Hey all! I've re-joined a fandom that is near and dear to my heart and I wanted to write something for all of these lovely people. Welcome to Good Omens!!
I'll be taking a break from Voltron for the time being, I need a change in scenery. Sorry to all those who are here specifically for that!
Without further ado; please join me and some drunk demons.
*
It was the one time a year where Heaven grouped together as a congregation to have their annual Great Plan meeting, where everyone was briefed on the vague idea of what could be happening in the coming year. Nobody was quite sure what to do now that the Apocalypse…. Hadn’t happened. Thus the vague meetings.
It was also the one time a year that Gabriel and Aziraphale dropped their respective demon partners at a bar and left them to their own devices for a few hours.
Despite popular belief, Crowley and Beelzebub got along quite well when there was alcohol involved. On this one day, they were reluctant friends instead of boss and subordinate. It was nice to have a change. Besides, it was also one of the only days that the Prince herself actually banished her flies and ran a comb through her messy hair, all for the sake of a few hours.
“Your Angel left you, too?” Crowley asks after they’d both gotten their drinks and sat in respective awkward silence for a few minutes.
Beelzebub scowls at her drink, a little more intensely than usual. “Yezzz. He’zzz running the damn thing.”
“You should’ve convinced him to cancel.” The snake scoffs, sipping his wine and glancing at the door. Twenty minutes in. This was going to last an eternity.
“I tried! He told me to buzzz off. Bloody angels and their bloody meetings.”
“Amen to that,” Crowley mumbles into his drink, ignoring the dirty look that earned him. Maybe he was picking up a few too many of Aziraphale’s linguistic habits. “So how is Hell doing, after you-know-what?”
“It’s more Hellish than usual, no thanks to you.” She scoffs. “Incredibly hot. Chaotic.”
“You should come and visit Earth more often, you might like it.”
Beelzebub rolls her eyes, knocking back the last of her drink and flagging over the bartender. “You sound like Gabriel.”
He makes a face, shaking his head. “Eugh, I make it a habit not to sound anything like him. Please don’t insult me like that.”
The Prince gives him a smug smile. “You dezzerve to be knocked down a few pegzz.”
Crowley ignores that. “Seriously, Beelzebub, your terrible Highness — coming up here may do you some good. You can… air out, as it were.”
“I quite like my office.” She says dryly, glancing up as the bartender pours her another drink. “It’zz familiar.”
“You’re festering.” He grins.
“I will not hezzitate to throw my drink on you, Crawley.”
“My name is Crowley,” the demon hisses, his yellow eyes flashing.
Beelzebub grins, tilting her head. “That’zz what I said.”
He considers her a moment, his eyes narrowing. Then he sighs heavily, shaking his head and turning back to his drink. “You’re still insufferable, I see.”
“The best of us never change.” She waves a hand. “How izz that Angel of yourzz?”
Crowley pauses, a dopey smile spreading over his lips at the thought of his Angel. Ah, Aziraphale… “He’s… He’s wonderful.”
“Dizzgusting.” She says flippantly.
The smile vanishes, replaced with an irritated scowl. That seemed to be a constant when he was in the Lord of the Flies’s presence. “And what about yours?”
“What, are you expecting me to get all mushy?”
“No, of course not.” He scoffs. “The Prince herself showing emotions? Preposterous. You don’t have a mushy bone in your body, Bee.”
“If I even have bones.” She says absently.
“If you even have bones,” he agrees. “But no, really, how is the Archangel Fucking Gabriel?”
The Prince cackles, throwing back her head. “He’s an azzhole! Juzzt like normal.”
“I never expected anything less.” Crowley rolls his eyes. How Aziraphale had put up with him for so long was a mystery to him — and it was an even bigger mystery how Beelzebub didn’t smite Gabriel where he stood every time he opened his mouth. Perhaps she was just attracted to rude dumbasses.
“He’s quite good in the bedroom, too.” She says, eyeing a couple in the corner who were making out like they would die if they didn’t spend their time swapping spit in a bar.
Crowley short circuits, the breath leaving his corporeal form. Then he smacks his hand on the counter with a triumphant, “I knew it!”
She gives him a flat look, but there was a hint of color creeping up on her sallow cheeks. “What? Did you place betzz?”
“Yes.” He nods. “I believe I won. My dear Angel owes me.”
“Azz if you two aren't fucking.” Beelzebub grumbles into her glass, glowering at him.
“In my defence,” Crowley holds up a finger. “It most definitely is not as frequent as you and Gabriel.”
