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Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Man’s Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage

The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”.  Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?  

Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures.  They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom.  Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”.  With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner.  Is this really true, though?  Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”?  Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?  

Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night.  While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.  

As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually.  This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive.  So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?

He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It

As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”.  We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why?  Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there.  So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”.  Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women.  Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?

For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered.  Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy.  It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy.  It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again.  Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.

The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it

You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”.  I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t.  That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.

Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us.  These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”.  It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.  

So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways.  Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”.  Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.  This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation.  Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc.  These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.  

The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You

Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here…  The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you.  His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed.  I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were.  I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.  

We’re women.  We are strong and capable and we are smart.  And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be.  Where do we want to be?  We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.  

Happy Hotwifing!

-S

How to Properly "Edge"  Him

The real art with  “Edging"   is to learn exactly how to get him as close as possible to an explosion without actually Allowing him to erupt. If you pay close attention while you fondle and play, you’ll learn precisely the clear warning signs of an imminent ejaculation. There’s nothing quite like habitual and routine  “edging”  for subliminally building a guys libido and desire. Not only will he cherish you more, thanks to neurochemistry, but within a short timeframe his vulnerable and exploitable mind will be totally under your feminine control…

Here are some tips:

1 - Make him always tell you exactly how close he is. Kind of obvious, but Insist that he tells you when to slow down and when to stop. Especially in the beginning while you’re learning how to read his body language. Keep talking to him, ask him how it feels, what is best. You’ll soon get the feel of it and he’ll love you even more for it…

2 - Feel for his body and muscles tensing, him holding his breath, arching his back or even tensing, all are signs he’s getting very close. Learn to read and understand the signs and don’t worry if you go over, you’re learning. Just be sure it’s a libido-building ruined orgasm…

3 - Move from strong to soft strokes, from his vein filled shaft up to his tip constantly. Change it up, take your time and make sure you get him ultra rock hard for maximum dopamine production in his vulnerable brain… I personally like lots of lube and oil and fast but not too tight of strokes, and then as he gets closer and closer, move to a looser grip and then focus on his hypersensitive head and frenulem (the strip underneath the head at the top where guys are most sensitive). Also take breaks frequently. It’s better to stop one second too early than one second too late, stroke - edge - deny - repeat…

4 - Make it ultimately his fault if he erupts. So again, if he does explode make sure you properly ruin it. Stop all rubbing and stimulation as soon as he starts to climax. Or if he’s tied down, you turn it into a post orgasm torture, after the ruined orgasm, where you use his slippery cum as lube to keep rubbing his hypersensitive Joystick, scolding him by saying: you’re so naughty, I didn’t give you permission to cum…

5 - When you do want to enjoy his pent up explosions, make that part of the tease too. When you’re planning to make him climax and erupt, this is a great time to also practice your edging techniques. Use it as an opportunity to see just how crazy you can make him, where you’re not worrying about accidently taking him over the edge…

6 - Oh and you can add a wonderfully sadistic element with this line: If you can hold on for just five minutes more my love, I won’t ruin it when you do cum, okay baby…

Thanks to FemdomDoneRight (on tumblr) for this effective mindfuck and programming tool.

Extra notes by: HerIntoxicatingBodyOnMyMind

1 - Routine is critical.  Edge Him Every Day.  For best results: One short session (15 minutes) every other morning; one medium-length session (20-30 minutes) every evening before bed; and at least one long session (40+ minutes) every weekend.  If this seems like a lot of time, consider how much time you spend alone doing things you wish he was interested in (like watching your favorite shows on Netflix).  This is one activity he will eagerly join.  Edging is addictive to male neurochemistry, and it very specifically addicts him to you, as long as you do it regularly.  The more you do it, the more deeply he bonds to you, and the more he will crave spending time with you throughout the day.  This feeds on itself, and before long, your nightly “quality time” together becomes perfectly natural for both of you.  Even if you’re already in love, married, and devoted to each other, your connection can still go deeper - and the fire of wilder days can be rekindled.  No more going to bed alone!  Also, any time spent having sex or pleasuring you can count toward his edge time. (at your discretion) Daily orgasms for you, his heat beside you as you drift to sleep, and an eager, attentive lover totally addicted to your touch - what’s not to love?  No matter how busy or tired you are, you both have the time for this, I promise.  Do it for a week, and you will start making time for it.

