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Fanfiction master list
disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately
Warnings: All Smut, given the nsfw title, thoughts about pregnancy, periods, mention of prior ptsd [AFAB Reader/anatomy used]
Word Count: 2,035
A/N: Honestly, I feel this could be my most "outlandish" set of headcanons for one of the girls, but only because I think I interpreted Lottie differently than others might. I don't really have a reason, it just kinda feels right for her I guess? I'm not really sure. As always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading!đ
Lottie Matthews Tag List:
Yellowjackets Tag List: @frasersgf @minimickzy
General Tag List: @summergeezburr
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A = Aftercare (what theyâre like after sex)
Sheâs very touchy-feely after sex wanting to be the one to clean you up, run her fingers through your hair to freshen it back up, and take you into the bathroom for a bath because she just wants to pamper you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerâs)
Itâs corny as hell, but she loves your eyes. She constantly watches how your eyes grow and change with every touch because that is the truest indicator of pleasure and approval that sheâs found. The eyes can rarely lie, and oh how beautiful yours are when they roll back in during the height of ecstasy that she gets to bring upon you
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
She loves the taste of your cum on her tongue, especially when she gets to mingle it with the taste of your lips after sheâs done a good job.Â
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Sheâd never bring it up unless the conversation lead to it, and itâs not really âdirtyâ per se, but she often thinks about how beautiful youâd be carrying your (being you and her) baby. The thought of you bringing a new life into her world that belongs to the both of you is just so magical to her and it kind of gets her going. It could have stemmed from watching Shaunaâs pregnancy during a traumatic and developing time, sheâs not sure. Of course, sheâd never put you in a position where you felt that having children is a requirement with her, but if you wanted it sheâd gladly welcome the idea and enjoy the view
E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what theyâre doing?)
I donât think sheâs all that experiences in general. Lottie doesnât seem to me to be the type to have explored that a lot in her teen years given she thought sheâd have had time in college and after the crash, she was sent away. Sheâs only been able to explore herself for the last few decades and I think sheâs a far more guarded character than we might think, so itâll take quite a bit of time for her to get comfortable enough with someone to explore that part of herselfÂ
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
She loves being on her knees for you, holding your hand in hers as she eats you out with you dripping down her chin and cheeks. She loves her view from below. But if sheâs the one being pleased, she wants you right next to her in bed, hand buried deep in her as she wraps around you, her head buried into your neck and shoulder with little to no space between you. She wants to feel your breath fan over her face and hear every comment you have to make whispered in her ear.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
Lottie is extremely serious about sex. It's almost ceremonial or sacred to her. She feels as though sex is an ultimate bond that partners choose to take that can help them grow into a whole new point in their relationship. Sheâd convinced that sex can and will elevate your relationship to a whole new level that connects you in more ways than just physical. Over time though, I think she can become more casual when it comes to sex if that's what you both want, and with that loosening up, I could see her becoming more carefree and silly during intimacy
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
I honestly don't think any of the girls are completely hairless after the wilderness just because 1) they got used to having body hair, and it's no longer taboo for them and 2) they were growing up in the 90âs when body hair wasnât stigmatized. But for Lottie, she seems like the type to wax rather than shave, but she doesn't keep up with it rigorously, so it's common for her to have a reasonable amount of growth most of the time because it doesnât bother her. And thatâs with everything. Arms, legs, all the goods
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)
Sheâs sickeningly romantic. There isnât a moment where sheâs not entangled with you in one way or another and she constantly murmurs sweet nothings in your ear, as you do with her because she craves any form of praise. She also loves sex under candlelight, or just fire in general. The way the flickering light gives her a minimal view of you, but what she can see is basked in hot, warm light is such a turn-on in of itself, even when you haven't touched her yet
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
She didnât masturbate a lot before. Again, Lottie didnât explore her sexual side much, if not at all till well into her adulthood. But once sheâs committed to a relationship with you, masturbation is reserved for when she canât have you, and part of her loathes it because sheâd much rather be touching you than herself. And while sheâs learned to please you, there's a curve in learning to please herself that she finds intensely frustrating. It could be really fun to teach her Â
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Body worship, except she wants to do the worshiping rather than be worshiped. Sheâs tried it the other way before and even with it being strictly and completely out of intimacy, it reminds her of her teen years and the position she felt forced into. Despite still being in a leader's role in her comune, it's not out of a want for that position. It's to provide the healing she also needs. She much prefers to be on her knees for you, bathing in words of praise and encouragement as you reward her with pleasure
Sheâs also into tantra sex, which is using sex as a spiritual connection. Itâs part of why she loves your eyes so much and constantly wants to be as close to you as possible when intimate, almost to the point of becoming one being
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Of course, she loves sex in the sanctity of your bedroom, but on particularly daring nights sheâs a fiend for having sex out by the forest fire pit under the stars and the moon. There's an exhilarating feeling about being able to be as loud as you like but still wondering if youâre truly alone, and she adores having the fire lit, blazing beside you, and warming exposed skin even further
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Sheâs especially turned on when you get touchy-feely with her, especially on her face. She loves when you touch her ears and the back of her neck specifically. Do that enough and sheâs whisking you away for herselfÂ
N = No (something they wouldnât do, turn-offs)
