I Thought (still Think, Sometimes) That I Couldn’t Live Without You. I Thought I Didn’t Know How

Believe that you deserve a future you enjoy. Believe in your ability to transform yourself. No one can do this for you, but yourself– you are the wild card, you are the changemaker, you are your own light.

Sydney Correa, Stop and Smell the Roses: The Little Book of Loving Myself (via inspirationalinsight)

When I'm older...

I’m getting the hell out of my house. I’m getting away from my parents. I’m getting whatever the fuck I want tattooed or pierced if my heart so desires. I’ll go to whatever school I want for college. I’ll live wherever I want. I’ll do what I want. I’ll hopefully meet a good guy that I like. I won’t care for my parents approval. I’ll get married. I’ll raise a good family. I won’t fuck up my family like my parents. I’ll give my family a good life. I’ll do whatever I want to do without criticism and hate. I’ll be myself, not the person my parents want me to be. I WILL BE MY OWN SELF. ME AND ONLY ME

It’s good to grow and learn to be better. But that doesn’t mean your past self was bad or unworthy or anything like that.

Your past self got you through everything, no matter how hard that might have been. And no matter how much you might think you could have done better.

The important thing is you’re here now and even if your past self didn’t do their best, they still survived and got you here.

Why limit yourself between choosing a pretty feminine aesthetic or a dark one? If Persephone can be the Goddess of Spring and the Queen of the Underworld at the same time so can you.

It’s official Jeff doesn’t have Botox and David is the sexiest man alive

I think the best gift I can offer myself is acceptance. Or maybe it's forgiveness. Or maybe it's trusting in my own mind. Or maybe it's all of that, and everything I haven't figured out yet too.

the devils vs. rangers game is 12:30am for me, and canucks vs ducks is at 4am 😃

“Will you be kind enough to let go of my hand for a while and grant me the opportunity to soar freely in my dreams?”

— Lukas W. // Coffee thoughts #181

It's hard being an INFJ

(Note: may not relate to all INFJs)

We are rare and of course that is something to be proud of and sure we always make people happy but… doesn’t mean we are always happy.

We are known as old souls because of multiple reason. We are loners, we love learning… etc. It’s hard for us to make friends. Sure we like to solve other people’s problems but, we find it difficult to find someone who understands US and the problems WE face.

I have faced where I want to meet other people although I am shy because I always felt whenever I talk to someone that… I guess it’s as if they don’t understand. I always felt like I was on a searching hunt for a friend who relates to me. My best friend is a ENFP which are total opposites which makes us the best of friends and although I have her as my BFF, I always end up feeling alone and alienated in this world.

Another thing is, when I have feelings about something, they are deep. If I am sad, I cry until I cannot shed anymore tears and sometimes I end up getting a bloody nose from crying so hard. If I get mad, I would scream and shout if I could but, one thing I do is that I never show it in public. I always held in my emotions and waited until I was in a place where I could be alone so I could express that emotion.

Apparently there is this thing called “The INFJ Door Slam” and as I read of it, I found it to be true. If a person keeps hurting my emotions, I won’t be able to stand it and I admit, I wish I was stronger enough to tolerate it. Instead we try to confront the person about the problem and if they won’t listen, BAM! Instant door slam meaning, I cut all ties from that person to feel no more emotional pain and the reason why I say it’s true is because I have faced that first handedly.

I hate attention. Like, I guess I just want some friends who will just appreciate what I do but, I don’t expect this whole festival for me as they do this dancing ceremony for me. A nice thank you would be enough. I don’t know about the other INFJ’s but I get very awkward around people who give me presents. Like, I do appreciate it but, I always have the urge of thinking that I have to give them a gift back to thank them for the gift they gave me. It’s a confusing cycle.

Another thing, I enjoy being alone instead of an awkward situation and I am very independent but, at the same time, I want to have people in my live that makes me not so lonely and work together with them.

I know that I am the type of person that thinks. I would just stare off and think of all this stuff I never got a chance to think about. A lot of people, when they talk to me, find me more mature for my age. When they first meet me, they think may think I am a few years older then I am (between 2-5 year difference) and then I tell them and complete shock runs through their face. It’s mainly because as a teen, they would never imagine a teenager talking about. For example, everyone I see dates around me. Although I find it adorable, I have no interest in dating at this age because a) I view that I am too young to date and too… I guess too naive to start dating and getting to know someone I might want to marry when I have the difficulty on understanding myself let alone add another person on that plate of emotional reck b) dating is more of getting to know that person to see if you both are… I guess compatible for marriage and I am not ready for any of that like how I said in point a. I would list more but, I’m pretty sure you get the point…

Yeah… that’s some of the things… I don’t think I hit all but, it was me expressing something as a INFJ faces everyday.

Life Lately

 I turned 18 in October last year. I graduated high school this June and I’m starting college on September.

I didn’t get to apply to my dream school in the city. My parents think that I will prioritize going to rallies and mobs instead of focusing on my studies. They’re not confident that they would be able to support me too.

Two days before my high school graduation, I received emails from two universities. One from a private university in my mom’s home province, where I wanted to take legal management on, and one from a state university where I will be taking a course where I do not really see myself in.

Some of my friends are going to take the program they’re interested in. Some of them will move to different cities and pursue the program they want, start a new life. I want what they have. I wish I could be in better circumstances but I know I have no choice but deal with the cards I was given.

Lately, my life feels stagnant. I have been pressuring myself too much, which I know is not good, but I don’t know what to do. I feel like the world is moving too fast and I could not catch up. Like I’m falling behind.

I also have a lot of worries lately. I failed a test on a job I was applying for. I was looking forward to get in because it will help financially. I know that I’m incoming freshman but I want to start saving up for the future.

With everything I’m feeling, I should learn how to take it easy. I should not be worrying. I’m young, I have a lot of time. I know I shouldn’t use my present worrying too much about adulting and the future. But at some point, I feel like I’m too old to be wasting time.