“I’d Like To Know Your Intentions. How Safe Is It For Me To Fall In Love With You?”

my jaw dropped (in preparation)

I’m so fucked

Yesterday someone told me, “Your star is still rising. Perhaps it’s headed for a different constellation.” and....... I need a moment

“Yes, you are. And I know one day, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few years, maybe in a few decades- you'll look back on everything and smile. Because you made it, didn't you? You'll be happy, well, with somebody to love.”

“It'll be you.” Jeongguk whispered. But he knew it wouldn't be.

“Yes it will,” Taehyung replied in a faint whisper, but he knew it wouldn't be him either. Both knew, but didn't say a word. For at the moment, they were at peace.

You know how to love someone, but you don't know how to believe that someone loves you, and that is your tragedy.

done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness demands a sword.

It's hard being an INFJ

(Note: may not relate to all INFJs)

We are rare and of course that is something to be proud of and sure we always make people happy but… doesn’t mean we are always happy.

We are known as old souls because of multiple reason. We are loners, we love learning… etc. It’s hard for us to make friends. Sure we like to solve other people’s problems but, we find it difficult to find someone who understands US and the problems WE face.

I have faced where I want to meet other people although I am shy because I always felt whenever I talk to someone that… I guess it’s as if they don’t understand. I always felt like I was on a searching hunt for a friend who relates to me. My best friend is a ENFP which are total opposites which makes us the best of friends and although I have her as my BFF, I always end up feeling alone and alienated in this world.

Another thing is, when I have feelings about something, they are deep. If I am sad, I cry until I cannot shed anymore tears and sometimes I end up getting a bloody nose from crying so hard. If I get mad, I would scream and shout if I could but, one thing I do is that I never show it in public. I always held in my emotions and waited until I was in a place where I could be alone so I could express that emotion.

Apparently there is this thing called “The INFJ Door Slam” and as I read of it, I found it to be true. If a person keeps hurting my emotions, I won’t be able to stand it and I admit, I wish I was stronger enough to tolerate it. Instead we try to confront the person about the problem and if they won’t listen, BAM! Instant door slam meaning, I cut all ties from that person to feel no more emotional pain and the reason why I say it’s true is because I have faced that first handedly.

I hate attention. Like, I guess I just want some friends who will just appreciate what I do but, I don’t expect this whole festival for me as they do this dancing ceremony for me. A nice thank you would be enough. I don’t know about the other INFJ’s but I get very awkward around people who give me presents. Like, I do appreciate it but, I always have the urge of thinking that I have to give them a gift back to thank them for the gift they gave me. It’s a confusing cycle.

Another thing, I enjoy being alone instead of an awkward situation and I am very independent but, at the same time, I want to have people in my live that makes me not so lonely and work together with them.

I know that I am the type of person that thinks. I would just stare off and think of all this stuff I never got a chance to think about. A lot of people, when they talk to me, find me more mature for my age. When they first meet me, they think may think I am a few years older then I am (between 2-5 year difference) and then I tell them and complete shock runs through their face. It’s mainly because as a teen, they would never imagine a teenager talking about. For example, everyone I see dates around me. Although I find it adorable, I have no interest in dating at this age because a) I view that I am too young to date and too… I guess too naive to start dating and getting to know someone I might want to marry when I have the difficulty on understanding myself let alone add another person on that plate of emotional reck b) dating is more of getting to know that person to see if you both are… I guess compatible for marriage and I am not ready for any of that like how I said in point a. I would list more but, I’m pretty sure you get the point…

Yeah… that’s some of the things… I don’t think I hit all but, it was me expressing something as a INFJ faces everyday.

oh it's that serious

read literature. be present. make love. make tea. write a poem. cry. watch a sappy movie that makes you want to throw things at it. paint your nails. cook something. call your best friend. learn an instrument. wonder. take a bath. go for a walk. lie down on the grass. listen to the entirety of ur favorite album from 2016. take pics of sunsets. ponder. shamelessly dance in your room. curl up on your bed. make endless wishes to the stars twinkling in the midnight sky. think about nothing. think about everything. think about things so hard that you barely remember what happened moments ago and why you’re feeling the way you do

Post 6

i fixed you while i was bleeding too

I grew up with the guilty sense that a part of me was faking being a child; I was already an old soul. Lots of people are like that, particularly people who become writers, but nobody told me I was not unusual then, so I had to figure it out on my own.

Phillip Lopate (via infpisme)