2 - Edge him more than once.  For most, this is obvious. But for some new to edging, it needs to be said.  Don’t just edge him once and assume you’re done.  Depending on his stamina (and how long it’s been since his last orgasm) it can take a while to build him up to his first edge of the night.  It’s important to think of it that way: “first edge of the night.”  Because once you’ve guided him to his edge - and stopped - he is still highly aroused, and edging him again becomes easy.  All that build-up was time invested to get him to his most blissful state.  Now “cash in” your investment and keep him there, by edging him over and over again.  It should be easy.  A single, slow, tight pump is sometimes enough.  Watch his reaction and enjoy the show! (Women report that this is usually their favorite part - guiding their loved one from edge to edge with subtle touches, watching him, and knowing the exquisite gift he trusts only her to give.)

3 - Keep him guessing.  Every single time you touch his cock, he should never know if you intend to edge him, ruin him, or give him a full orgasm.  Lie to him.  Tell him you’re going to stop, then don’t.  Or tell him you’re going to ruin him, then give him a full orgasm.  Or congratulate him on the orgasm you’re about to give him, then “change your mind” and stop for the night.  This only works if you also sometimes tell the truth.  Once he learns you are unpredictable, his body will naturally prepare for orgasm, (every time!) giving him the rush he craves - while his mind reels in fear of the alternatives.  You are fucking his mind, in addition to his body - in a very good way! Watch how he reacts - from the curl of his toes to the flare in his eyes.  It’s incredibly hot.

4 - A “ruined” orgasm is when you let go and cease all stimulation, a split second before he climaxes.  His cum will sort of just leak out, and it’s not as satisfying as a full orgasm.  “Ruined” is a misnomer, though, because he still gets some small pleasure from it, so don’t be afraid to ruin him regularly.  He might thrash, beg, or try to finish it himself, so this is a good time to playfully experiment with restraints - something as simple as tying his wrists together behind his back with a belt or necktie will do the trick.  The important difference between a ruined and regular orgasm is that the male libido does not diminish after a ruined orgasm.  He will stay horny, eager, erect, and attentive, as though he had no orgasm at all, and you can continue playing, if you wish, after a short break.  You can even ruin him twice in one night - the second one is usually harder to achieve, though.

NSFW questions to ask based on your phone battery %

1% How many people have you had sex with?

2% Can you remember the names of everyone you’ve slept with?

3% With whom did you first do the sexytimes? Was it good?

4% What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?

5% What’s the worst sex you’ve ever had?

6% Where’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex?

7% Where’s the most unusual place you’ve masturbated?

8% Have you ever been caught doing the sexytimes?

9% If you masturbate, when did you start, and how?

10% Have you ever been caught masturbating?

11% How would you describe your sexuality using only adjectives (describing words–busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.)?

12% Have you ever been in a queer relationship?

13% Have you ever been in a straight relationship?

14% If you aren’t straight, how and when did you realise you weren’t?

15% Are you out to everyone you know?

16% Where do you meet queer folks to date? Do you find it difficult?

17% If your parents know about your sexuality, how did they react?

18.% Does your best friend know about your sexuality? How did they react?

19% Describe your first queer kiss.

20% What’s the queerest shit you’ve ever done?

21% Are you happy with your body?

22% What’s the raddest part of your bod, and why?

23% What do you do with your body hair (pubes, underarms, legs, etc.)?

24% Do you have stretch marks? Where?

25% Describe your nipples in too much detail.

26% Cut or uncut? For girls do you have a preference?

27% Longest dry streak after you lost your virginity?

28% Describe your size, Guys penis, girls breasts

29% Have you tasted your self? Did you like it?

30% Favorite body part on your preferred sex?

31% Describe your most unusual/taboo fantasy.

32% Do you fantasise more about real situations, or imaginary/impossible ones?

33% Who’s the oddest person you’ve fantasised about?

34% Do you ever find yourself fantasising absent-mindedly, or is it something you do on purpose?

35% Do you always fantasise while you masturbate?

