Latest Posts by s0larst0rm555 - Page 3

No thoughts head empty just Saeyoung

Just imagine Saeyoung holding you tightly in his arms as you both lay down together on his bed. He has this happy smile on his face as he left many but small kisses on many parts of your face. Words can't express how much he loves you, you gave him hope and so much more, you are really an angel and he wants to show you how much you mean to him.

An arm wrapped around you, his hand rubbing slow and small circles on your back gently while his other hand was holding your own. His fingers brushing gently over your knuckles where you could even feel his engagement ring. He just has this smile on his face as he gives you more kisses, he can't help it, you are just so cute!

He makes many jokes and talks to you about pranks he has done in the past while giggling softly, his smile widening after listening to you being happy and laughing, it makes him feel so happy and warm inside. You two laugh together pretty much every night as you both cuddle and it has always been so nice. Saeyoung can have many weird but funny and amazing ideas and he is gonna tell you about them If you wish to hear! You often wonder how he comes up with a lot of them, honestly.

Ran your hand through his hair and he will absolutely melt. Sometimes he tends to act like a cat and rub his head more on your hand just to see your beautiful and adorable smile. Playing with his hair makes him feel so relaxed since it feels so nice. If he could, he wished he could stay next to you there forever, just giving each other affection and laughing through everything.

If you want to, you can try rubbing his shoulders gently, it's another thing he loves and he will have this grin on his face as his eyes are gazing with so much love at yours. Even the smallest things you do for him make him love you more and more, like I said before, words can't explain how much he adores you! Just rubbing his shoulders in the right spots makes him melt onto you. He remembered back then where when he went to bed, he would be tense, his whole arm pretty much sore from working, but thanks to you, not anymore.

Saeyoung recently brought some star and other space related stickers that he put on the ceiling and some on the wall so every night, it would feel like you two are outside stargazing under the so so many stars out there. It feels quite nice falling asleep with these stickers surrounding you two. Just burying your face in his chest and him putting his chin on your head is enough to make him cling to you like a koala.

If you had any bad days, Saeyoung will do his best to make you smile once more and snuggle with you under the covers and if you are up for it, why not build a tent or something like a small castle and lay under it together? You two could watch your favorite movie or anything that brings you comfort. Don't forget his affection as well! He will hold you and whisper the sweetest words in your ear as he holds you close as he could, rubbing your back or shoulders gently like how you do it to him so you could relax your tense muscles.

Sometimes, Saeyoung loves to hide his face in your neck or your chest to listen to your heartbeat since it calms him down and it's a nice reminder that everything is okay now. Stroke or play with his hair or even massage his shoulders and he will melt and get sleepy slowly but he never goes to sleep without making sure that he has his arms wrapped around you and holding you as close as possible.

You have to convince him to let you go if you wanna escape his grip. He enjoys every second that he spends with you and he is so, so happy and grateful for everything.

Words can't express how much he loves you, he will do anything for you to be safe and happy. Feeling his engagement ring on his fingers is a great reminder that you both will be happy and laugh through everything together. He loves you so much.

Hi, this is my first post! Here are some of my fluffy head cannons about our favorite cat loving hacker

7 knows how to dance (Waltz, tango, ect) so he would dance with you whenever he has free time. Even if it means interrupting you doing daily tasks.Cooking/cleaning? Not anymore. this man has already swept you off your feet, and taken your hand in his and is currently twirling you around whatever room your in.*him humming howls moving castle*

You are currently cleaning up the kitchen after putting dinner into the oven when in comes Saeyoung. His crimson hair all messy from his nap. Coming up behind you, gently sliding his cold hands up your shirt resting them on your stomach. Slowly rocking you both side to side. He mumbles an “ nice and warm” while burring his head into the crevasse of your neck placing a little kiss right under your ear. His hair tickling your neck you let out a small breath and tell him to be careful and that it tickles. Your words just egg him on and if you didn’t realize your mistake sooner he would have caged you in and tickled you to death. You sharply say “don’t even think about it” feeling a light smile form on his lips you pull from his grasp and turn around to face him. His gives you a gentle smile, his eyes sparking like the stars he adores. You reach up and rub your thumb over his cheek “I know you to well by now sweetheart, but nice try” he rolls his eyes and brings his hand up to hold yours his fingers intertwining with yours. His other hand makes it’s way up to your hip gently holding onto you. His fingers gently pressing into you, subconsciously making sure you are there and not just a dream. He pulls you away from the counter and to the middle of the kitchen, you gently push some of his hair out of his eyes, “you are my North Star thank you for guiding me home” he quietly says while pushing his forehead against yours. “Your ufo crash landed on my heart alien boy” you retort. After a few minutes of silence just holding each other like it would be the last, he pulls back a bit. “May, I have this dance my love? Being held by you helped recharge my batteries” you smile at him sometimes even after being with him so long it makes your heart flutter like the wings of a sparrow, you say yes but not with words, placing a gentle kiss to his lips. He has a light blush dusted on his cheeks, his smile still bright. He takes your hand and bings it above your head and twirls you. Falling into his his arms you feel him dip you down and press a kiss onto your lips, his smile still there as he pulls you back up to continue. No music was needed just yours and his laughter. Nothing could be more pure than the love you felt for him, and he felt for you in this moment. Your souls danced like the two of you. Forever tied to each other, not even death could do you apart. (Hope you all enjoy!! sorry that it’s super long 😩 I just love him so much)

helloooooo, can you do luka x reader cuddling headcanons? 👀👀

❝Luka x Reader cuddling headcanons❞

(I'm sorry for the long wait, anyway I hope you'll enjoy it <33)

↬Fluff, headcanons

↬Warnings/TW: None

-Luka wouldn’t be the type to be immediately touchy or clingy with you, not until he makes sure that you’re comfortable enough around him.

-But if there’s one thing that Luka loves, it’s your cuddling sessions. When you cuddle, it’s usually before going to sleep or while a movie is playing in the background.

-You also love to nap on the Liberty’s deck taking in Luka’s warmth and the sun’s.

-Luka enjoys being both the big and little spoon so you’d alternate. He loves being the big spoon so he can engulf you in his embrace, nuzzling in your hair and playing with it if you ask him too.

-He’d tuck his arms around your waist and press soft kisses to the nape of your neck, taking in your warmth and comforting scent.

-He’d trace small shapes on your skin, run his fingers up your arms, making his way to your cheek and gently caressing it.

-If he’s the small spoon, he’d snuggle up against your chest to listen to your heartbeat while you play with his blue hair strands, sometimes braiding a few of them when he’d let his hair grow a bit too much.

-He’d ask you to sing for him even if you think you have a bad voice. It didn’t matter; he loved listening to your voice. Anything that came out of your mouth in those moments sounded like music to his ear.

-He’ll usually ask about your day while you’re cuddling after a long day of not seeing each other. Luka is a great listener, so he’d always pay close attention to whatever you’re saying even if it might seem boring to you.

-Insomnia is something Luka struggles with frequently but cuddling with you helps him a lot. Even if he still can’t sleep, he’d just stay awake admiring your sleeping figure, tracing your features with his fingertips, and peppering your face with kisses.

-If he accidentally wakes you up he’d start muttering apologies and rub your back up and down to coax you into sleep again.

-If you can’t sleep he’d tell you a bedtime story but would mix up the tales and both of you end up arguing - “No that’s not how the story ends” you protest, “Well, that’s mom’s version” he replies amused by your annoyance. So he’d stick to reading you a book instead.

-Sometimes you’d stay awake to keep him company, enjoying your late-night talks.

-In the morning, it’s hard for both of you to get out of bed. Your limbs tangled together as well as your hearts, you’d stay in bed for a while, savoring each other’s warmth until Luka gets up to make breakfast.

sus

Heyy can i request a luka x fem!reader fic? Like you know how how luka is always calm and cool? What if he turns into a living mess after he meets reader? Like no stuttering or something but hes ranting about her to juleka all the time and cant concentrate when shes around??

what are you doing to me? // luka x fem!reader

request: anonymous

warnings: fluff, swearing?, Luka being a mess

pairing: Luka Couffaine x Fem!Reader

a/n: I really wanted to write some Luka stuff and this kind of stretched out to a good amount of words so I hope you like it! :)

"Dear God, Luka, stop talking!" Juleka shouted at her brother who entered her room uninvited for the 4th time today. She had understood he didn't have anybody really to talk to, but Lord was he getting annoying at this point.

"But I have to tell you something"

Pushing him out of her cabin one last time, Juleka stood at the door frame and stared at the blue boy. "Go out and find a life!" Of course, she didn't mean it like that, but before she could manage what she is doing, she slammed the door shut in front of him.

Luka was taken aback by the change in Juleka's attitude. He didn't flinch though. He was always that one collected and calm person in every group. Anger never fulfilled him in the ways it sometimes filled his mother, for example.

Anarka had never been the type to prohibit them of their freedom, but she tends to let her emotions take over her. When somebody mentions their dad, she turns red, wrathful at the memories that flow across her head. And it's never long until she completely lets rage form her.

But Luka was different. He was always the serene boy you would find in the back of the class writing songs, practicing riffs. When somebody took it out on him, Luka sucked it in, forgetting about the scene in a few days. He had never lost his temper, beat someone up, melted at someone's touch...

He didn't mind it, after all, there was nothing to whine about. He had all his emotions under control, and even though he would never admit it- it made him feel superior to others.

So Luka decided to go to the park. Whenever he had nothing to do, a simple solution always came to his mind- a warm walk through the park.

"Hi, Nino" he exclaimed seeing the familiar couple by the water fountain. "Hi, Alya."

Alya offered him a soft smile, taking a piece of Andre's ice cream. Nino lent him his famous handshake. "I'm excited for tonight!" said Alya, referring to the private hangout at Couffaine's that was yet to come.

Luka had completely forgotten about it. How could he do such a thing? Still, he kept his cool exterior, nodding his head in agreement. "Me too"

"Oh shoot! I forgot I was supposed to meet Y/n tonight" Alya looked back on her schedule.

