Latest Posts by rienextdoor - Page 5
I can’t change where I come from or what I’ve been through, so why should I be ashamed of what makes me, me?
Angie Thomas, The Hate U Give (via resqectable)
Life Lately
I turned 18 in October last year. I graduated high school this June and I’m starting college on September.
I didn’t get to apply to my dream school in the city. My parents think that I will prioritize going to rallies and mobs instead of focusing on my studies. They’re not confident that they would be able to support me too.
Two days before my high school graduation, I received emails from two universities. One from a private university in my mom’s home province, where I wanted to take legal management on, and one from a state university where I will be taking a course where I do not really see myself in.
Some of my friends are going to take the program they’re interested in. Some of them will move to different cities and pursue the program they want, start a new life. I want what they have. I wish I could be in better circumstances but I know I have no choice but deal with the cards I was given.
Lately, my life feels stagnant. I have been pressuring myself too much, which I know is not good, but I don’t know what to do. I feel like the world is moving too fast and I could not catch up. Like I’m falling behind.
I also have a lot of worries lately. I failed a test on a job I was applying for. I was looking forward to get in because it will help financially. I know that I’m incoming freshman but I want to start saving up for the future.
With everything I’m feeling, I should learn how to take it easy. I should not be worrying. I’m young, I have a lot of time. I know I shouldn’t use my present worrying too much about adulting and the future. But at some point, I feel like I’m too old to be wasting time.
haven’t posted in a while. a lot of things happened.
in december, i reunited with some of my friends when i was in 6th grade and i started talking to my first love / boyfriend again. we kept in touch for the past six years, and in february, he met my parents. twelve days later, i asked him to be my boyfriend.
i graduated from high school. i spend my last two years doing stuff online and not actually going to school to study and meet my teachers and classmates but still, it was a good two years. putangina mo, duterte. kasalanan mo kung bakit nagkakanda leche leche ang pilipinas mula 2020.
i also got disowned by my mother (now birth giver) when i said i wanted a different college program but as much as i wanted to pursue that i can’t bc idk how will i be able to support myself financially. i’m about to enroll to a uni here in our province and take psychology.
this is a random realization but i realized that when i got a boyfriend, i forgot what it’s like to be alone. i now have someone to share my sadness and happiness with, someone to celebrate my small victories. i now have someone to share love with and honestly, it’s one of the best feelings in the world. our relationship is not perfect, it will never be, but i’m glad it’s him i work things out with. i love him dearly.
I was interested in everything and committed to nothing.
(via amargedom)
Imagine not reinventing yourself with each piece of writing you read
i agree that happiness is a choice but i have also realized that not everyone has happiness in their options
i want to leave and go wherever lonely souls continue to grieve for the loss of the things they never had in the beginning
just a late night spill of sadness
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
(via amargedom)
“Because you are empty you hold space. Inescapable, you are always escaping me.”
— Rodger Kamenetz, from “The Poetry Pure,” Yonder (Lavender Ink, 2018)
“her eyes make me believe Icarus knew the risks”
— vodkaisthatyou
“And maybe in forty-something years, we’ll be living in a house across the sea. You’ll be 62, and I’ll be 63. I’ll be the one painting your fingernails because by then you’ll be having arthritis in your hands even if I’ll be having arthritis in my hands too. We’ll be sitting in front of the ocean for a little while when all we can do is hold hands and how holding hands can still count as making love. We’ll be holding hands whenever one of us remembers our sad youth. We’ll be holding hands whenever one of us remembers a regret, a mistake and none of it will really matter because by then we’d still have each other. We’ll be holding hands until the end of our golden days as we love each other so gently to teach our grandchildren how love is a kind of soft chaos that dances for all eternity. We’ll be holding hands while soft dancing our way towards nothingness until it’s finally time for one of us to let go knowing how love was always meant to be.”
— juansen dizon, Grow old with you
Wine isn’t strong enough. It’s blood I want.
Henry Miller; A Literate Passion, the Letters of Anaïs Nin and Henry Miller
“And so I pray for you. Because, that’s all I can do now.”
— تغ
“Yes, you are. And I know one day, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few years, maybe in a few decades- you'll look back on everything and smile. Because you made it, didn't you? You'll be happy, well, with somebody to love.”
“It'll be you.” Jeongguk whispered. But he knew it wouldn't be.
“Yes it will,” Taehyung replied in a faint whisper, but he knew it wouldn't be him either. Both knew, but didn't say a word. For at the moment, they were at peace.
let our sins consume us
in love with my current layout
Love who you love while you have them. That’s all you can do. Let them go when you must. If you know how to love, you’ll never run out.
Ann Brashares, My Name Is Memory (via thebookquotes)
There is love in holding and there is love in letting go.
Elizabeth Berg (via sunsetquotes)
“do not fall in love with people like me. i will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. i will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. and when i leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.”
— caitlyn siehl
Why limit yourself between choosing a pretty feminine aesthetic or a dark one? If Persephone can be the Goddess of Spring and the Queen of the Underworld at the same time so can you.
Links to help educate yourself on the Anti Asian Violence
these are only a few links so if you have anymore and wish to add anything on please do
Reporting Hate Crimes
Report A Hate Incident against Asian Americans / Pacific Islanders
Stand Against Hatred: Report Now
Education Links
The long history of US racism against Asian Americans, from ‘yellow peril’ to ‘model minority’ to the ‘Chinese virus’
The long history of racism against Asian Americans in the U.S.
The Diversity of Asian Cultures
Bystander Intervention Training
Virtual Tour of Wing Luke Museum of the Asian Pacific American Experience
Asian-American Experience, Issues, and Resources
Articles on how to help/education
How to support Asian American colleagues amid the recent wave of anti-Asian violence by CNBC
How to help struggling Asian American communities amid coronavirus pandemic by NBC news
i told my mom how i felt like shit when my cousins made fun of my insecurities and she told me that i should grow up and not be offended bc it was a joke lol idk anymore
“It was not the feeling of completeness I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty.”
—
please don't go but don't come too close
“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place because you’ll never be this way ever again.”
— Azar Nafisi; Reading Lolita in Tehran
“My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn’t go as planned, and that’s okay.”
— Rachel Wolchin
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. When you are born a lotus flower, be a beautiful lotus flower, don't try to be a magnolia flower. If you crave acceptance and recognition and try to change yourself to fit what other people want you to be, you will suffer all your life. True happiness and true power lie in understanding yourself, accepting yourself, having confidence in yourself.
— Thích Nhất Hạnh
USE HEADPHONES 🌠