Im So Fucking Hungry Dude I

another gravity falls animation! :3 hope yall enjoy!

He cares so much I'm crying :(

Truster - English translation of one of the short stories in the Ace Attorney Fanbook

I uncovered THE most insane pieces of 'official content' I have ever seen, and I needed to translate the whole short story because more people need to know it exists. It is legitimately more charged than most fanfiction portrayals.

The scene is primarily the hospital sequence from Bridge to the Turnabout (3-5).

As it is quite long, I had to upload it directly to AO3, so you can read it here

No word of a lie, this OFFICIAL CONTENT includes, as a TLDR:

Miles Edgeworth thirst trap.

The fact that apparently 'unnecessary feelings' have upgraded to 'deep feelings'

The line "If you’re within my reach, I’ll do everything within the power of my body and soul to save you" - which is also thought about whilst naked.

Miles Edgeworth jumping a queue, slamming down his government ID card, and absolutely pulling rank on a receptionist by threatening to mobilise the entire police force unless she tells him where Phoenix is.

Miles Edgeworth being willing to use an elevator in order to see Phoenix quicker.

Miles Edgeworth running around a hospital like an absolute lunatic.

Miles Edgeworth intently watching Phoenix as he sleeps.

Both of them described as gazing into each other's eyes nearly every other sentence.

THIS SEQUENCE???

Wright smiled and extended his hand towards Miles, who he thought hadn’t changed at all since he was last in Japan.  “Welcome home… I’ve missed you.”  Miles clasped his hand and pulled Wright’s upper body upright. Both parties were now in a sitting position on the bed. Their gazes were at a level height.  “What an incredibly sappy thing to say…

An Aristotle quote describing them as soulmates.

Miles Edgeworth chewing Phoenix the hell out for his lack of self preservation.

Miles Edgeworth stroking Phoenix's back to comfort him during a coughing fit.

Phoenix Wright, through tears, clasping Miles Edgeworth's hands and begging him to take his badge because "you're all I have."

I will never recover from this.

Some of the reasons I think Stolas is on the spectrum

(finally getting around to popping this on up too).

He has special interests & misses social cues while being happy in them.

It not really normal to be happy reading legal documents when someone's life is on the line. But Stolas is just vibing that he gets to help with his love of words. Yay him!

Stims

He stims when both happy & sad to help regulate his emotions.

His happy stims are:

*clapping when he gets to take Via to the circus, because he thinks they can enjoy it together.

He also does this with contract reading.

*He hopps up and down when his dad gives him a new books. Also when getting ready for his date with Blitz. He's just so happy he needs to hop.

His sad stims:

*are bang his head again and again about the engagement.

*He self sooves with chest strokes when Blitz says his outfit is too much.

*He hand rubs and wringing his hat when worrying about Via in LA.

Special interests

The there's that Stolas info dumps on the playdate with Blitz all about his books and about plants.

Stolas also feels he has to explain why Blitz horse joke was soo funny. And why's it so funny?

Because it's accurate. I love his little cutie.

But he's also kept up his love of plants as a major hobby now he's an adult. When most people tend to swap interests as they age.

Side bar

His comfy resting hand position is t rex hands. This tends to be an autistic thing. Also works well as an owl.

Sensory issues

Stolas appears to also have some sensory issues too. When his a child he appears to be struggling when Mr Butler touches his hair out of nowhere.

But he's fine with Blitz doing it when they're kissing. This shows a lot of trust between them.

I think it's likely sensory issues are the reason why he swaps into his comfy, very old robe, as often as he can too.

Specific communication issues

While Stolas is very good at some communication styles, he's pretty bad at others.

When the audience think it's another joke about wanting to keep a puppy; he immediately knows Blitz's is panicking the studio. And tries to get to him.

However he doesn't get that his dirty talk is way OTT, because he's mostly likely coping it from the erotica. Not lived experience.

Speaking of erotica.

There's obviously a rule that reading is allowed at the diner table. But Stolas doesn't get This book isn't appropriate to read there.

Another rule he appears to follow more rigidly than most probably would; is that when you get an appointment you wait till you're seen.

Ozzie's ment to met Stolas at noon, but doesn't make it till 4 pm because of problems with work.

Stolas is only a couple of days out of the hospital and is probably feeling horrible.

But he sticks around a minimum of 4 hours to be seen, because he feels he has to.

(I'm assuming he also got taught you turn up earlier rule, but this just a guess).

Stolas genuinely wants to do something Via will enjoy, and he's fine taking Via to stylish occult when she asks.

But didn't get it till she's crying and sad that she wasn't enjoying Loo Loo Land.

"I take it you are.. not having fun." She needs to spell it out. Sarcasm isn't easy for him to interrupt.

His was obviously thought taking his daughter and his lover out to a theme park would be a good way to introduce them.

