Op Turned Off Reblogs But I Want This Forever

Loki: General romantic headcanons

I’m using ‘you’ for simplicity. Honestly, these are just my thoughts/headcanons as to what a relationship with Loki would be like in general, so it’s not really specific in terms of who it is in the relationship with him.

Feel free to discuss or give your own opinions/headcanons if you’d like.

This is also gender neutral, I imagine he acts the same with a S/O of any gender. Because Asgard just be like that.

-Whether you’re an enhanced being or not, Loki is very ready and willing to take up arms for you at the first sign of danger. If someone threatens you, he’ll tap them on the shoulder with the scariest expression imaginable, “Would you mind repeating that?”  If you get kidnapped, there’s a 60% chance that Loki’s on his way to kick some ass (With a 40% chance that one or more of the Avengers are trying to hold him back so they can assess the situation first.)

-If you know how to fight/are enhanced, you two often end up being a combat duo and honestly make the most effective badass power couple in the Avengers, besides Wanda and Vision, of course.

-Loki, at first, if you’re midgardian, will end up being extremely careful around you. He’ll basically treat you like you’re made of glass, any wrong move he makes might hurt you in his mind seeing as, from his experience, midgardians are so fragile. Regardless of whether you’re enhanced or not. It takes a lot of convincing and reassurance to get him to relax. (This is a hurtle you have to jump before he feels confident in fighting alongside you as well.) This, of course, does not apply if he’s already well aware that you can handle yourself in battle. (For example, you’re an Avenger and you two have fought side-by-side multiple times, or sparred with one another.)

-If you ask to come to Asgard, he might bring you along. Don’t be surprised, however, if he ends up using his magic to make you look like an Asgardian if you’re from Midgard. (Because he was very vocal about judging Thor’s relationship with Jane, and he’d rather not be made fun of for the ironic hypocrisy.) As for the other realms? He may take you to see them depending on which realm we’re talking about. (Alfheim and Vanaheim in particular are ones he likes to visit. Jotunheim on the other hand? Over his dead body.)

-If everyone knows about it, he will gladly show off. He flaunts his relationship with you, and you yourself, to everyone like you’re the finest treasure in the universe. Basically saying ‘They’re my partner, not yours. Jealous?’ He’s basically using the same lines he uses for himself for you.  “I am Loki, and they are [Name], remember those names, for they will be the names of your future leaders.”

-If you’re in a relationship with him, I cannot imagine you haven’t already seen his Jotun form by that point. The biggest hurtle(s) for any relationship with Loki are his secrets, insecurities, and fears. Thus, if he really does love you and trust you, it’s because he knows you accept him wholly and completely. Thus, you’ve seen it. (Note: He’s still not going to take this form often, he just wants to be sure you wouldn’t believe him to be a monster and/or abandon him.)

-Once you break through the above barrier, this man is probably one of the most compassionate people out there. If people prove their fidelity and care for him, he’ll treat that person like gold. Though most of the softer moments happen behind closed doors, as he’s not very into PDA. (Though that’s not to say he’ll stop you-)

-He’s not the kind of person to make you jealous. After all, he’s your partner, you chose one another for a reason.  If you try to make him jealous though, he’ll realize what you’re doing and take it very personally. The only time he’d ever make you jealous on purpose is if you attempted it on him, because this man is petty. Though do bear in mind he will confront you about how immature you’re being regardless of if he takes the petty route in that situation or not. hypocrite

-He doesn’t really care about appearances. Sure, having a pretty S/O is nice, but that doesn’t really matter to him when compared to genuine care and compassion. This extends to aliens and mutants with major appearance changes too. Neurodivergence and disabilities are also something that doesn’t bother him generally. Though you’ll probably have to explain some of them to him, as he doesn’t really know that much about modern midgardian terminologies/diagnoses for things like that. Autism? DID? Tourettes? Deafness? Muteness? He doesn’t care.

-What he specifically looks for in a partner is loyalty especially, with compassion, empathy, and a decent sense of humor. (Some impishness is also up there on his list.) Common interests are another plus, and will usually be one of the first things he notices.

-Things that will usually make him nope out of a relationship are actually pretty low-bar standards if I’m being honest: Abuse, General lack of care for him, Extreme entitlement, Insert hate-based group, i:e racists, transphobes, etc.

