We Have Two Unwritten Rules Here:

If Ford didn't got into the portal..

(after getting attacked by a one-episode creature) whatever that was, it's gone now...

I AM ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND AFTER READING THIS PLEASE READ IT

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

what are you guys’ most “tumblr is a website” moments

Gregory talking about Miles in ways that is making me insane

Bonus!

221b dinner / An audience with you-know-who / Gregson's happy days / Sherlock's birthday

I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference

and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”

Ace Attorney Narumitsu/Wrightworth Fanfiction Rec List

Currently I am not really in a writing mood, but in a reading mood! I promise I’ll write more fanfics soon, but these last few days I love to spend hours on finding and reading fanfics of others!

There are so many fantastic AA stories out there that need to be read by the fandom! :D

This list includes old and new written completed Narumitsu/Wrightworth fanfics! There are many amazing stories which are on hiatus or not completed, but I have not added them here.

There are a few 7-year-gap fics, this period is one of my favorites to read about!

Rated G-M. Summaries are taken from AO3 and are written by the original author.

Have fun!!!!!!!! :D

LIST WITH LINKS UNDERNEATH THE CUT

 Narumitsu (one-shots)

·         daisy test by kokiche

“Okay,” he acquiesces, lips turning up only a little. He sits up from the sofa and looks at Edgeworth, at his desk. “Back in fourth grade, toward the end of the year, Larry had told me of a way to figure out if your crush liked you back, right? It was called the daisy test.”

·         Compress by Gummysaur

Edgeworth didn’t know what he expected when he flew all the way from Europe to visit Phoenix Wright in the hospital. Certainly not this.

·         psycholocked by unsungillumination

*spoilers for trials and tribulations* the missing hospital scene from case five (bridge to the turnabout) of trials and tribulations. edgeworth arrives at the hospital in a panic only to find that phoenix’s biggest immediate problem is with the pudding. edgeworth, on the other hand, is about to acquire a bigger problem - one shaped like an attorney’s badge.

·         Yours, Mine, and Maybe Ours by estelraca

Phoenix convinces Miles to bring Trucy in with him for Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, despite Miles’ misgivings. Everything becomes even more complicated when Kay Faraday and Shi-Long Lang call on him for assistance. Set between the original trilogy and Apollo Justice; mild spoilers for both Investigations games.

·         The Walk to Tomorrow by Commander_Freddy

After all they’ve been through, it’s strange that something so important could be so simple, but for Miles and Phoenix, falling in love, at least, doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

Some stress relief fluff that I wrote purely to cheer myself up - there is literally negative plot but there is a lot of lawyers falling into the bright and bitter kind of love that can only come from a lifetime of belligerent teamwork.

·         Remember, Remember, 5th November by Carazard

Quick fluffy oneshot. Phoenix and Miles are in London on a ‘work related trip’, however it just so happens to co-inside with the local celebrations of Bonfire Night.

·         At Your Pace by Tarma_Hartley for phoenxwright

Miles and Phoenix have been dating for awhile. Miles isn’t used to physical affection and Phoenix respects that, going at the pace that Miles, himself, sets…

·         always welcome by deiectus

After the events in Hazakurain, Phoenix, shaken by the case, needs someone to talk to. He goes to Edgeworth.

·         to whom do I owe the pleasure? (Smile For Me) by Loreley

In a time of crisis, Miles Edgeworth had chosen “death”– and yet, when he came back, Phoenix forgave him. Now, when faced of a crisis of his own, what will Phoenix Wright choose? Or, when Phoenix comes to visit Miles after his disbarment, and Miles does not receive the guest he expects to. He did not think he would be spending the evening with a handsome stranger in a mask.

·         Overdue by sugawara

Miles had made foolish decisions in the past. He was not about to make them again.

·         Things I Won’t Regret by withpractice_ff

Phoenix Wright keeps his promises.