She is very against period play but only when itâs her. If youâre on your period she doesn't care one bit about pleasing you, but when itâs her, she doesn't want to be touched down there whatsoever. The image of you with that much blood brings out such a heavy feeling of dread that she doesnât like thinking aboutÂ
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Sheâs a connoisseur of both but prefers giving. She loves looking up at you through her lashes with those big bright brown eyes just to make sure that sheâs doing a good job. She loves the tightening feeling of your legs pressing in on her head and nearly suffocating her because she knows that sheâs making you feel good and right and the clawing feeling of your hands gripping her scalp for support. There's an electrifying magic to it all really
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Sheâs more slow and sensual. She needs to make a connection with you and you canât rush that. Sheâll draw sex out as long as she can just to be one with you for a minute longer
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Sheâs not a quickie girl. She needs to take her time and have her fill
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
I think after a while sheâd be curious to experiment more, but it would take a little time. When she grows interested in adding new things to the bedroom I think sheâd be the type to order a book online. Sheâll read it when she got free time with her reading glasses on, taking a highlighter and sticky notes to the pages of things she wants to remember and keep in mind and sheâll bring them to you when she finished with a new passage to get your opinion on it
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
Sheâs pretty average, not lasting a crazy amount of time. She adores you, but she doesnât need all day or night to be spent with just sex. She enjoys her time with you to be occupied in a wide variety of ways
T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
I don't think sheâs that into penetrative toys. However, things like bondage rope, a silk gag/blindfold, and other kink-related memorabilia are fair game
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Sheâs not much of a teaser in my opinion, mostly because with you thereâs no need to tease. She gets what she wants just by asking, but she does enjoy being teased now and then. But it canât be obvious. Maybe itâs by wearing a favorite dress of hers, or by touching her face each time you need to get past her, or the chance to see her intermittently throughout your days
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Lottie is another quiet girl to me. Sheâs more squeaky and airy when she's making any sound that pleasure related. She whines and whimpers a lot rather than moans and she seems like the type to muffle her words, but I think she talks quite a bit when it's your turn with her, and it's all very rushed and whispery in your ear, her words scrambled together as she tries to get it out before taking another breath tightly through her teeth
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Sheâs into waxplay and is delighted to find out about lotion candles from those esty stores. Sheâs got all different sents and she loves the double use of wax and lotion. She loves both giving and receiving the wax and the additional task of rubbing the lotion in is one of her favorite forms of foreplay
X = X-ray (letâs see whatâs going on under those clothes)
Sheâs pretty lanky in her limbs and tends to hunch her shoulders when relaxed. I think sheâs got a small happy trail over her stomach and she often braids her hair before sleeping
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Her sex drive is only high because of you. Now sheâll gladly have you every night if that's what you want. But, sex isnât her main priority and sheâs always game for a tame night in with tea and books or a movie instead
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
She doesnât sleep quickly. I think sex is more refreshing for her than anything. Like, after an orgasm sheâs ready for a shower and then goes off to do laundry. That is, sheâs only leaving you if you fall asleep. But when it's very late at night though sheâll stay in bed, curled up with you and stroking your hair till she comes down enough to sleep
petition for the yellowjackets writers to release a pdf of shaunas wilderness journals after the last season is finished because holy shit I need to read them
all of the yellowjackets are going to die.
i've had different versions of this theory bouncing around in my head since mid s1, and if you've seen final destination, you can just skip the rest of the post because you probably already know where i'm going with this.
natalie's death scene was overall unsatisfying in my opinion, but that's not because i don't think that the show was leading up to it eventually. her character arc was rushed and cut off too abruptly, but after sitting with the episode for a bit, i do think that natalie was always going to be the first of the survivors we saw die.
"we both know that's not true. this is exactly where we belong. we've been here for years."
now it's notable that natalie is appearing as she did the night of the party in the pilot. the last night before the plane crash. not just her outfit, but her hair and make up are the same. see how much of her roots are grown out, vs how much they're grown out in the 96 timeline.
when that plane went down 600 miles off course, no one was supposed to survive. not a single person on that plane should have made it out. The Wilderness, the lonely, violent, misunderstood Wilderness kept them alive when they crashed into It. when they found cabin guy's plane back in s1, lottie looked at the vines growing around the wheels and said "It didn't want him to leave", and she was right. laura lee's trip ending in spontaneous combustion should have been enough to prove that if only they were paying attention by then.
they all should have died when that plane crashed. The Wilderness allowed them to survive, to make a home. albeit violently, tragically, It nurtured them through two winters, and ungratefully, they all left anyway. eventually they're all going to have to go home to It, one way or another, dead or alive. It's already been inside them for years.
Masterlist
Summary: Things with Marc have beenâŚtouchy to say the least. Can things get better?
Pairings: Marc x fem!reader
Warnings: Swearing. Established relationships. Verbal conflict. Break up. Physical conflict with some asshole. Knife but no harm to reader. Everything is wet but not how you think. hurt/comfort. angst/comfort. i mean I hope the comfort is there lol.
Word count: 4.3k
A/N: this is for my first-ever fic request. never thought someone would ever want to ask me of all people for a fic. I hope everyone likes it. it kind of got away from when writing it sooooo lol
Things were fairly quiet in the flat as Marc enters looking exhausted. It doesnât take him long to notice the sound of the shower running. You were home. Just great. With an exasperated huff, Marc makes his way to the chest of drawers to quickly pack for yet another mission. Grabbing the things he was looking for he begins to shove them in a bag, trying to hurry out of the flat before you can notice, but he was never that lucky.
