Sir That's My Emotional Support Rat Bastard

me after brushing my teeth and washing my face: I hope nonbinary jesus jonathan van ness is proud of me now

A TV series about the early Roman emperors, except:

It's a comedy.

It starts with Julius Caesar (who keeps correcting the narrator that he's a dictator, not an emperor, as if it makes any difference).

The narrator skips over military campaigns like the Gallic War and Claudius' conquest of Britain in favor of "Haha check out Augustus' shitty poetry" and "Caesar once tried to overthrow the republic with a wardrobe malfunction."

You can tell the narrator gets bored of certain emperors because he keeps going off on tangents about Julius and Augustus after they're supposed to be dead.

The characters get frustrated because they're trying to act out a serious drama but nooo the narrator would rather gossip and it's only 50% in chronological order.

Some of the characters start pointing out things the narrator says that are physically impossible, don't make logical sense, or which their enemies made up.

Tiberius storms out partway through his episode and the rest of the narrative has him played by a sock puppet voiced by Caligula doing a falsetto.

Caligula attempts to sic the Praetorian guards on the narrator for making up filthy lies about him. Like, he's still a huge dick, just not in the way the narrator claims.

Claudius just wants to teach the audience cool facts about the Etruscans but the narrator talks over him.

Nero is actually a Korean boy band singer who keeps trying to explain to people he's a musician, not the emperor, and isn't sure what he's doing in ancient Rome. No one listens.

Galba is played by Rob Halford, the "stately homo of heavy metal."

Galba, Otho and Vitellius have to share an episode, and even then the narrator half-asses it and leaves with 10 minutes of runtime to fill, at which point the characters (including the dead ones) break into the production studio and reveal the narrator is Suetonius.

I don’t know how we’re letting trump get away with all this shit when I truly believe that if you threw a blanket over his head he would think it was nighttime and go to sleep like a bird

Bisan's recent post. I think it's important for you to read it. Tonight 03.12.23, journalists in gaza share their last messages. There are no words to describe the horrors unfolding in gaza right now.

I no longer have any hope of survival like I had at the beginning of this genocide, and I am certain that I will die in the next few weeks or maybe days. I have been sick with severe viral infection for days and cannot move from the mattress!

I suffer from nightmares that are so closely resemble reality that I no longer differentiate between reality and dream.

I live in a world other than the one I claimed to be building! I am a community activist who lived on the fantasy that the world was free and just, and I sought to bring rights not only to my people, but to many men and women in third world countries!

I was shocked that I was not from the third world! Indeed, we are the most humane and moral! Yes, because the world approves, supports, and finances the genocide we are being subjected to, legislates it, and gives reasons for for 58 days! While we are a people who have been living on occupied land for 75 years and are still searching for our rights and communicating our voice to the world!

My message to the world: You are not innocent of what is happening to us, you as governments or peoples that support Israel’s annihilation of my people. We will not forgive you, we will not forgive you, humanity will not forgive you, we will not forget, even if we die, the history will never forget .

A Message to friends: Thank you and the supporters around the world. You have been compassionate and very strong. We ask you not to lose hope, even if the world seems completely unfair and your efforts have not yet resulted in a ceasefire.

There is no way of accidentally doing a nazi salute twice in a row while the entire world is watching. This man needs to be killed

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

the seasonal top gun hyperfixation has returned, and you know i ain't worried bout it

He's way too young to lie here forever he's way too old to try so whatever come hang let's go out with a bang

everyone talks about ts eliots the wasteland but y'all sleep on the love song of j. alfred prufrock I swear

general lamarque number 1 gay ally died june 1 for our pride like jesus for our sins!!!! thank you for the support mr lamarque !!!!!