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Smallfoot (2018) dir .kerey kirkpatrick
inspired by @amethystwonders11 ask <3
It had been a few days since the search for Johnathan had ended, and your life had gotten much better with him back in it. You’ve been letting him crash at your apartment since, and life with your new partner was amazing. Except for the fact that he completely took over your office, and had been working on different experiments with varying results in there.
Despite the fires he started and the time he accidentally dropped your favorite plant into a portal to an unknown dimension, you were incredibly grateful for his presence.
You’re taking a nap in your room when you’re woken by a crash. Jumping out of bed, you run to your office and see John stomping out of the room.
“Hey, what’s up?” You ask nervously.
“How can you talk to me like I’m the person I’ve always been? Like I’m not some fucked-up result of a workplace accident that can’t do anything right?” John slams a book on the floor and starts walking away. You frantically run in front of him, trying to stop him from reaching the door.
“What do you mean? You are the person you’ve always been, I don’t c-”
“Cut the bullshit.” John interjects. “You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t-” John tries to step past you but you interrupt his path again.
“You know you can’t stop me, right?” John says, reaching to pull a spot off his body.
“Yes, but the fact that I’m trying to should mean something. Please stay here, please just talk to me.” You insist, eyes watering.
“Talk about what? About how I’m a monster now, about how nobody will look at me, about how I’ve lost everything?”
“You haven’t lost me.”
“Why?” John’s voice wavers.
“Johnny…” You place a hand on his face and stroke his cheek as tears stream down your face. John’s hand slowly reaches up to rest on top of yours and he sighs. He shuffles over to the couch, sitting down and resting his face in his hands.
You hesitantly follow him, sitting down and gently placing your hand on his shoulder. Silently rubbing your thumb in circles, you look at John. Not knowing what to say but feeling a need to break the silence, you open your mouth to speak but are stopped when John’s head crashes into your chest and he tearlessly sobs. After processing what just happened, you wrap your arms tightly around him.
“I’m sorry, I…” John whimpers. You’re not really sure what to do, as you’re still unaware of what caused this, so you just rub his back.
“Johnny, I’m not really sure what’s going on, but… I’m not gonna leave you.”
“But you want to change me,” John interjects.
“What? When did I say that?” You ask, surprised.
“All the time you say that you wish you were there when it happened. You wish that you were there that day so things would be different.”
“I don’t want to change you. I love you no matter what you look like, and quite honestly I find you just as attractive now as I did before. The only reason I wish I was there was so I could have been with you and been there for you. And I wish I was there so I wouldn’t have been without you those months. It’s selfish, but I was alone and had no clue where you were. I thought I had lost the one person I had truly been in love with…” Your sentence trails off as you lift John’s chin with your hand, looking at the spot on his face that was now swirling around the edges. Smaller spots fell off every now and then, looking like tears streaming down his face.
“I’m not gonna leave you. You’re mine and I wouldn’t ask for you any other way than who you are now.” You gently stroke his cheek with your thumb and lean in to gently kiss his forehead. As your lips connect with the skin above his spot, you hear a small whine and you pull back.
“Are you okay?” You ask, worried you did something wrong.
“Yeah, I just…can you do that again?” John asks quietly. A grin spreads on your face and you place another gentle kiss on his forehead, at which John sighs contently.
Deciding that you had lifted his mood enough, you grab his face with both hands and leave small pecks all over. John squeaks and tries to pull away in response, but you assault him with kisses for a moment longer before letting him go. He shakes his head at you before sighing and placing his own hand on your face.
“You’ve always been so good with words. You know exactly what I need to hear. Thank you.” John leans in and nuzzles his head against your cheek, which makes you laugh.
“What was that?”
“Well I can’t really kiss you, unless you want to get pulled into a portal to a random dimension…it’s my compromise.” John offers.
“I love it.”
A/N: this is shorter than i expected and sorry it took so long to get it out :< if i have time i'm gonna add a part 2.5 with smut (if yall want,,, also for myself LMAOO)
Jonathan Ohnn / The Spot x f!reader
rating: explicit. 18+ only. length: 7,381 content: pre and post-incident Jonathan/Spot, reader is described as being shorter than the Spot but everyone is, established relationship, fluff, smut [fingering - receiving, oral - receiving, unprotected p in v], kink(s) [hair pulling, biting, scratching, orgasm control], hurt/comfort, brief obsessive/possessive behavior, this was not edited because I'm lazy summary: of the things he’d lost that day, there was one in particular that weighed on Jonathan's mind like a bad conscience.
"Stop looking at me like that."
You hadn't changed your gaze to look at him, still locked-in on the meticulously organized papers in front of you as you scanned for the patterns and knowledge you needed. From across the table he was slumped forward, his chin resting on his hands as he did exactly that - look at you. It was so often that he needed to do little more than that to pass the time.
"Like what, baby?"
You couldn't help but smile at the false innocence in his voice. He knew what he was doing, he didn't care.
"Like you're just waiting for me to stop," you replied, eyes still locked on the scratches of ink beneath you. "I'm doing important stuff here."
"I'm trying to do important stuff to you."
The kind of embarrassing laugh that was accompanied by a snort left you, your head shaking slightly as you continued your steadfast refusal not to look at him, unwilling to have your concentration broken completely.
"Jonny, seriously," you were trying your best to sound serious and stern, but the smile on your face didn't quite match it. "I'm trying to make sure no one blows up in this deathtrap you're building at work, and your notes are nonsense."
"My notes are perfectly -"
"In the middle of this sentence you just wrote 'banana'," you pointed out, sliding the paper in question across the table and pointing to the word. "Do you know why you did that?"
"Because I needed them from the store."
You laughed again, the sound he was convinced was the most beautiful in the world, your eyes finally raising to return his gaze. When you made eye contact with him it sucked a deep breath from him - he was always struck by you, even after years of knowing you. He'd accepted long ago it would be this way until he died.
You looked annoyed, yet at the same time so profoundly in love he couldn't believe you were looking at him. You laughed again and he took your distraction as his cue to reach across the table, one of his hands laying atop yours gently.
"You're absurd," you stated, punctuating your words with a nod. Your hand flipped beneath his, threading your fingers together as your thumb brushed over his knuckles - the ones you could reach, anyway. "You either make complete sense or you don't make any at all. Black or white."
Sometimes you talked about him like another subject you wanted to figure out. If it meant you'd stay around until you did so, he was content to continue coming up with ways to puzzle you.
"But you chose me, Atom," he replied, reminding you of something that needed no reminder. Your cheeks burned under his special name for you, eyes locking on his as any annoyance left your body. He knew exactly how to melt away any negativity from you.
"Why do you call me that?" you questioned, head tilting slightly to the side in an adorable fashion that always made him love you just a bit more than he had a moment ago. So many things you did caused the reaction from him, and he was happy to continue to add to the list. "Anytime I ask you just smile. I want to know."
Something in the look in your eye and a feeling that now was when he should give you the answer you wanted had the words spilling out of his mouth. Compared to how long you'd waited it was rather unceremonious, but so many things between the two of you had always been as such. Neither of you were incredibly concerned with things being made into a big deal, and now was no different.
You already knew how much he loved you.
"Atoms make up everything," he explained, his hand squeezing yours lightly as he spoke. "You're my everything."
Your eyes softened further as you took in his words, your heart tightening just as his hand had around yours. With a smile you shook your head again, using your other hand to mark your place on the page you'd abandoned.
"How am I supposed to keep reading through this when you say things like that?"
"I could've been the next Shakespeare if I didn't love science so much."
"Did you even take theatre at any point? Or creative writing?"
"No, I took anatomy instead," that cheekiness was returning to his tone, the need heavy in his tone. You raised an eyebrow at his words, already expecting something along the lines of what would come next. "Wanna see what I learned?"
He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, a grin that you loved more than anything in the world spreading across his face as he leaned forward in his seat, waiting for permission to come closer, waiting for you to give in. You couldn't help it when you looked deep into his eyes, seeing how badly he needed you…you had to give him something.
As you nodded he immediately grabbed your chair to move it closer, only for you to reach out and grab the table, clicking your tongue against your teeth.
"Well, I still have to finish reading, don't I?"
"But…"
"Aw, don't pout, Doctor," you cooed, turning your head and leaning to kiss his cheek softly. "I'm sure you can find a way to prove how hard you studied while I finish up."
Yeah, he could.
The security deposit the two of you had put on this apartment was forgotten as he yanked his chair across the wooden floor, settling it right next to yours. As he got comfortable you began your work again, the switch of your own activated - when it was time to focus, you could always be relied upon to do so.
Even when one of his large hands slid across your chest, cupping one of your breasts tenderly. The first touch from him was always cautious and respectful, waiting for you to say a single word of disagreement. You nodded, eyes briefly flickering to his before you focused back in one your task.
Thankful for the oversized v-neck sweater you'd worn today he slid a hand into the soft fabric, mentally thanking you for having removed your bra already when you got home. The soft flesh of your breast felt perfect in his hand as he massaged it tenderly before his attention quickly turned.
His thumb brushed over your nipple gently before circling the sensitive bud, his eyes still focused on your face and searching for any sort of reaction. Even when he pinched not a single sound left you, your face unchanging as you read his words.
And while he wanted to let you focus, he couldn't stand to not hear you at least moan for him.
He abandoned his hold on your breast to hike the knee length skirt you were wearing up around your waist, gently pushing your panties to the side - still somewhat waiting for you to stop him. You didn't, convinced you could outlast him in this little game the two of you were now playing, but honestly not really caring if you lost.