The shower turned off as he was putting the last couple things in and in a rush Marc runs into a chair with a loud thud and a âFuck!â
âMarc?â You called from the bathroom, hoping it was him and not some burglar, as you stepped out, wrapped in your towel. He had been gone for quite some time with no word on if he was okay or when heâd be coming back. You and Marc had been together a while now, so long that he actually trusted you enough to tell you about Khonshu and what being his avatar meant. It was a bit hard to believe at first, until Marc summoned his suit in front of youâŚthereâs no denying it then. So you came to understand that what Marc was doing was for the greater good, that he was out there helping good people and punishing bad ones. The first few times he left on a mission, you were worried sick and oh so relieved when he got back no matter how long that would be forâŚbut after a while, after many discussions about just a simple text being enough, some kind of indication he was alive and maybe even when you would see him again him being away also brought frustration and maybe a little anger. While fights had become frequent when his missions were brought up, you both managed to make up and move onâŚuntil it happened again.
âShitâŚâ Marc muttered under his breath, âYeah!âŚyeah, itâs me. Just stopped by to grab some thingsâŚgot a uhâŚlong trip ahead.â He knew what was about to come, another fight, another round of the same old thing.
âThatâs it?! Youâre just grabbing things and going? Were you even going to say âhelloâ? Or âI missed youâ? Or âI love youâ? Just grabbing things and avoiding me now?â Your tone became more and more agitated with each question. You had been waiting for him to come back, like you always did, and had been looking forward to spending time with him. Did he seriously need to go on another mission right as he was coming back from one??
âI didnât think youâd be home.â
âDo you even know what day it is? Of course Iâm home, Marc.â
âYeah, I can see that.â
âDonât get smart with me, Spector. How many more times do I have to ask you, to beg you to just send me a message or call me? If I didnât know any better Iâd say you really just didnât give a shit.â By now youâve shed the towel that was wrapped around you and began to dress yourself. You were fuming and you truly wondered if he did care, if he could change.
âIs that what you think?â Marc let out an exasperated laugh, shaking his head, his grin at your accusatory statement beginning to turn sour. âYouâd like that wouldnât you. To be right about me, huh? Someone who doesnât give a shit about us, about you? FineâŚyou know what youâre right. Iâll save you the trouble and just get the fuck out of here.â
You could feel your heartbeat in your ears. Is he fucking serious right now? Thatâs it. âGood. And donât expect me to be here when you get back.â The words felt cold even to you, but what else could be done? Sleepless nights, the secrecy, the blatant disregard for your relationshipâŚyou were basically like another goldfish for him and the flat your tank, just waiting for Marc to come back and feed you the little flakey sorry excuses for quality time or physical touch. Itâs time to find open waters.
Marc couldnât believe you, he didnât believe you, that you would seriously leave. If heâs being honest with himself (which letâs be honest he can rarely be honest with the people he cares about let alone himself) heâs surprised you havenât left him before now. Maybe he really is a piece of shit that doesnât careâŚno, he canât think like that. Youâve fought before and you make up andâŚeverythingâs okay. Thatâs right. Youâre the one constant in his life and he really does look forward to seeing you after his missionsâŚeverythingâs going to be okay.
He looks at you, intense brown eyes assessing you for your bluffâŚof course youâre bluffingâŚhe shakes his head letting out a puff of breath through his nose before turning and walking out the door, shutting it a little harder than intended but not quite a slam.
Unfortunately for MarcâŚyou werenât bluffing.
As he makes his way out of the flat and on to his next mission you had begun to pack your things, anger simmering into frustration and heartbreak as tears roll down your cheeks. You try to steady yourself but you canât stop the tears. Grabbing your things, or as much of it as you care to take with you, you walked out and locked the door. With the key in hand you looked it for a moment and sighed.
âGoodbye, Marc Spector.â
You knelt down and slid the key under the door, turning away and headed home.
~*~*~*~
Marc tries to quietly enter the flat like he had weeks earlierâŚonce again he hadnât called or texted you to update you on his mission, how he was, when he was coming back. This time however he was going to be able to just relax a while. Knowing things were left not on great terms, he had been ruminating on how to make it up to you. âI wonât be here when you get back.â The whole time he had been away those words stayed with him, he would tell himself you didnât mean it, that you would still be here. After all, you were so patient and understanding of him, his past, and trying to help him make a better future.
Marc wasn't the best at keeping people close, especially the people he cared about. He told himself the reason he never called or texted you while on a mission was for your safety, he didnât want anyone catching wind of him having something or someone to lose. He told himself it was the same reason that when he returned from a mission he would never come directly home. He would always stay at his storage locker a night or so or even stay somewhere else entirely before making his way back to the flat to see you. Of course he never expressed this. That would have made too much sense, made things too easy. And Marc was never good at making things easy, especially for himself.
He walked around the flat, looking for a sign you might be here. He didnât see your bags or your laptop anywhere and he didnât hear the shower or sink so you werenât in the bathroom.