36% When you fantasise, does it usually lead to masturbation?

37% Have you ever had sex with someone while fantasising about someone else?

38% Do you have any celebrity crushes that you fantasise about?

39% Have you ever fantasised about something by accident, and felt weird about it after?

40% Describe your most sexy fantasy.

41% How do you feel about BDSM?

42% What’s your most unusual kink?

43% In an SM context, do you prefer giving pain, or receiving it?

44% Do you consider yourself to be dominant, submissive, both, or neither?

45% Describe your most recent bondage experience.

46% In a BDSM context, have you ever referred to anyone as “daddy,” “mommy,” or any similar term?

47% Do you have a kink for any bodily fluids (pee, saliva, blood, tears, cum, etc.)?

48% Have you ever revealed a kink to someone and had them react negatively?

49% Do you have any kinks that you’re ashamed of?

50% How much money have you spent on equipment for your kinks (toys, whips, chains, etc.)?

51% Do you like squirting

52% Have you ever come solely from penetration (anal or vaginal)?

53% Can you have an orgasm without your genitals being touched?

54% Describe how you like your genitals to be touched.

55% How sensitive are your nipples? Does nipple play turn you on?

56% Do you find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation?

57% Have you ever had an orgasm that you weren’t expecting?

58% Do you get off easier from rough contact, or gentle?

59% What’s the best orgasm you’ve ever had?

60% Did it take you a while to have your first orgasm, or were you an early starter?

61% Do you enjoy giving oral sex? Why?

62% What’s your favourite position in which to receive oral?

63% Describe your oral sex technique.

64% Do you find it easier to give oral to someone with the same genital configuration as you (eg., you both own vaginas/both own penises), or different?

65% Describe the worst oral sex you’ve ever received.

66% Describe the best oral sex you’ve ever received.

67% Do you ever simulate oral sex while masturbating (sucking on dildos etc.)?

68% How sensitive is your mouth? Is it an erogenous zone, for you?

69% Do you like 69ing?

70% Can you deep-throat?

71% Do you like it in the butt?

72% What’s the strangest object you’ve had in your butt?

73% Do you enjoy being rimmed?

74% Can you take a lot in your butt, or just a little?

75% Describe your most recent experience with buttsex.

76% Do you like doing stuff to other people’s butts?

77% (Prostate-owners) Have you ever received a prostate massage?

78% Do you own any buttplugs?

79% Have you ever had an embarrassing buttsex experience?

80% Have you ever pegged someone (ie., worn a strapon and fucked them in the butt)?

81% Do you have sex with music in the background

82% Have you ever had sex with more than one person?

83% Have you ever had an orgy? Would you?

84% Do you enjoy watching your partner(s) having sex with others?

85% Lights on or off?

86% Do you own any sex toys

87% Have you or would you ever do a gangbang?

88% Have you ever teamed up with someone and given a double blowjob/double cunnilingus?

89% Have you ever been penetrated by more than one person at the same time?

90% Have you ever been ejaculated on by more than one person at the same time?

**BONUS DARES**

91% Post a selfie.

92% Post a naked selfie.

93% Tag your biggest tumblr crush.

94% Post your follower count.

95% Press ctrl-v, and post whatever comes up.

96% Tag your top five followers.

97% Post your most recent Facebook status here.

98% Post the last SMS you received.

99% Post the last SMS you sent.

100% Your choice of question

Kinky Would You Rathers

Would you rather be given an enema or have a urethral sound used on you?

Would you rather give oral while being fucked or receive oral while being whipped?

(Female) Would you rather sleep with a vibrator in both holes or with nipple clamps suspended the the ceiling so you can’t roll over?

(Male) Would you rather sleep with a vibrator in your ass and a vibrating cock ring on or with nipple clamps suspended the the ceiling so you can’t roll over?

Would you rather be bent over and fucked or pushed against a wall and fucked?

Would you rather be fucked by five people continually all night or be denied any sexual action for a month?

(Female) Would you rather use a dildo or your fingers to give yourself an orgasm?

(Male) Would you rather use a pocket pussy or your hands to make yourself cum?

Would you rather wear a diaper or have to ask to go to the bathroom every time?