You almost lost completely when he leaned down, his tongue circling your nipple as his index finger circled your clit. You slipped - it was understandable - and a soft moan filled the room, your eyes momentarily falling closed as he sucked your nipple gently before looking back up into your face.
"Well finally," he dragged the final letter out as he pushed his middle finger into you, running his tongue over the same nipple again. "You're so wet already."
"I like reading your work," you confessed in a broken voice, allowing yourself a brief moment to forget your focus. You felt his mouth fall open in shock and the groan that he let out at your words.
"Oh."
He kept his mouth busy, as he often liked to do when you were alone together in various ways, but where he chose to focus his attention on proving his anatomy skills was with his hand. As he pumped his longest finger into you he stroked your walls lovingly, pushing against the spongy spot behind your clit carefully and with the perfect amount of pressure each time.
When he pushed his index finger inside you as well, with ease considering how wet you were now and with a downright pornographic sound he couldn't help but moan as he suckled on your breast.
You were trying to focus still - a remarkable feat, mind you, considering how good his fingers felt pumping into you at this speed and with this amount of care - but one of your hands came up to hold the back of his head, fingers pulling at the messy strands of his hair.
"Jonny…"
Your moan immediately had his attention, his mouth abandoning you so he could flash you a cheeky grin, his cheeks deep red in color and pupils blown wide as he took in your face again.
"Oh, now you want attention?"
You blew a deep breath out of your nose, giving his hair a gentle tug as you met a pump of his fingers with a grind of your hips.
"I only have one more page to make sense of…"
"But…"
"You can wait five minutes…"
"I can't," he whined, his voice ridiculous in this tone but earnest - he really couldn't wait for you much longer before he got excessively needy, but you loved pushing him to the edge sometimes. "I swear to…whatever the hell scientists swear to I can't, my tongue needs to be in you now or I swear…"
You pushed his head upward to claim his lips in a heavy kiss, a heavy groan from him falling against your mouth as you licked across his bottom lip before whispering lightly.
"If you're a good boy and let me finish I'll let you cum in me tonight."
If he wasn't so excited about the promise you'd made he would have been embarrassed by the high pitched moan that he allowed to rip through his chest, instead he could only sit spellbound as you sank your teeth into his bottom lip lightly, pulling back slightly before pulling away entirely. You licked your lips slowly, eyes holding his gaze for a moment before you continued.
"But only if you let me finish, Jonny," you warned, turning your attention back to the documents on the table and releasing your hold on his hair. "D'you think you can manage that?"
"Yes," he promised with a huff, rolling his eyes at the fact he had to wait…he understood your fears about his job but at the moment would insist there were other things that deserved attention. He tentatively pumped his fingers back into you, not even risking a glance at your face now. "But…to clarify, I still want my head between your thighs first."
"Jonny," you warned again, flashing him one last serious look with your eyes, though a light smile played on your lips. He removed his fingers from you with another huff, lifting his hand to wrap his lips around them with an appreciative groan.
Aware of your attention on him again and your mouth falling open he grinned as he released his fingers with a pop, shrugging his shoulders unceremoniously.
"Sorry," it was the fakest use of the word he'd ever used, you were aware of that. "Just speaking my truth."
But he was capable - hell, he had a PhD, he could be patient if he really needed to be…no matter how badly he didn't want to be. No matter how hard his dick was throbbing against the black sweatpants he had chosen to wear around the apartment.
He waited until you started putting the papers back in a neat stack, instead choosing to stand quickly, grabbing you by the waist and leaning down to claim your lips in a hungry, somewhat messy kiss. Thankful you returned his kiss and chose calculated movements to encourage it into something more precise, he focused on turning the two of you until the backs of your thighs were hitting the edge of the table.
"Now," he whined out in a heavy breath. "Need you now. Please, now."
He was begging against your lips as he worked the zipper and button open on your skirt, pushing both it and your panties to the ground and kicking the fabric out of the way in hopeful anticipation. You could feel his hard cock pressed between the two of you and knew he had done the best he could in waiting, but that didn't affect how you loved to tease him still.
"You're ravenous tonight," you pointed out in what could be described as little more than a purr, nipping at his bottom lip again to pull another moan from his chest. He returned the favor before he stood straight - well, straight for him - encouraging you to lay back against the table.
"I'm about to show you how much."
He found his own seat in the chair you had been in and leaned forward as his hands slid to grasp your knees, encouraging your legs apart and baring your dripping sex to him. One of his hands trailed upward and he watched in awe as his fingers glided up and down her soaked folds, back and forth, spreading the slick he had already earned.
He continued this motion, adding in gentle rubs to your clit, as he kissed up your inner thigh, enjoying the soft feeling of your skin against his lips as you moaned at the familiar scratch of his beard.
"Jonny…please…"
"Oh, now who's needy?"
But he didn't tease like you, he wasn't able when it came to you, and it wasn't like he could wait any longer. Before you could blink again he had leaned forward, parting your folds with his tongue as he ran the thick muscle through them, well intent on tasting every inch of you again like it was the first time.
"Oh, you're indescribable," he grumbled against you after he'd flicked his tongue against your clit, glowing as your fingers found their way into his hair again, holding him close. Any complaints you'd ever made about his smart mouth were always forgotten when his tongue was worshipping you.
"Feels so good, Jonny," you moaned breathlessly, pulling his hair to encourage him back to what he had been begging for.
With a deep groan he continued, alternating between sucking on your clit and running his tongue between your folds, filling the apartment with lewd sounds as he slurped at your soaked pussy, ensuring every inch received his attention. He began to fuck his tongue into you, his nose pushing against your clit as he devoured you exactly how you wanted.
And that's how he got his first reward, your walls fluttering around his tongue as you came around him, your vision clouded as your orgasm rushed through you. As you moaned his name and your shaking thighs came closer around his head he didn't stop, instead continuing to lick at your sex like he was already setting out to pull another from you.
Your whines and whimpers of overstimulation filled the room, pulling at his hair as you fought to catch your breath and wiggle. He took the silent instruction and removed his mouth from your core, instead kissing along the thigh that hadn't received any earlier. He couldn't resist in full, though, his index finger slipping through your folds and into your still quivering sex.
"So wet," he cooed, just before he sucked a purple hickey to the inside of your thigh. "My dick's gonna slip right in."
"Please," you whined again, fully aware that now the tables had turned and you were the desperate one. You knew what Jonathan fucked like on nights where he was feeling like this and you were eager to feel him stretch you again, but through your orgasm's lingering haze you weren't sure how constructed of a sentence you could muster.
"Aw, baby, that's so cute," you could hear the smile in his voice and against your skin as he continued to kiss wherever he could reach, his lips now pressing to the hips he loved to grab so much. "Beg a little more for me?"
To be clear, he was asking - not telling.
"Jonathan," you whined, releasing your hold on his hair to instead reach for his shoulders, hoping to encourage him to finish his climb back up your body. You weren't thinking clearly, it was obvious - you may have thought the two of you were in bed but you weren't, and there was no way this old wooden table would support what he was about to do to you. "Please. Oh fuck please just…please. I need you."
"What d'you need?"
Okay, so maybe he could tease a little…he so rarely felt like he had any power in this world and these moments where he had you, the most beautiful woman in the world, at his fingertips were irresistible.
"Want you to fuck me," you whined, heart bursting as he finally gave into you and reached to press his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. His finger was lazily pumping into you still, holding you on the brink of overstimulation - he truly did know exactly what to do to your body.
"You want me to fuck you?" he questioned, a falsely puzzled tone behind his voice. "Or you need me to fuck you?"
"Semantics."
"Say it."
His voice snapped slightly lower, just enough in the way it did when he was trying to communicate his seriousness - something he honestly rarely did with you. He would never yell at you, but that didn't mean he couldn't let you know the gravity behind his words in other ways. He needed you to say it - exactly it, and to accentuate his point, he removed his finger from you altogether.
"I need you to fuck me, Jonny," you begged against his lips, turning slightly to press lazy kisses to the corner of his mouth until you reached lower, kissing his neck in the spot you knew would melt away this dark streak.
He stood up immediately, shoving his sweatpants and boxers down to the floor and kicking them to join your skirt, fisting his cock and rubbing it through your folds to gather the mixture of cum and his spit that lingered between them.
"Don't tease," you whined again, eyes meeting his in a hope to convey your desperation. His other hand reached to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing across the bone before it trailed to your bottom lip, repeating the gentle motion as he quietly shushed you.
He started slipping his painfully hard, leaking cock inch by inch into you, trying to take his time and savor the feeling of each push, but by the time he had sheathed his cock fully in you there was something already unmistakably unhinged about his movements, his hand that had been between your thighs grasping your hip tight.
"Fuck…fuck…" he groaned as he tried to force himself to still for a moment, instead finding he couldn't help but pull completely out and thrust back in roughly, his fingers holding you hard enough to bruise - which honestly, you hadn't been aware he was strong enough to do so until now, and this was far from the first time the two of you had fucked.
"Jonny, o-oh my…"
"Fuck," he groaned out as he continued to thrust into you desperately, his movements hard and a little sloppy as he tried to find a pace he liked. When he finally settled on one he leaned forward to kiss you again, pounding into you with your bodies pressed so close together you could hear obscene sound of his balls slapping against you. "You're so perfect. You're so so so perfect."
You kissed him until you were breathless, repeated moans covering his lips as he continued with the perfect pace to match how feral he felt for you now - quick and hard, almost bruising, desperate to coax you toward another orgasm and earn his own.