âBabe???â He called out. Maybe you were hiding? Yeah right, not really any place to hide in this open floor plan flat. âBaby???â Still he called out hoping just maybe you were hiding. He started back to the front of the flat, thinking you might have been in the kitchen (maybe with your headphones in listening to music) and he just didnât notice. Marc was beginning to feel like a kid that had gotten separated from their parents at the grocery store. But when he got to the kitchen it was empty. Now he was beginning to panic. Maybe someone had found out about you and took you. He was already jumping to the worst possible scenario.
Clenching his fists, he hung his head trying to think of what to do, how to find you. His hands found their way into his curls as he gave them a tug getting more and more desperate with each passing second. Thatâs when the glint of something metallic flashed at him from a spot on the floor in front of the door. Confused and intrigued, he slowly approached it as if it might suddenly attack, but once he got closer he felt like he would have preferred a key monster attacking him.
Your copy of the key.
He knelt down, picking it up, examining it. This was definitely your key. Realization came crashing down on him. You really meant what you said. He really fucked up.
âShitâŚSHIT!!â
He had to find you. He never wanted it to end like this, hell he never wanted it to end in general. It was one of those moments where you donât truly appreciate what you have until itâs gone. Marc grabbed his jacket and keys and started back out into the chilly London night, thunder rolling in the distance. He had to find you and apologize. You deserved at least that. He told himself that even if you didnât take him back, even if you didnât forgive him, he wouldnât blame you or be upset, you had every right to be upset. He fucked up royally after you begged him to be better. Maybe next time he would learn from his mistake, if he allowed himself to find someone elseâŚbut he didnât want anyone else.
He managed to find a flower shop that was just about to close. Briefly summarizing his situation the shoppist took pity on him, letting him buy a small bouquet. Marc felt that if it was too big his apology might seem insincere or that he was just trying to bribe you to come back. No, the size he got was modest, but not puny. He hoped you would like it, even if you no longer liked him.
With an aching heart, he begins the trek to your place. You both hadnât talked about moving in together just yet, but maybe if Marc hadnât been such an ass maybe you could have.
~*~*~*~
The past weeks had beenâŚhard, to say the least. You had gone home and cried and got angry and cried some more. By now the pain, though still fresh, had simmered down a little. You didnât want things to end that way, but Marc just wouldnât listen, wouldnât change. It was hard having him gone so often, worrying if he was alright even knowing the suit would heal him. You just wanted to have him near you, hold you, and you wanted to do the same to him. Heâs a good man deep down, but he just canât seem to get out of his own way.
Your friends had been taking you out on the town since you broke things off with Marc, trying to get your mind off of it all. It worked, sometimes. Other times you would call it an âearlyâ night and head back to your flat. This was one of those nights.
You had dressed cute, a very flattering outfit in both fit and color. You had a drink or two but nothing crazy, not like one of your friends. They all decided to stay out into the early morning, you however thought about your bed and sleeping in. The sound of your shoes against the sidewalk was really the only sound around in this sleepy part of town, aside from the thunder that seemed to get closer. Heaving a sigh, you cursed at yourself for not having brought a proper jacket or umbrella, but you were close to your neighborhood so maybe you could get there before it truly started raining. Now the bed was sounding even better than before, rain outside, cozy blanket, your comfort movie on, the feeling of being watchedâŚyour steps were no longer the only ones heard echoing in the night air. Your thoughts were yanked from the blissful thoughts of home to the very present moment and the gravity of just how alone you are this late at night.
You donât dare look back, so you start to walk a little fasterâŚthe other steps picking up their pace too. Again and again, until youâre practically running, but try as you might those other steps are quicker. A strong arm suddenly grabs you from behind as a hand quickly covers your mouth as the body begins to carry you into an alley as rain begins to sprinkle down. The man harshly presses you against the hard exterior of the buildingâŚa glint in the dim lightâŚa knife coming to hover in front of your face. As the rain begins to come down truly, it hides the tears that had begun to roll down your cheek.
âHey, pretty lady. Whereâs your friends, hmm? Seen you walking this way couple timesâŚwatching that ass move down the road. But that isnât all I want. Give me your purse, your phone, anything of valueâŚnow.â His voice was harsh and his smell somehow still carried through in the rain. You hate how close he was, close enough to know things about him you never wanted to know. As he shifts against you, adjusting his hold on you, you canât help but whimper in fear.
âCome on now! Donât have all night pretty thingâŚout with it.â He barked in your face as your trembling hands began to comply, handing him your things.
âPâŚplease justâŚplease donâtâŚâ Trying to catch your breath at this moment proved nearly impossible. Your heart pounding against your ribs, your lungs doing the same as your hastened breath matched your heart. This couldnât be happening, why was this happening.
The man tucked your things away, to where you didn't know and didnât care. You let out a whimper of fear of what might come next. The cold rain beating down on the both of you made you feel even more helpless, especially when a figure was suddenly standing at the entrance to the alley you had been dragged in. It was difficult to make out his features with the way the street light was lighting him from the back. Anxiety spiked as you began to wonder if this was another creep wanting to get in on the action, if they were a weird team or something, but more than anything you hoped it was some kind soul who would help youâŚthough you were quickly running out of hope.
