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mister bunny’s trying a new parenting trick

bonus:

I am always on some level thinking about Lan Sizhui’s trauma, and this was only compounded for me on this rewatch, because I’d forgotten just how absolutely abysmal Wei Wuxian’s mental health is during the burial mounds farming commune stretch of the show. Just extraordinary emotionally volatile, prone to angry outbursts, and with the capacity to drop from soaring enthusiasm to plunging despair at the drop of a hat. And they’re all living in such close quarters that his erratic moods and unacknowledged trauma that he’s stewing in just kind of spills over into the overall environment.

And certainly Wei Wuxian is great with a-Yuan, and is a positive influence for him in many ways! But none of them are living in an optimal environment - they’re struggling to get by, and frequently short on food - and Wei Wuxian in particular has an entire festering host of Issues that the current situation is only exacerbating. He’s living in a place that traumatized him, and to some extent he feels trapped there - he chose to help the Wens, but now that he’s made that decision, there’s no going back, and he explicitly knows he has no other options at this point. He misses his family and Lan Zhan. He’s practicing a brand of magic that is wreaking havoc on his temperament and eating him from the inside, and he’s gone through a voluntary but nonetheless pretty traumatizing kind of body modification. He can’t be expected to function at his best, or do as right by the people in his life as he could if he were in a healthier place.

So of course a-Yuan is affected by this! He can tell that one of his favourite people is frequently stressed, that his moods are easily ruined by little interferences, and that he’s sad for reasons that are hard for a little kid to comprehend. a-Yuan gets yelled at for uprooting a lotus plant by accident - and sees Wei Wuxian, rather than try to replant it, declare the venture hopeless (you have to be careful what you do, all the time, because he’s always hovering over a pit of despair and any little thing could flip the switch!). a-Yuan witnesses Wei Wuxian become physically violent towards Wen Ning after the JZX stabbing fiasco. For most of that outburst, a-Yuan is crying in the background after getting a truly terrifying glare from Wei Wuxian. 

Sharing an environment with someone who does not have access to the kind of coping mechanisms they need - and compounded with the fact that a-Yuan has already gone through a considerable amount of trauma due to being a war crime survivor at an incredibly young age - is it really any wonder that teen Sizhui has so many people pleasing impulses? Is so accommodating and acquiescent and pacifying, so inclined to mediate and de-escalate? I see people saying that it’s a wonder that Sizhui turned out so well compared to everyone else, but imo the way he turned out makes complete sense, and I don’t think that his interpersonal behaviour is entirely healthy either.

For me, what exemplifies it the most is this little exchange when they’re at the restaurant with Lan Wangji:

Wei Wuxian gets upset when the topic of Jin Zixuan comes up and slams his jug on the table in a sudden burst of anger; a-Yuan reaches out and gently puts his hand on his arm. It’s a very sweet gesture, but in in the context of everything else, there’s also something unnerving about it to me, in the sense that this toddler really seems to have internalized that it’s his responsibility to manage the emotions of his caregiver.

Aaaand what do we seem him do, in episode 2, as a teenager? Once again feeling responsible for managing the emotions of people older than he is; jumping in to bail Lan Wangji out of his extremely petty vow of silence by engaging in diplomacy for him and defusing a conflict based on a grudge that he doesn’t have the context for. 

And I think that his relationship with Lan Wangji also compounded these same issues for him. When Lan Wangji comes out of seclusion and starts being a major figure in Sizhui’s life, he’s still pretty freshly grieving. Sizhui is likely one of the few bright spots in his life, and I’m betting Sizhui picked up on that, if perhaps only subconsciously, and developed a deeply protective impulse towards Hanguang-jun. Once again, feeling responsible for managing an adult caregiver’s mood. And again, of course Lan Wangji had plenty of positive impacts on Sizhui, and was overall a force for good in his life. But both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have their own baggage that they’re not super great at coping with, and that has an unavoidable impact on Sizhui’s development as well. 

In a visual medium especially, a large part of a character is how they look. Like, looks can be deceiving and aren’t everything about a character, obviously, but ALSO: by making a character look a certain way (especially in the character’s daily life) the creator is (whether they know it or not) saying that that character is (usually) choosing to look a certain way. 

Clothes, accessories, make-up, and hair can suggest any number of things about a person’s character. It can be a very useful tool in any story. Personal presentation can suggest things about a character’s gender, profession, religion, sexuality, personal wealth, native culture, and personality (and more). 

Which is, I think, why a lot of female characters are sort of… I don’t want to say “broken”… but their execution has ruined their concept? (This isn’t exclusive to female characters, male characters can also suffer from unsupported unrealistic appearances, but female characters definitely suffer more.) 