You dragged your nails down his back - you might had even drawn a couple of specks of blood with how rough you accidentally slipped into - kissing back down to his mouth as you fought for a desperate breath through moans and mewls. You made a mark of your own on his neck, a spot he would wear with pride for the days it would last on his skin.
"I want you to cum again for me," he managed out between heavy breaths, one of his hands sliding to hold the back of your head gently. "Before….before I…"
"Before you fill me up," you finished for him, your tone breathy and lascivious before you ran your tongue over the hickey you'd just given him.
He moaned - whether it was at your words or tongue didn't matter - and grabbed your hip harder, his pace faltering again into something much for harder and carnal as his mind was overtaken by the idea of spilling his hot load into you.
"Gonna…gonna fill you…" he began muttering promises through breaths and thrusts, any semblance of normal speech pattern forgotten. "So fucking full."
"Please."
"Yeah, baby," he promised, managing to fight through the primal thoughts in his mind to carry out another delicate action, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Know you love it. Go ahead and milk it out of me."
His hold on your head remained as he released your hip, slipping his hand between your bodies instead to rub your clit with purpose, fully intent on not allowing himself release until he felt you spasm around his cock.
With the loudest moan of his name he'd perhaps ever earned you threw your head back, thankful his hand was there to protect it from the hardwood as your vision turned white, the temperature in the room seemingly one-thousand degrees as you clasped your legs around his waist, holding him closer.
His thrusts continued to get sloppier, and when he felt your orgasm approaching a more manageable end, he opted to ask before finding his own release.
"Can I…can I…"
"You owe me two minutes that you interrupted…when I was trying to clean…"
"Baby, no," he begged, his head shaking as he pressed gentle kisses to your cheeks and forehead and nose, hoping his sweet affection would earn him favor. "Oh, please, no…"
"Not yet."
It was a wonder that he could continue fucking you like this with how hard he was, the discomfort and need to cum evident by his begging and whining. When you finally gave him the permission he was seeking his orgasm was immediate - thick, hot ropes of his cum filling you so much it didn't take long for the thick liquid to start leaking out around his cock.
You were both overly sensitive, but that had never stopped him before and it certainly wouldn't now as he continued to drag his half-hard cock through your painted walls, content on doing so until you were a mess, pleading with him that you'd had enough and it was too much.
He listened, removing his cock from your freshly fucked sex and sitting in the chair that waited beneath him, eyes fixated on your leaking cunt. He couldn't resist - three fingers gathered the mixture of fluids that was flowing from your pussy and he pushed it back in with little consideration toward your overstimulation.
You shot up with a gasp, sitting upright just as he removed his fingers again, wasting no time and unwilling to hear complaints as he dove back between your thighs, messily licking and slurping at your hole until he felt enough of your combined releases were on his tongue. He leaned back up, one of his hands coming to the back of your head to pull you down to meet him in a heavy kiss, passing you the thick liquid he held on his tongue and continuing to lick at your mouth as it slid down your throat.
When he broke the kiss for breath his eyes were full of so much love you thought he might break your shared "no marriage" rule and propose.
"I fucking love you," he finally breathed out, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his lap gently to continue the shared moment of pure bliss.
"I love you, Jonny," you promised in return, nuzzling your head against his shoulder as you curled against him. "In every universe."
There was no way for you to know that, and yet, it didn't sound like too much of an impossibility.
"Atom…"
His affectionate tone was matched by the loving way he pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose before he claimed your lips again in the softest kiss of the night, letting you climb out of his lap afterwards knowing there were things to be done after sex.
"'m ordering a pizza before we go to bed," he called after you as you grabbed your sweater from the floor, using your other hand to attempt to run your fingers through your messy hair.
"'m gonna shower," you replied, grabbing the other pile of clothes to add them to the hamper. He loved how easy things had become between the two of you in these recent years - he wouldn't give it up for all the power in the world. "Extra cheese or I'm breaking up with you."
"What kind of monster do you take me for?"
"The kinda monster that better hurry up so he can join me in the shower."
You took him by surprise by leaning behind him, pressing a kiss to his cheek as your arms hugged around his neck briefly. Sometimes he didn't know how or why or for how long it would last, but he knew for now, at least, you loved him in ways writers try to convey in novels.
"I'll be so fast you'll think I teleported there."
Of the things he’d lost that day, there was one in particular that weighed on his mind like a bad conscience. The reason for so many of what he used to hold in his heart as his best days, the very same that now incessantly repeated in his mind, an unremitting reminder of what he used to have.
When he declared he had lost everything due to the incident, he was speaking of you.
It hadn’t taken long for him to reach through to steal a look at his lost love, and while he told himself it needed to be something that didn't become a habit that's exactly what happened. Some things never changed - he was still more than happy to do nothing more than gaze at you in silence, enjoying how you adjusted annoyances as you read, the way your nose crinkled in focus, the way you fell asleep on your desk, the way you played with the necklace he'd given you when you were nervous…
He'd almost broken his promise to himself several times now, happening across you on a bad morning and an even worse night when the emptiness in your chest at the loss of him was too much to bare, the false face you normally wore too much effort to carry on forever. You missed him, and sometimes you couldn't bring yourself to do more than sob that fact into the night, clutching the lab coat wearing teddy bear he'd gifted you to your chest.
He was positive he still had a heart, because he could feel it breaking every time.
Now was one of those times, perhaps the worst he'd seen you endure, and he'd only been watching for a minute now…at least, that's what he thought, though he wasn't keeping track of time. Your eyes were burning red and you had a framed photo of the two of you lying on the bed next to you, one of his old shirts hugging your frame in familiarity.
“Jonathan?”
The sound of his name from your lips again punched another hole somewhere in him far deeper than any other. You felt him - without words you knew he was there, his presence occupying your space in a familiar comfort that you’d come to accept was irreplaceable. So he had lost track of time…enough time for you to feel him again, the man you'd spent so many hours with in the past exactly like this.
“Jonny?”
He wanted to disappear, a war waging in his mind between the profound desire to hold you again and the need to hide what he’d become from you. Instead, he was frozen, even his mind quiet as the way his name rolled off your tongue again filled his ears sweeter than any memory. He'd promised himself that you would never have to look at what he had become, insistent that you thinking he was dead was better.
“Please, Jonny…I can feel you,” your voice broke more and more with each word, desperate to plead to him enough to persuade him. “I know…I know you’re there, somehow. Please.”
What was he supposed to do when you begged like this? You used to beg in the sweetest ways, he'd never made you beg for anything in earnest, not through tears like this…
Seeing you like this because of him made him feel more villainous and monstrous than anything else he'd done. It was anxiety inducing to watch you beg for the man he used to be, knowing he could never again give you what he once did. It made him sick - every cell felt sick, every portal poisoned and shrinking, withdrawing within himself.
But one more sob from you and a lapse in judgement from him led to a wrong step, his form stepping through a portal directly at the foot of your bed before he could take it back.
Oh, how he'd missed your bravery. You were sitting in a flash, eyes wide and puzzled but not at all afraid as you looked upon him - the new him. For the first time he had to wonder if this form blushed - he felt his cheeks heating like he would have before, but that didn't mean they looked the same. You leaned against the headboard, away from him which was exactly the opposite of the pull you felt to him.
A familiar pull - one that you'd only ever felt before with one person, with your person. Your eyes resolved in knowingness and you glanced at the photo beside you before your eyes found what was technically his face again, eyebrows pulling together as you worked through your puzzled thoughts.
At least you'd stopped crying.
"J…Jonathan?"
A breath was sucked from somewhere in him and filled the room with a heavy sigh saturated in relief - he couldn't deny how right it felt that you were speaking to him again, seated in the same room…seated in the room you'd shared.
"Remember…you used to say I was so black or white," he cleared his throat that suddenly felt far too dry, an oversized hand coming up to the back of his neck to rub nervously. This is where he used to run his fingers through his hair, you noted internally as your eyes watered again hearing his voice. "Either a genius or an idiot. Now I'm black and white all at the same time…"
His rambling was cut by your arms flying around his middle, the size different between the two of you that had always been there now even more significant in his new form. He stood frozen in his place, form rigid as you squeezed him as though you would never let him go.
"You're here."
"I…I'm here," his voice was shaking and he wanted to run, he could feel the unease spreading across his body and expanding like a sickness. But the worse he felt, the more the holes shrank…everything about him was on-edge. "But I'm not me anymore, baby. I'm…this."
"You're you," your voice was that sweet, understanding tone you'd used in college with him, before the two of you had even dated and when you were both pretending you were nothing more than best friends. He'd always said it was like a lullaby to a baby. "I felt you."
But he didn't want to hear it now, and something dark and incendiary inside him screamed that you were lying - that there was no logical scenario where you were okay with how he looked.
"Don't patronize me," his voice snapped into something dark, holes flaring out again and spreading to almost encompass him in darkness, almost like a shield. "Don't. I know what I look like. I might not have eyes but I can see. I can see that I look like…a fucking freak. An abomination."
You couldn't imagine what he was feeling. There was no lying to him, he was a reasonable, intelligent man - he knew that this form was not what anyone would describe as perfect and was certainly not what you had fallen in love with, and there was nothing you could say that would convince him otherwise.
"You look like something tragic happened to you," your voice was unfaltering, the delicate tone coaxing him into the relaxation he used to always feel with you. "But I don't care what you look like, and I never have."
