STAR WARS LO-FI PLAYLIST

By: imaikuA3 (twitter)

I👏🏻LOVE👏🏻THIS👏🏻 😻💚

RIP. Aaron Bushnell I hope I can help spread your message like wildfire

and yet the world is silent…

How would zyx have handled being born in the canon sects?

my brain is mush, but let’s give this a shot. in no particular order...

Yunmeng Jiang: 

Comes over as part of the Meishan Yu side courtesy of Madame Yu, as Yu Lin 虞琳 (no courtesy name, same lin character as in DBD). 

Freaks out when she Realizes some realizations.

And then it’s down to business because she fucking lives here now, it’s her fucking house and it’s going to fucking catch fire.

Due to precociousness and competence from of being Done since birth, she’s trained as the successor of Jinzhu/Yinzhu for JC. 

Pre-WWX arrival, she sticks to teaching/providing emotional and mental support to the Jiang sibs so they don’t end up so screwed by their parents.

(Secretly works with JYL to help her cultivation bc fuck that noise.)

Once WWX arrives, she ends up tag-teaming with JYL to keep the peace. WWX ends up treating her like Shijie #2 - especially when he starts to cultivate and notices that she knows a lot more than she lets on.

WWX: “Lin-jiejie! Play with Xianxian!” JC: “Wei Wuxian, have you no shame? Even our shimei is more well-behaved than you!” WWX: “Our... what?”

(Still younger than everyone, but she never says anything. Conceal don’t feel.)

Overall: more emotionally stable and patient, Exhausted(TM), and much more reserved. Can’t wait to fuck off somewhere.

If the Golden Core transfer thing is going to happen, it’s not going on her watch - she’d knock WWX out, let JC take her GC instead, and then finds a nice quiet mountain to retire onto. Immortality didn’t mean much to someone that has died before. Also, the math then works out. Everything should be okay. Right?

(Obviously, no. But we’ll leave it at that.)

Lanling Jin:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Lanling Jin is... ugh. Name: Jin Zi’ai/ 金子藹 (zi as the generational character, ai for affable/luxuriant)

IDK if you know those dinner parties with your relatives when you are done with their shit by hour 2... but it’s like that 24/7. She awaits the day she’s powerful and influential enough to go feral.

The resources available to her are awful. She’s a close enough cousin that she has to see JGS’s shit all day. Deal with Jin Zixun all day. But for the sake of survival and agency, she grits her teeth and ingratiates herself with Madame Jin to get close to Jin Zixuan and get access to better cultivation education and resources.

Mme Jin cuts her a deal - if she can be useful to her son and the heir of Lanling Jin, she’ll help out on the side.

At first, JZA (god that’s so weird to see a vowel in an MXTX name abbr) is planning to just use JZX and get the fuck out.

And then his awkwardness makes her care. Damn it.

Plan: Get her uncle pushed down the stairs Actively set up JZX to take over Lanling Jin by Year 5 post-Sunshot Campaign.

Reluctantly ends up taking MY/JGY under her wing once she remembers the Qin Su situation. Ticks another year off of JGS’s life.

Best fucking friends with LQY.

(Plans go to shit once she meets people outside of LLJ. Recalibrating...)

(Due to a bad JZX/JYL encounter, WWX makes an exception and she’s the only girl he hates. “Just as insufferable, if not more, than that Peacock.”)

Qinghe Nie:

It’s fucking cold. She complains about humid heat, but she also bitches about cold and snow. All weather sucks.

QHN is probably the only sect that lets her get away with as much as she does in Shuangfeng. Goes gender-neutral again.

Name: Nie Yunxun. Done.

‘Don’t yell bankai, don’t yell bankai -’ as NYX is training with a humongous sabre. Big sword is encouraged. Give an inch, take a mile.

Da-ge energy pulls them in like a black hole. “Damn it, now I fucking care.” None of this Song of Turmoil Shit on their watch.

(”Da-ge,” because NHS latched onto them and NMJ allowed it, “Not everything is so black and white.” Tries their best to slowly make him chill the fuck out.)

Pretty prim and proper despite a foul mouth - slated to take over for Nie Zonghui when it comes time for the new generation.

Refuses to believe that eating dirt is the only future for sabre-wielders. Convinces NHS to trust and confide in them once he figures out what they’re trying to research and test.

(NHS latching on - 1) he catches NYX punning a subtle insult on LLJ during a discussion conference, 2) while escorting NHS to watch a play, he then catches them making the bitterest commentary on the not-so-great plot, and 3) on the days that he really can’t confront the fact that his Da-ge is going to cultivate to his own death, they will lie to NMJ’s face with no shame and let him hide.)

Uses QHN reputation to their advantage to play stupid and guileless. “A pretty, dumb brute.”

In public, NYX is essentially NHS’s long-suffering henchman.