It's the sort of plot that only works on a novellas. And that's probably when he got it from. (Probably worked great for Gabrielle and Alejandro).

These are examples of him Masking, and not understanding why it didn't work.

Stella's being dangerous to be around = take Via out somewhere for her to have fun to blow off steam.

Wanting your lover and daughter to like eachother = ask IMP to tag along as the completely unnecessary bodyguards.

He doesn't really get that flirty with his affair partner, in front of his kid while going through a divorce isn't a good idea...

He also struggles to understand when his flirting comes off as condescending too. With "ittybity imps like you" or calling him Blitzy in public. He's most likely him coping language from other goeita.

But Stolas is very good at knowing when knowing when Blitz is fine being picked up, when to reassure him with face stokes, or how to calm Blitz down from a panic attack in just a few seconds.

So it's not that he's just never learnt these skills. It's just that some communication skills are harder for him than others.

But if you disagree that fine. 🙂 I just wanted to put down some of my thoughts why I think he could be.

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

Capcom says Ace Attorney "will not be stopping, so in that sense you can look forward to what is coming"!

The full quote!

Sailing Home

prev | next [ in kofi, but it will be public in a couple of days :D ]

We all know the fact that Naruhodou (Wright) passed the bar exam to get the opportunity to face Mitsurugi (Edgeworth) in court.

This is all, as it seems at first glance, naive, a little retrospective, selfish, romantic, and so on. However, no matter how clinging to the past Naruhodou may seem, is he really that loyal and forgiving to his old childhood friend?

Nothing like that. Nah. Not a chance.

When Mitsurugi is first mentioned by Detective Itonoko in an office conversation in the Turnabout Sisters (jp. 逆転姉妹), we are given two answer options - first: Of course i don't know him, second: Of course, I know him.

If we choose the first option, the detective will tell us a little backstory about the prodigy prosecutor and express the opinion that it is strange that Naruhodou hasn't heard about him. To which Naruhodou will answer that he simply feigned ignorance and will express his opinion about the prosecutor in an internal monologue.

If we choose the second option, Naruhodou will loudly share his immodest conclusions about Mitsurugi, which will displease the detective.

Even the beginning of the meeting is accompanied by Naruhodou’s thoughts that he must not relax and show weakness, otherwise Mitsurugi will swallow him alive.

From the very beginning, Naruhodou isn't in the mood to play on emotions and press on pity, instead preparing himself for the worst.

He understands that time spent together in childhood is not an argument or a reason to start a conversation.

The entire court hearing is accompanied by Naruhodou's evaluative comments about Mitsurugi - he curses him, out loud questions some of the actions of the prosecutor (updated autopsy report), calls and interrogates inconvenient witnesses for the prosecution (Mitsurugi doesn't want me to question the witness, but I don't care), answers him with the same barbs (Wasn't it you who told me "proof is everything"? Well, I was listening.), denounces the collusion of the prosecution with the witnesses, protests against the postponement of the hearings in order to prevent manipulation of the evidence, in general, by any means, unbalances Mitsurugi.

He is literally: Is there something you don’t like? I don't care.

In the next case - Turnabout Samurai (jp. 逆転のトノサマン), Detective Itonoko is angry at Naruhodou for upsetting the prosecutor, but his response is not remorseful: "Umm... so?"

During the first day of the hearing, Naruhodou literally laughs at the confrontation between the prosecution and his own witness ("Wow, old windbag has left even Mitsurugi speechless. She's good!" or "Mitsurugi found himself a worthy opponent"). He also sincerely doesn't understand why Mitsurugi’s behavior has changed, and he seems out of place, but he doesn't stop creating problems for the prosecution.

He doesn't soften towards him until the Turnabout Goodbyes (jp. 逆転、そしてサヨナラ), in which Mitsurugi becomes his client, and even later, when they begin to build a trusting relationship, Naruhodou does not make concessions for Mitsurugi and does not bend under his pressure.

So, Naruhodou did pass a very difficult exam to gain access to the courtroom, but he essentially created a hopeless situation for Mitsurugi. In the conditions of the court hearing, the prosecutor had no other chance than to listen to the arguments of the defense. Naruhodou may not have addressed Mitsurugi directly at first, saying that his ideology was terrible, but he did, proving with his words and actions right in the halls of the law that this is not how things are done and there is a limit to cruelty. He calmly used the letter of the law and jurisprudence - the language that Mitsurugi respects and lives by.

Defeat your opponent with his own weapon when you think he is wrong.

Naruhodou is a stubborn, purposeful, and quite strict person of character who lives without regrets, takes big risks, and doesn't allow himself to relax in any difficult situation.

He is gorgeous.

P.S. I don’t have some screenshots from the court and from the office because I don’t have the English version of the game, and in the video the author did not check all the options (I don’t blame the author, thank her for screenrecord)