everyone their breakfast because he's the only competent chef at the hotel. (There's a reason before he showed up all Angel Dust ate was popsicles, Charlie is sweet but her attempts to cook could be considered lethal.)

So he drags his ass downstairs at like 6am to make everyone breakfast (and then utilizes his fire/shadows to keep the food warm for everyone to eat whenever they get up.) And then once he's done he goes back to bed for a few hours before eating his OWN breakfast. (A nice, tasteful raw venison, instead.)

But he absolutely doesn't bother getting even remotely dressed or even brushing his hair. Just big poofy and sleep mussed hair, rumpled pajamas, and he's yawning every few minutes. This man is half awake and is working on instinct at this point.

Lucifer had absolutely no idea about this until one day his insomnia gets the better of him, and he's also awake at 6am, and he hears someone in the kitchen, so he decides to explore.

And he doesn't even know how to react to soft fluffy Alastor calmly making everyone breakfast, seeing his cute little deer tail just casually out, his hair not even brushed, and wearing significantly less layers than normal.

(and if you really want to give him a heart attack, make Alastor not sleep in long full pajamas but instead just shorts and a slightly oversized t-shirt that hangs off one shoulder - make Lucifer come to terms with his long ass deer legs, his cute little hoofies, AND his collarbones. All at 6am.)

But to top it all off, Alastor is just too tired and half-asleep to even react to Lucifer showing up. All Alastor does is ask if he wants anything different for breakfast, coffee, or something. And Lucifer is too confused to do anything other than agree, and he's not sure how to handle the dude who, the day before, was at his throat calmly handing him a plate of breakfast and a coffee. What.

And then Alastor, in between yawns, is like I'm going back to bed. And just leaves.

"You're not eating any of this????!" - "Hah! No."

Lucifer is suspicious, so he discreetly follows Alastor back to his room, only to see him faceplant into his bed and fall back asleep. (That's kind of cute. Wait, what? No, it's not!)

(When he re-emerges at 11am, he's just as much of an asshole to Lucifer as he was the day before. 6am Alastor and 11am Alastor are two different people.)

Lucifer may decide to become a morning person just to keep seeing this version of Alastor. Who knows.

Hey guys!

So my family just bought property in Arizona, it's in the middle of nowhere, dozens of miles from people. And while I grew up in the forest and knew the typical customs (dont step in fairy rings, avert your gaze from the glowing eyes in the woods, thank the trees) I have no idea of desert customs when it comes to ghosts and fae and the supernatural. I've never really visited the desert, so any advice would be nice!