Amatonormativity Has Destroyed So Many People's Understanding And Acceptance Of Themselves, And It's

Amatonormativity has destroyed so many people's understanding and acceptance of themselves, and it's heartbreaking.

Yes, it is normal to be in your 20s, 30s, or older and not have lost your virginity, had a first kiss, or a partner. It is normal to say that you aren't ready for those things, too! It is normal if your life doesn't follow the "college graduate -> engagement -> buying a home -> 2.5 kids and a dog" trajectory that so many people have idealized.

So many people associate maturity with losing your virginity, or having a first kiss, or a serious relationship, and I think that's a dangerous association. Maturity isn't gained through those things, and you don't have to have those experiences to be considered "mature" or "grown." It is not a bad thing to go at your pace. Nobody else can live your life but you. If you end up having those experiences, that's great! But it should be done because you want to experience them, not because you feel "broken" and "immature" without them.

More Posts from Rufinara and Others

1 year ago

PSA info from my therapist since I started keeping a journal:

You're not supposed to read back in it. I repeat, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO READ WHAT YOU'VE ALREADY WRITTEN. The journal is for purging thoughts and emotions, and when you read back over what you've written, you're just reintroducing those thoughts and feelings back into your head. It creates a spiral of wallowing in and perpetuating your own negative emotions, never letting yourself move past them. Reading your journal can literally make you worse.

1 year ago

It’s interesting how diseases rip through schools at incredible speeds despite being in an arguably modern, clean(ish) environment. I wonder if it has something to do with the whole “you need a doctor’s note to excuse your absence of even one day” combined with the average price of going to a doctor, the lack of education on things like “you’re still contagious even after the fever goes away”, and the overwhelming message of “if you don’t struggle through it, you’re a failure!”

2 months ago

Preach i don't know why some people can't understand

I bring a certain “disabled children are allowed to be angry at their parents for passing down genetic disabilities to them and forcing them to have to live with it their whole lives” vibe to the function that the “disability is a good thing” crowd really doesn’t like

1 year ago

I think the worst thing about this AI craze is that it will make a new generation very stupid. Like yeah learning to code is a skill but if you don't have to learn art or writing principles anymore you realize how damaging that is for a whole generation of kids right? You already hear about people forging essays and shit with AI, even science lit using AI images instead of actual correct studies.

My fear is that this goes hand in hand with the fascism coming out of the woodwork lately. The censoring of the internet, of media, etc. People are deliberately trying to keep you stupid and unable to think for yourself.

1 year ago

In case no one told you growing up

Bras last longer if you let them air dry. Don’t put them in the dryer.

If you have a problem with frizzy hair, don’t dry your hair with a towel. It makes the frizzies worse. (I recently read an article that said to use a t-shirt? I brush mine out and let it air dry.)

Whites wash best in hot water. Everything else can be in cold - save on your electricity bill.

You can kill 99.9% of germs in a sponge by putting it in the dishwasher for a cycle or by microwaving it for 2 min (be sure to make the sponge damp before microwaving and to put a cup half full of water in with it and please DO NOT squeeze the sponge until it has cooled off)

Airing out your room/house and letting sunlight in every so often can decrease the number of household pests like silverfish and ants.

Black underwear is best during your period as stains are less likely to be visible.

To save money, put aside 10% of each paycheck into a savings account. It’ll add up.

Unless your hair has something on/in it (like grease or mud or something), using conditioner first can actually be the better choice. The conditioner holds in the good oils that help you hair look sleek and beautiful, which shampoo would otherwise wash away.

Speaking of shampoo - if you have long hair, washing just the bits that touch your scalp is generally enough. The rest of your hair gets cleaned with just the run off from your scalp.

If you put a tampon in and it’s uncomfortable/you can feel it, you didn’t do it quite right. A properly placed tampon is virtually unnoticeable by the wearer.

Apply deodorant/antiperspirant a couple hours in advance of when you need it. This gives the product the chance to block your sweat glands. Using deodorant just before going somewhere where you’ll sweat (this means walking outside for people in high humidity places) results in your sweat washing the deodorant off and starkly limiting its usefulness.

After running the dryer, use the dryer sheet from that load to brush out the lint catch - it gets everything off in a fraction of the time it’ll take you to get it clean with your bare hands. Paper towels also work well.

Wash your face everyday, or as often as possible. Forget which brand of cleanser is best. Just washing your face everyday will guarantee you clearer skin. And do you best not to pop pimples, as tempting as the urge may be.

Fold laundry asap after taking it from the dryer to avoid wrinkles. This may seem obvious for dress shirts and silly for things like t-shirts, but you’ll notice the difference even then once your shirts stop looking like unfolded paper balls.

1 year ago

i do think there is a degree to which certain kinds of Instagram activists have convinced themselves that traumatising themselves in solidarity is a useful form of activism. "I'm having nightmares and crying so much I want to be sick because of all these videos of dying children but I can't look away while people are getting hurt" I mean don't you think you'd be able to help more if you weren't having nightmares and crying all the time?? don't you think this is a one-way trip to burnout? don't you think maybe increasing the amount of trauma going around is counterproductive? I dunno bro there's something to be said for bearing witness but there comes a point where you gotta look hard at yourself and go "am I helping, or am I just making myself suffer so I don't feel guilty for not suffering while somebody else is experiencing bad shit"

1 year ago

don’t!!! fake!!!! your!!!! interests!!!! to!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!

1 year ago

PSA TO ANYONE WHO DOESNT EVEN MAKE ART, DISABLE AI DATA COLLECTION ON YOUR BLOG

ART REBLOGGED TO AN ACCOUNT WITH THIS ENABLED WILL ALLOW MIDJOURNEY TO USE THE ORIGINAL POSTERS WORKS WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT

1 year ago

Sure you got your gym membership and you’re getting your body strong and stuff but what are you doing to increase your pain threshold? Gym people often overlook this vital aspect of the human anatomy. I’ve been hitting myself in the back of the head with a wrench 30 times a day for 3-4ish years I can’t even feel it anymore

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