"It's not like a bad haircut or weight gain, Atom," he snapped. The vulnerability he was displaying was difficult to navigate as there was truly never someone to go through what he was…there was no anecdote to help him. These days, his default setting was anger.
Anger was better than anything else.
"I'm hideous. Look at me."
"I am," you said quietly, your voice dropping to just above a whisper. You looked right in his face, unwaveringly. He longed to kiss you more than ever before. "I'm looking right at you, Jonny."
That quieted him as he lost himself in the tranquility of you - you were the only one who had ever understood him enough to walk him through the difficult emotions and that was still true, even with his sorrow and rage felt and expressed tenfold. He'd thought so before, always known so with no scientific way to prove it until now…you were made for him.
And him alone.
"My Jonny."
Before he could register the movement your hands were resting on his chest and the walls he was trying to built crumbled, the spots essentially exploding into dozens of smaller ones all across his body, avoiding where your hands rested. As you lightly stroked your fingertips there they merged again to several larger, relatively heart shaped blobs.
He hadn't felt a gentle human touch since the incident, and he'd never thought he'd feel your touch again. If it was possible, he could have died on the spot. It was obvious that he was lost for a moment, forgetting the danger he presented to you, forgetting to maintain control.
But only for a moment, the horrors ever present.
After temporarily losing himself in the haze of feeling your touch again his shaking hands flew out, grasping your waist tight as his breathing came in heavy, concentrated breaths. Instead of letting him retreat within himself you stepped closer, hands slipping as close to his shoulders as you could reach.
"I thought I'd lost you forever," you said quietly, already teaching yourself how to get used to looking up into his face and not seeing his eyes. "And here you are."
"I lost everything," the vulnerability was shining through more as he opened himself to you again, almost having to reteach himself for a moment that you were someone he could share his emotions with. "My dream job…gone. My body…which was no temple to begin with but now I'm just this…this thing. I lost…I lost you. My dream girl…my everything. I lost my everything."
He saw the pain flashing in your eyes as you listened to him - as you empathized as you always had, your heart connected to his.
"You found me again," your voice was breaking again as you spoke, desperate for him to understand that all the times you'd said you'd love him no matter what you'd meant it. "I'm right here."
You moved your arms lower to wrap around his waist, stepping closer - but he ripped himself from you the moment you were close to connecting your head to his torso, the holes once again flaring in fear.
"No!" he shouted, immediately kicking himself for shouting at you. He took a deep breath to steady himself, swallowing hard as he calmed his emotions enough to speak again without lashing out. "You can't…the spots…the holes…"
Your brow pulled together like it always had when you were feeling inquisitive and you only sought to close the distance between the two of you again, stepping forward as you took in every inch of him.
"Holes?"
"They're portals," he explained, suddenly feeling self conscious about himself in ways he hadn't experienced since his one attempt at a high school dance. "I'm still figuring out how they work…and I don't want to lose you. I could really…really lose you."
He had missed this expression on you - when you were so deep in thought it was obvious your full focus was on solving the puzzle presented to you. He'd thought of this long ago and come to the conclusion that you would want to study him - to understand him more.
He wasn't sure he was ready to be the experiment under your scrutiny. But he was certain he could never be away from you again.
"Portals to where?"
"Everywhere," just like a doctor and patient, you were asking questions, formulating a hypothesis, he was providing the data. How many times had the two of you lived this scenario? Was now really so different? He remembered how you used to look at him in amazement…your expression now was truly no different than it ever had been. "Sometimes just back through another portal. Sometimes to other dimensions to other…universes. I've gotten lost and…I'd never forgive myself if you fell through. You can't be close to me."
"You just need to learn how to control them."
"I can't," he breathed out, his words exasperated with a break in the middle to accentuate it. It was all he could manage - it was all he had to.
"You can," it wasn't a tone full of false hope, it was decisive and resolute - you believed he could, and with your belief, he would try. "It's just another thing to learn, and you're the smartest man I know."
Before he could react to your sudden movements you closed the distance between the two of you again, sticking your hand through one of the holes in his arm with a deep breath.
"Hey -!"
Almost instantly your hand reappeared through his chest and a sigh of relief ripped through him, a puzzled smile spreading across your face as you wiggled your fingers. "Intriguing," he swore he could hear a familiar purr behind your words, and he had to wonder if you were trying to distract him from the complex mix of emotions he was experiencing. "How unique."
"You…you mean how freakish," he attempted to correct, focused on the feeling of you reaching into him. "This uhm…this has to be weird."
"You've stuck fingers in me," you defended, the playful tone in your voice one of the exact things he'd missed. Then again, in truth, he'd missed everything about you, even the parts he once didn't love.
"Atom…"
You pulled your hand back through him which earned another relieved sigh from his chest, his nervous breaths returning as you wrapped your arms around his torso again, your head finding a rightful position lying against his chest.
"Just hold me. You'd never let yourself lose me."
Your faith in him was misguided and foolish, the love you felt for him clouding your mind from the horror that you held in your arms - he was convinced of it. He froze, unwilling to give into even the slightest movement that would create a domino effect, unwilling to do anything to increase the risk he posed to you.
But seconds passed without incident until he'd been allowing you to hold onto him for several minutes. You were still here, still against him, still warming him up in ways he had longed to feel again for what had already felt like an eternity. Slowly, his arms circled you, pulling you slightly closer, clutching to you like you might still disappear at any moment.
As the minutes ticked away his arms got tighter and tighter, his hands resting on your lower back like you were made of porcelain.
"You kept all of my stuff…"
His voice was still so unsure, like he felt he was intruding…like he didn't belong here, in his own home. Like he didn't deserve to be holding you again. You nuzzled into him further in response, your hands flattening against his back to hold him against you tighter.
"I could never get rid of anything that makes me think of you," you whispered, eyes closed as you soaked in the moment, feelings both familiar and new.
"I haven't…laid in a bed since…"
He trailed off and you could feel the energy around him darken - you knew anger was a secondary emotion and in this instance it followed unimaginable hurt.
"Come to bed with me," you weren't asking, it was an instruction - voice unwavering and unquestioning. You looked up into his face again, and it was just like it had always been - you looked at him like you loved him.
"But why would you…ah -"
You really didn't mind the new height, in fact him towering over you more than ever before was causing other feelings that weren't quite appropriate for this sweet lovers' reunion, but it did make standing on your tiptoes more obsolete than ever, your lips barely reaching his chest. His words were cut off, a whine taking their place when your lips connected with his skin. He melted like it was the first time you kissed him, any residual panic withdrawing further into him as he held you tighter.
You felt the shift in his energy and smiled against him as you pressed more kisses wherever you could reach, mindful when you approached a spot, lips continuing to brush against him as you spoke.
"If you get into bed with me I can kiss more of you," "You're so tall now, Jonny. Can't reach."
One thing that hadn't changed was his complete willingness to obey you, to give in to your every request, to fulfill every instruction…it continued to be true as he scrambled into the bed, nearly groaning at the familiar feeling of his pillow and the sheets you'd insisted they needed again. The seconds that passed with him alone - with him getting used to his new height in the bed he once fit comfortably in, getting used to controlling the holes (when was the last time he'd laid down?).
But when you climbed into the bed beside him, the anxieties vanished. You moved as close to him as you could, one of your hands delicately resting on his torso while the other reached to his face, stroking your thumb across his cheek delicately.
It was the kind of moment where your eyes close in serenity, and somewhere inside him he felt it. Maybe he was a fool for thinking this could last, but with the multiverse at his fingertips, he'd always reach out to you.
All of the versions of you were meant to be his.
And they would be.
masterlist. spider-man & co masterlist.
▸ likes & comments are appreciated, but please reblog to help share my work!
the asteria method
♡ STEPS:
-> prepare. this is your routine. drink water, meditate, listen to music or ambiance, whatever helps you get into a positive mindset. (my atmosphere guide)
-> get in any comfortable position where your limbs are not touching each other. it doesn't have to be starfish -- i despise that position -- and i recommend laying on your side (this is how i lay), back, or sitting up.
-> close your eyes and take a deep breath. now count to fifty, out loud or in your head.
-> pick any scenario in your dr (a positive one) and visualise it for as long as you'd like. if you have trouble visualising, then think about how it smells or feels. ex. is your dr bedroom cold? are you on a train? what do you hear? what emotions are you feeling?
-> at the end of whatever you chose to visualise, think of the place you'll be in when you shift. you don't need to visualise it but have it there in your mind. then affirm that you're in your desired reality.
-> for sleepers, just do this until you fall asleep. then you wake up in your dr.
-> for non-sleepers, you're going to keep your eyes closed and imagine someone from your dr grabbing your hand. don't look at them, just listen to their voice and feel them there. they should say your name and either tell you that they're waiting or ask if you're ready.
-> now you get to decide. are you ready to shift? if the answer is yes, then tell them yes and affirm until you feel positive that you've shifted or hear/smell/feel what you scripted. once you know, just open your eyes and you're there. if you decide for whatever reason you aren't ready, just say no and open your eyes.
-> good luck, i believe in you all! <3
Ok so, I tend to indulge myself with some TMNT 2k12 to pass the time and I really enjoy rewatching the entire series because I like seeing characters mature from the starting point. But I also enjoy watching certain episodes, my particular favorite being episode 7 of season 2: Slash and Destroy. Something about Raph’s relationship with his brothers always made me smile because despite how rash he can be, he still loves them.