-I’ve already mentioned before that I headcanon one of his love languages to be physical touch. He’s touch starved, please give him affection.  However, at the beginning of a relationship, he’ll find the idea of…actually having a loving relationship to be very hard to get used to, so he probably won’t initiate any physical affection at first regardless of if it’s in private or not. But, gradually over time you’ll notice him being a bit more physically affectionate and bold in regards to touching you. He’ll stand closer to you more often, he’ll put his hand on your shoulder randomly, he might even start kissing you on the temple or forehead on occasion, etc.

-If you cannot fight, he will teach you how to defend yourself. This is non-negotiable. His mother was murdered in his absence and that fact haunts him well into any ‘real’ relationship he forges, friendship or otherwise. So, he’s certainly not going to let you waltz about without knowing how to defend yourself in case something happens when he’s not around. If you already can fight, he’ll train and spar with you.

-He will stick to you as much as possible. He wants to spend a lot of time with you (Another love language), so don’t be surprised if he ends up popping up every so often to check on you, or asking you when you’ll next be free for some quality time together.

-Dates with this man are immaculate. He pays a lot of attention to how you feel and what your interests are. He’ll then take this information and use it to construct a date that he thinks you’d enjoy.  You like sci-fi? Well, he knows a beautiful alien planet you two could explore! Gemtones? Oh, you just so happened to stumble upon a crystal cave with him!

-He does a lot of silent admiration from afar. During those moments, there’s a lot that goes on in his mind. Specifically, wondering how you could possibly love him when he’s done so much. New York, Helping Thanos, Attempting to destroy Jotunheim, the multiple attempts on Thor’s life, etc. The fact that you can even accept his Jotun ancestry, something even he himself can’t truly accept, amazes him. He really doesn’t know what he did to deserve someone so accepting and loving in his life.

-It’s not always sunshine and smiles of course. Communication of his own emotions is not his strong suit, but he’s very perceptive of the feelings of others, so he’s very willing to talk to you about your issues or concerns. He’s very good at recognizing when something’s wrong as well, so often, you won’t even need to ask him to talk, he’ll already be sitting next to you, patiently waiting for you to begin the conversation. Meanwhile, he has a habit of pushing his emotions down and thinking that if he ignores them they might go away. He’s also very good at hiding it, so that’s certainly something you two need to figure out. Arguments happen, but rarely last long, as he’s surprisingly pretty good at recognizing when he made a mistake.  “I understand, I’m sorry I made you feel this way. I promise I’ll try to be more thoughtful of you from now on, [Name].”

-He doesn’t really do anniversaries? It’s an Asgard thing, there’s no real ‘milestones’ for relationships, so if you want anniversaries, you’re going to have to explain it to him.

-He really tries his best to be as good a partner to you as possible. He places your needs squarely above his own, especially in dire circumstances. 

-Pet names. He will use them, and absolutely melt if you use them too. Call him ‘your prince’, ‘sweetheart’, ‘darling’, ‘luv’, any endearing little name like that, he’ll love it. (He also doesn’t care if you call him those things in public either.)

-He’s such a tease. He’ll flirt with you in hushed tones when nobody is looking, his goal being just to see you turn red. If something ends up happening after as a result? …That’s just a happy accident.

Okay but Loki helping the reader with their self esteem is something I need

self-esteem was something you had always struggled with

it didn’t matter how many tricks you tried, how much time you spent convincing yourself that you were better than your mind was making you believe

you just couldn’t seem to get yourself to budge on the matter

and most of the times, you could deal with it

with self-deprecating humor and bad jokes

but sometimes things got to be a little much

and it would just weigh a little bit too heavily on you

and you’d get a little down about

just sort of keep to yourself, not want to talk to anyone

Loki knew it was something you struggled with

and was always willing to sit with you and talk you down

and just be there for you until you were feeling a little better

Loki would always, without fail, have a pep talk ready for you

after making sure you were bundled up nice and warm in a blanket

with your favorite warm drink

and your favorite snack

“I understand you’re feeling a little self-conscious right now, and really don’t want to have the focus on yourself, and that’s okay. That is completely alright. I’ll keep it short and sweet, and then we’ll watch dumb cat videos. The only catch is that you have to listen and not disagree, alright?”

and you look at them a little suspiciously, unsure what they’re going to say

but nod

mostly because you know Loki won’t let the matter just go away

and Loki nods, as well

“I think you’re a wonderful person. I think you’re funny, and smart, and so very, very brave. You don’t give yourself enough credit for everything you’ve been through, for everything that you’re willing to do. You’re strong. You’re an asset to this team, and everyone loves having you here. You are worth so much more than you believe, and if I have to tell you that every day, I will if it means you might start to believe it. I’ll leave it at that, for now, but just know that I love and care for you, a lot. We all do.”

and you’d already been on the verge of tears

and this certainly didn’t help matters

and you end up sniffling

and rubbing at your eyes with a fist

and when you speak, it’s in a quiet little voice

“Thanks, Loki… That really means a lot.”

and Loki can tell you just need a hug

so they go to sit next to you

and just wrap you up in a warm hug

“Anytime, Y/N.”

you never make it to the cat videos

but that’s okay

because you’re actually feeling okay and happy and warm

and that is far more important

Conspiratorial: Featuring(some) Avengers.