âOi, what are you looking at huh?â The creep challenged the figure, so they obviously didn't know each other. You glanced around hoping the man would be distracted enough that maybe you could make a break for it, but before you could hatch a plan the figure was headed towards the both of you. âAre you deaf?! You better walk the other way and mind your business, yeah?!â
By now you had closed your eyes, you didnât know what to do, words were failing you. All you wanted was to be home in bed and for all this to be some sick nightmare brought on by the night's tiring events. The sound of plastic hitting the ground was nearly drowned out by the pattering of rain. In an instant you were colder than before. Was this it? You stood there trembling as time seemed to drag on one agonizing second after another. You realized the creep was no longer caging himself around you, there was a thud and splash of a body hitting the puddling rain on the groundâŚthen a repetitive thunk, thunk, thunk.
Your eyelids felt like they weighed a ton as you slowly opened your eyes, raindrops collecting on them before inevitably falling to your cheeks. And there you see the second man, pummeling the creep until heâs just a groaning barely writhing mess on the ground. When the man stood he gave the creep a swift kick to the gut causing him to cough and wheeze as the man wiped his knuckles clean before retrieving your thingsâŚand pocketing them himself. Oh shit, no this canât beâŚnot another asshole. Your legs could finally hear your brainâs commands as you started to hurry to the alley opening, the crunch of plastic as you stepped on what the man had dropped.
A strong, forceful, calloused hand grabbed your arm as you let out a scream. âNOOOOO! LET GO!!!â Somehow your fight had returned as you pulled against the manâs grip, his other hand coming to grab your arm. He wasâŚsaying something, but you didnât want to hear it, you just wanted to run.
âBABY!!â
You froze, your eyes snapping to look at the man holding you still, eyes wide from adrenaline, fear, and shock. The street light no longer casting a shadow over his features, now the light shone on his damped tan skin and making his wet curly hair glisten.
âMâŚMarc? MarcâŚâ You couldnât help it, seeing him there feeling his grip holding you steady, everything came crashing in. A heartbreaking sob clattered from deep inside. Marc reached up, cupping your face in his hands.
âShhhhâŚshhh itâs okay baby, itâs okay. Youâre safe, baby. Youâre safe.â His thumbs gently stroked your cheeks before slipping behind to pull you in close. The rain beat down on you both as Marc held you until you had managed to calm down enough so your thoughts could catch up with what was happening.
âMarc, youâŚhow did youâŚwhy are youâŚ?â You stuttered as his hand reached up, gently wiping your hair out of your face where it had clung to your skin.
âI uhâŚI was coming to see youâŚto apologize. Wanted to get my thoughts together on what I wanted to sayâŚfelt like walking was the best way to do that. Well, walking where I could. Thatâs when I heard a bit ofâŚwhat was happening. I was already ready to step in and do somethingâŚbut when I saw it was you I just saw red. Baby, Iâm so sorry you had to go through that.â The way he looked at you, his chocolatey brown eyes seeming so dark in the late night, you still didnât understand.
Marc carefully and slowly let go of you to pick up the plastic wrapped bouquet of flowers, now slightly trampled and looking a little rough.
âThese wereâŚthese were for you. Though, I donât blame you if you donât want them now.â He turned the bouquet this way and that to examine the little bit of damage they sustained. Looking back at you, clearly still in shock, he hands you the bouquet and begins to take off his jacket, putting it around your shoulders. The jacket shielding you, it was warm and helped take the chill from your skin. Putting his arm around you, he began to lead you out of the alley and down the sidewalk to your flat. Once at the door, he helped you to unlock it.
âWell, umâŚyou get inside and get warm.â He stood there a moment, not sure what to do really. Should he come in? Would you even want him to come in? Maybe you should call one of your friends to come overâŚMarc doesnât believe youâd want him to stick around too long. So, he begins to take a few steps away from you and the door.
âWhy did you come to find me, Marc? The flowers? What isâŚwhat is happening here? I meanâthank you, for saving me. Forâfor being there, I justâŚI donât understand.â Shaking your head you still tried to make sense of what felt like a very strange sequence of events. You looked at him, like really looked at him. The man you thought youâd never see again except for an awkward exchange at a pub or a tesco. He resembled a sad puppy that had been left in the rain.
âThatâs probably the shock. Youâll want to lay down for a whileâŚlike I said, I wanted toâto apologize. For being an ass, for not listening to you, for all the times you begged me to do something and I never did. Look,â Marc took a deep breath, his shirt now beginning to cling to his body. âI am in no way expecting you to forgive me or take me back or give me a second chance cause quite frankly I donât deserve it. You asked me so many times to do something so simple and I had convinced myself that by me not doing thatânot texting you or calling youâI was protecting you. That I was making it so people wouldnât find out about youâŚand I should have just told you that. I am so sorry. If I hadâif I had maybe you wouldnât have been out tonight. Maybe you would have been back home waiting for me to come home, you wouldnât haveâŚâ his chest began to rise and fall as his breath hastened.
He did this. He caused this domino effect where you could have gotten seriously hurt. It seems no matter what he does, he canât help but hurt the people he cares about. Maybe it is better that he just not get close to anyoneâŚas much as it breaks his heart.
While Marc had begun to spiral you made your way down the front steps over to him, taking his hand in yours.