Would you rather have anal beads or nipple clamps used on you?

Have your partner tease you all over your body with hot wax or ice cubes?

Would you rather only ever have sex in a bed or only be able to have sex anywhere but a bed?

Would you rather sleep in a cage or chained to the side of a bed.

Would you rather never give oral again or never receive oral again?

Would you rather spend a day sat on a fat dildo or a day in suspension?

Would you rather be blindfolded or gagged?

Would you rather wear nipple clamps or clamps on the tip of your cock? 

Would you rather wear nipple clamps or a clamp on your clit?

Would you rather be hit a few times with a cane or lots of times with a paddle?

Would you rather be put in predicament bondage for an hour or light bondage for 5?

Would you rather be edged ten times or have two ruined orgasms?

Would you rather spend the day with a large almost painful plug in your ass or two with a small one that you have to edge yourself with every time you use the restroom?

(Males) Would you rather be led around on a leash connected to a locking butt-plug or to a cock and ball ring?

(Females) Would you rather be led around on a leash connected to a locking butt-plug or to a clover clamp on your clit

Would you rather have two cocks up your ass or one in your ass and one in your mouth?

Would you rather be milked dry then given a dry orgasm or be allowed two ruined ones? 

Would you rather be denied an orgasm or be given so many it hurts?

(Male) Would you rather wear a cock ring and a vibrating buttplug for an hour without being allowed to cum, or a cock ring and large, long buttplug that stroked your prostate for an hour without being allowed to cum?

(Female) Would you rather have a butt plug and a dildo inserted for a 3 hours without being able to cum or vibrating ones in for an hour without being able to cum?

Would you rather wear a breast harness or a crotch rope?

Would you rather have a small soapy enema or a large plain one?

Would you rather have ginger placed in your ass or tiger balm on your gentiles?

(Female) Would you rather be hit on your anus or your clit?

Would you rather be zapped with a wand or touched with stinging nettles?

Would you rather spit or swallow cum?

(Male) Would you rather have your balls stretched or crushed?

Would you rather be made to wear ballet heels all the time or to crawl all the time?

#halloween# happy Halloween to all 😍

Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

Couples Race Challenge

It’s time for another challenge!

This one is for the couples or for your next hookup or any one who has someone to play with. Whether your straight, bi, or gay, I hope you enjoy this one.

What you’ll need: 1. You 2. An opponent 3. A vibrator (Preferably a high power vibrator such as a magic wand)

The object of the challenge is simple, you’re going to race to cum. The winner will be the person who holds out longer and the loser the person who cums first. The loser will be punished accordingly.

To do this you and your partner will sit facing each other in a scissoring position. You will each hold the vibrator in between you so that it is pressed against both her clitoris and his frenulum (the part of the underside of the penis where the head of the meets the shaft). This can also be done with two girls or two guys simply place the vibrator clit to clit or frenulum to frenulum. Make sure you are both sufficiently hard and/or wet before starting the race. You can start the vibrator on high right out of the gate or start it on low and build up speed, that’s up to you and your partner. Make sure to keep the vibrator in the correct position for the duration.

As stated before, the first person to cum is the loser. The punishment can be up to you and your partner. Some ideas could be something like these:

If the guy loses: 1. Force him to lick up his mess. 2. A weeks worth of ruined orgasms. 3. Dress him up in your lingerie. 4. Time spent in chastity. 5. Wear women’s underwear for a week. 6. CBT 7. A weeks worth of daily edging. No release until after the week is up. 8. Oral sex on demand. 9. Daily masturbation without use of hands. 10. Threesome with another guy. 11. Cuckolding

If the girl loses: 1. A week of permanently inserted buttplug. 2. A week in a costume of other winner’s choice. 3. Oral sex on demand. 4. Daily masturbation without use of hands. 5. Road head on demand. 6. Public sex on demand. 7. Spanks, clamps, and light abuse. 8. Daily edging. No release for one week. 10. Threesome with another girl. 11. Reverse cuckolding.

As always SHARE your stories! Let us know how it went and what you chose as your punishment!Submit pictures and videos of the race and of your punishment! Have fun and good luck!