Whenever sleep isn’t a possibility, Bucky would stay up all night watching conspiracy videos with a mildly panicked face as he tries to piece together if he saw lizard people running the goverment or not.

Or if the Mandela effect could be explained by Loki or Thor.

And Steve, worried face an’ all, always has to pull him back to bed with a grumbled, “Jesus Christ, Buck. You were the one who assassinated Kennedy. Now go to bed.”

During the morning commute in the compound’s kitchen, though, Bucky, Peter, and Sam rant about the latest Shane Dawson videos.

Sam is always the first to jump to logical conclusions.

He also spends about 47% of the time pretending like he totally watched whatever they were talking about, though nobody seems to notice or care much.

Peter tries to mess with them both by adding false info or made-up, ridiculous things to see if any of them believe it.

Bucky always does. Every single damn time.

Natasha doesn’t pay much attention to it all, but when she does, there’s always a knowing smirk on her face that could only mean amusement.

Steve finds all of it incredibly ridiculous, but hey, Bucky’s somewhat happy and creating bonds with people, so he couldn’t be too bothered about it, right?

Bruce has an eerily calm vibe to his obvious confusion and worry, but he never comments on it.

In fact, he encourages it all for the same reasoning as Steve. And when Tony decides to finally look up this “Shane Dawson” guy, he gets hooked into the conversation as well.

“Y'know, it’s a great theory and all. The pain-in-my-ass government officials wouldn’t surprise me if they were secretly reptilian. Same with Cap. Nobody could be that honorable and suseptible to ice without being a cold-blooded reptile.”

“I was in ice, too. You don’t see me runnin’ around like a giant lizard.” Bucky frowned.

“Hey, don’t be rude. His name is ‘Godzilla’ and it doesn’t mean there isn’t a possibility to that.” Sam chirps, nudging at the super-soldier’s side.

“That’s enough,” Steve cuts them off sternly.

“Uh-Oh. Somebody pissed off Captain-zilla.” Tony remarks in amusement, before returning to the cooling cup of coffee.

Sam grins behind his own cup and shakes his head. “He’s got a point. Never thought I’d say that about you, Stark.”

“Oh, it must be my lucky day.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Please, if you guys’ are going to turn into some reptile-creature, at least leave me out of it. I already have enough on my plate at the moment.

"We’re not–”

“Don’t be offended, Cap. It’s just a theory, after all.”

Tony heads off to his lab, leaving them all in an awkward silence.

Peter is the first to speak up, and carries on the conversation as if none of that just happened.

Steve is both relieved and annoyed.

Damn technology, he thinks with a scowl.

And then, a moment later: Maybe I am a lizard-person.

Sansûkh dictionary

So because I’m a huge fan of @determamfidd‘s fic Sansûkh I’ve been trying to keep an accurate record of all the Sindarin, Khuzdul and even Black Speech that has shown up in the fic so far in order to have an easily accessible dictionary on hand at all times. Which is what this is.

Still, do tell me if I’m missing some word and/or phrase because there’s a lot of them and I have no doubt that could happen. Also I am exhausted. This was a lot of work plus emotions from the most recent chapter so I’m just gonna drop dead now, if you don’t mind.

Keep reading

Modern Art

tasm!peter x fem!reader

summary: inspired by Reckless by Madison Beer and All Too Well. Angst because all of us have pain kink (yes I'm looking at you.) requested by @buckyjbarneswhore | masterlist

Peter had fallen in love with you even before asking you out. It wasn't much of a surprise, that boy was always a hopeless romantic.

He loved the way you laughed, loved how he made you laugh. He loved how you hummed the songs he never understood, your voice, your kindness, how you doodled nonsense on his papers, how you hugged Aunt May whenever you saw her — he loved anything and everything about you.

Then one day, he went to Oscorp. You knew he saw something there, but he wasn't keen on saying what it was.