But in this particular rewatch of this episode, something caught my eye. Remember in the first part of the episode where Raph gets angry at Mikey for getting his limited edition magazines dirty and when he tries to clean them (lick them clean), Raph got pissed and whacked him on head and said “You mess up everything, Mikey!” and oh my god, the look on Mikey’s face broke my heart.
He looks shocked, scared even.
He just kept looking back between the floor and Raph with that stare and I just felt so bad. He kept that fucking stare the entire time until Raph walked away.
That sad, depressing and heartbroken look is going to haunt me for as long as I live.
Trust pt.2
Miles Morales ! 42 x Fem ! Reader x Miles Morales ! 1610
wc : 5,9k Warnings : angst, possessiveness, all characters are around 19 years old, cheating, no proofread, what I could remember from my spanish class 3 years ago, eventual love triangle ?, dramaaaa. pt.1 - pt.2 - pt.3 (coming soon)
Sorry, it took so long, the chapter just kept getting longer. Anyways, hope you enjoy <3
You sighed as you closed the door of the store. It was already past midnight and you had just finished a long shift. Oddly, the store had been particularly active today and you couldn't catch any break. Now you sought one simple thing. To find the comfort of your bed.
You removed the key from the lock and frowned as a drop of water touched your skin. It was raining.
Wonderful.
You had no umbrella with you as you didn't anticipate the night to get rainy. Regretting your choice of clothes, you pressed your bag on top of your head to protect yourself from the rain. Your home was a bit far from the cornerstone you worked at and you knew you had to hurry up because the streets were not safe at night.
As you headed toward your apartment, your thought deviated toward him.
It had been one month. Four weeks since everything fell apart.
At least, to you.
Twenty-eight days since you broke up with Miles Morales. Six hundred and seventy-two hours since he betrayed you and you liked to think that you had moved on. It was the easiest way to go through your days.
And if your heart ached each time you found his clothes in your closet or if you woke up in the middle of the night to noises on your window thinking it was him, you denied it.
The pain that you felt that night was unmatched. It was still fresh, rooted deep in your memories. But with time, you discovered it was nothing next to the pain of leaving without Miles. He wasn't there physically, yet he occupied each ounce of your mind.
Contrary to what you could believe, Miles wasn't any better. You were on his mind, 24/7.
He regretted. He regretted considerably. He had made the worst mistake of his life and just like that, you slipped through his fingers.
You were his world. His universe. He missed your presence. He missed holding you in his arms, feeling the warmth of your skin, tickling the curve of your hip, caressing the softness of your skin with his lips and seeing the deepness of your loving gaze when you looked up at him. He missed everything about you and he refused to let you go.
And this became the hardest part for you. Miles had tried to get you back.
Countless time.
Because even if your mind was screaming no, your heart was still weak for the boy. And he knew it.
He hadn't stopped texting you in the weeks following your break up. He had asked for forgiveness so many times you couldn't even count it. When you blocked him on every social media, he directly came to your house. He would knock on your window at late hours like he always did.
You would leave him outside.
After some time, he finally decided to give you some space but you could still feel his presence from afar. You could feel his stare on your back sometimes as you came back from work. You knew he was still making sure you were safe. Sometimes, you find to notes from him on your window.
You didn't read them.
You had thought of taking him back. On your lowest nights, you had thought that maybe it was for the best. You felt nothing without him. Even if the relationship brought your more strain than anything else, it was at least something. It was toxic but addicting. It made you cry at night but it made you feel high on other days. The only thing stopping you from going back was that little doubt ticking in the back of your brain.
What if he did it again?
But if there was one thing you knew, is that you were faithful to yourself. You were too afraid to put yourself through that process again if he was to mess up again. He had already broken you once, had left you miserable and you had suffered too much to trust him again.
So with time, you learned to let go. You had finally gotten used to living without him. Each day you were forgetting him more and more and you felt like yourself once again. And while your heart was still tied to his in a way, you knew you could live peacefully now.
You were dragged out of your thoughts by a noise behind you, yet you didn't give it a second thought. However, when you heard again, this time followed by irregular steps against the wet concrete, you frowned.
You peeked behind your shoulder and noticed a man, both taller and broader, dressed in a black hoodie. You couldn't see his face.
Your heartbeat picked up.
You accelerated, hoping that you were worrying for nothing, but that hope was soon crushed when the steps also became faster. Before you could think of a way to get yourself out of this situation, a hand covered your mouth and you were dragged into an alley.
It was dark and you could barely see anything as you fought back against the broad body that manhandled you against the wall.
''What pretty girl like you doing outside at such an hour.''
He whispered, his breath reeking of booze. He pressed his body against yours and travelled his hands on your back. Your cheeks pressed hard against the rugged brick wall, you felt tears burn the brim of your eyes as you realized what was about to happen.
''N-no! Please don't''
''Shut up bitch, you want it. You wouldn't be walking alone at such hours if not,'' he laughed in your ears.
''Nah, I think her no was clear enough.''
You jerked at the new voice and soon, the hands holding you against the wall disappeared. You turned around panicked, gasping as the man who was once all over you, now laying on the ground, holding his bruised cheek. Another guy dressed in a red suit stood over him.
''I hate assholes like you-'' the newcomer shot a string of web to tie up the man against the wall ? ''who think they can do whatever they want.''
You rubbed your eyes to make sure you saw well. Web ?
''Don't touch women again, got it ?''
The man nodded quickly, eyes widened in fear before the guy in red sent another punch, knocking him out for good.
You stood there, back against the wall, frozen. You had never heard of a guy in red playing the hero in Brooklyn.
New-york was filled with villains. You just hoped to fall on the nicest one.
As if reading your thoughts, the guy in red walked toward you.
''Hey, are you fine? I'm sorry this happened !''
He stopped in his track when you flinched.
''Look, I don't want you any harm,'' he raised his arms in the air as proof. ''Can I...come closer ?''
You nodded slowly, still speechless, and he did so. From closer, he was towering over you and you had to raise your head to properly look at him.
Just like with your ex.
You frowned, feeling stupid for thinking of the guy in such a situation and finally spoke.
''Thank you."
You watched as he smiled through his mask.
''Of course,'' he raised his hand before stopping abruptly. ''Can I touch you ?''
You nodded and he held your chin, angling it to the side and checking your cheek.
''Good he didn't hurt you,'' he then took in your appearance. You were completely wet because of the rain and you had started shivering. He removed the coat he was wearing and wrapped it around your shoulders. ''Here.''
A million thoughts crossed your mind, yet you only cared about one.
The coat smelled like Miles.
You shook your head, feeling stupid again. Were you so obsessed that you imagined your ex everywhere now? You really needed some sleep.
But you didn't want to walk home alone.
''I'll bring you home,'' the boy announced before wrapping his arms around your hips. ''Hold onto me tight.''
You did as he said, confused about why but soon understood when he brought you both in the air.
''Oh god !''
You closed your eyes not daring to look down.
''I know,'' he laughed near your ear and you couldn't ignore the shivers that crossed your body at the familiarity of his voice.
In less than ten minutes, you were home after telling him the way.
''Thank you for this,'' you smiled shyly and handed him back his coat.
''Of course! ''
You looked at him and you just couldn't get rid of this picture of Miles.
''Who are you ?''
You were shocked at your own question, the word escaping your mouth before you could stop yourself.
''Oh, I'm Spiderman," the guy said and you could hear the proudness in his voice.
''No, like who are you really?'' You slid your hands down his shoulders and his arms. It was a posture you knew too well. You could recognize that body in a million. ''Miles ?''
''W-what''
You grabbed the end of his mask and to your surprise, he didn't stop you. You raised it until it revealed his face.
A gasp escaped you as you saw Miles but....he didn't have braids. You studied him carefully. Same lips, same nose, same cheekbones, you almost got fooled. But when you made eye contact with him, you saw it.
It wasn't your ex.
His eyes weren't the same. Your ex had this hardened stare. A gaze built by the wall he created around himself. People said eyes were the mirror of the soul but you couldn't read anything through them.
This guy in front however had....innocence painted all over his eyes. His stare was soft, warm and solacing.
''You aren't Miles, who are you ?''
The guy took a step forward, hope in his eyes. You stepped back.
''You know Miles Morales ?''
You shook your head freaked out by the situation and took another step back.
''Get out.''
The taller widened his eyes.
''No, no please listen to me first.''
Maybe it was his eyes, maybe it was because he looked like Miles, you didn't know. But you didn't have the heart to chase him away one more time.
''You have five minutes.''
"So you're telling me that you are a hero from another earth that is exactly like mine and you saved people you weren't supposed to so a hoard of spidermans is following you and you need to go back to your earth to save your dad."
Miles nodded eagerly.
"I know it sounds crazy but yeah…that's pretty much it.''
''Damn,'' you breathed, letting the information sink in. ''And you need me for..?''
''To find a way back home.''
The boy stared at you expectantly, waiting for your answer. You bit the inside of your cheek before shaking your head.
''Look, I don't think I can help you with that.''
His face dropped and he clasped your smaller hands in his calloused ones.
''Nonono, please! You are the only one I could find and you seem to already know Miles Morales from here. You know how I need to act to stay unnoticed.''
You thought about his words. It made sense, but you didn't want to get involved in all that mess.
"I really don't know."
"Please !"
You wondered for a few more seconds. How where you supposed to refuse when he was looking at you pleadingly?
''Alright.''
His facial features broke into a grin and he pulled on your arm, making you collide against his chest.
''Thank you !''
You could only widen your eyes as you felt his arms tighten around you. You hadn't expected this sudden affection. Dumbstruck, you failed to return the gesture until he froze and leaned back, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
''Sorry, I got too excited…'' he looked away, your stare becoming too intense for him.