âMarc, stop that. None of what happened tonight is because of youâŚsure I might have been somewhere else, but some creep could have found me any other night. He could have found me while you were gone on your mission, but,â you quickly added, giving Marc a stern look, stopping him from saying that that would have been his fault too for not being here, âyou canât blame yourself for that. Marc, do you know how long Iâve just wanted an apology? An acknowledgment of how you were hurting me.â When those words left your mouth, Marc brows knit together, causing that crease between them to appear, he looked positively gutted. Of course he was hurting you, there didnât need to be some weirdo in the middle of the night or some enemy of his to cause you painâhe was already doing that.
âI knowâŚand I should have said it a long time ago. I should have because you deserved that muchâŚthatâs why I came out to find youâŚwhy I got the flowers. IâYou deserved better. I understand why you left and Iâm sorry it had to end like that.â He did everything he could not to look at you, he thought if he did his heart would hurt more than it already did. âYou deserve far better than someone that doesnât realize what he has until itâs gone.â
Your hand reached up, gently cupping his rain slick cheek, the both of you thoroughly soaked by now, but not wanting to leave the other despite the rain. When Marc felt the warmth of your hand on his cheek he couldnât help but lean into it, damn he missed this.
âOh, MarcâŚdamn it. I never wanted to leave. I wanted you to work with me. It broke my heart to leave, but I didnât see any other way. You didnât seem like you wanted this to workâŚwanted us to work.â Your other hand came up to move his hair from where it stuck to his skin like he had yours. This really hit Marc hard. He wanted to be with you, couldnât imagine life without you. Well he got a glimpse of it tonight and the horrid taste it left in his mouth was something he wished to never taste again, but that wasnât up to him.
He took a deep breath, a calloused hand coming to hold yours against his cheek.
âCome inside, Marc.â
âIâI shouldnât.â
âI wasnât asking. You say you donât want a second chance, that you donât deserve one, but if anyone deserves a second chance itâs Marc Spector.â
His eyes snapped up to find yours, slightly widened at this news. âBabyâŚâ
âMarc, I love you. And I want you in my life, but if this is going to work, if weâre going to be togetherâŚsome things have got to get better. All Iâve done since I left was think about you. SoâŚpromise me, if we do this, that things will get better.â You stepped closer to him, your body pressing against his as his other hand comes to rest on your waist.
âI swear. Baby, I swear. Iâll text you, call you, send postcards, anything you want. Iâll make it up to you, all the times I fucked up.â He pulled you closer, arm wrapping around you.
âMarc, letâs take this a step at a time. Okay? A new start. How does that sound?â
âLike heaven on Earth. Like Iâve been reborn.â
You couldnât help but giggle at his flowery statements. Marc could be goofy when he wanted to, you felt like he was only able to relax when you were around and you didnât mind that. It meant that you made him comfortable, that he felt like he could let down some of his walls and let you in.
Hearing your laugh made his heart lighter, a smile spreading across his lips. Marc was in awe of you, of your features, your laugh and voice, and your saint-like patience. He found himself leaning in, eyes drifting down to your lips, yours doing the same. You couldnât help it, not with how close he was and how his hand held you against him.
âMarc,â you breathed out before his kiss took your breath away. He pressed his lips to yours like it had been a lifetime since heâd kissed you. The rain didnât seem so cold anymore as you both embraced.
taglist: @saberlight1 @roseqzpdâ @rosecentaur1916â @ahookedheroespureheart @sleepyamaya @parkeepingparker @lockleysgrl @marc-spectorr @vermillionsails @harrys-tittie @n0ripeaches @missdictatorme @bitchyglitterfox @spacecowboyhotch @randomchick546 @teacupcollector @local-mr-frog @stevenknightmarc @ahookedheroespureheart @mccn-bcys @juneknight
fanfic writers NEVER contemplate or apologise for your fic being over 3-5k words long, we readers LOVE longer fics!! anyways have a good day/night đââď¸
when i want fluff/angst fics and all iâm getting is smut
the struggle is real
masterlist
pairing: frank castle x f!reader
summary: based on the prompt: 'sit on my lap and let's smoke a joint'
warnings: alcohol, weed (rolling a joint, smoking, shotgunning), frank being a cute little whore, heavy petting/teasing but no sex, high epiphanies (mostly fluff!)
a/n: happy late birthday to the ever lovely @chelseasdagger , this one is for you babeyyyyy đ
Home is a solace on your lips as you step inside, your keys joining the others in the bowl by the front door. Despite the events of your day, still fresh in your mind, you feel the knotted tension in your body begin to dissipate, the pressure easing in your temples. The few lights that have been left on are dimmed, filling the house with the kind of ambient coziness youâve been longing for all day.Â
You round the corner, and there he is on the couch: feet kicked up on the coffee table, immersed in a hardcover book you swore heâd never touch. A pang of emotion stirs in your stomach â a cross between yearning and consolation; something you just canât place, but are grateful for nevertheless.Â
âHi, Frankie,â you smile, drawing the curtains open, letting the cool night air filter into the living room.Â
He lifts an eyebrow, glancing up at you from behind the book. âHey, sweetheart. Long day?â
You stretch your arms over your head, nevermind that his voice stirs something in you, and set your bag up on the kitchen counter. âMmhm. Glad to be home.â
Frank leans forwards, fingers closing around the drink heâs left on the coffee table. His eyes flick to yours as he takes a sip, caring not to break contact, before jerking his chin at the bottle of scotch next to your bag. âYou want some of that?â
He points at you, clicking his tongue as you move to pick the bottle up. âDonât move. Stay right there.â Setting his book aside, the pages splayed face-down onto the table, he makes his way over, utterly impervious to your flurried attempts in getting him to remain where he is.