That was the first secret he hid from you.

You thought you were imagining things. Sure, he didn't spend much time with you anymore, but he was busy. You told yourself he was busy even though the two of you had the same classes and the same workload.

You ignored the feeling at the back of your head, the one that told you to be careful.

————

"Hey, we're going to a party tonight. Wanna come?" Aimee asked, smiling wide. "Trick question. You have to."

"Then I guess I'll be there." You returned a smile, knowing you didn't need much persuasion anyway. You didn't have much work and anything's better than sitting around doing nothing.

"I need to do a beer count. Is Peter going to be there?" she asked, taking out the little pink notebook she carried around. You had gifted it to her on her birthday and she hasn't parted with it since.

"He's uh, busy." You were suddenly interested in the book in front of you.

"Oh man, you're dating Peter Parker?" One of your other friends, Mark, looked up from whatever he was reading.

"Yeah, why?"

"No reason. He's a chill dude. Saw him yesterday. He bought me coffee at Helsey's after I was drunk off my ass," Mark said, laughing. "Owes me skateboard lessons too."

"Wait, wait," you sat up straighter. "Helsey's cafe is near your house."

"Of course it is."

"Your house is nowhere near the public library."

"Okay...?"

"Peter said he was at the library," you said, sounding worried. "He said he had a personal project or something."

"Why would he lie?" Aimee asked, closing the pink notebook.

"C'mon guys, you're overthinking this," Mark interrupted swiftly. "In fact, I'm pretty sure his friend mentioned something about going to the library too!"

"His friend? He was with someone?" you asked, trying to sound casual.

"Yeah, Gwen Stacy."

————

"I'm thinking we should go to that little restaurant they opened up?" Peter asked, handing over the flowers he had hurriedly bought on his way over. "Sort of as an apology for my absence the whole week?"

"I'm not feeling good. I'd rather stay inside," you said, hoping you sounded normal. You put the flowers in an empty vase and threw the bag into the bed, then opened your laptop.

Peter frowned. He had off days too, when he wanted nothing more than to disconnect from the entire world for a while, but your demeanor said something was wrong.

You running through whatever you're looking for on the laptop and ignoring your boyfriend standing awkwardly near the door was the closest thing you had done to giving him the cold shoulder.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked, sitting down on your bed.

You laughed forcefully. "Don't be ridiculous, Peter. Why would I be mad at you?"

"I mean, if you are- that's totally justified. I know I wasn't the most attentive guy last week. I blame it on my project—"

"Speaking of," you interrupted cheerfully, slamming the laptop shut and turning to him. "What's this project about?"

He was taken back. "Uhm, arachnology."

"Arachnology?"

"Yes?"

"That sounds like a question."

"I mean, yes. Definitely," he said, nodding. "I'm researching on arachnology. Why the sudden interest?"

"I feel bad for not knowing what's going on in your life." You replied, waving it off.

You had hoped he was a better liar, just so you could comfort yourself that it was all okay like your rose-colored glasses made it out to be. Apparently not.

"I appreciate that." Peter held your gaze, both of you knowing there was something more. Something he wasn't saying.

"Are you doing the research with Gwen Stacy?" The question had slipped off your mouth before you could think about it. He seemed even more surprised.

"Why would I study spiders with Gwen?" he laughed, not meeting your eyes.

The way her name fell from his lips said he knew her, and the affection behind it said he was fond of her. You bit down your lips and told yourself that you were being crazy. Friends care for each other, and you needn't worry about that.

If there was something going on, Peter's not the type to hide it. Then again, you thought he wasn't the type to lie at all, but isn't that what he just did?

————

The story wrote itself from there. So now here you are, alone at your birthday party, having everyone around you but him. You were pretty sure he had forgotten about it altogether.

When everyone left for home, you went to your room and swallowed the resentment. It felt like a statement on his part. He used to write little notes for you during class, with small lines that made you smile even though they were sappy. He said he'll never hurt you, but here you are, close to tears on your own birthday.

There was a knock on the window.

You didn't need to turn to know it was him.

"Hey, I got us pizzas!" he said energetically, then noticed your red gown, the slumped shoulders, the irregular breaths. "Y/N...?"

You turned around, wiping the first tear that had shamelessly slid down your face. The last thing you wanted to do was look broken in front of the man who broke you.

He took in your makeup, or rather the smudged edges of it. You looked so utterly strong yet cautious, as if you had just built a brick wall over your emotions.