“So that’zz your problem!” She grins, jabbing him with a bony finger. “You need to get laid.”
“He’s quite soft, he doesn’t do well with frequent, er… activity.” He quips, shaking his head.
“Your job is temptation, right?”
“Well, sure.”
“Then tempt him, you idiot!”
“But…” Crowley entertains this thought a moment, then makes a face. “But he’s so soft…”
“A little too zzoft, if you ask me.” Beelzebub rolls her eyes.
“He’s an Angel!” He scowls. “They’re soft by disposition!”
“No, I think yourzz is juzzt a zzpecial case.” She rolls her eyes, her finger tracing over the rim of her glass. “I must’ve mizzed that model.”
“Gabriel was just designed to be an ass.” Crowley huffs.
The Prince’s eyes go a bit hazy, and quite possibly… dreamy? “He does have a nice azz.”
“Oooh… was that an emotion?” The demon gasps in mock surprise. “Does the great Lord Beelzebub have feelings?”
She scowls into her drink. “Zzilence, imbecile.”
“I’m impressed,” he coos, leaning forward and looking over his glasses at her, eyes dancing with mischief. “Are you going soft, Bee?”
“I’ll zzmite you.” She says flatly, eyeing him.
“I’m already damned.” He snorts, leaning back and picking up his drink again.
“You’re a damned fool, that’zz what you are.”
“Perhaps,” he muses, looking up at the TV in the corner, following the sport with hazy eyes.
“I don’t see how Aziraphale puts up with you.”
He glares at her. “He — He loves me, thank you very much. He’s a very good individual.”
“How quaint.” Beelzebub drawls, rolling her eyes.
Crowley eyes her shrewdly, pursing his lips. Then he huffs. “Tell me about your Gabriel.”
The Prince, who had been taking a sip of her drink, chokes and splutters with a fantastic lack of grace. She wipes her mouth on her sleeve, giving him a deer-in-the-headlights look. “What aboutmy — my Gabriel.”
The demon grins lazily, lifting a shoulder in a half shrug. “I don’t know, anything.”
“Are you asking about my zz— my sex life?” She buzzes, concentrating on her words, metaphorical hackles raised.
“Heavens, no!” Crowley cackles. “I couldn’t care less what you get up to in the bedroom. What I mean is,” he wiggles his eyebrows. “Does he make you feel warm and fuzzy, your highness?”
“What?!” She squawks, flushing darkly, her gaze darting around. “No! Of course not!”
“I’m only kidding, relax.” He laughs. There was no need to suffer the wrath of one of Hell’s finest. “But really, what’s it like? Do you get along?”
“We get along well enough.” The Prince offers reluctantly. “He’s quite affectionate.”
“Is he?” That was hard to believe.
“Oh, yezz.” She nods, chewing on her lower lip. “Alwayzz wanting to touch me. He likes teazzing, too. The brat.”
That was shocking. Beelzebub was a prickly little thing. Many a demon had lost fingers for even brushing against her accidentally. “Is that so?” He muses, then gives her a wicked grin. “I’ll bet you love it.”
“You can’t prove that.” She says hotly into her drink.
He snorts. “No, suppose I can’t. Does he come into Hell to see you or do you go Upstairs?”
“What, you think I’d go up to that blasted place?” She scowls. “He comes to me. As he should.”
“How odd,” Crowley raises an eyebrow. “Gabriel doesn’t seem to be the type to come to Hell willingly.”
“He’zz quite willing when I’m through with him.” Beelzebub chuckles. “Angels are rather good bottomzz, aren’t they? Or does your Aziraphale step up?”
“What?” The demon laughs. “No, he doesn’t have an ounce of dominance in him! Although he is quite loud.”
“Yours is loud? Unfair.” She whines.
“It took some coaxing,” Crowley says smugly, unable to help feeling a tad superior. “But it was worth the effort.”
“I’ll take that into conzzideration.” She muses. “Although Gabriel isn’t as zzoft as your Angel.”
“Yes, Aziraphale is quite a soft boy.” He says fondly.
“Gabriel is a little piece of shit boy.” Beelzebub groans. “Speaking of — they should’ve been done by now. What’zz taking zzo long?”
“I don’t know.” He wrinkles his nose. “Maybe they’ll be here soon.”
“They better be.” The Prince mutters, squinting at the clock.
*
Aziraphale and Gabriel walked into the bar they had left their Demons in to find them drunk and getting along… alarmingly well.