âDâya really think Iâd let you pour your own drink?â Frank says, looking affronted, but a furtive smile spreads along his face as you shake your head.
âCâmon, sweetheart. Let me take care of âya,â he adds, delicately.
Carting you gently to the side, he digs around in the freezer, reaching for a couple of ice cubes that clink mellifluously in the glass. You watch intently as they bob in line with the whiskey streaming in, and then as he inspects the amber liquid closely, as if to examine its quality.Â
When heâs satisfied, he turns to you, and raises the rim of the glass to your mouth. âHere,â Frank murmurs, condensation collecting around his fingertips. âDrink up.â
You shudder as the whiskey cascades hotly through your veins â each note of pepper, caramel and nutmeg lingering on the surface of your tongue like molten honey. You swallow another mouthful before pushing the glass away, not taking your eyes off of him for a second as he sets it down.
Frank runs his tongue over his teeth, raking his eyes across your face. He focuses on a stray drop of whiskey at the corner of your mouth, using a knuckle to brush it away. Your heart thunders at his calloused touch; as he pauses to swipe his broad thumb over your bottom lip. Thereâs a faint throbbing within you â a wild drumbeat steering you towards nothing but desire â so you flick your tongue out, circling his fingertip, relishing in his taste of salt, earth and whiskey.  Â
He lets out a soft groan, mumbling something that sounds like your name; maybe even a plea to slow down. Youâre attentive, knowing he doesnât want this night over yet, that he wants to wait before taking you to bed.Â
Itâs a good thing then, that you have something planned.Â
You inch forwards, swallowing as Frankâs hand sweeps over the contours of your face, coming to rest at a spot near your ear. He tips your chin upwards, letting his ragged breathing fan over you. He stalls, allowing his dark eyes to bore into yours, and for a moment you forget where you are, the stressors of the day long gone.
All you know is him.Â
His beard prickles your skin as he captures your mouth with his own, but you lean into the kiss, savouring his ardent warmth. He moves with you, deepening the kiss as you slide a hand into his hair, curling your fingers at the nape. Your thighs squeeze together as he pivots you around, pushing you against the counter while his tongue melts against yours. Using his leg to knock your knees apart, you arch into his touch, gasping as the bulge in his jeans settles where you need him the most.Â
You wonât be able to stop if you donât pull away now.
âFrank,â you whisper. âFrank.â
He looks at you, placing a small kiss to your jaw. âMm?âÂ
âBefore⌠uh,â you start, lightheaded and fuzzy, unable to comprehend anything but the heady weight of the whiskey and the ache between your legs. âI've got something for us. A little surprise. And I think,â you indicate, wagging a finger from him to you, âwe should save this for later.â
He arches his eyebrows, smiling inquisitively. âYeah? And whatâs that?âÂ
You step aside to rummage through your bag, taking only a few seconds for you to find what it is youâre looking for. You hold up a clear plastic container, giving it a little shake in front of Frankâs face. His eyes widen in comprehension.
âGod, I love you.âÂ
âHey,â you smirk, ânot God. Just me.âÂ
He chokes on his own laughter, draining the last of your whiskey. âYou got it, sweet girl.â
You bite down on your growing smile. âAnyway, I was thinking the plan could go something like⌠get a little high, have some fun. You know what I mean, right?â
âSâthat right?â
âWe both deserve it.â
âYou need some help with that?â he asks, pointing at the rolling papers youâve set down on the counter.Â
âNope. Walk away.âÂ
Youâre an image of rapt focus with your tongue between your teeth, cautiously grinding the weed before packing it into the rolling paper. You slip a filter on one end of the joint, and using your thumb and forefingers, you roll it into place. Bringing the free edge of rolling paper up to your mouth, you skirt your tongue along the narrow strip of glue, quickly moving to seal the joint.Â
You shoot Frank a resolute look of determination. âNot bad, huh?âÂ
He folds his arms over his chest, leaning back into the couch. Almost hidden in the tangle of his beard, the corners of his mouth tick upwards. You canât quite tell if heâs astonished, impressed, or a mixture of everything in between, but the expression on his face is a priceless ego boost. âAttagirl.â
âMmhm,â you reply drily, admiring your handiwork from up close.
âBaby?â Frank calls, breaking your tethered focus. A glimmer of a smile in your periphery catches your eye.
âYeah?âÂ
Thereâs a sound of rustling fabric as Frank spreads his legs, motioning you over to him by patting his thigh. âCâmere.â
Your gaze softens at his request. âThat sounds good, Frankie. Let me grab my lighter.â
âGot it right here,â Frank chuckles, holding it up and thumbing it open.
Twirling the joint in your fingers, you meander over to his spot on the couch, watching the tiny orange flame dance in his eyes as he holds down the lighter button.Â
Heâs a solid comfort under you as you sit down on his lap, shuffling back until the side of your body is angled to his chest, using the armrest as additional support. His scent is a blissful, pacifying force â distilling in you where it matters.Â
Frank wrests the joint from your grip, assiduous in the way he places it between your lips, then as he lights it for you. The lit end glows as the papered edges begin to burn, flickering in its reflection in the window ahead. You take a drag, letting the smoke fill your mouth before inhaling it into your lungs. Maybe itâs in your head, but your body feels lighter already; even more so as you exhale.Â
The grey-tinged smoke remains opaque for only a second, vanishing into the air as soon as you pass the joint to Frank. You breathe out again, more deeply this time, allowing the grassy, herbal scent of the weed wash over you in waves of tranquil calm.