"Oh!" he connected the dots, leaving the pizza on the bedside. "Your birthday- holy shit, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry—"

"Where were you?" you asked calmly.

He blanked. What was he supposed to say now? That he was so consumed with a bogus research that he forgot his girlfriend's birthday? Or the truth? Both would hurt the same.

"Gwen Stacy," you said the name slowly. "Why did you tell me you don't know her?"

He took a deep breath in. "I didn't say that. I just didn't tell you she was just doing the research with me—"

"If that was the case, why did you lie?"

"I thought you wouldn't understand! If I told you I had something super important to research with another girl, especially my childhood crush, don't tell me you wouldn't have gotten jealous!"

"Fuck you, Parker," your voice rose louder. "You know I'm not that type of overprotective partner. You know you could have just told me. But you didn't. Why?"

"There's a lot of compli—"

"Why?" The word ricocheted off the walls, making Peter almost take a step back.

"Did you cheat on me?" you whispered, biting down your lips so you wouldn't yell again.

"No," he shook his head far too quickly. Yet he looked guilty. You quickly connected the dots.

"Are you in love with her anyway?"

Peter's face fell. "I didn't plan to."

Tears freely started to fall now, but you didn't care. You took a deep breath in.

"You could have told me that from the start."

"I love her now but I loved you first," he said defensively. "I did. But then I was spending more time with Gwen and somewhere along the way, it just happened. I never wanted to hurt you, but would you really blame me for loving someone?"

"You're honestly asking me that?" you asked, your voice shaking. "All I did was love someone and where did that get me?"

"You don't understand—"

"What the fuck don't I understand?"

"I'm Spiderman!" He interrupted, raising his hands in surrender. He began rambling even without seeing your reaction. "Gwen works at Oscorp. She helped me. I knew you wouldn't have approved if I told you I was fighting for my life everyday. Not like she does."

You understood why he was saying that. Peter Parker was in his core, nothing if not kind. He didn't want to deal with how he hurt someone, so he threw a half-assed excuse at your face, hoping you'd agree and let him go. He didn't need your pain on his conscience so he resorted to wallowing through excuses.

Steady breaths, that's what he used to say when you were having a bad day. Steady breaths and a steady mind. Can't be all bad, right? I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere.

Despite everything, you smiled. Steady breaths it is.

"I knew you were Spiderman, I knew it from the start," you said, almost amused.

He blinked, surprised yet again. Maybe he was more stupid than he gave himself credit for. After all, you were his girlfriend. If there was someone in the world who could figure it out, who else would it be if not you?

"You wouldn't have loved me anymore," he finished his ranting, desperately hopeless. "No matter what you say now, you wouldn't have!"

"I would have loved you any way you wanted me to."

He opened his mouth to say something, closed it again, realizing he had just run out of excuses. Nothing to give, nothing that you'll ever trust again.

"I'm sorry," he said, genuinely meaning it. "I'm so fucking sorry that I hurt you. You are a good person and—"

"Get out."

"Let me just-"

"Get the hell out!" you pointed to the window.

He didn't want to cause any more of a mess, so he did as you asked, though hesitant as ever.

And as he climbed that window down one last time, you looked at the vase in the corner, the one which had the flowers he bought for you; all of them completely wilted now.

————————

second and final part here!

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join/be removed from taglist here

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the feminine urge to annotate everything that i read and the perfectionist urge of not doing so in order not to ruin it

I'm such a slut for intelligent, sarcastic, dark haired, morally grey villains

Andrew!Peter With A Skater Girlfriend Would Include...

Request: May i request a tasm!Peter with a skater girlfriend

Sure my lovely @maycat-19-142! I’ve never skated myself so I’m using poetic license here lmao <3 

If you enjoy, please comment!!

(I do not own TASM or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @guyinagreensuit.)

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

You first caught Peter’s attention during both your last years of High School. The final bell had rung, and instead of going home Peter had decided to sit on one of the lunch benches in the courtyard, and try to fix the camera Flash had knocked out of his hand during first period. Despite how much he scrunched up his eyes behind his glasses, and tried his hardest to concentrate on which little screw goes into which fiddly mechanism, he kept on coming distracted by someone skating out of the corner of his eye.

To be completely honest, the whole camera thing was just a ruse. Just a fabrication, just a way that he could sit and not draw too much attention to himself as he looked at you. He had been in love with you for a while now, and he had spent may an afternoon pretending to do his homework, or nap, or listen to music on this very bench to just gaze at you. He was too afraid, too awkward to just come up to you and say, ‘hey, Y/n, so I don’t know if you know, but my name’s Peter Parker and you’ve owned my heart since eighth grade.’

