Rienextdoor - Rie

Post 1

she watered the flowers inside her, she thought it's beautiful until it made her hard to breathe

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. When you are born a lotus flower, be a beautiful lotus flower, don't try to be a magnolia flower. If you crave acceptance and recognition and try to change yourself to fit what other people want you to be, you will suffer all your life. True happiness and true power lie in understanding yourself, accepting yourself, having confidence in yourself.

— Thích Nhất Hạnh

Sasha Chorny, tr. by Bernard Meares, from “A Drunkard’s Nocturnes,” c. 1910

The story after they threw you away. – Lukas W.

new realizations and sweeping feelings around old trauma does not mean you're more broken than you thought you were, if anything it means you're more healed than you may have noticed. pain does not show up in full until your being believes that your mind and body has the capacity to hold, process and move through it

““I thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.””

—

“Someone somewhere is searching for you in every person they meet.”

— Unknown

Life Lately

 I turned 18 in October last year. I graduated high school this June and I’m starting college on September.

I didn’t get to apply to my dream school in the city. My parents think that I will prioritize going to rallies and mobs instead of focusing on my studies. They’re not confident that they would be able to support me too.

Two days before my high school graduation, I received emails from two universities. One from a private university in my mom’s home province, where I wanted to take legal management on, and one from a state university where I will be taking a course where I do not really see myself in.

Some of my friends are going to take the program they’re interested in. Some of them will move to different cities and pursue the program they want, start a new life. I want what they have. I wish I could be in better circumstances but I know I have no choice but deal with the cards I was given.

Lately, my life feels stagnant. I have been pressuring myself too much, which I know is not good, but I don’t know what to do. I feel like the world is moving too fast and I could not catch up. Like I’m falling behind.

I also have a lot of worries lately. I failed a test on a job I was applying for. I was looking forward to get in because it will help financially. I know that I’m incoming freshman but I want to start saving up for the future.

With everything I’m feeling, I should learn how to take it easy. I should not be worrying. I’m young, I have a lot of time. I know I shouldn’t use my present worrying too much about adulting and the future. But at some point, I feel like I’m too old to be wasting time. 

i could be his controversially young girlfriend.. just sayin

that gray streak 🥹