"Who's that?" Luka questioned, having never heard of that name before

"An old friend of mine. She just recently moved here"

"She can come, too."

"Really?" Alya's face lit up in joy "You would do that?"

The blue-haired boy laughed "If there's one place in Paris everybody is welcomed, it for sure is the Couffaine's ship!"

"Great, we'll see you there soon!" Alya added before collecting her phone and her boyfriend, running to meet up with her long-term friend.

Luka was left alone by the fountain, staring faintly at the water drops in the pool. Hot summer day took a toll on him and his eyes closed slightly under the pressure of the beaming sunshine.

A wooden bench called out to him and so he sat underneath the cooling shade of the trees. Moments passed and Luka grew to be more impatient. Guests were to come tonight, maybe he should return and help Juleka set up for the evening hang out...

Just on a mark, a girl ran to the park, out of her breath. She seemed worn out as she breathed heavily from the excessive physical activity. She looked at the phone in her hands, it responding with a typical GPS lady voice.

"Shit" she mumbled as she frantically tried to get the directions from the small machine.

"Hey" Luka called out to her from his sitting position in the corner "Are you lost?"

The girl looked around, making sure the blue boy was talking to her. "Yeah, I guess I could say so." Just as she returned him the look, Luka was struck by her beauty. It seemed like such a cliché, really. And Luka hated clichés. Yet, he was mesmerized by the girl who stood before him.

"Right... Where do you need to go?" He asked, collecting himself by her feet.

"Uh," she let out an unknowing hum "Here"

The picture she showed was blurry but Luka figured the place. It was a place he liked to visit sometimes, too. He showed her the directions, making sure she knows all the tracks.

"Thank you so much" The girl beamed with happiness in her eyes "Thank you for helping me"

Luka nodded, and the girl turned around to leave in the direction he just showed her. Luka contemplated for a second before asking a question just as she was about to leave "Can I know your name, at least?"

Hope in his eyes, he stared at her for a full moment until she broke the silence. "We only just met. Besides, where's the fun in that?" Sending him one last wink goodbye, she disappeared into the streets of Paris.

Juleka wasn't a person one could easily talk to. Except for Luka. Luka knew his sister was quite an introvert and a rather shy soul. He respected it and grew to watch over her, protecting her privacy with others. But with him, she was sometimes an extremely cheerful and bubbly person. Hell, there were moments he wished she could stop talking!

So when the two of them collaborated in decorating the harbor for their friends, they finished rather quickly. In under 2 hours, the duo managed to make the best party ship anyone has ever seen.

"Alya is bringing a friend," Luka said as he and Juleka tried to put the last fairy lights around.

"Really? Who?"

"An old friend who just moved here. Y/n as I recall."

Juleka nodded, trying to remember the name "Oh yes, Y/n. Alya told us about her. I'm glad to finally meet her."

Soon enough, the guests started to gather and their home was erupting from chit chats and music. Luka talked to everybody, getting lost in the crowd. His mind always found its way back to the silhouette of the lost girl from the park. There was something he couldn't get enough of in her...

"Luka, could you play us something?" asked Marinette to what Luka only nodded, heading to his room for the guitar.

"Alya is here!" Rose exclaimed when she noticed her friend at the entrance. Next to her stood a girl, a girl Alya has told them almost everything about.

"Hi, guys! This is Y/n" everybody welcomed them, all eyes prying on the newbie.

Marinette came closer and hugged her "I'm Marinette" she addressed as she offered her a soft smile "I've heard so much about you!"

"I could say the same" Y/n returned the sweet gesture.

"What took you so long?" Nino asked looking at his watch and then back at them.

"My bad. I got kind of lost."

The moment Luka stepped on the ship, the last thing he expects to see was the girl he couldn't stop thinking about. The girl that has been playing in his head all day, since the moment they met. Well, not exactly met.

"You" he blurted without thinking as he set his guitar down.

The pair of orbs he remembered from this morning, looked up at him, as surprised as him. "You" she joked back, not breaking the eye contact.

"You two know each other?" Marinette asked looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Not really. He helped me find the way this morning" Y/n explained

"And she didn't even tell me her name"

"It's more fun this way, don't you think?"

Luka chuckled offering her a handshake. "I'm Luka"

"Y/n"

The night moved slowly and Luka found himself growing more and more nervous whenever Y/n was around. This can't be! He's always the calm one, the collected one, the untouchable one. No, no. It's just a mire admiration. Nothing much, really. He's as steady as ever...

"Spin the bottle!" Alya shouted out of nowhere

Numbers of confused faces turned to her in a moment. She proceeded, explaining her outburst. "Let's play spin the bottle"

The teens looked around, meeting with other's sights, nodding in agreement. Soon enough, the group was sat on the floor. Upon choosing a seat, Luka looked around. There were 2 left: beside Y/n and opposite of her. He wanted to sit beside her, really. Oh, just how he wanted to sit beside her, their knees touching... But he was so nervous. His palms sweat just for the thought and his heart raced with a speed unknown to man.

So he sat opposite of her.

"Right, so, we are playing spin the bottle combined with truth and dare. A person spins the bottle and they ask "truth or dare?" the one who the bottle has sat on." Alya explained.

Marinette went first, the bottle landing on Y/n. The bluenette smiled softly and asking the question. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth"

"Are you happy to be in Paris?"

"Very!" The two exchanged graceful smiles earning a groan from Nino.

"Where are the fun questions! C'mon dudettes!" he cried obviously disappointed in his friends.

Marinette looked at him in confusion "What do you want me to ask?"

"I don' know, something interesting. Like, describe your perfect type, or something"

Y/n laughed for a second. "Well I don't really have a type but guitarists hold a special place in my heart"

Luka looked at her in surprise but wasn't met with her gaze. That was it. He'll lose his mind because of this girl and there's no turning back. He'll be defeated, if only he wasn't already.

Y/n grew to be a great addition to the class and the friend group. And she grew closer to Luka's heart, more close than he liked to admit. When she was around, his mind was rollercoasters, when she was away her melody played in the back of his head. It was exhausting, really. Luka had never acted this way, especially not for a girl. It was all new to him.

It had been almost two months since Y/n's first day in the city of love. Never had she imagined that she would fall so in love with the people, the culture, the capital of France in general. She was standing on her balcony, looking at the most beautiful sightseeing- the Eiffel tower.

"Mom, Dad, I'm leaving, see you later!" she shouted as she closed the front door behind her. Juelka had invited her to help her out with band stuff. She was a bit surprised to say at least for Y/n wasn't much of an intellectual in that field.

The traffic was light and soon enough she stepped foot on the magnificent ship. The boy she already knew very well was strumming his guitar in the corner.

"Nice tune" she whispered, coming behind him

Luka jumped a little, taken aback by her unexpected figure. "Y/n? Why-"

"I invited her, I need some help," said Juleka from the door. "I'll be back in a second" and with that, she disappeared.

Y/n sat on a chair beside him, feeling the tension rise. Luka's melody became more insecure, more unsteady. It felt as if he was trying too hard.

"What happened?"

"I don't know" Luka answered, regretting holding the guitar now. It was true, when she was around, it was not much he could do. His mind always wandered elsewhere.

An uncomfortable silence took over them. Juleka was nowhere in sight. After some minutes of complete dull, Y/n stood up eager to leave. "Tell Juleka I'm sorry, but I just remembered I have to go."

Luka wanted to say something, but he couldn't. He was afraid of blurting out something way more stupid. So he nodded, regretting his decisions. What has she done to him? He can't even think straight, what to do, what not to do. He's a mess and it's all because of her.

"What are you doing you, idiot, go after her!" Juleka stormed out of the ship, scolding her older brother.

"What?"

"Go after her! Tell her how you feel! God!"

"What are you talking about?" Luka played it off dumb

Juleka's anger only grew "Oh please, mister untouchable, you're not so secretive about it. You can never concentrate when she's around, when I mention her, you grow all impatient. You talk about her ALL THE DAMN TIME. I can't listen to you anymore!"

Luka shifted in his spot "I don't talk about her that much"

"You literally stormed in my room last night talking about her humor and how cool she is. Go tell her how you feel, Luka"

He contemplated for a minute making Juleka impatient "Now! Go!"

The blue boy nodded, setting his guitar aside, and running as fast as he could. He ran the way he remembered Y/n to go. His legs could sprint only so fast but somehow he managed to run it all the way through.

Just by the bridge, she saw her walk by herself. It was already getting late, the sun was just around the corner, held by its fingertips to not yet say goodbye. She was looking to the river, calm and alone. "Y/n!" he shouted, putting all the energy he had to pull it through.

"Y/n!" he screamed once more to what the girl turned around. Just as she was about to ask what was happening, Luka panted taking her hand in his the moment he got the chance.

"No, no, I talk." He said taking a deep breath and looking right into her eyes. "Y/n from the moment we met in the park, I couldn't stop thinking about you. You took a tool on me, god, I'm wrapped around your finger! I can't focus when I see you, I lose all my senses when you smile"

Y/n smiled at the ongoing love declaration. "And no matter how hard I tried to cover up my feelings, to forget you, there just is no escape. I am lost, I'm losing my mind. God, what are you doing to me? I rant about you to Juleka, dear Lord. You made a mess out of me, Y/n, and I love, I love, I love you."

And before thinking, Y/n pressed her lips against his. She kissed him long and lovingly, making him melt under her touch.

"That makes the two of us"

This is your daily reminder that Luka Couffaine deserves the world

For the Love of the Game - Masterlist

Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky x Reader 

Summary: Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it. 

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol/drinking, Mild language, Angst, Minor injury, Smut (Minors dni, marked with **), Enemies to lovers trope!

a/n: This series is now complete :)

✶ Part One ✶ 

✶ Part Two ✶ 

✶ Part Three ✶

✶ Part Four ✶ 

✶ Part Five ✶ 

✶ Part Six ✶ 

✶ Part Seven ✶ 

Drabbles/One-shots (chronological after the main series, excluding the prequel) 

Bucky realizing he’s falling in love. Prequel one-shot.