He nearly drops his lens in surprise, lanky arm reaching out to grab it and nearly punching you in the face when he finally is drawn out of his musing and realises you’re standing right in front of him. With a big smile on your face, you kick up your skateboard and hold it against your hip as you hold out a hand to him.

‘It’s Peter, right?’

He has to stop himself gasping in surprise, instead wildly blinking in shock a few times before realising himself and taking your hand within your own. Shaking it all wobbly like jelly, his slender fingers can’t find a way to let go of yours until you gently hand his hand back to him with a giggle.

‘Yeah. Yeah!’, he starts suddenly, reaching up behind him to scratch the back of his head. ‘And you’re Y/n, right? I- I saw you skateboarding… you’re pretty good. I skate too!’

He points at it while you take a seat down on the meshed metal beside him, stifling a laugh but also pretending not to notice at the way his leg jumps when your own settles to rest against it.

The two of you end up skating back to his house together, after just sitting and chatting about everything and nothing for a little while. The two of you spend hours outside his porch, just laughing and chasing each other, sitting down on your boards and racing each other down the street.

It was just one of those natural things, as if the two of you had been doing this forever. Sitting behind him, resting your arms around his waist, he turns his head slightly to grin at you. Smiling back, you rest your cheek on the back of his jacket as the two of you go rolling off down the hilled tram lines nearby, and everything in that moment just felt right. As if the two of you had always done this. As if you were meant to. As if the Universe was just waiting for the perfect time and offering the perfect opening to draw two soulmates together.

The two of you spend a lot of weekends hanging out at the park near your house. Peter sits by the edge of the fountain, holding his camera up and trying to take pictures even close to capturing how ethereal you look in the golden rays of the summer light as you skate by him, posing each time you pass. Rolling over the cobbled bricks, he makes it a game to try and grab onto your waist each time you go past, and if he succeeds, he’s rewarded with a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose.

He sneaks out of his bedroom window at night to go and sneak in clumsily through yours. Before you spend the rest of the night and early morning before graduation cuddled up against his chest while he strokes happily, euphorically over your shoulder with that cute little glint of adoration in his eyes, he drags you out. The two of you go skating together down the roads, and avenues, and promenade, blasting indie music through your earbuds and just holding hands as the honey rays begin to melt their soft sweetness over the top of the house rows. 

It’s always the best parts of his day - just a little slice of heaven in the midst of the hardships and uncertainties of his life. You are always the best of him, showing him the goodness and beauty life can bring.

He keeps on tripping up though, and nearly breaks his board clean in half. It’s only because he keeps on trying to sneak little giggly, puppy dog eyes over at you when he should be looking where he’s going.

Sometimes he’s more playfully sneaky, though. Times like these, he pretends to fall over just so he can grab onto your shoulders and tug you against his chest as he stumbles. He’s all ‘wooaaahhh’ as he, in a very obviously fake manner, falls onto the ground. It’s just an excuse for you to land on top of him, so he can wrap his long arms and legs around you like a koala bear and press a thousand warm fast kisses over your face as you laugh.

You’re very good at patching him up after rough days as Spider-Man, because during your early days of skating you had to do the same on yourself. Sitting on the edge of your bed, he slumps between your knees as you reach down and apologise as he winces, the alcohol wipe burning against the scrape on his forehead. He knows you’re tough, and resilient, and so, so amazing and more than he deserves, but as soon as you’re finished he rests his forehead gently against yours with a warm sigh. Keeping his eyes closed, he just lingers next to you, letting you know that he’s warm and safe as his fingers dance across your cheek.

Dream Of Me | tasm!p.p

summary: this is something I thought of writing for @agnesamarantheastwood after I saw a personal post about her suffering from insomnia. V, you are the sweetest person ever, I really hope this makes you feel somehow happy and so very hugged, you're also a part of what made me come back to writing in here, so this is also a thank you.

In which Peter comforts reader after waking up to a panic attack caused by a heavy insomnia episode coming from his girlfriend.

pairing: Peter Parker (tasm!) x reader

genre: fluffy, comfort

involves: crying, cuddling, disney, top tier boyfriend!peter, a clueless author trying her best to write about insomnia

word count: 1,9k

Peter and you were dating for four months now, and you got to tell him once or twice about your troubled sleep schedule. He knew how melatonin pills and other meds usually helped you sleep and that you never got to the point of running out from those, either carrying them in your purse for nights at his house or travels or keeping a tidy mini stock of them on your bathroom counter.