“An’ then I said… I said…” Crowley was slurring. He looks up just in time to lose his train of thought and brightens, looking more like an excited puppy than a fearsome demon. “Aziraphale!”
“Heeeeey — it’zz the piece of shit boy!” Beelzebub crows, in a loud and loose fashion that was definitely nothing like her usual disposition.
“Oh, dear,” says Aziraphale, “they’re quite drunk.”
“Wonderful,” Gabriel says, his expression pinched.
“What did you get into, love?” Aziraphale asks fondly, walking over and steadying Crowley when he reaches for his Angel.
“Nothin’.” He gives him a dopey grin, his eyes shining from behind his glasses, which were knocked askew.
“Gabriel!” The Prince snaps. “Get your bitch azz over here!”
“There’s no need to be rude, Beelzebub.” The Archangel sighs, walking over to his own mess of a demon.
Crowley was looking up at Aziraphale like he’d hung the bloody moon, a dopey, drunken smile on his lips. The Angel chuckles softly, cupping his face and brushing his thumbs over his cheeks lovingly. “I think you’re quite drunk, my love.”
“Psshhh,” Crowley wobbles in his seat, waving a hand and accidentally swatting Aziraphale. “Naw… Jus’ a lil — hic — a lil…” He trails off, getting distracted by the smattering of freckles across the Angel’s nose. “Hmm…”
Meanwhile, Gabriel was in a similar position, trying to persuade Beelzebub it was time to go home as well.
“You alwayzzzzz… alwayzzz ruin my fun,” she pouts up at her Angel, her dark eyes bleary and her cheeks flushed from drink.
“I believe you have plenty of fun on your own, Bee.” He sighs, prying her off the barstool and slinging her over his shoulder. “Come on. Bedtime.”
“See you next year, Gabriel,” Aziraphale calls after them. “And, er… Good luck.”
“Thanks.” He sighs over the Prince’s drunken giggling. “You as well.”
The Angel turns his attention back to Crowley, who’s eyelids were slipping shut as he sagged against the counter. Aziraphale pays the tab, adding a hefty tip for the troubles the demons likely caused.
“Come on, my love,” he says as he helps his demon off the barstool. “Until next year.”
“Next year…” Crowley agrees, stumbling along as his Angel takes him home to tuck him into bed and nurse his impending hangover away.
Air Shiro is back in action!!
Slav pronouncing US states
Just a heads up, in case some of my works cut off. I'm always on AO3, at Renegade_Reaper
Since you couldn’t take out fanfic writers with the purge so you’re just fucking up formatting for text posts until they leave? Is that your plan?
How do you do THAT!?!?!
You’re?!?!?
Creating worlds?!?!
Out of words!?!?!
FREAKING GODS AND GODDESSES?!?!??
WHAT!!?!?????
THATS SO AMAZINGLY AWESOME!!!!!!
beginning to suspect that if I ever want to have a published novel I will have to actually write a novel, which is frankly ghoulish
- what time it is
- how long you’ve been reading
- how many chapters you’ve covered in the last 24 hours
- what you were late for because you were reading
- the woeful few hours you have left to sleep
- the emotional outbreaks you’re experiencing
- the inappropriate place you’re having said outbreak
- the general public’s reaction to your outbreak
- how much phone battery you have left
“No way,” Keith whispers, staring down at the test. It was the third test he’d taken. Tests couldn’t be wrong three times, right? “No way!”
There’s a knock on the bathroom door. “Keith?” Comes the voice of his worried alpha. “Is everything okay? You’ve been in there for a long time.”
The omega jumps into action, grabbing all the evidence off the counter and shoving it into the drawer they hardly touched, except to throw random bathroom related crap in. “I’m fine!”
“Are… you sure? If you need help, I can-”
“No!” Keith yelps, too quickly. He winces, closing the drawer carefully. He didn’t need to give Lance any clues. There was no way his alpha was going to find out he was pregnant like this. They had been trying for well over a year - this had to be absolutely special! Taking a test and showing it to him was good, but… Not enough.
The omega opens the door, abruptly stopping himself from colliding with Lance’s chest. He clears his throat, tilting his head up slightly to look at him. “Uh. Hi.”
“Hey,” his mate’s eyebrow quirks, a smile tugging the corner of his lips up. “What’re you up to?”
“...Nothing.” Keith smiles innocently. “I’m gonna go out for a bit, okay?”
Lance blinks. “Oh. I can come with you, if you want…”
“Nope!” Keith grins, leaning up and giving him a kiss. “No, you stay here. It’s your night to make dinner and laundry needs to be done. I’ll be back in a couple hours, tops.”
