If You Only Shine Light On Your Flaws, All Your Perfects Will Dim.

sleepover?

using my pookies for lighting study

“Pessimistically speaking, we could break each other's hearts again tomorrow— I know we won't, but even if we did, I vow that I will be immensely grateful for the love that led to that heartbreak until the day that I die. If it's my destiny to end up a statistic, there's no one else I'd rather become a statistic with than you.”

– Colleen Hoover, It starts with us

"I love it when the night sky makes me feel insignificant."

Colleen Hoover | It Ends With Us

[Text ID : "I love it when the night sky makes me feel insignificant."]

I'M CRYING

it happened one summer (brendanpiper) headers. like or reblog if you save/use it. 

hold on i'm busy giving up forever to touch her

“John - do you spoil  Jack and your daughter?”

So my rp blog keeps messing with my format and I can’t reblog anything from it. I thought I’d post it here so it isn’t a headache to read. I headcanon that Marston baby died as a toddler right before the events of rdr 1. That’s why she’s older here. There’s no talk about that though! Also - fun fact. Crayons and Teddy Bears were recent new toys! Finally, Jack canonically talks about “dumping” his parents on multiple occasions. This is when most people moved to the cities. John and Abigail talk about how they’re anxious about the farm and retirement. Anyway. Here it is. Originally posted to @johntheirritatedgunslinger my rp blog. Send me questions, ideas, hcs about a happy and alive Marston baby and I’ll write it! I have a weakness for John being a good father.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ John rocked the sleeping bundle lying against his chest. Her dark curls moving shifting as he breathed. “ I don’t think I do,” John answered earnestly.

“Abigail and I don’t often argue anymore, but this is one of the few things we do argue about. She says I’m not soft enough towards the boy. Showing him enough love and all that. She’s wrong. I try. I really do. Jack hasn’t wanted anything to do with me since he was around seven. All the stress of us moving around. Me trying but constantly failing to build a better home. Abigail’s frustration bleeding on to him. I’m not saying she turned him against me - but he always takes her side. Like the incident at Pronghorn. We would have been homeless if I didn’t step in.

What kind of father would I be then? I was damned no matter what I did. He’s fifteen now. He doesn’t want to be held - he’s far too old anyway. He doesn’t want to play cards. Or fish. Or hunt. Or shoot. He just wants to read.

Then he complains I don’t do anything - yet I’m offerin’ all the time. He tells me he hates me sometimes. Yeah, I know. He’s a teen, but I kind of gave up. I’m the bad guy, no matter what I do.”

He looked down at his three old daughters and smiled. “This one, though? She loves me. Her eyes light up when she sees me. She loves being held. I don’t buy her extra toys. She likes to color, so I’ll occasionally bring her extra paper. We bought her a teddy bear not long ago for her birthday. But we don’t really do much more than that. We don’t have the money.

She likes to follow me around the ranch. Abigail likes to call her Duckie because she follows me around like one. But she does chores. They’re easy ones like dumping feed for the animals or helping with the water. I’m always with her anyway. Jack didn’t do any chores until he was eleven. Every time I tried to get him to do something - Abigail said he needed to study or that she’d handle it. Let a kid be a kid. It’s different with Amelia. I don’t know why. I guess Abigail doesn’t want her becoming entitled.” he said with a laugh. He loved Abigail. He loved Jack - but sometimes, there was some hypocrisy.

“Alright. You caught me. Sometimes I sneak her cheese. It’s her favorite food. Sometimes, when Abigail goes out of town with Jack, I let her sleep in our bed. “  John shrugged.

“She’s three. Is there anything so wrong about that? I love her. I feel like I’ve done something right with her. She’s my chance for redemption. I’m not super religious, but God gave her to me. He gave me Jack. I’m doing what I can with him, but I was there from the very beginning with this one.” He said fondly as he booped her nose.

“I’d do anything for her. For Jack. For Abigail. But one day, it hurts me to think that she won’t want to sit on my lap anymore. She won’t ask Papa to come to help her. In the blink of an eye, she’ll be married. Have children of her own. Maybe she’ll take over the farm! She likes animals.  Jack has already talked about how he can’t wait to go to college and leave us. It is what it is.” He said with a sigh.

“Maybe Abigail is right. She has my heart wrapped around her little finger. If anything. Anything. Ever happened to her. You bet there’s hell to pay.” He said severely, suddenly feeling out of breath. Amelia yawned and scooched up to his chin. “Hi, Papa.” she whispered sleepily. “Hey, Darlin’,” John whispered back. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “That’s scruffy, Papa!” she squealed. John laughed. “ I think it’s time we put you to bed. I hope that answers your question. Goodnight!” John said, tipping his head. “Bye! “ the little night-gowned girl waved.

I love Miss Grimshaw and I think she does a lot of good. However, the way she treats some of the girls in camp is abhorrent. Most of the girls can handle themselves against her, but she’s still cruel. Honestly, I think outside of Grimshaw hitting the girls and that questionable comment about Tilly - this is the cruelest thing Grimshaw has done. To force a woman back into prostitution and then THREATEN her when she says no?  Disgusting of Grimshaw.

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