However, Peter failed to notice how, even with the pills still there –though the stock remained untouched–, you were not really functioning to the best of your capacity. You kept yawning and the bags you usually already had under your eyes were now a deeper color each day, but you didn't mind running out of concealer sooner as long as it kept you from having that conversation with a worried Peter.

The truth is; for the four months-time you were dating, your boyfriend never got to see when insomnia got the worse of you. Peter never met the really sleep-deprived y/n, and that encounter kinda scared you. You knew that it wouldn't take long for it to get harder and harder for you to sleep, –you even though this time it was taking too long for another crisis–, but gosh it felt so good how you weren't taking longer than usual to fall in a deep slumber, so you decided to just enjoy that.

You were scared that the minute Parker met with the harsher consequences of you not having proper sleep, the second he caught you unfocused, zoning out and forgetting so many things like you knew you ended up doing on your worst cases, he'd realize it could be maybe a little too much, and maybe he'd leave.

You had to give Peter some credit, he has been nothing but a sweetheart to you, but the tiniest possibility of overwhelming your boyfriend –who was already busy with his own problems that felt like the weight of the whole city– left you feeling like you were too much work to him and it was unfair.

So this thought just added up to your anxiety as you tossed and turned in bed a little after two in the morning trying to find a good position for your body to just rest and sinfully thinking nonstop about how much sleep-time you already lost and everything you'll have to do tomorrow as your eyelids were firmly shut. gosh, you had to wake up at six.

You didn't even realize your body was shaking. Peter did though, –even if he was lucky to have already dozed off, he always noticed the breakdown of things, claiming that it was like he had an exclusive spidey-sense just for you.– Your boyfriend rolled up in the bed hugging you from behind, still lightly asleep, but that didn't help. Instead, you felt trapped and uneasy and you didn't know how to approach that in the absolute middle of the night.

You sighed, throat burning as you gulped, finally taking your phone out of under the pillow and putting it on the bedside desk, you had to try it one more time, you had to sleep.

You felt so absolutely conscious about everything around you and about your tucked body forming almost a ball of limbs under Peter's left arm, –which felt heavier than ever–. Peter cleared his throat as he opened his eyes, waking up alarmed by your troubled atmosphere. You were shaking.

"Hey..." His voice sounded raspy but firm. Peter took his hand away from your waist. "y/n, turn over, look at me... look at me," Peter cooed. As you turned over, he stared at your wide-eyed, distressed form and frowned just a little bit. "Hi," Peter said, you sniffled in response.

"It's okay, I'm here, look at me," He kept staring deep into your eyes, giving instructions so you would calm down "It's okay baby, I'm here now," Peter finally decided to touch you again, aiming his hand towards your shoulder, you hiccuped for air, still feeling that burning sensation on your throat. "Wow, you're sweating- breathe for me, okay? slowly... We need to slow this down, nice and soft."

Even if your boyfriend was the only one doing the talking, he didn't demand an immediate response from you as he noticed you slowly coming back to your senses and following his directions, eyes piercing through his as well, letting out long, shaky breaths. "Attagirl, you're doing amazing!", As your breathing pace came slowly back to normal, Peter's concealed fear was subsided, relief taking over. Of course, he has done it before, calming people down after rescuing some of them during building fires and other situations, he has never, though, calmed someone he deeply cared for during a situation he didn't know the reason. To see you cooling down meant to Peter that he was doing a good job, and, most importantly, that you'll be fine.

"Hold on to me, okay? Everything is okay, it's just me and you...," when you finally looked a bit more present, you were lying on top of him, holding onto him with both arms and an apologetic look on your face, "panic attack?" Peter finally asked, trying to understand what brought you to that previous state, you shook your head lightly, showing a thin smile, "I can't sleep." You stated simply but sighed deeply avoiding to stress over it again.

"Aww babe, I'm sorry; I just woke up and I felt something was wrong and then I heard your heart beating..."

"Sorry I woke you up, Pete." Guilt washed over a part of you, either you woke him up or he really did feel like something was going on and you disturbed his sleep.

Peter smiled reassuringly; "There's nothing to be sorry about, it's a good thing I'm here." You noticed how his features still looked sleepy, he ran a hand through your hair. "Keep breathing deep and slow. It's all good, beautiful, you're doing very good."