First time**

The fight

Bucky gets injured during a game  

Going pro

What You’ve Got

In seven years

💙⚾️Playlist by @buckystarlight​​

Conspiratorial: Featuring(some) Avengers.

Whenever sleep isn’t a possibility, Bucky would stay up all night watching conspiracy videos with a mildly panicked face as he tries to piece together if he saw lizard people running the goverment or not.

Or if the Mandela effect could be explained by Loki or Thor.

And Steve, worried face an’ all, always has to pull him back to bed with a grumbled, “Jesus Christ, Buck. You were the one who assassinated Kennedy. Now go to bed.”

During the morning commute in the compound’s kitchen, though, Bucky, Peter, and Sam rant about the latest Shane Dawson videos.

Sam is always the first to jump to logical conclusions.

He also spends about 47% of the time pretending like he totally watched whatever they were talking about, though nobody seems to notice or care much.

Peter tries to mess with them both by adding false info or made-up, ridiculous things to see if any of them believe it.

Bucky always does. Every single damn time.

Natasha doesn’t pay much attention to it all, but when she does, there’s always a knowing smirk on her face that could only mean amusement.

Steve finds all of it incredibly ridiculous, but hey, Bucky’s somewhat happy and creating bonds with people, so he couldn’t be too bothered about it, right?

Bruce has an eerily calm vibe to his obvious confusion and worry, but he never comments on it.

In fact, he encourages it all for the same reasoning as Steve. And when Tony decides to finally look up this “Shane Dawson” guy, he gets hooked into the conversation as well.

“Y'know, it’s a great theory and all. The pain-in-my-ass government officials wouldn’t surprise me if they were secretly reptilian. Same with Cap. Nobody could be that honorable and suseptible to ice without being a cold-blooded reptile.”

“I was in ice, too. You don’t see me runnin’ around like a giant lizard.” Bucky frowned.

“Hey, don’t be rude. His name is ‘Godzilla’ and it doesn’t mean there isn’t a possibility to that.” Sam chirps, nudging at the super-soldier’s side.

“That’s enough,” Steve cuts them off sternly.

“Uh-Oh. Somebody pissed off Captain-zilla.” Tony remarks in amusement, before returning to the cooling cup of coffee.

Sam grins behind his own cup and shakes his head. “He’s got a point. Never thought I’d say that about you, Stark.”

“Oh, it must be my lucky day.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Please, if you guys’ are going to turn into some reptile-creature, at least leave me out of it. I already have enough on my plate at the moment.

"We’re not–”

“Don’t be offended, Cap. It’s just a theory, after all.”

Tony heads off to his lab, leaving them all in an awkward silence.

Peter is the first to speak up, and carries on the conversation as if none of that just happened.

Steve is both relieved and annoyed.

Damn technology, he thinks with a scowl.

And then, a moment later: Maybe I am a lizard-person.

100 shadow work/journal prompt ideas

I enjoy journaling. It’s almost like therapy, but you’re figuring it out by yourself. You’re trying to figure out your own issues by putting it on paper, sometimes it’s for self reflecting or for figuring yourself out. This is very similar to shadow work. 

What is shadow work? 

Shadow work is addressing your shadow self, the side of you that you bury deep down and avoid. It’s your unconscious mind, and it is important to uncover this side of you in order to achieve your highest self. There are multiple ways to do this, but the most known (and most effective in my opinion), is journaling. I thought I should share 100 prompts that really make you think. 

1. What was one time you remember feeling wronged as a child? How did you react? Has this affected you into adulthood? How?

2. Think about one time where you’ve felt betrayed. What would you say to the person who broke your trust?

3. Write about a time you felt let down by someone you’d previously looked up to.

4. What’s one trait you see in other people that you wish you had. Why do you not possess this characteristic yourself?

5. Do you often find yourself over-thinking what you’ve said or how you’ve acted? What usually triggers this?

6. What were your parents’/guardians’ core values while you were growing up? Do you hold these today or do they differ? How so?

7. What are your core values as a human being? What’s the most important to you? What are you morally passionate about?

8. What tends to trigger envy for you? Why do you think this is?

9. What are the first signs that your mental health is dipping?

10. When are you hardest on yourself? Why? Where do you think this stems for? Why do you put yourself under so much pressure? Why are you so reluctant to be kind to yourself?

11. How do you react when you’re angry? Is this similar to other people who have been in your life since childhood? Why do you think this is?

12. What triggers you? Can you identify where this came from?

13. How do you perceive failure? What is your definition of failure? How does it make you feel? Are you afraid of it? Why might this be? How did your parents/guardians react to failure?

14. What situations make you feel less than or not good enough? Why do you think this is?

15. What is your relationship with your parents and/or siblings like? How was it as a child compared to now? Why do you think this is?

16. What parts of your parents/guardians growing up do you see in yourself now? When did these begin to become apparent?

17. What toxic traits have you recognised in your parents? How did it make you feel when you realized that your parents weren’t perfect? Do you also possess these traits yourself?

18. What are your toxic traits? How do these present themselves? How do you project these onto others?

19. What aspects of yourself would you like to improve? Why? Has anyone in your past ever made comments suggesting that you should? If so, how did this make you feel?

20. How do you feel about who you are as a human? Why?

21. How often do you forgive yourself? What kind of things do you feel you need to be forgiven for? Why is this?

22. Write about a time where you messed up and needed forgiveness. Did you ask to be forgiven? Did you apologize? How did it play out?

23. Do you form obsessive or unhealthy attachments easily? Why do you think this might be; do you have a fear of change/abandonment/rejection? Or, on the other hand, do you find it difficult to form emotional attachments; do you struggle with commitment or get restless staying in one place for a certain amount of time? Where do you think this stems from?

24. How do you fill your time when bored? What gives you enjoyment? What self-care do you regularly practise?

25. What negative emotions do you tend to avoid? Why might this be?

26. What negative emotions do you actually feel quite comfortable sitting with? Why might this be?

27. Write about one person you’ve never forgiven. What happened and why did you not forgive them? Was it warranted? How has this event affected you going forward? Do you think you could forgive them now? How did you move on from this?

28. How do you carry the weight of your past trauma? How has it affected you?

29. How did you process emotions as a child, teenager, and young adult? How do you process negative emotions now? Has this changed over time?

30. How do you enforce boundaries? How do you feel when people overstep them? How do you react?

31. What is the biggest lie you consistently tell yourself? Why?

32. What misconceptions have you noticed about your harbor? Can you think about where these started?

33. What are your preconceptions about femininity? Why do you think this is? Where did they come from?

34. What are your preconceptions towards masculinity? Where did these come from?

35. What does the term ‘Shadow Work’ mean to you?

36. What are three main goals you want to achieve with your shadow work?

37. Did you have any heroes growing up? Who did you look up to and why?

38. How were you taught to deal with emotions as a child?

39. How do you deal with negative emotions now?

40. What’s the most hurtful thing you’ve ever done to someone else?

41. What’s the most hurtful thing you’ve done to yourself?

42. How have you moved forward from hurting someone else?

43. How do you plan to move forward after hurting yourself?

44. What’s the biggest promise to you that someone else has broken? How did it make you feel? Why?

45. What’s the biggest promise you’ve broken to yourself? Why? How do you feel about that?

46. Have you ever broken a promise to someone else? Why?

47. When you really think about it, is there any area of your life you’re in denial about?

48. What do you constantly lie to yourself about?

49. What do you lie to other people about? Why?

50. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told and why?

51. Have you ever had your heart broken? Write about this time in your life.

52. Have you ever broken someone else’s heart? Was it unintentional or intentional? Write about this.

53. Do you ever find yourself manipulating people in an attempt to protect yourself?

54. What’s a question you had as a child that you never got a real answer to? Do you have that answer now?

55. What is something that you’ve always wanted to confront someone about? Why haven’t you? Do you plan to? Why?

56. What is the meaning of life to you?

57. What was the last argument you had about? Was it resolved?

58. How do you feel about confrontation? Why do you think this is?

59. Do you ever have physical reactions to emotional feelings? Write about these. Why do you think this happens?

60. What’s your favorite way to self-soothe? Describe your perfect self-care day.

61. What family patterns am I repeating? 

62. When was the last time I truly felt at peace? Where was I? Who was surrounding me? 

63. In what situations do I feel less than others, equal to others, or better than others? Why do I feel that way? 

64. How do I define failure? 

65. What has been my biggest personal failure and why? 

66. When was the last time I felt jealous of someone else? What do they have that I want? 

67. What is your ultimate dream? Are you currently living your dream? What steps can you take to make it happen?

68. What is your favorite book of all time and why? Movie?

69. Are you doing what you love for a living? What is your dream job?

70. Make a list of 10 things that make you smile.

71. What do you wish you could do everyday?

72. Write down your own bucket list.

73. Write about someone who inspires you.

74. What’s an embarrassing moment you can look back on and laugh now?

75. List 10 of your favorite things, can be anything.

76. Write down your top 10 travel destinations.

77. How do you spend your time alone?

78. What are you the most grateful for in your life?

79. Do you care what other people think of you? why?

80. What excites you about the future?

81. What are some new hobbies you would like to try?

82. How do you want to be remembered?

83. What do you want to accomplish today and tomorrow?

84. What is your favorite song and why?

85. What motivates you?

86. What are your top priorities in life?

87. What are 5 physical features that you love about yourself?

88. What gift do you think you were born with?

89. What holiday or event do you look forward to every year?

90. How would you describe yourself to a stranger?

91. What life lessons have books taught you?

92. Which fictional character would you most like to be, why?

93. What is your favorite place?

94. Is there anything that has changed your outlook on life?

95. Can you keep a secret?

96. How would you change the world?

97. Are you good at organizing your time?

98. What would you do if you could travel into the past?

99. Where in your life do you need to be more fearless?

100.What would you change about your high school experience?

Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier

Whumptober 2022

No. 15: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

Tarot - Major Arcana

These are just short basic descriptions to help get through the cards

Fool

Upright

Beginnings

Innocence

Spontineity

Free spirit

Reversed

Holding back

Recklessness

Risk-taking

Magician

Upright

Manifestation

Resourcfulness

Power

Inspired action

Reversed

Manipulation

Poor planning

Untapped talents

High Priestess

Upright

Intuition

Sacred knowledge

Divine feminine

The subconious mind

Reversed

Secrets

Disconnected from intuition

Withdrawal and silence

Empress

Upright

Femininity

Beauty

Nature

Nurturing

Abundance

Reversed

Creative block 

Dependence on others

Emperor

Upright

Authority

Establishment

Structure

A father figure

Reversed

Domination 

Inflexibility 

Excessive control 

Lack of discipline

Herophant

Upright

Spiritual wisdom

Religious beliefs

Conformity

Tradition

Institutions

Reversed

Personal beliefs 

Freedom 

Challenging the status quo

Lovers 

Upright

Love

Harmony

Relationships

Values alignment

Choices

Reversed

Self-love 

Misalignment of values 

Imbalance 

Disharmony

Chariot

Upright

Control

Willpower

Success

Action

Determination

Reversed

Self-discipline 

Opposition 

Lack of direction

Strength

Upright

Strength

Courage

Persuasion

Influence

Compassion

Reversed

Inner strength

Self-doubt

Low energy

Raw emotion

Hermit

Upright

Soul-searching

Introspection

Being alone

Inner guidance

Reversed

Withdrawal 

Loneliness 

Isolation

Wheel

Upright

Good luck

Karma

Life cycles

Destiny

A turning point

Reversed

Back luck

Resistance to change

Breaking cycles

Justice

Upright

Justice

Fairness

Truth

Cause and effect

Reversed

Unfairness

Lack of accountability

Dishonesty

Hanged Man

Upright

Pause 

Surrender

Letting go

New perspective

Reversed

Delays

Resistance

Stalling

Indecision

Death

Upright

Endings

Change

Transformation

Transition

Reversed

Resistance to change

Personal transformation

Inner purging

Tempernace

Upright

Balence

Moderation

Patience

Purpose

Reversed

Imbalence

Excess

Self-healing

Re-alignment

Devil

Upright

Shadow self

Attachment

Addiction

Restriction

Sexuality

Reversed

Releasing limiting beliefs

Exploring dark thoughts

Detachment

Tower

Upright

Sudden change

Upheaval

Chaos

Revelation

Awakening

Reversed

Persoanl transformation

Far of change

Averting disaster

Star

Upright

Hope

Faith

Purpose

Renewal

Spirituality

Reversed

Lack of faith

Despair

Selt-trust

Disconnection

Moon

Upright

Illusion

Fear

Anxiety

Subconcious

Intuition

Reversed

Release of fear

Repressed emotion

Inner confusion

Sun

Upright

Positivity

Fun

Warmth

Success

Vitality

Reversed

Inner child

Feeling down

Overly optimistic

Judgement

Upright

Judgement

Rebirth

Inner calling

Absolution

Reversed

Self-doubt

Inner critic

Ignoring the call

World

Upright

Completion

Integration

Accomplishment

Travel

Reversed

Seeing personal closure

Short-cuts

Delays

And as always, merry meet <3

Atti

P.1 Common Herbs A-Z

This is A-C of some common herbs and their uses

Acorn

Good luck

Protection

Wisdom

Personal power

A dried acorn is an excellent natural amulet for keeping a youthful appearance.

Allspice

Money

Luck

Healing

Obtaining treasure

Provides added determination and energy to any spells and charms. Burn crushed allspice to attract luck and money. Use in herbal baths for healing.

Almond

Wisdom

Money

Fruitfulness

Prosperity

Invokes the healing energy of the deities. Provides magickal help for overcoming dependencies & addiction. Associated with Candlemas and Beltane. Carry, wear, or use as incense to attract abundance.

Aloe

Protection

Luck

Place on the grave of a loved one to promote peaceful energy. Thought to relieve loneliness and assist with success. Hang in the home to attract luck and protection for those who live there. Grow in the home to provide protection from household accidents. Burn on the night of a full moon to bring a new lover by the new moon.

Apple

Love

Garden Magick

Immortality

Friendship

Healing

Place seven apple seeds in a bag with Orris Root to attract sexual love. Use in rituals to give honor to gods and goddesses of fertility. Considered the food of the dead, which is why Samhain is called the 'Feast of Apples'. Symbolizes the soul and is burned at Samhain in honor of those who will be reborn in the spring. When doing a house blessing, cut an apple in half -- eat half and put the other half outside of the home as an offering.

Apricot

Love

Add leaves and flowers to love sachets or carry apricot pits to attract love.

Banana

Fertility

Potency

Prosperity

Basil

Love

Exorcism

Wealth

Sympathy

Protection

Dispels confusion, fears & weakness. Drives off hostile spirits. Associated with Candlemas. Carry to move forward in a positive manner despite perilous danger. Strewn on floors to provide protection from evil. Sprinkle an infusion of basil outside of the building where you hope to be employed for luck in a job interview or in your business to attract money and success. Wear or carry to aid in attracting money and prosperity.

Bay leaf

Protection

Good fortune

Success

Purification

Strength

Healing

Psychic powers

Write wishes on the leaves and then burn the leaves to make the wishes come true. Place under the pillow (or use in dream pillow) to induce prophetic dreams. Place in the corner of each room in the house to protect all that dwell there. Carry bay leaf to protect yourself against black magick.

Black pepper

Banishing negativity

Exorcism

Protection from evil

Blackberry

Healing

Protection

Money

Sacred to Brighid. Leaves and berries said to attract wealth and healing.

Bluebell

Luck

Truth

Friendship

Incorporate into rituals of death & dying to comfort those left behind and ease their sorrow.

Blueberry

Protection

Though not recommended, blueberry is said to cause confusion & strife when tossed in the doorway or path of an enemy.

Burdock

Used for cleansing magick when feeling highly negative about oneself or others. Use in protection incenses and spells. Rinse with a decoction of burdock to remove negative feelings about yourself or others.

Cabbage

Fertility

Profit

Good luck

Lunar magick

Money magick

Cactus

Chastity

Banishing

Protection.

Bury with other banishing symbols for protection. Grow in the home or garden to prevent unwanted intrusions. Place in all directions of the home (north, south, east, and west) for full protection.

Cardamom

Lust

Love

Fidelity

Carrot

Lust

Fidelity

Cashew

Money

Celery

Mental powers

Psychic powers

Lust

Fertility

Male potency

Chamomile

Love

Healing

Reducing stress.

Add to a sachet or spell to increase the chances of its success. Sprinkle an infusion of chamomile around the house to remove hexes, curses and spells. Burn or add to prosperity bags to increase money. Burn as incense for de-stressing, meditation, and restful sleep. Wash hands in an infusion of chamomile for luck before gambling or playing cards. Use in bath magick to attract love. Keep a packet of the herb with lottery tickets for luck.

Cherry

Love

Divination

Gaiety

Happiness

Chestnut

Love

Chilli Pepper

Fidelity

Love

Hex breaking

Scatter powder around the house to break hexes and spells against you. Use in love charms & spells.

Chives

Protection

Weight loss *weight loss spells can be dangerous*

Cinnamon

Spirituality

Success

Healing

Protection

Power

Love

Luck

Strength

Prosperity

Burn as an incense or use in a sachet to raise spiritual and protective vibrations, draw money, and stimulate psychic powers. A popular herb for use in charms to draw money & prosperity. Wear in an amulet to bring passion.

Citronella 

Draws friends to the home, customers to the business. Promotes eloquence, persuasiveness, and prosperity. Protects and cleanses the aura. Encourages self-expression and creativity (great for writers & actors!) and brings clarity to the mind. Repels insects and deodorizes

Clove

Exorcism

Love

Money

Protection

Coconut 

Chastity

Protection

Purification

Coffee

Helps to dispel nightmares and negative thoughts and to overcome internal blockages. Provides peace of mind and grounding.

Coriander

Love

Health

Immortality

Protection.

Tie fresh coriander with a ribbon and hang in the home to bring peace & protection. Add to love charms and spells to bring romance or use in ritual work to ease the pain of a broken love affair. Promotes peace among those who are unable to get along. Throw the seeds in lieu of rice during Handfastings and other rituals of union. Use the seeds in love sachets and spells. Add powdered seeds to wine for an effective lust potion. Wear or carry the seeds to ward off disease and migraines.

Cucumber

Chastity

Fertility

Healing

Cumin

Fidelity

Protection

Exorcism.

The seed is said to prevent the theft of any object which contains it. Burn with frankincense for protection. Scatter on the floor alone or with salt to drive out evil. Use in love spells to promote fidelity. Steep in wine to make love potions.

Curry

Protection

Burn curry powder to keep evil forces away.

And as always, merry meet <3

Atti

What's really in that witch's cauldron?