You stayed silent for a few seconds before bursting out laughing. The Miles you knew was so cold so this new Miles with such a…bubbly personality was interesting.
You couldn't help but think it was sweet…and very cute.
''It's fine.''
He seemed satisfied with your reaction as he joined you before your laughers died down.
''Uh, I might have sum else to ask.''
You hummed.
''I kinda need a place to stay.''
Miles towered over you, holding bedsheets, while you hugged a pillow to your chest.
''So how are we going to do this ?''
You two made eye contact before glancing at the bed again. Suddenly, the boy dropped the fabric on the floor and rose his hand next to his chest.
''I'll sleep on the ground, it's fin-''
''no, you don-''
''Yes, I do. I'm the guy and the guest, so sleep on the bed and I'll-''
''Just lay down, I don't mind.''
You slid under the covers not waiting for his reaction and soon, you heard the mattress dip toward his side. He was careful to let some space between you.
You rose the fabric over both of your bodies and sighed. This was a long day and you were honey tired. You tried to get some sleep but you could feel starring eyes burning your skin.
''What is it ?'' you whispered with your eyes still closed.
You heard the rub of covers before Miles cleared his throat.
''Nothing, nothing.''
Then the mattress bent again and you assumed he turned the other way.
''Oh, by the way. My mom can't know you are here. So you know…be discreet.''
You didn't want to have to explain to her what Miles, your ex - even if it's not really him - was doing in your room at such an hour.
''Don,t worry, I'm discreet.''
The next afternoon, you found yourself in the library. It was far from your apartment and your school, which reduced the chance of running into an unrequired acquaintance.
''Look at this, doesn't it look interesting ?''
You extended a book about something called 'The Super-Collider'.
''That's basically a particle collider right ?'' You added as Miles grabbed the heavy textbook.
The taller boy nodded, peeking at the back cover.
''Yes, it uses electromagnetic fields to speed up charged particles. And-
''Eventually, pull or join different objects coming from different dimensions,'' you finished, scratching your chin as you wondered about something. You didn't notice Miles' amazed expression.
''You know what it is ?''
You looked at him as if he was crazy.
''Of course, didn't you watch The Flash ?''
His excitation vanished and you received silence as an answer.
''I'm joking, I'm just really interested in physics,'' you said pivoting back to the bookshelf and searching for another work that could be useful.
''Oh...I didn't know that. I wanna study in that field later.''
Your widened eyes shifted back to him.
''What, you literally hate phys-'' you stopped as remembered who you were with and you shook your head embarrassed. ''Nevermind.....It's nice to have someone who likes it like me.''
You couldn't help the thrill that invaded you. Your ex would always joke about your interests in physics and eventually, you stopped talking about it. So seeing this new Miles show interest brought a certain warm feeling to your stomach. You didn't know what it was, but the longer you were with the boy, the more interesting you found him. You had found a special chemistry with him and it's like you two had always been friends.
You liked that sensation.
''I was wondering, are particle accelerators the reason why you are here ?"
The taller twisted his mouth to the side.
''Uh...not really? It's part of the reason though. Some type of butterfly effect,'' he finished as you opened another book. You simply hummed not pushing too much on the object. It didn't look like he wanted to talk much about it.
''I think we have enough for now. Let's buy them !''
You gazed at the raindrops interrupting the peaceful reflection of your face on the blurry window. It was particularly cold today, gray clouds snatching the sunrays from the city while its people ran down the streets to cover themselves from the water. To you, the scenery was simply gloomy.
A usual rainy day in Brooklyn.
You jumped as the doorbell of the store rang, pulling you out of your train of thought. You relaxed after realizing it was only a client. You were only 3 in the shop. You being the cashier, the man who had just crossed the door and Miles hanging upside down next to you while playing a ball.
''What's up with you? You've been daydreaming since morning.''
It had been 3 weeks since this Miles arrived from Earth 1610 and you had nearly spent all of your time with him.
Well, it's not as if you had a choice since he lived in your apartment, but it didn't change the you two had gotten extremely close. You were hanging out every day. One time at the coffee shop and another time watching a movie while trying hairstyles on his hair. Just like yesterday.
You couldn't deny your attachment that had grown for him. Hell, just thinking about him made your heart flutter and you would find yourself stuck with a stupid grin on your lips.
At first, you kept comparing him with your ex. His accent, his gesture, what he liked and what he disliked. He didn't speak as much Spanish, he wasn't as mysterious and cold. But as time passed, you found yourself more and more drawn by this new Miles. He was more expressive, affectionate, supportive and careful with you. He knew how to make you laugh no matter the situation and you two shared multiple interests.
You weren't oblivious. You quickly understood that the boy was slowly stealing your heart. But that doesn't mean you were ready for it.
You were used to feeling love with pain. To push and pull kind of relationship. To toxic and aggressive feelings. To spend the night worrying about your lover and only to find him bleeding the next day. To cry alone at night then drown your sadness in your boyfriend's arms for a few minutes before you had to separate again to go to school.
But with Mile Morales, everything was different. It was sweet, warm and solacing. He was always next to you at night and he was careful with you in daylight. You felt protected and you weren't sleeping next to a criminal anymore.
This was so different, but you liked it.
''I just didn't get much sleep last night.''
The taller jumped back to his feet before getting closer to you. He looked at your face carefully, worry painted all over his own features.
''I shouldn't have kept you up all night, sorry.''
You looked up at him with a chuckle before flicking his forehead softly.
''No, it was funny. You looked really cute with those coloured rubber bands in those cornrows I did,'' you teased, facing him.
He frowned before a tiny pout took over his mouth. It was nearly imperceptible but it was there.
''I looked like a kid. How am I supposed to be big and scary with that in my hair.''
You burst out laughing, the memory from last night coming back to you. You had told him you would braid his hair since he wanted to try something new but he ended up removing them because 'they were too tight, and his scalp was too soft for all that'. You knew he just wanted to remove the rubber bands.
''I'm still mad at you for destrpying my beautiful work.''
He smirked getting closer, reducing the space between you two.
''Don't be upset tesoro, what will I do if you are mad at me ?''
Your heart skipped a beat at the nickname, like it had done for the past weeks, and you looked away, to hide your shy smile. However, before you could answer, you heard a gun cocking right in front of you.
You slowly looked up, to find a riffle pointed right to your face. Your heart dropped as you failed to understand whatever the client from earlier was screaming.
''Open the cash register and gimme the bills,'' when he noticed your lack of reaction, he brought the gun closer to your forehead. ''Hurry the fuck up !''
However, before the stranger could try anything else, the gun was knocked out of his hands and his arms were joined together by web.
Everything passed in a flash and Miles quickly neutralize him and called the police. And if he gave a few unnecessary punches to the man, as he was already tied up, you didn't mention it. It was Miles' way to get back at the man and make him regret pointing his gun at you.
Before you could even realize what happened, the boy was in front of you, holding you tight by the elbow, checking up on you for the second time in less than 10 minutes.
''How are you feeling,'' he whispered, his low voice vibrating in your ear.
''G-good.''
Your voice left you like a whisper, still shaken by the event.
You had encountered multiple... ominous situations in this city. But being held at gunpoint and knowing your life was in the hands of a stranger was different. You realized how lucky you were to have Miles at your side at this exact moment and your eyes watered.
The boy read right through the facade you were trying to keep up, as he noticed your shivering and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, dragging you against himself.
''Come here precious.''
You tightened your hands around the low of his back, losing yourself in the warmness and the comfort of his embrace. You felt safe and the panic was slowly soothed away from you.
''Feeling better ?''
You nodded, slowly, face still hidden nestled in the crook of his neck.
''How come there's so much crime in this city,'' he sighed, caressing the back of your neck to bring you more comfort.
''We don't have Spiderman here, you know,'' you muttered, finally finding the energy to spill some words.
Your words were muffled by his skin and you felt him shiver at the sensation of your lips against his neck.
''Right.''
You expected him to laugh at your words so you looked up at him, frown plastered on your face.
''Are you mad ?''
His expression softened when he noticed you scowl and he shook his head.
''No,'' he rested his chin on top of your head. ''I just don't like the idea of you living all these years without anyone to protect you.''
You ignored the butterflies that invaded your stomach as his sentence, your lips growing into a grin against the crook of his neck.
''I'm not a damsel in distress.''
Miles only hummed, not letting go of you.
''Yeah, if you say so, preciosa.''
Everything was going perfectly. You and Miles were slowly finding more clues on how to send him back to Earth 1610 and by then, old Miles was already far in your memory.
You couldn't but wonder how unusual that was. You weren't used to just living peacefully. There was always something going on.
And you weren't wrong to feel so suspicious.
You were walking down the street as it was getting darker outside.
Again.
You had to stay a few more hours at school to finish a group project and you hadn't realized how much time had passed. You cursed under your breath, remembering what happened the last time you found yourself walking for such an hour outside.
Not wanting to get in such a situation again, you accelerated until you arrived on the street where you live. You sighed, relieved, but before you could take your keys, a large hand caught your elbow, dragging you into the alley behind your apartment. You were pinned against the bricked wall and clenched your eyes shut, groaning at the impact.
What's with the people of this city and walls? Damn.
However, when you glanced at whoever seized you so brutally, your heart sank. You had completely forgotten about him and you had never expected him to come back.
''Miles.''
Your ex smirked staring up and down at your silhouette before licking his lips. A shiver travelled down your body at his action.