You have these female characters who are supposed to be relatable, realistic women, right? But you look at their perfectly curled-and-styled, super long hair and you see hours of hair-care. And you look at their perfectly made-up faces and you see at least a dozen different make-up products and at least a half-hour in the bathroom every morning. And you look at their figures and you see a strict diet and hours in the gym every week, and you see shaving or waxing, and you see well-maintained mani-pedis. And you look at their outfits and you see designer names and special tailoring, and an enormous closet somewhere in their apartment to store all this, and someone who has the time and energy for perfectly done, sorted, and ironed laundry (and is obviously not doing anything remotely physical or dangerous in those heels). 

Which would be fine if that was an intentional visual statement about the character! There are women who put that sort of time/energy/money into their appearance! There are magical and non-human characters (male and female and neither) who can just snap their fingers to look perfect, and I buy it no problem! I get that! 

But this gets done even with female characters who are supposed to be absent-minded workaholics, poor working single mothers, nerdy shut-ins, take-no-shit tomboys, post-apocalyptic survivors, and even faux-medieval warriors who shouldn’t have the time or resources for that level of personal grooming! And even with aliens and non-humans who shouldn’t know to decide to care! 

So you have these “everyday” women with busy lives, but who somehow manage to keep an unrealistic level of personal grooming in absurd situations, and they… become visually unreal. Especially when (even if they are canonically said to care about maintaining a certain appearance) they’re often never shown putting in ANY of the time or effort it would take to manage their appearance (show me their skincare routine, show me them at the gym, show me them doing laundry)! They look like they stepped out of a magazine (often so “perfect” that they’re frankly bland, actually), but it’s not factored into their personality or background or their lives? 

“I don’t wear make-up,” says the female character who is played by an actress very obviously done-up with eyeliner. “I don’t wear make-up,” says the female character who is drawn as though she is permanently wearing lipstick. There are no bad hair days and no laundry days and no moments of imperfection. What the character might be saying is immediately invalidated by the visuals. 

These female characters don’t feel like women so much as they feel like impossible creatures the creator has pretending to be pretty women. They feel fake. They feel like their purpose by the creator is to pander to pervs and unrealistic beauty standards. Especially when they’re sent into combat situations with skintight/revealing outfits with no support and loose hair that’s a blatant liability (and the creators even make them bleed prettily sometimes which is related but different conversation). It’s a stark announcement (intentional or not, knowingly done or not) of the creator’s ignorance and apathy towards women and the choices involved in female self-presentation.

And it makes it… difficult… for me personally to relate to certain female characters sometimes, even when I care about these female characters and WANT to care about these female characters. Their character design is, by their visual appearance and lack of narrative support for that appearance, broken. They’re not grounded in any reality. The suspension of disbelief required can be… a lot. 

sorry if i’m being a party pooper but because rabies is apparently the new joke on here ??? please remember that rabies has an almost 100% fatality rate after symptoms develop so if you’re bitten or scratched by an animal that you aren’t 100% sure is vaccinated then GO TO A DOCTOR. it’s not a joke. really. 

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another list of gfms that have reached out to me recently, so sorry for taking a while to share these, been pretty busy with school and stuff, i tried to make this one as eye catching as possible because its pretty long

pt/another list of gfms that have reached out to me recently, so sorry for taking a while to share these, been pretty busy with school and stuff, i tried to make this one as eye catching as possible because its pretty long /end pt

unfortunately i can’t donate to any of them as im a minor, apologies for that, but ill try to spread these as much as possible

✧ 🍉 → @nadoosha-sd - gfm link - $575 USD raised of $25,000 goal - vetted

✧ 🍉 → @basharal-habil - gfm link - vetted - €335 raised of €50,000

✧ 🍉 → @fatma-anqer - gfm link - vetted - €8,304 raised of €20,000

✧ 🍉 → @malakabed - gfm link - vetted - €6,312 raised of €25,000

✧ 🍉 → @lamahourani7 - gfm link - vetted - $2,170 USD raised of $10,000

✧ 🍉 → @ashraf-baker5 - gfm link - €22,277 raised of €25,000 - vetted

✧ 🍉 → @jehad-aldahdooh - unvetted but likely legit - gfm link - €82 raised of €20,000

✧ 🍉 → @ahmed-mohammed1 - vetted - gfm link - €5,860 raised of €30,000

✧ 🍉 → @yasmine-2000 - vetted - gfm link - £2,957 raised of £50,000

✧ 🍉 → @abedallhferwanagaza - gfm link - €4,881 raised of €35,000 - vetted(?)