Folk names for herbs

Ass' Ear- Comfrey

Bat's Wing- Holly Leaves

Beard Of Monk- Chicory

Bear's Foot- Lady's Mantle

Bird's Eye- Germander or Speedwell

Blind Eyes- Poppy

Blood From a Head- Lupine

Blood Of Ares- Purslane

Blood Of Hestia- Chamomile

Bloody Fingers- Foxglove

Calf's Snout- Snapdragon

Cat's Foot- Ground Ivy

Crow's Foot- Wood Anemone

Devil's Ear- Jack In The Pulpit

Devil's Plaything- Yarrow

Dew Of the Sea- Rosemary

Dog's Mouth- Snapdragon

Dragon's Teeth- Vervain

Elf Leaf- Lavender

Englishman's Foot- Common Plantain

Fairy Eggs- Nutmeg

Flower Of Death- Vinca

Goose Tongue- Lemon Balm

Graveyard Dust- Mullein

Hawk's Heart- Wormwood

Juno's Tears- Vervain

Jupiter's Beard- Sempervivums

Lion's Foot- Lady's Mantle

Little Faces- Viola

Man's Bile- Turnip Sap

Mortification Root- Rose of Sharyn

Nose Of Turtle- Turtlehead, Chelone

Nosebleed- Yarrow

Our Lady's Tears- Lily Of The Valley

Old Man's Flannel- Mullein

Ram's Head- Valerian

Scale Of Dragon- Tarragon

Semen Of Ares- White Clover

Semen Of Hermes- Dill

Serpent's Tongue- Dog's Tooth Violet

Sparrow's Tongue- Knotweed

Tree Of Doom- Elder

Unicorn Root- Boneset

Weasel Snout- Yellow Archangel

Wool Of Bat- Moss

Body Parts as Plants:

Eye- Blossom or Seed

Heart- Bud or Seed

Beak, Bill or Nose- Seed, Bud or Bloom

Tongue or Teeth- Petal or Leaf

Head- Blossom

Tail- Stem

Hair- Dried Herbs or Stringy Parts Of Herbs

Privates, Genitals Or Semen- Seeds Or Sap

Blood- Sap

Guts- Roots or Stalk

Paw, Foot, Leg, Wing or Toe- Leaves

Animals as Plants:

Toad- Sage

Cat- Catmint

Dog- Grasses, Specifically Couchgrass

Frog- Cinquefoil

Eagle- Wild Garlic

Blue Jay- Laurel

Hawk- Hawkweed

Lamb-Wild Lettuce

Nightengale- Hops

Rat- Valerian

Weasel- Rue

Woodpecker- Peony

I borrowed this from:

Little ways to have a more Magikal Day 🌿🌞🪐

credit: @CraftingWitch on Instagram !

posted 06/19/2022

Tonight I write about mercury. It is by far my favourite planet.

Mercury is the smallest planet in our solar system, (but is a little bit bigger than earths moon.) It has no rings, nor any moons.

It is the closest planet to our sun, and on Mercury the sun would appear three times as large. The closer the planet is to the sun, the faster it is, making Mercury the fastest planet in our solar system, travelling through space at 47 kilometres per second. Due to this, it also has the shortest year of all the planets, only lasting 88 days.

Even though the planet is so close to the sun, it has water ice. Ice was discovered in permanently shadowed creators that don’t receive any sunlight. Mercury doesn’t have enough atmosphere and is way too hot for life, but organics were also found on the planet! Finding these organics demonstrates how these compounds were distributed throughout our solar system. There’s also a large amount of Sulfur on the planet, something in which scientists are still trying to figure out as no other planet in our solar system has it in such high concentrations.

Mercury rises or sets very close to when the Sun does, which means amateur astronomers are often fighting against twilight to observe the tiny planet, because it rises and sets very close to the time the sun does. With that said, the ancients had darker skies than we did, and were able to see Mercury pretty well. Even despite us having some trouble looking for the little planet, it’s been known of for Millenia, and was linked to some of the gods in ancient cultures.

Despite Mercury being the smallest planet, it has a large spot in our creative conscious, inspiring many science-fiction authors such as; Isaac Asimov, C. S. Lewis, Ray Bradbury, Arthur C. Clark, and H.P. Lovecraft.

until next time <3

Super stressed with assignments and exams right now and I just want Peter to keep me company and help me study and soothe me when I get overwhelmed and reassure me when I start doubting myself :’)

but for now I will sit on my own and fantasise about it whilst writing about blood/alcohol concentration x

I'll try to be of help in the only way I know how!

First, here's a Spotify playlist for studying (not mine):

An instrumental one to make you feel like your studying in a big, old library. There's dim lighting and the smell of old books. You're tucked away in the corner by a large window during a rain storm. [x]

Secondly, here’s a chill vibes study moodboard to go with the playlist:

Thirdly, here’s some Peter helping you study headcanon’s for you to fantasize about when you can’t bear to look at anything anymore:

Peter would absolutely stand behind you and massage your shoulders and neck while you work. Those big hands and long fingers are wonderful at unclenching your muscles. 

He would show up with a backpack full of treats. Your favorite snacks and drinks piled in there. If you ran out, he would find the nearest vending machine and empty it out for you if you asked. He does the coffee runs and brings you lunch/dinner when it’s time. 

Constantly making sure you’re hydrated and trying to force feed you water when you get too in the zone. 

If he could do anything to help like taking notes, making flashcards, or helping you research anything he’ll jump at the opportunity. 

Every few hours he makes you get up, stretch, and walk around the block with him. He says that sitting hunched over for that long is not good and you need the fresh air. You complain about it but he’s always right. You’re always more focused after a quick walk outside and come back with a new determination. 

He’ll quiz you with flash cards and makes up dumb, little games for you. (like you get a kiss if you get something correct)

Sometimes he’s more a distraction then a help. His attention span isn’t the best. He’ll get fidgety and start drumming pencils on the table or bouncing his leg, something that is done repetitive enough that it starts to get under your skin. He might get bored and start playing with the ends of your hair or trying to hold your hand while your in the middle of the something important. During those moments all you have to do is shoot him a death glare and he’ll get the hint, opting to go on another coffee run or take a bathroom break to give you some quiet. 

He’s the best at pep talks though. Peter obviously thinks the world of you so he’s great at hyping you up. “What do you mean you can’t do it? You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met in my entire life! You a gift to this world and everything you have to offer is nothing less than magic.” His hyperbole and enthusiasm make you roll your eyes but, secretly, it makes you feel a little more confident in yourself. 

If you ever break down from too much stress, he’ll jump up and pull you into his arms for a hug. He’ll rub his hands over your back and snuggle his face into the top of your head. He whispers sweet things in your ear until you start to calm down. Then he forces you to take another break. This time taking you with him to the 7-Eleven and having you restock the snacks. You guys will share a Slurpee on the walk back (even though Peter ends up drinking most of it, you knew you should have just gotten two). 

When you start to doze off and lay your head down on the table, Peter unzips his sweatshirt and draped it over you. He gently steals the books from under you and continues taking notes from where you left off. 

And lastly, when everything is over, he will reward your hard work with a lot of this: 

living in my head rent free

the amazing spiderman.

lost backpacks. lab explosions. comic books. parkour. sarcasm. quick quips. exclamation points. breaking the fourth wall. science puns. skateboarding. late night patrols. skyscraperdiving. film cameras. layered clothing. fake glasses. no one seems to grasp the concept of the mask. record stores. record player. uncle ben’s vinyl collection. webshooters. naps on web-hammocks near the ceiling. phone out of battery.

[marvel masterlist]

[id: screenshots of tiktok captions. the images say, “but the only reason we still love princess diana is because she did not have the time to disappoint us.”]

begging queer kids to read up on princess diana’s involvement with the community. yes, she was a rich, pretty monarch. yes, she died young.

but the reason why queer people love her is because she used her privilege during the aids crisis to advocate for sick queer men, when very few others would - much less someone of her status.

diana spent years advocating for the health and care of queer people with hiv/aids. in 1987, at the height of the epidemic, she opened the first specialist clinic dedicated to treating aids patients (the first clinic of it’s kind in the uk).

she also fought public hysteria by hugging and shaking bare hands with aids patients, at a time when aids was thought to be spread by skin to skin contact. not only that, she visited patients in the clinic regularly and even comforted them through their sickness.

and when queen elizabeth told her to try focusing on “something more pleasant”?

diana ignored her and kept fighting.

and this is only her work towards the aids crisis. she publicly called out the royal family, brought attention to numerous world issues, and was known as an advocate for empathy and kindness. she’s known and loved as the people’s princess for good reason

sleepy subway serendipity | tasm!peter parker x reader

summary: a stranger on the train ride home brightens up tuesday, the worst day of your week

warnings : swearing, discussion of theoretical danger to reader (not anything insane), fem!reader

1.9k word count

Tuesdays were hard for you. Your job had you waking up earlier than any self-loving person should wake up, and working later than any person ever deserves to work. The train home was always brutal, but Tuesdays were the worst. On Tuesdays, you worked far into what you considered to be your bedtime and always ended up having to take a late subway ride back to your “quaint” apartment. It was 11:23 PM and you had barely managed to hop onto the train before the doors had shut on you. As the train whirred off into the night, you took account of your surroundings. Despite it being later than you’d willingly stayed up in a year, the people of the “city that never sleeps” were in fact not sleeping. In fact, it seemed that every last one of them was on the downtown-bound 2, alongside you. As you did a quick scan of the car, you weighed your options. 

Keep reading

When you just want to read some fluff or angst but the only thing you can find is smut:

Hey :) hope ur doing good! I was wondering if maybe you could do something about tasm!peter parker where reader is upset because she always has difficulty falling asleep and he's just really soft with her trying to calm her :)

hi tysm for ur request here is some fluffy hurt/comfort for you

"What's wrong?" Peter asks you, breath warm on your cheek. 

You look at him out of the corner of your eye from where you'd been staring at the ceiling dejectedly. 

"How do you do that?" you whisper. 

"How do I do what?" 

How do you know when I'm upset, even if you're asleep? You don't ask. 

Fingertips on your face. You shut your eyes as his fingers climb from the corner of your mouth to the edge of your eyebrow, a sweeping, featherlight line that makes you shudder. 

He chuckles under his breath and does it again. 

"How do you know-" you sigh and turn your face, disrupting his teasing. His eyebrows are creased softly in concern. "Can you tell, when I'm…"

"Upset?" 

You bite the inside of your bottom lip. What you can see of him in the dark you adore, the bump of his nose, the hill of his cheek. His cupids bow; the little well above his lips you've kissed a thousand times. 

"I have a sense for it." 

You roll your eyes and turn back to the ceiling. "Right. Your Spidey sense." 

Peter's hand comes up to your shoulder. He kisses your cheek. "No, baby. This one's full Peter Parker. I call it my 'I love my insomniac girlfriend' sense." 

"S'a mouthful," you say, words all squished with terrible smugness, pleased by his affectionate tone. 

His nose is pressed to your cheek, words warm against your skin as he talks. "You'd hate the original name then." 

"I dread to ask," you say, smiling at him. He pushes up onto his elbow to hover over you, pressing his hand lightly over your chest. 

"Yeah, I liked 'My gorgeous darling love of my life can't sleep and the unhappiness burdening her becomes my unhappiness through the power of my adoration alone' but the board's still out." 