''Happy to see me mami ?''
You two made eye contact and you were hauled. His gaze was still as piercing as you remembered and it brought back unwanted memories. However, you suddenly blinked, waking up from your stupor and averted your eyes from the imposing male. Your expression turned sour and you tried to push him away, unsuccessfully.
''Leave me alone, Morales.''
He chuckled, taking a step forward to reduce the space between both of your bodies.
''So that's what we are doing now ?''
You kept your lips sealed and turned your head to the side as an answer. However, his fingers slid behind your neck, using his thumb to shift your head back to him.
''Look at me when I talk to you.''
''What do you want ?''
He rose his eyebrow at the dryness of your tone, still not used to such an attitude from you.
''I don't need a reason to see yah princesa.''
''I don't have time for this, move.''
Miles clenched his jaw, his eyes hardening at your words.
''Watch your tone.''
''Or what ?'' you raised your eyebrow at him with a bored expression. Two months ago, you would have never talked to him like that. But right now, you couldn't care less. You wanted to go home, take a shower and cuddle with your Miles. You were too tired for all that.
Your ex-boyfriend visibly took a deep breath and closed his eyes to calm himself down. You could see the frustration growing in him. But you didn't expect what he would say next.
''Who's that guy you've been hanging out with lately ?''
You froze at the question.
''What the- have you been following me ?''
''I asked you a question,'' Miles repeated louder this time.
''It's none of your business.''
''I'm being nice and you don't wanna try me. I don't like you talking to other guys and you know that.''
You scoffed at his nerve. Why was he acting like you were his or something?
''What part don't you understand in 'we're done' ?''
He took a deep breath and pinched his nose.
''Look, I fucked up mami. Lo sé and I hate myself for it. But I let you have some space for two months already, te necesito.''
''Miles, I don't love you anymore.''
He froze for a second but you could see him gulp slowly.
''I know you, stop playing hard to get.''
You rested your hand against your forehead tired of this situation already.
''Are you being serious ?'' he asked again in disbelief.
But instead of answering, you pushed him back and this time, he didn't resist.
''I'm leaving.''
''Where do you think you are going ?''
''Hopefully to my new boyfriend,'' you answered. Being honest was probably the only way to force him away from you.
''You don't want to do this,'' he said darkly. He clenched his jaw and rubbed his hand on his chin. You had never seen him so mad. ''I'm warning you.''
You shook your head with a sigh before ignoring him and entering your apartment. You knew he was saying empty words. Your ex would never dare to hurt you directly. He could cheat, and lie but never harm you intentionally.
That's what you thought at least.
Arriving in your room, you find your new Miles sitting at your desk, sketching something on a sheet.
''Preciosa, you are finally here.''
You nodded with a tired smile.
''You're not sleeping yet ?''
He shook his head, leaning back on the chair and spreading his leg to be more comfortable. ''Nah, was waiting for you."
You raised an eyebrow at his position before throwing a shoe at him that he easily caught with one hand.
''Stop the manspreading in my room.''
He laughed before telling you to come closer. You obeyed and your eyes fell on the drawing he was making.
It was you.
And it was you in a way you had never seen before. You looked...magnificent.
Your breath got stuck in your throat and couldn't help but wonder if that's how the boy saw you.
All the stress you got from meeting your ex evaporated from your body as you sat on Miles' thighs and one of his hands rested on yours.
''It's beautiful.''
He hummed. ''When the muse is already gorgeous, it makes everything easier.''
Your heart jumped at the compliment and you pressed your head against his, running your thumb down his cheek as he kept drawing.
''Careful, you'll make my fro flat,'' the boy muttered, still focused on his sketch.
''I'll brush it out for you later,'' you giggled, continuing your ministration on his face.
A few more seconds passed and only the soft sound of a pencil running on paper filled the silence surrounding you. All until the boy broke the ice.
''I've always wanted to ask but...what's your relationship with Miles from here ?''
You gulped at this sudden question. Did he saw...what happened outside?
''Why you wanna know that ?''
Noticing your defensive reaction, he shook his head softly.
''Hey, I'm not forcing you to tell me, I was just wondering since you know...he never tried to contact you since I arrived. I kind of assumed you two were close since you recognized me in my suit. ''
You relaxed at his explanation.
''Oh, uh we were friends, but we had an argument and haven't really talked since.''
You didn't want to think about the guy anymore and ruin this wonderful moment. You hoped your Miles wouldn't mind the white lie you had just spitted out.
Hopefully, the taller didn't seem to question you more and quickly changed the conversation.
It had been two weeks since your encounter with your ex and everything was going better than ever. Your mom had just left for a trip and the house was left to you and Miles. You woke up to the sound of the plate coming from the kitchen.
Loud sounds.
When you arrived in the living room, you found Miles throwing water in a pan which contained burning eggs. Your mouth dropped.
''What are you doing ?''
He jumped at the sound of your voice before placing his hand on his chest right over his heart.
''Shit, don't scare me like that.'' He then looked at the mess he had created and scratched the back of his neck. ''Uh...I was trying to make breakfast.''
You looked at him, still devoid of words before bursting out laughing.
''And you managed to burn eggs? How do you even burn eggs ?''
You shook your head taking the pan out of his and putting it in the sink.
''What I am going to do with your Miles.''
He pouted following closely behind you like a lost puppy.
''It's the meaning that matters ?''
You glared at him before seeing the opened bag of flour next to you. You smirked before grabbing some and throwing it in his face.
''Hey !''
He retaliated by taking the closest thing to him, which was a raw egg and throwing it on your shirt.
A gasp was heard.
''You did not just do that.''
''Oh, I did. ''
Soon, it turned into a food war, and your enjoyment could be heard by the mix of yells and laughers coming from the kitchen. Out of nowhere, Miles caught the back of your thighs and sat you on the table, before resting between your legs.
''Caught you.''
You laughed gaily, before getting closer to his face with a raised eyebrow.
''What do you want champion? A kiss as a price ?''
Yet, instead of joking back as you expected, the boy only gulped. That's when you noticed the small space separating both of your faces.
You liked your lips, anxious at his silence and his eyes followed your tongue before slowly travelling back to your nose and your eyelashes. He then closed his eye and shook his head to compose himself.
''The stuff you make me think, preciosa.''
Your mouth dried out at his words and you bit your lips.
''Like what ?''
''I can't say it.''
He averted his eyes from you once again but you stopped him before he could lean away.
''Then show me,'' you whispered.
He widened his eyes as his breath brushed against your lips. You saw as he tried to hold himself back but the intense burning in his eyes showed you that he wanted exactly what you wanted.
''Fuck it.''
He leaned down and crashed his lips onto yours and you automatically responded, sighing in delight.
Finally.
Your lips moved in synchronization and you felt euphoric. After a few seconds, he leaned away, his dark eyes travelling onto your face as if he wanted to capture to moment and carve it in his mind forever.
''You don't know how much I've wanted this."
''Me too,'' you whispered before your mouths found each other again.
You kissed and kissed. For how long, you didn't know. But all you knew is that it felt too good and it only felt like a few seconds before you separated again.
Miles licked his lips and let out a breath.
''That was -wow.''
''Yeah...'' you whispered trying to catch your breath, a bit dazzled by what had just happened.
''I made you this breathless already,'' he laughed before you punched him on the shoulder.
''Shut up !''
He laughed and wrapped his arms around your waist.
''I would love to kiss you more, but I think we need to clean this up first.''
You followed his eyes and noticed the mess you two had created.
''Yeah...''
He carried you back on the floor and you two got to work. Eventually, you realized you needed more cleaning products and you went to the store while he continued cleaning.
On the way, you kept touching your lower lip with a stupid smile stuck on your face. Miles made you feel all sorts of things and infatuation was the main one. You were already excited to get back home and continue the unfinished business.
The trip to get more cleaning products was fast and soon, you were back at your apartment.
But bliss goes away as fast as it comes, doesn't it ?
When you opened the door to your apartment to find that the living room was a mess.
But not the mess you had left in the kitchen.
A people having a physical fight kind of a mess. The armchair was knocked down, the table was broken and the pillows were ripped.
''Miles ?'' you yelled but received no answer.
Your heart raced as you rushed to look in the different rooms of your home, but there wasn't any living soul.
What the heck was happening?
When you arrived in your room, there was still no one.
But as you were going back to the kitchen, something caught your attention from the corner of your eye. It was a note on your window.
Exactly like the one your ex used to leave.
From afar, you could even recognize his writing. You snatched it and for the first time, you decided to read it.
Your heart sank at the words.
''I warned you.''
Don't hesitate to comment or reblog, I read everything <33
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Earth 42!Miles Morales x Fem!Reader
“Let me stitch you up, Miles.”
i ❤️ miles and he is so bf uhuh (i’m insane put me in a cell)
also he’s soooooo a simp in this, none of that ihu typa love his mama raised him RIGHT
warnings: injury, stitches, medical practices from someone who doesn’t know what the hell they’re doing, some angst, slightly suggestive at times
I dot NOT speak spanish so if anyone is willing to help with translation for future fics, I would owe my life to you (and give early release? i dunno wtv u want babygirl)
Miles didn’t understand your hurt. He didn’t understand why you hated him being the Prowler—, didn’t understand you crying when you found out. Or your shame and disappointment when it came to his..
-Profession.
It confused him, he did this to keep you safe. He’d already lost enough, he can’t lose you. He won’t. You just didn’t get that.