✧ 🍉 → @mohammedayyads-blog - vetted - gfm link - €2,066 raised of €35,000

✧ 🍉 → @odayalanqar-2002 - gfm link - vetted - €3,895 raised of €50,000

✧ 🍉 → @ahmad-syam-blog - gfm link - $3,956 raised of $40,000 - vetted

✧ 🍉 → @motaz352 - vetted - gfm link - kr45,909 SEK raised of kr250,000

✧ 🍉 → @ayman-ps1 - vetted - gfm link - €2,699 raised of €15,000

✧ 🍉 → @ahmadallouh32 - unvetted but likely legit - gfm link - €2,217 raised of €50,000

✧ 🍉 → @palestinian0 - unvetted but likely legit - gfm link - kr6,197 NOK raised of kr200,000

✧ 🍉 → @jomana-ha - gfm link - vetted(?) - $14,376 USD raised of $60,000

✧ 🍉 → @majedgaza1 - gfm link - $4,750 USD raised of $70,000 - vetted(?)

✧ 🍉 → @emanabosedo - vetted by association - gfm link - $787 USD raised of $50,000

✧ 🍉 → @ahmedmatatsblog - unvetted but likely legit - gfm link - €655 raised of €64,000

✧ 🍉 → @hamudachif - vetted by association - gfm link - £90 raised of £5,000

✧ 🍉 → @aya-alanqar - vetted - gfm link - €12,150 raised of €15,000

✧ 🍉 → @jehad-aldahdooh - unvetted but likely legit - gfm link - €82 raised of €20,000

✧ 🍉 → @farahh2003 - gfm link - vetted - £3,107 raised of £50,000

pls rb and donate if you can!! dont stop talking about palestine 🇵🇸💚!!

pt/pls rb and donate if you can!! dont stop talking about palestine/end pt

I SUPER LOVE TIM AND CASSANDRA BECAUSE:

they went from stranger (hell yeah Timothy avoid Cass because he felt intimidated by Cass’ assassin background) to friends 

Cass is always ready to rescue help Timothy

she took care of Tim and worried about him, not only because the big brood Bat told her so but she did it on her own accord too

while Tim took care of her too, they took care of each other and I love it so much

CASSANDRA IS TIM’S FAMILY. I REPEAT CASSANDRA IS ONE OF TIM’S PRECIOUS FAMILY

TIM WON’T LET GO, HE WON’T LET CASS GO. SHE’S FAMILY.

AND TIM IS A DEAR PERSON FOR CASSANDRA TOO. SHE EVEN ASKED TIM TO JOIN HER BECAUSE IT WAS HER DREAM. CASS WON’T LET TIM UNDER THE BAT BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT THE BAT WILL USE HIM LIKE HOW CAIN USED HER. CASSANDRA WILL MISS TIM

AND TIM WILL MISS HER TOO.

EVEN WHEN CASS BEING A VILLAIN (brainwashed by Deathstroke), TIM WON’T LET ANYONE HURT HER

AND AFTER SHE CAME BACK, TIM IS THE ONE WHO STILL TRUSTS HER AND DEFENDS HER, WHEN NIGHTWING CLEARLY SHOWS HIS DISTRUST.

EVEN THE BIG (A**HOLE) BROODING BAT DOUBTS HER WHEN SHE WENT MISSING, TIM STILL TRUSTS AND DEFENDS HER. TIM BELIEVE HER.

HAVE I SAID THAT TIM ALWAYS BELIEVE HER AND DEFEND HER? YES, I HAVE AND HE DOES. 

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, THE PEAK OF IT: CASS LEFT GOTHAM BUT TIM STILL REMINDS HER THAT SHE WILL ALWAYS BE HIS FAMILY, THAT HE ALWAYS GOT CASS’ BACK. HE GIVES HER HER NEW PERSONA (which the main reason I love Black Bat so much, because there is a beautiful history behind it).

THIS IS THE END OF MY ESSAY, PLEASE LOVE THEM.

look I know this looks like shit but I saw this tiktok and just. had to Jin Sibs it.

Mo Xuanyu loves this shit because he’s a gremlin who thrives off causing chaos. 

Qin Su is in the weird position of being the JGS Bastard Elephant In The Room that the wider Jin family don’t really want to acknowledge, but also don’t want to upset in case she causes any more scandal, so for her, Jin family gatherings are low risk, high entertainment value. 

Jin Zixuan struggles, because he was brought up to respect and care about the opinions of these people… but he also knows they’re awful… but he also hates drama and rocking the boat… but he also hates seeing his siblings treated shittily… mostly he is on Interrupt In A Loud And Timely Manner If People Are Being Assholes To Meng Yao duty

Meng Yao objectively has the worst time because he has basically designated himself the person who runs Interference for the siblings at gatherings, and he also really fucking hates confrontation, so does his best to keep the peace no matter how awful their relatives are to him… up until a point, when he’s exhausted enough not to give a shit anymore, and he retreats to a bathroom with a bottle of wine in each hand and his boyfriends on speed dial, and tells Xuanyu to do his worst. 

more in this AU

Robins

Phew that took WAY too long for just a doodle. But anyway, uh here they are.