You cock your head to the side, studying the normally terse man before you leisurely smoking the joint, taking two drags instead of one. Gratitude forms a lump in your throat â nights like these are rare, and to see him so carefree, his mind unoccupied by the workings of the larger world, is a luxury youâll never get tired of.Â
After tapping the gathering ashes into his empty whiskey glass, Frank hands the joint back to you, closing his eyes while he waits for your next pass. As the weed-induced euphoria starts to take effect, you wrench one of Frankâs hands from its spot on your thigh, interlacing your fingers together. You take your time in mapping his knuckles, tracing over every crease, scar and perfect imperfection.Â
You tap on Frankâs shoulder, wanting him as a credible witness for a successful smoke ring, but like all your past attempts, it morphs back into a cloud, hanging there in contempt.Â
He laughs softly, putting you right to shame with a series of flawless rings that fall forwards in an arc towards the coffee table.Â
You giggle, jabbing him in the chest with an expertly-placed elbow. âDonât get too cocky now, Castle.â
His mouth quirks to the side. âYeah? What are you gonna do, hm?â
âIâllâŚâ you search around the room for something to say. âIâll withhold sex!âÂ
He gasps, feigning an expression of outrageous offense. âThatâs cruel, darlinâ.â
Laughing, you reassure him you wouldnât, really, but he takes the opportunity to soar through the cracks of your defense, hauling you backwards until his face is flush with the shell of your ear. âReally think you could resist it? Not havin' sex?âÂ
The retorts crumble away as he tells you to âopen up, sweetheartâ, lifting the joint back to his lips. He breathes in deeply, turning his head to then exhale the smoke into your parted mouth. Your eyes roll back as he seals it with a kiss, and it catches you a little by surprise, but you run with it, inhaling as much as you can.
Not quite ready to let go of your earlier comments, Frank does it again, shotgunning into your mouth until you're left with nothing but a dreamy expression and no thoughts left in your mind.
You let out a contented sigh as the weed goes to your head, absentmindedly rubbing the spot where his beard scratched your lip.Â
Eyes drooping, Frank wraps his arms tightly around you, holding you as close as he can, trailing kisses along your shoulder blades, down your arm, whispering sweet nothings and notes of âI love youâ until you slacken in his grip. You touch your lips to his forehead, now resting in the crook of your neck, his steady breathing keeping you anchored to your reality.
The next hour passes by in a haze â youâre mildly aware that there was another joint rolled in that time, courtesy of Frank, probably, but your memory retains the best parts: the giddy, high epiphanies, the smoke-filled kisses, the long-drawn-out touches⌠the fact that his skin has never felt so soft.
Exceptionally and utterly stoned, you move, draping your legs over his lap, clinging onto his neck so you can bury your face in his shirt â so spaced out that you barely register him talking.Â
â...Who the fuck is âDrakeâ anyway?âÂ
âWhat?!â you sputter, snickering as if itâs the funniest thing youâve ever heard. âHeâs a rapper, Frankie.âÂ
âHeâs off limits, so donât even tryâ â you stumble over your words â âenacting your justice or⌠whatever.â
Frank frowns at you, pressing his lips into a thin line.Â
And then he bursts into laughter. Unequivocal, heaving sobs of hysterical laughter. And it might be the sweetest thing youâve ever heard.Â
âEnacting my justice? That what you think it is?â he howls, bringing his fist down onto the couch. âYou really think Iâve got nothinâ better to do than hunt down rappers?!â
âA little bit,â you sniffle, wiping away the tears of joy streaming down your face. âYou know whoâd love this conversation?âÂ
He shakes his head as you continue. âMicro.â
âMicro,â he nods, affirming your point. âBet heâd know more about âDrakeâ than me.â
You chortle at his aggressive hand gestures. âYou donât need air-quotations every time you say Drake, you know.â
He waves a hand in the air. âAhh, I know.â
âFrank Castle,â you say, kissing his cheek once, then twice, âI think this is the wisest youâve ever been.â
âOh, câmon. Really?â
You gesture at the stub of your second joint, floating in the bottom of his whiskey glass. âYep. You might have to do this more.â
âYouâre gonna be the death of me, sweetheart.â
âBetter me than whatâs out there. Right, Frank?â you croon, batting your eyes at him.
âSâright, darlinâ. Thatâs right.â
tags {x} @darlingshane @castlesnchurches @reborn-rekall @marvelswh0re @itwasthereaminuteago @simple-lovebot @chvoswxtch @pedrito-friskito @chellestrash @theradioactivespidergwen @twilightbarnes @splendiferous-bitch @bl4ckpr1ncess @kaybeeboop @kdogreads @swearwolf13 @rqgnarok @qu1etwolf @honeyedheartss @runa-falls @whistle1whistle @awkwardalie
why is no one talking about the âI smell butterscotch đ¤¨đ i wanted ashwagandha đâ and âitâs heliotrope. đ itâs NOT purple.â lottie matthews