"They Are Family, Brothers, And Their Relationship Will Always Be Strong. The Love, The Hate, The Support

There are about 4 million things i want to complain about, but honestly, what's the point, yeah? What is the actual point when there's no possible way to fix any of it without making everything else worse.

(edit cause yeah that was too dramatic to long post without a cut)

I'm too young to be wanting to give up already and i know that but never in my life was i given the opportunity to develop the right skills to succeed in life, never, i was homeschooled, i didn't get to do sports, i grew up poor, i didn't get to have real hobbies that amounted to anything, i was never taken seriously for struggling with school and all the subjects, i was so late in learning how to read it should have been incredibly concerning, i would have meltdowns and then be locked in a room with all the reading books alone for god knows how long, every single school year i would have meltdowns because i knew i wasn't able to do most of it, every math lesson my head was completely empty and i had to just guess because all of it looked the same and none of it made sense, i couldn't write a 50 word "creative writing" page because nothing happened in my head, none of the topics made sense, none of the words came out right, sure i did fine in history and geography but that was just remembering a few key names and picking the most likely answers, don't ask me anything about science because i don't know and i wasn't ever taught in a way that made sense, just yelled at and yelled at and yelled at because I'm supposed to be smart I'm supposed to know this stuff i saw it be done so why can't you do it it's easy. I was exhausted everyday, i had dark circles under my eyes at 6 years old that most adults wouldn't have, I'm still always so fucking tired, i would sleep for 14 hours straight and still be so tired it was a struggle to stay awake. Why was i never seen by some doctor? There were clear signs of other shit too, shit that shouldn't have ever happened to a 6 year old but since i was always always always praised for being quiet, i kept quiet about everything, i didn't talk to anyone outside, i didn't make friends, i didn't ask for things, i couldn't ask for help from anyone. At 10, i started to seriously contemplate offing myself, and still, it's there all the time, but who do i talk to? The person that doesn't know anything about me or the person that would tell me i have no reason to feel that way? Maybe the person that was raised in the same house as me but never had my struggles, so everything was okayish? I'm tired. I want to stop thinking for just a few minutes out of the day but it never stops it never shuts up and i can't let anything out because who the fuck cares. If you're not bleeding out, then there's no reason to see a doctor. Maybe it should have been a sign when i was forgetting everything by the age of 16, maybe. Maybe it should have been a sign when i would follow a certain person around like a dog because he was the only one to show me one on one attention, but nonono, he was safe, right? He was supposed to be safe, not touch a child. But he had his own issues, so it was good to see him be calm with me and be nice with me and smile with me. He wasn't supposed to shape my life view of intimacy and sex at 6 years old. Everything was fine. Im so fucking tired and weak and scared.

modern au Shelby siblings as artists with no explanations

Arthur: Creedence Clearwater Revival

Tommy: Tool

John: Pearl Jam / System of a Down

Ada: Lambrini Girls

Finn: Minor Threat

dm’ing people on here is so embarrassing 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️hi it’s me the giant pervert who lives in your phone. how’s it going

Hiroshi Nagai (Japanese, b.1947) 

Ralph Fiennes as Lenny Nero in STRANGE DAYS (1995) dir. Kathryn Bigelow

BELLA RAMSEY as ELLIE WILLIAMS ↳ "Feel Her Love" (S02E05) | The Last of Us

The hyperfixation is coming back strong

Going insane going insane going insane i didn't ask to be a part of this business why am i the one that should have to take a stupid marketing class and why are you sending me all these stupid Instagram "hacks and tips to grow your business overnight!" this is your business and honestly the stupid line of "well i want it to be established so that i can pass it down to you" YEAH WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE STARTED A BUSINESS IN YOUR 30S NOT YOUR FUCKING 50S HUH MAYBE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER IDEA AND WHO THE FUCK IS ESTABLISHING THIS BUSINESS? ME APPARENTLY SO YOU AREN'T GIVING ME SHIT IM JUST FORCED TO MAKE SOMETHING THAT WILL NOT LIVE PAST YOU. fucking hell.

all of my arthurjohntommy (and the possible individual pairs) thoughts are just Zooming through my head right now... i need asks, i need to yell about them but i need to have a tiny little prompt first or else i won't be able to decide what to yell about and then i won't post anything cause none of it makes sense... please i beg y'all for One ask-