Having you be mad at him, loath him, despise and detest him for being Prowler. It was easier than you dead because he wasn’t.
He would rather you hate him, than only have your memory.
So when he came home to you sleeping in his bed, waiting for him to return to you only two weeks after his initial reveal, he did nothing but lay down next to you and let your hand slowly drag into his. Interlocking your fingers in a twisted pattern of forgiveness and relief.
And he didn’t try to understand why.
—
It was warm this night, the heat of a summers Sun leaving Brooklyn a mucky kind of hot. Sweat dripping down the flesh of those still dwelling outside so late, only taking solace in the rare occasion of a breeze through their clothes.
Which is why you felt ever grateful lying in an air conditioned apartment dawned only in a pair of your lovers boxers and a ribbed white tank top.
It was the pair you bought him a while back when browsing street stalls, decorated with little cats and hearts. You thought they were funny, he was not impressed (but he was happy you were happy).
Miles had been out a lot lately. Assignments, as he called them, had been increasing in frequency as of late. Willing you more and more worried about the boy you loved, he just kept coming home injured.
Which you endearingly (aggressively) scolded him for, tones of care seeping into your monologue of being safer with his job whilst he huffed and puffed begrudgingly.
Assuring you he was nothing but careful,—
“Mami, ¿por qué iba a ser imprudente con mi vida cuando te tengo a ti para volver a casa a? Alguien tiene que cuidar de ti.”
"Mami, why would I be reckless with my life when I have you to go home to? Someone has to take care of you."
A bashful murmur of “Just be more careful.” Would only reward you with a hand on your waist and the beginnings of a smile. You sighed out in boredom, draping a hand over your forehead dramatically. Spread out on Miles’ bed awaiting his return that’s seemingly taking years.
A crash outside your (boyfriends’) window alerted you out of your position, the piercing sound of metal scraping against metal grating your ears. Shooting up from your laid position, you messily shuffled off the bed, almost tripping over yourself to get to the figure struggling beyond the glass. A heavy claw dragged the window open with the apparent little strength it had left, heavy breaths and short rumbles of discomfort reaching your ears.
The neon pink of the Prowlers mask greeted you, quickening your aid in slamming open the window and catching Miles’ stumbling body from toppling through.
A husking groan sounded from your sweetheart as the mask slowly peeled back, revealing the trails of blood creeping from a cut in his lip.
“Hey, mami.”
Miles was gorgeous, he was a still picture of a painted deity in living form. The plump of his lips dripping a slow streak of burgundy did nothing to taint the sight of him, you wished it had, maybe you could be madder.
“Miles, what happened?” Your concern had outweighed your admiration, you were now fretting.
“I tripped.”
You scoffed something unbelieving, smiling despite the ache in your chest at the poor sight of him. Your emotionally stumped man.
“C’mon, baby, come inside.” Your right hand caressed the side of his face, left collecting his claw adorned fingers in yours to help him through and into his room.
He squeezed his eyes shut as he stepped over the sill, sucking in a breath and hoping you didn’t catch it.
Glancing up at you from his hunched position, you gaped back at him, unimpressed but worried.
He dropped your hands, the clasps on his gloves clicking, and the metal dropped to the ground with a dull thud. Pushing his arms back and letting his backpack fall too, he cracked his neck and winced again.
You all but pouted at him, reaching for his hurt body in discontent.
He leaned down to put his head on your shoulder, breath tickling your neck as he peppered you with light kisses, nipping your skin in just a graze. He wasn’t one to usually be so affectionate, but his guard always lowers with you, shoulders dropping and pulse quickening.
“No está tan mal, ma.”
"It's not so bad, ma."
His hand lifting from out of yours and onto your waist, circling the exposed skin between his boxers and your shirt.
His boxers,—
—,his hand twitched.
“Not that bad?” Your hushed voice bled of concern. “There’s a gash in your side!”
The simple serenity he had found buried in your neck had been ripped away from him in an instant.
You all but hauled his body to the bed, urging him to sit down against the sheets whilst he sulked grumpily behind you. Pushing against his chest and sitting him down.
You ran to his bathroom, washing your hands thoroughly before opening the cabinet under the sink, reaching back to the first aid kit you had placed here for this exact reason and towel, you rushed back to his room and shut the door behind you. “Amor, It’s just a—“ Cutting himself off, he hissed and cursed some under his breath.
“No digas que es sólo un corte.”
"Don't say it's just a cut."
“Mi sol, I have suffered worse.”
“Let me stitch you up, Miles.”
You turned back, shooting him an exasperated look while you threw the towel. Miles catching it without much effort and putting it under him. Flipping open the latch on the kit you sat yourself next to his bed, knees underneath you and digging harshly into the scuffed wood. You grabbed everything you assume you’d need, setting it on the open lid of the kit and focusing back on Miles.
“You look good like this, mami.”
You choked slightly, glaring up at him.
“Take off your jacket, Morales.”
"Sabes, si querías que me desnudara..."
"You know, if you wanted me to undress..."
“One more word.”
“Understood.”
He groaned as he did. Jacket falling off his shoulders and onto the bed, he pushed it to the floor beside you and spread his knees. You shuffled closer between them, lifting his shirt enough to see the damage on his torso and sighed shakily when figuring he was right.
It was just a graze, but a damn deep one. On the right of his torso, falling just under his ribcage was a thin, deep gash.
“What were you cut with, Papi?”
His stomach clenched as you prodded around, checking the wound for any signs of oncoming infection and signalling for him to take his shirt off.
“A knife, probably.”
Despite the weary of the situation, a smug look adorned his face. You poked his stomach, him wincing.
“Figures.”
You hid your smile.
He slipped his shirt over his head, grimacing at the pull of his wound. You took it from him and set it aside, getting an unopened bottle of water from the kit and pouring it over the cut. The water ran through the blood, trickling down his abs and soaking the waist band of his pants, he tipped his head back, groaning lowly in pain.
“Mami, entiendo que estés enfadado, but please be gentle.”
"Mami, I understand that you're angry, but please be gentle."
He gazed down at you lazily, the drawl of his accent coating his voice syrupy in light of his injury. He looked downright sinful, braids draping lazily and shoulders dropped. Leaning back on his palms with his legs spread.
“I am gentle.”
“Sure.”
You focus returned to his wound, grabbing a clean hand towel and patting his cut dry, gently.
The occasional hiss or moan would interrupt you, but other than that Miles stayed relatively quiet. Watching you work as you fixed him.
“There, all done.”
“Not gonna kiss it better?”
You huffed, amused as you started to put everything back where it belonged. You could change the sheets and dispose of the hand-towels tomorrow, right now he just wanted you.
Miles grabbed your waist as you stood, hands slipping behind you to shove you forward into him. He buried his face into your stomach and sighed. You giggled lightly, the lack of a smile on his face tagged with the need for your touch was something no one but you could get used to. Your hand slowly trailed up his bare back, nails scratching lightly at his skin. He shivered, tightening his hold on you further.
“Lay down, baby.”
He whispered your name, “Chiquita, you take such good care of me.”
Humming, you unhooked his arms from you and pushed him to lie back by the tips of your fingers.
“Gon’ spoil you after this.”
You grabbed the towel, surprisingly dry and dropped it to the floor with the other discarded items.
“You already spoil me, Papi.”
Miles kicked off his shoes, sparing you a glance and a hum at the endearment.
“‘S’cause you deserve it.”
He unbuckled his belt, threading it out through the loops and threw it to land somewhere. You dragged the corner of the quilt back up to the both of you, stopping halfway. Miles sighed in annoyance, huffing at his pant button and cursing it as he fumbled to pull his pants down.
You giggled, “Need help, baby?” He scoffed lightheartedly. “I got it.”
“Mhm.” He eventually did get it, pulling his pants off and over his legs, coughing slightly at the wind crushing his cut had caused him.
“C’mere mami.” He grabbed your thighs, dragging you on top of him. “Mm—“ “Shh, it don’t hurt.” You let yourself relax slightly, mostly leaning on your need as not to hurt him.
The stars in his eyes as he looked up at you, he sighed quietly.
“It’s hot baby, we’re gonna get all sweaty.”
“Hopefully.”
“Miles.”
You rolled your eyes in a laugh, hooking your arms around his neck and leaning down to kiss his forehead. “Mm, there. Now you’re all better.”
He rubbed shapes into your thighs, loving the proximity. The way your breaths mingled and skin stuck together.
He thanked the Moon and the Stars for letting him keep you, begged every day to anyone out there that could hear him to tether your souls and kill him have he ever lose you. Would kill a million men to keep you safe, and he’d already had a running start.
He cleansed himself of his sins with your love, showering in the light you provided for him, and watched the blood of any man drip from his fingertips and into the rivers you’d created in his veins. Letting it mix with his own and beat by the tone of his heart. Which only ever raced for you. Only beat for you. He could only live for you, your love and acceptance.
Of which Miles would never understand why you loved him, and he would never try to.
“Much.”
He laid down, you following. Lying your head on his chest and listening to his breathing stutter at the contact.
It was late now, far later than a healthy time to finally sleep. But nothing could break the bubble of ease that now seemed to suffocate him. Lulling him into a slumber with his love against his heart.
—
first fic shoulllllf probably be fluff b4 i angst again
as angst is all i’m good for
i literally don’t know how to write fluff so pray it was good
IF ANY TRANSLATIONS WRONG PLESASSSSSE CORRECT ME
We’ll find the moon lit nights strangely empty because when you call my name through them there would be no awswer rather melodramatic aren’t you?
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