He chuckled under you, "You know, you should really consider keeping me around, I'm gonna have my uses..." He joked. When he woke up, feeling you shaking and listening to your loud heartbeat, his train of thought didn't fail to give him a lot of terrible-case scenarios and then some. He had yet to know if the lack of sleep you mentioned was caused by anything, or if he was experiencing the first time you had an insomnia case by his side. The possibility that his presence gave you anxiety made his heart feel small.

"Yeah? So I can use you?" You chuckled, giving a little twist to his joke. It was weird how cozy you felt right now even though your mind kept racing with different outcomes of Peter understanding the whole of your condition.

"Yeah you can use me anytime you want!" Peter's laugh probably would be considered too loud for the late hour as he blinked an eye at you. For a few moments, the both of you fell in silence, and the boy could still hear your rapid heartbeat. "Oh, wow! Your heart is still racing!" he whispered; as you frowned, he placed one of his hands over yours on top of your chest, waiting for a few seconds so you could feel the rhythm yourself. "See, that's crazy!" As you admired his surprise, Peter fell quiet for a short moment, before he could continue:

"Haering your heartbeat like this... feeling it, so fast... I don't like it, you know?" He rhetorically asked, chuckling a bit, "It makes me think like, I don't know like you're so fragile... I wanna take care of you" Peter concluded, preventing himself from rambling as he made his way to getting up, offering you some water. You stopped him by grabbing his arm, shaking your head slightly, "No, no, no I want you here."

"It's okay," He smiled, relaxing "I can stay, I'm not going anywhere- oh wait let me get a candle." Peter used of his already lifted torso and reached for your bedside table across from you. While he lit the candle with an electric lighter, you appreciated his caring aura, looking at his beautiful traces.

"You're staring." you smiled after hearing that, your boyfriend was back at your side, hugging you a bit. Deciding that you were silent for too long, you started to explain how you felt, trying your best to find the right words. "It just that, like, when it reaches a point when I'm really not sleeping, I get so out of it Pete, really, plus I could just black out anywhere sometimes because I'm so tired but my body won't accept proper sleep at the right time and-"

Peter sighed, using his tongue to wet his lips a little, "You know, when you're awake in the middle of the night, especially when going through a phase like that or when these things are on your mind, I wanna be awake too." You turned your head to look at him as if he had just said the craziest thing.

"I don't want you to be alone when you're in a moment like this... Come here, wait." It was as if he just thought of something really fast; Peter got up from bed, throwing his blanket a little, and you were onto doing the same when he quickly grabbed you bridal style, cooing something like "Come here my baby", he carried you two through the small hallway that divided the rooms on his suit, it felt messy as you kept the fluffy cover on your hands, and you giggled, asking him "What are you doing?" in a low tone.

As he got to the living room, Peter placed you on the couch and turned to the tv, looking for the remote. You sat comfortably with the blanket over you and legs tucked close to your upper body. Peter had put on Disney+, he knew a little about your comfort movies and tales, stuff that felt like small talk as you shared them on your first dates, but that he actually did remember.

"You know, If you don't sleep through this one we can put on Sleeping Beauty," Peter gave you a side smile while going to sit beside you, remote in hand and the old animation story of Robin Hood loading on the TV screen. "Ironically I know it's one of your faves." Peter continued as he made himself comfortable.

As the Rooster started to sing the Whistle Stop, barely a minute into the movie, your boyfriend started scratching your neck, feeling content when you hummed. "You remember the first time you told me you suffered from insomnia..? We were, like, two months in and you were having a little trouble to sleep?" You put your head on his shoulder, "I told you I'm okay with that. 100%, beautiful. I'm lucky to be with you regardless," His hand now caressed the place in between your ear and the nape of your neck and you closed your eyes, both enjoying the sensation of his touch, the song, and the feeling of relief that washed over you knowing that Peter would stick around, through heaven or high water.

"I love every itty bit of you", he hushed, you smiled, slowly turning your head to look at him again, "everything?"

"Yeah, even your toes, even your weird big one." Peter provoked, taking a loud cackle from you as he failed on shushing through his giggles. "Oh, no... that was bad." He could sense your smile through your voice as you moved your head back to his shoulder, scootching a bit so you were cuddling.

"I'm always at your service, m'kay? Babe, I love you." You felt completely relaxed as Peter murmured, eyes finally closing again as you now drifted off, finally, to the sound of your boyfriend's breathing and a comfort movie.

Lol we finally came out the official introduction

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