"Board should stay out. That's awful," you murmur, eyes squinting from the force of your lovesick smile. 

"I know," he admits, dropping his chin in embarrassment, "I didn't have much time." 

"Leave it to me. I find myself with an abundance of free time," you say theatrically, edged in bitterness. 

Peter's hand climbs from your chest to your neck. His thumb brushes against the bottom of your throat, fingers wrapping around. "Have you done your checklist?" 

"Yeah, Pete." 

Hand moves up again, fingers at your chin, fingers at your mouth, pulling down your bottom lip, gliding across them. He pauses, eyes looking all fresh honey sticky, before he leans down to press a chaste kiss to your frowning mouth. 

You feel a little of the tightness between your shoulders loosen. 

"You want me to make you something?" 

The tears you've been fighting start to win. "No," you say quietly. 

He hums. "And you had a bath?" 

"I did the whole checklist, Pete." 

He frowns at your glassy eyes. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, wiping the first tear away with the pads of his fingers. 

You shut your eyes and turn your face from him. "I just want to sleep." 

"I know, bub," he says, slipping his hand between your cheek and the pillow you're hiding in. 

"I'm really, really tired." 

"I know." 

"You can go back to sleep if you want to," you say miserably. "Sorry. I shouldn't keep you up." 

"You're not keeping me up. M'just spending time with my girl."

His niceness has an opposite effect. You curl in on yourself and feel a childish whine building in your chest. You're so tired of being tired. 

Peter lies back down in the space where he'd been and pulls your back into his chest, wrapping his arm around your front. You're instantly comforted - his arms are a safe haven. 

He dots a kiss on your shoulder. "It's okay. We just have to ride it out, yeah? Like we've done before." His hand spreads over your heart. "Try and calm down," he says soothingly. A second kiss to your shoulder. 

You bring your hand up and put it over his. He turns his own and threads your fingers together. It's not the kind of problem that can be solved by love and affection, but it certainly helps. 

Modern Art

tasm!peter x fem!reader

summary: inspired by Reckless by Madison Beer and All Too Well. Angst because all of us have pain kink (yes I'm looking at you.) requested by @buckyjbarneswhore | masterlist

Peter had fallen in love with you even before asking you out. It wasn't much of a surprise, that boy was always a hopeless romantic.

He loved the way you laughed, loved how he made you laugh. He loved how you hummed the songs he never understood, your voice, your kindness, how you doodled nonsense on his papers, how you hugged Aunt May whenever you saw her — he loved anything and everything about you.

Then one day, he went to Oscorp. You knew he saw something there, but he wasn't keen on saying what it was.

That was the first secret he hid from you.

You thought you were imagining things. Sure, he didn't spend much time with you anymore, but he was busy. You told yourself he was busy even though the two of you had the same classes and the same workload.

You ignored the feeling at the back of your head, the one that told you to be careful.

————

"Hey, we're going to a party tonight. Wanna come?" Aimee asked, smiling wide. "Trick question. You have to."

"Then I guess I'll be there." You returned a smile, knowing you didn't need much persuasion anyway. You didn't have much work and anything's better than sitting around doing nothing.

"I need to do a beer count. Is Peter going to be there?" she asked, taking out the little pink notebook she carried around. You had gifted it to her on her birthday and she hasn't parted with it since.

"He's uh, busy." You were suddenly interested in the book in front of you.

"Oh man, you're dating Peter Parker?" One of your other friends, Mark, looked up from whatever he was reading.

"Yeah, why?"

"No reason. He's a chill dude. Saw him yesterday. He bought me coffee at Helsey's after I was drunk off my ass," Mark said, laughing. "Owes me skateboard lessons too."

"Wait, wait," you sat up straighter. "Helsey's cafe is near your house."

"Of course it is."

"Your house is nowhere near the public library."

"Okay...?"

"Peter said he was at the library," you said, sounding worried. "He said he had a personal project or something."

"Why would he lie?" Aimee asked, closing the pink notebook.

"C'mon guys, you're overthinking this," Mark interrupted swiftly. "In fact, I'm pretty sure his friend mentioned something about going to the library too!"

"His friend? He was with someone?" you asked, trying to sound casual.

"Yeah, Gwen Stacy."

————

"I'm thinking we should go to that little restaurant they opened up?" Peter asked, handing over the flowers he had hurriedly bought on his way over. "Sort of as an apology for my absence the whole week?"

"I'm not feeling good. I'd rather stay inside," you said, hoping you sounded normal. You put the flowers in an empty vase and threw the bag into the bed, then opened your laptop.

Peter frowned. He had off days too, when he wanted nothing more than to disconnect from the entire world for a while, but your demeanor said something was wrong.

You running through whatever you're looking for on the laptop and ignoring your boyfriend standing awkwardly near the door was the closest thing you had done to giving him the cold shoulder.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked, sitting down on your bed.

You laughed forcefully. "Don't be ridiculous, Peter. Why would I be mad at you?"

"I mean, if you are- that's totally justified. I know I wasn't the most attentive guy last week. I blame it on my project—"

"Speaking of," you interrupted cheerfully, slamming the laptop shut and turning to him. "What's this project about?"

He was taken back. "Uhm, arachnology."

"Arachnology?"

"Yes?"

"That sounds like a question."

"I mean, yes. Definitely," he said, nodding. "I'm researching on arachnology. Why the sudden interest?"

"I feel bad for not knowing what's going on in your life." You replied, waving it off.

You had hoped he was a better liar, just so you could comfort yourself that it was all okay like your rose-colored glasses made it out to be. Apparently not.

"I appreciate that." Peter held your gaze, both of you knowing there was something more. Something he wasn't saying.

"Are you doing the research with Gwen Stacy?" The question had slipped off your mouth before you could think about it. He seemed even more surprised.

"Why would I study spiders with Gwen?" he laughed, not meeting your eyes.

The way her name fell from his lips said he knew her, and the affection behind it said he was fond of her. You bit down your lips and told yourself that you were being crazy. Friends care for each other, and you needn't worry about that.

If there was something going on, Peter's not the type to hide it. Then again, you thought he wasn't the type to lie at all, but isn't that what he just did?

————

The story wrote itself from there. So now here you are, alone at your birthday party, having everyone around you but him. You were pretty sure he had forgotten about it altogether.

When everyone left for home, you went to your room and swallowed the resentment. It felt like a statement on his part. He used to write little notes for you during class, with small lines that made you smile even though they were sappy. He said he'll never hurt you, but here you are, close to tears on your own birthday.

There was a knock on the window.

You didn't need to turn to know it was him.

"Hey, I got us pizzas!" he said energetically, then noticed your red gown, the slumped shoulders, the irregular breaths. "Y/N...?"

You turned around, wiping the first tear that had shamelessly slid down your face. The last thing you wanted to do was look broken in front of the man who broke you.

He took in your makeup, or rather the smudged edges of it. You looked so utterly strong yet cautious, as if you had just built a brick wall over your emotions.

"Oh!" he connected the dots, leaving the pizza on the bedside. "Your birthday- holy shit, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry—"

"Where were you?" you asked calmly.

He blanked. What was he supposed to say now? That he was so consumed with a bogus research that he forgot his girlfriend's birthday? Or the truth? Both would hurt the same.

"Gwen Stacy," you said the name slowly. "Why did you tell me you don't know her?"

He took a deep breath in. "I didn't say that. I just didn't tell you she was just doing the research with me—"

"If that was the case, why did you lie?"

"I thought you wouldn't understand! If I told you I had something super important to research with another girl, especially my childhood crush, don't tell me you wouldn't have gotten jealous!"

"Fuck you, Parker," your voice rose louder. "You know I'm not that type of overprotective partner. You know you could have just told me. But you didn't. Why?"

"There's a lot of compli—"

"Why?" The word ricocheted off the walls, making Peter almost take a step back.

"Did you cheat on me?" you whispered, biting down your lips so you wouldn't yell again.

"No," he shook his head far too quickly. Yet he looked guilty. You quickly connected the dots.

"Are you in love with her anyway?"

Peter's face fell. "I didn't plan to."

Tears freely started to fall now, but you didn't care. You took a deep breath in.

"You could have told me that from the start."

"I love her now but I loved you first," he said defensively. "I did. But then I was spending more time with Gwen and somewhere along the way, it just happened. I never wanted to hurt you, but would you really blame me for loving someone?"

"You're honestly asking me that?" you asked, your voice shaking. "All I did was love someone and where did that get me?"

"You don't understand—"

"What the fuck don't I understand?"

"I'm Spiderman!" He interrupted, raising his hands in surrender. He began rambling even without seeing your reaction. "Gwen works at Oscorp. She helped me. I knew you wouldn't have approved if I told you I was fighting for my life everyday. Not like she does."

You understood why he was saying that. Peter Parker was in his core, nothing if not kind. He didn't want to deal with how he hurt someone, so he threw a half-assed excuse at your face, hoping you'd agree and let him go. He didn't need your pain on his conscience so he resorted to wallowing through excuses.

Steady breaths, that's what he used to say when you were having a bad day. Steady breaths and a steady mind. Can't be all bad, right? I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere.

Despite everything, you smiled. Steady breaths it is.

"I knew you were Spiderman, I knew it from the start," you said, almost amused.

He blinked, surprised yet again. Maybe he was more stupid than he gave himself credit for. After all, you were his girlfriend. If there was someone in the world who could figure it out, who else would it be if not you?

"You wouldn't have loved me anymore," he finished his ranting, desperately hopeless. "No matter what you say now, you wouldn't have!"

"I would have loved you any way you wanted me to."

He opened his mouth to say something, closed it again, realizing he had just run out of excuses. Nothing to give, nothing that you'll ever trust again.

"I'm sorry," he said, genuinely meaning it. "I'm so fucking sorry that I hurt you. You are a good person and—"

"Get out."

"Let me just-"

"Get the hell out!" you pointed to the window.

He didn't want to cause any more of a mess, so he did as you asked, though hesitant as ever.

And as he climbed that window down one last time, you looked at the vase in the corner, the one which had the flowers he bought for you; all of them completely wilted now.