·         As You Wish by howbadcanmyficsbe

December 3, 9:47AM. Trevi Fountain. Rome, Italy. Phoenix and Edgeworth have a Roman holiday not long after Gavin’s conviction.

·         A Fool In Love (With You) by gen

Miles and Phoenix (finally, no really, after two years of being engaged) decide to tie the knot. On the day of the wedding, they are reminded of all the moments that got them there.

Narumitsu (several to many chapters)

·         Welcome Home by GouKanraku

[Occurs after the end of Trials and Tribulations] Phoenix’s apartment is getting torn down, and he is running fast out of options. However, instead of resorting to living in the woods of Kurain Valley or on Larry’s couch, he knows that there is a certain prosecutor that just might take him in. Just how hard was it for Phoenix to make himself comfortable in the home of the Demon Prosecutor? Surprisingly, it was easier than one would think…

·         Consequences by tastewithouttalent

“'Just stay for a few days,’ Phoenix pleads. ‘You don’t even have to get a hotel or anything, I have a couch you can stay on.’” Edgeworth stays on Phoenix’s couch for a few days and there are some unintended consequences.

·         To Turnabout Eternally by Ari_Alleyn

For years, Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright have fought both singly and together to protect others from injustice. When the well-guarded secret of Edgeworth’s sexuality is exposed, however, it’s up to Phoenix to remind his long-time friend and rival that everyone deserves a happy ending. Phoenix/Edgeworth.

·         Promise You’ll Stay by Valethra

The story of how Miles came to secretly live with Phoenix every time he’s in LA.

·         Surviving You by pantswarrior

Phoenix’s life falls into disarray after Zak’s trial. Luckily, he’s found someone in the aftermath who will help him get back on his feet, who will support him and never leave him… and that might not be such a good thing after all.

·         Legal Partners by Miggy

Miles Edgeworth isn’t totally sure how he ended up in this bet to demonstrate the strength of his and Phoenix Wright’s (entirely professional and platonic! really!) relationship, but he knows it’s Klavier’s fault. (Full story on FF net!)

·         Nihil Dicit by wildfillysama

Miles Edgeworth has some figuring out to do, now that he’s back and officially not dead. He’s not the only one. Between Phoenix Wright getting his life back on track and Edgeworth now apparently moonlighting as a detective, some serious decisions need to be made without the assistance of alcohol or Larry Butz. Maybe even with a little bit of maturity on both of their parts. Or not.

·         School Daze by nerdyskeleton (this is an AU)

They say being a teacher is one of the most rewarding things you can do with your life. New art teacher Phoenix Wright isn’t sure who “they” are and what kind of angelic students they must have had, because the Themis Middle School students are really something else altogether.

Lastly, some completed Narumitsu fanfics by me, if you guys are interested :)

·         A Day We Will Never Forget by atarashiishousetsuka (one-shot)

Phoenix and Miles visit Kurain village together, as Miles has decided it is time for him to finally meet his father. However, after the session he is comforted by Phoenix and it leads to more emotions than Miles had ever imagined. Sad but fluffy Narumitsu edited one-shot.

·         Actions Speak Louder Than Words by atarashiishousetsuka (one-shot)

‘I-I feel an urge…,’ the man with silver hair began. ‘An urge?’ - ‘A-an urge to… k-kiss you…’

Phoenix and Miles’ first kiss. Cute one-shot.

·         Thank You, My Turnabout by atarashiishousetsuka (21 chapters)

Phoenix Wright knows he depends too much on Miles Edgeworth ever since his disbarment. However, he has the feeling Miles relies more on him as well. This story revolves around the beginning of the disbarment of Phoenix, the adoption of Trucy, their trips to Europe, the regaining of his badge and Turnabout for Tomorrow. The friendship between the two men grows.

I’ll likely add more recs, I have read just a small part of all existing fanfics.

Perhaps I will make a recommendation list of domestic Narumitsu and platonic fanfics too :D

Please reblog and tag other AA fans who like to read Narumitsu fanfics as well!