In private, NYX and NHS are the Shady Duo, scheming tirelessly to... make the Cultivation Realm better, of course :) (better for some, not for others.)

Gusu Lan:

This feels worse than LLJ.

Lan Wenhui 藍文慧, wen for literary, and hui for intelligence.

CR is fine to visit, but awful to grow up in.

Grows up like a grumpy version of Lan Jingyi, because she knows that things aren’t going to be okay and there’s nothing she can do about it from her position.

Acts out a lot (like pre-ZYF death little Lin-lin). Sometimes accidentally, sometime purposefully. Living the CR feels like perpetually having an itch that she’s not allowed to scratch.

In trying to ‘tame the little beast’, LQR discovers two methods: 1) stump her with challenging/stimulating work, or 2) make LWJ ‘babysit’ her.

(Never mind telling an eight-year-old to watch a seven-year-old - but it’s the Chinese way to outsource your older kids to watch younger kids)

LWH can’t bring herself to be mean to LWJ. Thus LWJ gains a reluctant cousin-friend, and a buff to his social interaction skills.

LXC dotes on her so unabashedly that she effectively goes speechless for the whole day out of embarrassment.

Thus LQR discovers method #3 to nerf the Little Devil of the Cloud Recesses, and is so proud of himself and his nephews.

(WWX kicks him off his laurels when he arrives.)

Endgame: post-SSC (since she’s not in a position to change much without being scrutinized), seeing the 3Zun’s essentially make an alliance sans YMJ (+ JYL being betrothed to JZX), JGS basically is the most influential leader of the cultivation world.

Fuck no.

She orchestrates a ruse, if you will. ‘Accidentally’ lets JC pull her ribbon and doesn’t object. When questioned, lies and says that ‘he was her first love since catching a glimpse during the Cloud Recesses.’ (Complete with inflectionless voice)

“well shit, there’s nothing really objectionable about this match... so... congrats on your upcoming nuptials?”

Actually using that time to 1) go back and forth between YMJ with a semi-legit reason to interact and collude with the Yunmeng sibs and warn them of the upcoming BS, 2) delay the JZX/JYL wedding, 3) give LWJ time with WWX and hopefully they both get their heads out of their asses.

Shenanigans, fake dating/betrothal-turned-real? idk.

Qishan Wen:

The worst. Worstest. 

Two options:

Option one, side-side-side branch Wen

She’s fucking off.

Learning some cultivation/stealing some manuals, do a little spying and map-making, and deserting. 

Drops some secret missives for the other main sects, when the information becomes more relevant. 

Due diligence done, fucks off to some coastal town as their standoffish, neighborhood Cultivator. 

Micromanages the town and its well-being with the tenacity of playing a city builder/animal crossing in her previous life. 

Grow old. 

Die.

Option two, Wen Qing/Wen Ning’s family, the middle child. Wen Ling 溫玲, ling for exquisite.

She’s close enough to be in WRH’s purview but not in his main family. Whew.

Tries to convince older sister WQ to turn traitor and dip. 

Almost causes catastrophic end for their family bc of premature planning. 

She can’t play the same espionage game as WQ or MY/JGY does with WRH because she knows there’s no recovering from being publicly seen supporting WRH post-SSC. So she just works as a mainline fighter bc at least she’ll be able to defend herself and feel ‘useful’.

Fakes death and deserts mid-SSC. 

If lucky, lives and reluctantly infiltrates LLJ to be in the position to rescue her family after the war.

If she’s not... WWX kills her while she’s on the battlefield. She sees him and picks that moment to fake her death.

In this case, WWX catches her in the act, kills her but she calls out for WQ.

WQ learns about her death. WN is the one to tell WWX about the relation.

Tries to revive her as ‘owing one’ to the Wen sibs, looks for her corpse, encounters LWJ, gets his help to catch her soul with inquiry.

(Prime LWJ vinegar-drinking as he makes up his own reasons for why Wen Yuan exists and why WWX is taking care of him).

Ends up possessing WN on accident when WangXian returns to the Burial Mounds, able to help avert the Qiongqi Path incident.

Grimy spytime shenanigans to fight back against LLJ and surviving, and ends up passing on once things settle.

here’s the meme animation i promised! cale’s suffering will be nothing if not funny to me. he just wants to sleep, guys.

im smart but not smart smart. more like dumb smart

saw a fic the other day where Yanli was like "my husband's half-brother is creepy and horrible and I'm never letting him hold my baby" and I was just like ??????? umm ding dong you're wrong ???? like she wouldn't see this bundle of deeply familiar traits and traumas and just go "I'm going to take care of that small tired man whether he likes it or not :) :) :)"

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Bro, is it gay to give hairpin as gift to your shixiong?

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so can we start hunting down white liberals now or what

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