————————

second and final part here!

————————

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Dream Of Me | tasm!p.p

summary: this is something I thought of writing for @agnesamarantheastwood after I saw a personal post about her suffering from insomnia. V, you are the sweetest person ever, I really hope this makes you feel somehow happy and so very hugged, you're also a part of what made me come back to writing in here, so this is also a thank you.

In which Peter comforts reader after waking up to a panic attack caused by a heavy insomnia episode coming from his girlfriend.

pairing: Peter Parker (tasm!) x reader

genre: fluffy, comfort

involves: crying, cuddling, disney, top tier boyfriend!peter, a clueless author trying her best to write about insomnia

word count: 1,9k

Peter and you were dating for four months now, and you got to tell him once or twice about your troubled sleep schedule. He knew how melatonin pills and other meds usually helped you sleep and that you never got to the point of running out from those, either carrying them in your purse for nights at his house or travels or keeping a tidy mini stock of them on your bathroom counter.

However, Peter failed to notice how, even with the pills still there –though the stock remained untouched–, you were not really functioning to the best of your capacity. You kept yawning and the bags you usually already had under your eyes were now a deeper color each day, but you didn't mind running out of concealer sooner as long as it kept you from having that conversation with a worried Peter.

The truth is; for the four months-time you were dating, your boyfriend never got to see when insomnia got the worse of you. Peter never met the really sleep-deprived y/n, and that encounter kinda scared you. You knew that it wouldn't take long for it to get harder and harder for you to sleep, –you even though this time it was taking too long for another crisis–, but gosh it felt so good how you weren't taking longer than usual to fall in a deep slumber, so you decided to just enjoy that.

You were scared that the minute Parker met with the harsher consequences of you not having proper sleep, the second he caught you unfocused, zoning out and forgetting so many things like you knew you ended up doing on your worst cases, he'd realize it could be maybe a little too much, and maybe he'd leave.

You had to give Peter some credit, he has been nothing but a sweetheart to you, but the tiniest possibility of overwhelming your boyfriend –who was already busy with his own problems that felt like the weight of the whole city– left you feeling like you were too much work to him and it was unfair.

So this thought just added up to your anxiety as you tossed and turned in bed a little after two in the morning trying to find a good position for your body to just rest and sinfully thinking nonstop about how much sleep-time you already lost and everything you'll have to do tomorrow as your eyelids were firmly shut. gosh, you had to wake up at six.

You didn't even realize your body was shaking. Peter did though, –even if he was lucky to have already dozed off, he always noticed the breakdown of things, claiming that it was like he had an exclusive spidey-sense just for you.– Your boyfriend rolled up in the bed hugging you from behind, still lightly asleep, but that didn't help. Instead, you felt trapped and uneasy and you didn't know how to approach that in the absolute middle of the night.

You sighed, throat burning as you gulped, finally taking your phone out of under the pillow and putting it on the bedside desk, you had to try it one more time, you had to sleep.

You felt so absolutely conscious about everything around you and about your tucked body forming almost a ball of limbs under Peter's left arm, –which felt heavier than ever–. Peter cleared his throat as he opened his eyes, waking up alarmed by your troubled atmosphere. You were shaking.

"Hey..." His voice sounded raspy but firm. Peter took his hand away from your waist. "y/n, turn over, look at me... look at me," Peter cooed. As you turned over, he stared at your wide-eyed, distressed form and frowned just a little bit. "Hi," Peter said, you sniffled in response.

"It's okay, I'm here, look at me," He kept staring deep into your eyes, giving instructions so you would calm down "It's okay baby, I'm here now," Peter finally decided to touch you again, aiming his hand towards your shoulder, you hiccuped for air, still feeling that burning sensation on your throat. "Wow, you're sweating- breathe for me, okay? slowly... We need to slow this down, nice and soft."

Even if your boyfriend was the only one doing the talking, he didn't demand an immediate response from you as he noticed you slowly coming back to your senses and following his directions, eyes piercing through his as well, letting out long, shaky breaths. "Attagirl, you're doing amazing!", As your breathing pace came slowly back to normal, Peter's concealed fear was subsided, relief taking over. Of course, he has done it before, calming people down after rescuing some of them during building fires and other situations, he has never, though, calmed someone he deeply cared for during a situation he didn't know the reason. To see you cooling down meant to Peter that he was doing a good job, and, most importantly, that you'll be fine.

"Hold on to me, okay? Everything is okay, it's just me and you...," when you finally looked a bit more present, you were lying on top of him, holding onto him with both arms and an apologetic look on your face, "panic attack?" Peter finally asked, trying to understand what brought you to that previous state, you shook your head lightly, showing a thin smile, "I can't sleep." You stated simply but sighed deeply avoiding to stress over it again.

"Aww babe, I'm sorry; I just woke up and I felt something was wrong and then I heard your heart beating..."

"Sorry I woke you up, Pete." Guilt washed over a part of you, either you woke him up or he really did feel like something was going on and you disturbed his sleep.

Peter smiled reassuringly; "There's nothing to be sorry about, it's a good thing I'm here." You noticed how his features still looked sleepy, he ran a hand through your hair. "Keep breathing deep and slow. It's all good, beautiful, you're doing very good."

He chuckled under you, "You know, you should really consider keeping me around, I'm gonna have my uses..." He joked. When he woke up, feeling you shaking and listening to your loud heartbeat, his train of thought didn't fail to give him a lot of terrible-case scenarios and then some. He had yet to know if the lack of sleep you mentioned was caused by anything, or if he was experiencing the first time you had an insomnia case by his side. The possibility that his presence gave you anxiety made his heart feel small.

"Yeah? So I can use you?" You chuckled, giving a little twist to his joke. It was weird how cozy you felt right now even though your mind kept racing with different outcomes of Peter understanding the whole of your condition.

"Yeah you can use me anytime you want!" Peter's laugh probably would be considered too loud for the late hour as he blinked an eye at you. For a few moments, the both of you fell in silence, and the boy could still hear your rapid heartbeat. "Oh, wow! Your heart is still racing!" he whispered; as you frowned, he placed one of his hands over yours on top of your chest, waiting for a few seconds so you could feel the rhythm yourself. "See, that's crazy!" As you admired his surprise, Peter fell quiet for a short moment, before he could continue:

"Haering your heartbeat like this... feeling it, so fast... I don't like it, you know?" He rhetorically asked, chuckling a bit, "It makes me think like, I don't know like you're so fragile... I wanna take care of you" Peter concluded, preventing himself from rambling as he made his way to getting up, offering you some water. You stopped him by grabbing his arm, shaking your head slightly, "No, no, no I want you here."

"It's okay," He smiled, relaxing "I can stay, I'm not going anywhere- oh wait let me get a candle." Peter used of his already lifted torso and reached for your bedside table across from you. While he lit the candle with an electric lighter, you appreciated his caring aura, looking at his beautiful traces.

"You're staring." you smiled after hearing that, your boyfriend was back at your side, hugging you a bit. Deciding that you were silent for too long, you started to explain how you felt, trying your best to find the right words. "It just that, like, when it reaches a point when I'm really not sleeping, I get so out of it Pete, really, plus I could just black out anywhere sometimes because I'm so tired but my body won't accept proper sleep at the right time and-"

Peter sighed, using his tongue to wet his lips a little, "You know, when you're awake in the middle of the night, especially when going through a phase like that or when these things are on your mind, I wanna be awake too." You turned your head to look at him as if he had just said the craziest thing.

"I don't want you to be alone when you're in a moment like this... Come here, wait." It was as if he just thought of something really fast; Peter got up from bed, throwing his blanket a little, and you were onto doing the same when he quickly grabbed you bridal style, cooing something like "Come here my baby", he carried you two through the small hallway that divided the rooms on his suit, it felt messy as you kept the fluffy cover on your hands, and you giggled, asking him "What are you doing?" in a low tone.

As he got to the living room, Peter placed you on the couch and turned to the tv, looking for the remote. You sat comfortably with the blanket over you and legs tucked close to your upper body. Peter had put on Disney+, he knew a little about your comfort movies and tales, stuff that felt like small talk as you shared them on your first dates, but that he actually did remember.

"You know, If you don't sleep through this one we can put on Sleeping Beauty," Peter gave you a side smile while going to sit beside you, remote in hand and the old animation story of Robin Hood loading on the TV screen. "Ironically I know it's one of your faves." Peter continued as he made himself comfortable.

As the Rooster started to sing the Whistle Stop, barely a minute into the movie, your boyfriend started scratching your neck, feeling content when you hummed. "You remember the first time you told me you suffered from insomnia..? We were, like, two months in and you were having a little trouble to sleep?" You put your head on his shoulder, "I told you I'm okay with that. 100%, beautiful. I'm lucky to be with you regardless," His hand now caressed the place in between your ear and the nape of your neck and you closed your eyes, both enjoying the sensation of his touch, the song, and the feeling of relief that washed over you knowing that Peter would stick around, through heaven or high water.

"I love every itty bit of you", he hushed, you smiled, slowly turning your head to look at him again, "everything?"

"Yeah, even your toes, even your weird big one." Peter provoked, taking a loud cackle from you as he failed on shushing through his giggles. "Oh, no... that was bad." He could sense your smile through your voice as you moved your head back to his shoulder, scootching a bit so you were cuddling.

"I'm always at your service, m'kay? Babe, I love you." You felt completely relaxed as Peter murmured, eyes finally closing again as you now drifted off, finally, to the sound of your boyfriend's breathing and a comfort movie.

My Fears Won’t Stop Me From Loving You

PAIRING: TASM!Peter Parker x Reader

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

NOTES: first I love you + reader scared of falling in love = fluff and pain. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. happy valentines day loves <3

Sometimes you have to tear your eyes away when you find yourself looking at him for too long, just so he doesn’t see that look in your eye. The look he claims that’s always on your face when you’re gazing at something that you undeniably love.

And you are undeniably in love with him.