“Babe,” the alpha whines, catching him by the waist and ducking his head to kiss the side of his face. Keith leans into the attention for a moment, then huffs and gently pulls away from his mate. Lance’s pathetic, sad noise is almost enough to make him stay. But if he stayed, he would crack and tell him the news.
Definitely not. Lance deserved the world. This was going to be a celebration. “Don’t ‘babe’ me,” Keith laughs, swatting his hip as he maneuvers himself around his mate. “I’ll be back soon! This isn’t the end of the world.”
“I’m gonna die!” Lance huffs dramatically, trailing after him.
Keith rolls his eyes, grabbing his keys and slipping into his shoes. “I highly doubt that you’re going to die, Lance.”
“I could! I could waste away from lack of exposure to… to…”
“To?” Keith repeats, throwing an amused look over his shoulder.
“I dunno,” he admits, sheepish, rubbing his neck. “Your scent? Your presence? All of you?”
“You’re sweet, but I’m still going out. Don’t burn the house down while I’m gone.”
The alpha perks up. “Will you come back if I burn it down?”
Keith whirls around, pointing at him. “I swear to God, Lance McClain, if I come back to find my perfectly good house burnt to the ground, I will sell you to the freaking gypsies.”
Lance blinks owlishly at him. “Do gypsies even exist anymore?”
“I will find some! Behave yourself.” He huffs, unlocking the front door. “I’ll be back. I love you.”
“Love you, too! Text me when you’re on the way home.”
Keith smiles, closing the door behind him and walking to his car. Now to find a baby store…
*
Two hours was definitely not enough. Keith got lost in the giant baby supply store, pushing a cart around and staring in awe at all of the tiny clothes. Were babies really that small? There was no way he had ever been so tiny. Well, okay, he wasn’t very big now - but that was the whole secondary gender thing.
The smells in this place were very overwhelming. He needed to find something that didn’t attack his senses and made him calm. He wanted their baby to smell good and be comfortable as well. So Keith found a small hippo stuffed animal. The body was a grey and blue blanket, fuzzy and soft smelling.
Keith also found a tiny green onesie with “If you think I’m cute, you should see my daddy” on it in big black letters. He figured it was the cutest way to tell Lance that they were expecting. Plus their baby was going to have two daddies - they were going to have to fight for the title of cutest dad. For now, it could be Lance. For now.
“Did you find everything alright?” The clerk at the checkout counter asks, delicately folding the items and ringing him up.
Keith smiles, nodding. “I did, thanks.”
“I hope you don’t mind if I ask, but how far along are you?”
The omega blushes. “Oh, um… I just found out today. I wanted to tell my mate and make it special. We’ve been trying for a really long time, and… now I’m here.” He beams.
The clerk smiles brightly. “Congratulations! If you two want to come back and sign up for our registry later into the pregnancy, I’d be happy to help you. I hope everything goes well tonight!” She hands him the bag.
“Thank you,” Keith grins. “Have a good day.”
The next stop is for an ironic card (there was already going to be so much sap, he didn’t want to overload it with more) and a bag to wrap everything in. He was honestly so excited - he even stopped to wrap everything in the store parking lot and sign the card.
When he got home, the porch lights were already on and dinner was made.
“I’m home,” he calls, carefully setting the sleek black bag aside so Lance wouldn’t see it quite yet.
“In the kitchen,” Lance calls. The omega slides his shoes off, creeping into the kitchen and setting the bag on the dining room table as he passes.
“Hey,” he greets, walking over and wrapping his arms around his back, nestling his face into the top of his spine. “Sorry I was out for so long.”
“That’s alright.” Lance smiles, turning off the stove. “Did you have fun?”
“I did.” He hums, rubbing his cheek on the scent glands on the back of his neck, purring softly. Lance smelled like home. Clean laundry and Hispanic spices and the aftershave he used. He smiles against his skin. Finally, their home was going to be growing in size.
“Is dinner ready?” He asks, pulling away and happily accepting the kiss Lance gave him.
“Not quite yet.” The alpha sets the lid on the pot. “It still has about twenty minutes.”
Keith bounces on the balls of his feet. He couldn’t keep this in anymore- he was going to explode. “I have something for you.” The words come out in a rush of breath, and he sucks in another.
Lance chuckles, looking down at him, his ocean blue gaze fond. “Is that where you went? Keith, our anniversary isn’t for another three months, and our birthdays have already passed.”
“No, just- come with me.” He takes his mate’s hand, tugging him into the dining room and flipping on the light. He waves in the direction of the bag. “That’s for you. You should definitely open it.”
“If I must,” he sighs dramatically, laughing when Keith squawks, affronted. “I’m kidding! Come sit with me while I open it.”
“Duh,” the omega mumbles, trying to contain himself. It was very difficult. The excitement was literally boiling inside him, ready to explode like a pressure cooker if Lance didn’t hurry himself up and open that stupid bag. “Hurry!”
“Okay, okay!” Lance laughs, sitting down and pulling out the white tissue paper. “Really, babe, you didn’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I did.” Keith grins, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table.
Lance shakes his head, smiling, and sets the tissue paper aside. “Okay, let’s see… card first? That’s how you usually do it, right..?”
“No,” Keith shakes his head. “Not the card. That’s last.”
The alpha snorts. “Yes, dear. Got it. What’s even in here..? Oh, look, it’s green.” He reaches in, pulling out the onesie. It unfolds in his hand and he blinks. Keith grins, bouncing in his seat, watching as the cogs slowly start turning in his mate’s brain.
Lance stares at the little outfit, his eyes widening. He scans the words once. Then twice. Then another time. “Keith?” He squeaks, looking over at his mate.
The omega grins, waving a hand. “Keep going! There’s more stuff.”
It takes hardly any time for Lance to pull out the little plushy and the card (which read “who is a dad?” on the outside, and “you. You is a dad.” on the inside. Along with a cute little heart and an I love you from Keith). It was obvious the alpha was rushing, because once the contents of the bag were all on the counter, Lance turns all his attention on the omega.
“You’re pregnant?” He breathes, leaning forward and holding onto his hands.
“Yeah,” Keith answers, amused. “I would’ve thought that was obvious by the baby clothes and card.”
“You’re pregnant.” He whispers, dropping to his knees in front of him. Keith blinks, looking down as his mate wraps his arms around his waist and nuzzles his belly. “When did you find out?”
“Today. When you knocked on the bathroom door.” Keith chuckles, carding his hand through Lance’s hair. “I wanted to do something special.”
“We’re going to have a baby,” Lance sniffs, leaning forward and kissing his belly, dropping his head on his thigh and looking up at Keith.
“Yeah.” The omega blushes. “Finally. After all those stupid treatments and trying for so long.”
“It was so worth it,” Lance grins. “I told you that you weren’t defective. I knew we could do it. We should schedule a doctors appointment - check everything out and make sure you and the baby are both healthy.”
“Lance, I literally just found out.” He huffs.
“So? I want both of you to be safe. I want to protect both of you.”
“Sap.” Keith coos, tugging him back up and pulling him into a kiss, cupping Lance’s cheeks. “I love you.” He murmurs against his lips.
“I love you, too.” Lance sniffs. “I’m definitely going to tell everyone about this after the doctor’s appointment.”
“I expected you to.” Keith laughs, pulling away and pecking his forehead. “That’s alright. My alpha has to gloat a little bit.”
The alpha puffs himself up, grinning. “Hell yeah. Gotta show my beautiful mate off. Look at you go. You’re growing a human inside you.”
Keith grins, his instincts preening happily. Yes. Yes, he was. Their baby. He was finally, finally starting their family.
The two curl up on the couch to eat dinner, talking and laughing. Keith ends up laying on Lance’s chest, his mate brushing his fingers over his sides and back, cooing to him. The omega falls asleep like that, content and happy to start the next chapter of their life exactly like this.
*
Hey guys! This is the sequal to Unconditional. The fandom is making me kinda sad lately, so I wanted to post some cuteness to cheer myself (and hopefully some of you guys) up. Come tell me what you thought of s7! Let me know if I can write anything to cheer you up/make you happier than you already are!
Oh my gosh!!!! This is so beautiful thank you so much 🥰😭
This is based off of the fic “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by @renywrites which had this cool idea of a rainbow world and a monochrome world! I tried drawing chibi and then I’m like screw it, and made them more animal crossing inspired instead.
me @ AO3
A commission for @waffleironbiddingwar, a scene out of “out of the darkness (then we supercollide)”. In which Crowley, Aziraphale, and Lenore are out and about in a farmer’s market
⭐️ Commission Info ⭐️ Ko-Fi ⭐️
BLACK LIVES MATTER. FREE PALESTINE. reny | 24 | sometimes a writer | they/she | brown eyed sevika supremacy
244 posts