But even the thought sends a chill down your spine and an inkling of fear settle in your brain. This boy, this incredibly sweet and loving boy who’s been your boyfriend for a little over six months, has still not heard those three little words spill from your lips. Peter couldn’t help but say the words on your fourth month anniversary. When he said them, your mind went blank and you went completely silent. Instant fear had run through him, just the thought of making you run away or be upset with him makes his blood run cold. You felt horrible, so you took his hand and kissed the back of it, reassuring him that it’s not what he thought. 

You just couldn’t say it back, not yet at least. You weren’t ready to say something that held so much meaning. Maybe to some people it was easy, something they could say without a second thought, but you, you don’t say it unless you mean it.

Keep reading

Dream Of Me | tasm!p.p

summary: this is something I thought of writing for @agnesamarantheastwood after I saw a personal post about her suffering from insomnia. V, you are the sweetest person ever, I really hope this makes you feel somehow happy and so very hugged, you're also a part of what made me come back to writing in here, so this is also a thank you.

In which Peter comforts reader after waking up to a panic attack caused by a heavy insomnia episode coming from his girlfriend.

pairing: Peter Parker (tasm!) x reader

genre: fluffy, comfort

involves: crying, cuddling, disney, top tier boyfriend!peter, a clueless author trying her best to write about insomnia

word count: 1,9k

Peter and you were dating for four months now, and you got to tell him once or twice about your troubled sleep schedule. He knew how melatonin pills and other meds usually helped you sleep and that you never got to the point of running out from those, either carrying them in your purse for nights at his house or travels or keeping a tidy mini stock of them on your bathroom counter.

However, Peter failed to notice how, even with the pills still there –though the stock remained untouched–, you were not really functioning to the best of your capacity. You kept yawning and the bags you usually already had under your eyes were now a deeper color each day, but you didn't mind running out of concealer sooner as long as it kept you from having that conversation with a worried Peter.

The truth is; for the four months-time you were dating, your boyfriend never got to see when insomnia got the worse of you. Peter never met the really sleep-deprived y/n, and that encounter kinda scared you. You knew that it wouldn't take long for it to get harder and harder for you to sleep, –you even though this time it was taking too long for another crisis–, but gosh it felt so good how you weren't taking longer than usual to fall in a deep slumber, so you decided to just enjoy that.

You were scared that the minute Parker met with the harsher consequences of you not having proper sleep, the second he caught you unfocused, zoning out and forgetting so many things like you knew you ended up doing on your worst cases, he'd realize it could be maybe a little too much, and maybe he'd leave.

You had to give Peter some credit, he has been nothing but a sweetheart to you, but the tiniest possibility of overwhelming your boyfriend –who was already busy with his own problems that felt like the weight of the whole city– left you feeling like you were too much work to him and it was unfair.

So this thought just added up to your anxiety as you tossed and turned in bed a little after two in the morning trying to find a good position for your body to just rest and sinfully thinking nonstop about how much sleep-time you already lost and everything you'll have to do tomorrow as your eyelids were firmly shut. gosh, you had to wake up at six.

You didn't even realize your body was shaking. Peter did though, –even if he was lucky to have already dozed off, he always noticed the breakdown of things, claiming that it was like he had an exclusive spidey-sense just for you.– Your boyfriend rolled up in the bed hugging you from behind, still lightly asleep, but that didn't help. Instead, you felt trapped and uneasy and you didn't know how to approach that in the absolute middle of the night.

You sighed, throat burning as you gulped, finally taking your phone out of under the pillow and putting it on the bedside desk, you had to try it one more time, you had to sleep.

You felt so absolutely conscious about everything around you and about your tucked body forming almost a ball of limbs under Peter's left arm, –which felt heavier than ever–. Peter cleared his throat as he opened his eyes, waking up alarmed by your troubled atmosphere. You were shaking.

"Hey..." His voice sounded raspy but firm. Peter took his hand away from your waist. "y/n, turn over, look at me... look at me," Peter cooed. As you turned over, he stared at your wide-eyed, distressed form and frowned just a little bit. "Hi," Peter said, you sniffled in response.

"It's okay, I'm here, look at me," He kept staring deep into your eyes, giving instructions so you would calm down "It's okay baby, I'm here now," Peter finally decided to touch you again, aiming his hand towards your shoulder, you hiccuped for air, still feeling that burning sensation on your throat. "Wow, you're sweating- breathe for me, okay? slowly... We need to slow this down, nice and soft."

Even if your boyfriend was the only one doing the talking, he didn't demand an immediate response from you as he noticed you slowly coming back to your senses and following his directions, eyes piercing through his as well, letting out long, shaky breaths. "Attagirl, you're doing amazing!", As your breathing pace came slowly back to normal, Peter's concealed fear was subsided, relief taking over. Of course, he has done it before, calming people down after rescuing some of them during building fires and other situations, he has never, though, calmed someone he deeply cared for during a situation he didn't know the reason. To see you cooling down meant to Peter that he was doing a good job, and, most importantly, that you'll be fine.

"Hold on to me, okay? Everything is okay, it's just me and you...," when you finally looked a bit more present, you were lying on top of him, holding onto him with both arms and an apologetic look on your face, "panic attack?" Peter finally asked, trying to understand what brought you to that previous state, you shook your head lightly, showing a thin smile, "I can't sleep." You stated simply but sighed deeply avoiding to stress over it again.

"Aww babe, I'm sorry; I just woke up and I felt something was wrong and then I heard your heart beating..."

"Sorry I woke you up, Pete." Guilt washed over a part of you, either you woke him up or he really did feel like something was going on and you disturbed his sleep.

Peter smiled reassuringly; "There's nothing to be sorry about, it's a good thing I'm here." You noticed how his features still looked sleepy, he ran a hand through your hair. "Keep breathing deep and slow. It's all good, beautiful, you're doing very good."

He chuckled under you, "You know, you should really consider keeping me around, I'm gonna have my uses..." He joked. When he woke up, feeling you shaking and listening to your loud heartbeat, his train of thought didn't fail to give him a lot of terrible-case scenarios and then some. He had yet to know if the lack of sleep you mentioned was caused by anything, or if he was experiencing the first time you had an insomnia case by his side. The possibility that his presence gave you anxiety made his heart feel small.

"Yeah? So I can use you?" You chuckled, giving a little twist to his joke. It was weird how cozy you felt right now even though your mind kept racing with different outcomes of Peter understanding the whole of your condition.

"Yeah you can use me anytime you want!" Peter's laugh probably would be considered too loud for the late hour as he blinked an eye at you. For a few moments, the both of you fell in silence, and the boy could still hear your rapid heartbeat. "Oh, wow! Your heart is still racing!" he whispered; as you frowned, he placed one of his hands over yours on top of your chest, waiting for a few seconds so you could feel the rhythm yourself. "See, that's crazy!" As you admired his surprise, Peter fell quiet for a short moment, before he could continue:

"Haering your heartbeat like this... feeling it, so fast... I don't like it, you know?" He rhetorically asked, chuckling a bit, "It makes me think like, I don't know like you're so fragile... I wanna take care of you" Peter concluded, preventing himself from rambling as he made his way to getting up, offering you some water. You stopped him by grabbing his arm, shaking your head slightly, "No, no, no I want you here."

"It's okay," He smiled, relaxing "I can stay, I'm not going anywhere- oh wait let me get a candle." Peter used of his already lifted torso and reached for your bedside table across from you. While he lit the candle with an electric lighter, you appreciated his caring aura, looking at his beautiful traces.

"You're staring." you smiled after hearing that, your boyfriend was back at your side, hugging you a bit. Deciding that you were silent for too long, you started to explain how you felt, trying your best to find the right words. "It just that, like, when it reaches a point when I'm really not sleeping, I get so out of it Pete, really, plus I could just black out anywhere sometimes because I'm so tired but my body won't accept proper sleep at the right time and-"

Peter sighed, using his tongue to wet his lips a little, "You know, when you're awake in the middle of the night, especially when going through a phase like that or when these things are on your mind, I wanna be awake too." You turned your head to look at him as if he had just said the craziest thing.

"I don't want you to be alone when you're in a moment like this... Come here, wait." It was as if he just thought of something really fast; Peter got up from bed, throwing his blanket a little, and you were onto doing the same when he quickly grabbed you bridal style, cooing something like "Come here my baby", he carried you two through the small hallway that divided the rooms on his suit, it felt messy as you kept the fluffy cover on your hands, and you giggled, asking him "What are you doing?" in a low tone.

As he got to the living room, Peter placed you on the couch and turned to the tv, looking for the remote. You sat comfortably with the blanket over you and legs tucked close to your upper body. Peter had put on Disney+, he knew a little about your comfort movies and tales, stuff that felt like small talk as you shared them on your first dates, but that he actually did remember.

"You know, If you don't sleep through this one we can put on Sleeping Beauty," Peter gave you a side smile while going to sit beside you, remote in hand and the old animation story of Robin Hood loading on the TV screen. "Ironically I know it's one of your faves." Peter continued as he made himself comfortable.

As the Rooster started to sing the Whistle Stop, barely a minute into the movie, your boyfriend started scratching your neck, feeling content when you hummed. "You remember the first time you told me you suffered from insomnia..? We were, like, two months in and you were having a little trouble to sleep?" You put your head on his shoulder, "I told you I'm okay with that. 100%, beautiful. I'm lucky to be with you regardless," His hand now caressed the place in between your ear and the nape of your neck and you closed your eyes, both enjoying the sensation of his touch, the song, and the feeling of relief that washed over you knowing that Peter would stick around, through heaven or high water.

"I love every itty bit of you", he hushed, you smiled, slowly turning your head to look at him again, "everything?"

"Yeah, even your toes, even your weird big one." Peter provoked, taking a loud cackle from you as he failed on shushing through his giggles. "Oh, no... that was bad." He could sense your smile through your voice as you moved your head back to his shoulder, scootching a bit so you were cuddling.

"I'm always at your service, m'kay? Babe, I love you." You felt completely relaxed as Peter murmured, eyes finally closing again as you now drifted off, finally, to the sound of your boyfriend's breathing and a comfort movie.

i found out freedom is empty when it's all you have