Latest Posts by sakura-kissyy - Page 7

the dinners are never as varied when it’s kyoya’s day off but he does his best! he’s getting better at shopping for ingredients at the supermarket too 🥕

me sitting by you, sitting without seeing me 

summary: when tamaki gets to japan, this is his first mistake: greeting his father. prompt: music recs, any human friend (album), for @selkiecoded pairings: tamaki suoh/kyoya ootori words: 1877 warnings: homophobia, mentions of canon-typical abuse and racism notes: a mix of manga and anime canon is used! i mostly used inspiration from the song "i'm not where you are" off of this album. ty for the rec i really enjoyed it!!

When Tamaki gets to Japan, this is his first mistake: greeting his father. 

It’s a stupid mistake. He knows it’s a stupid mistake. He knows better than to say what he did. He didn’t use the correct level of formality when he spoke to his father in Japanese, and it got him first a slightly disapproving frown from his father and then, from his grandmother, a scoff and a dismissal. She waves her hand at him and says, “You’ll know better than to address me, at least, so informally, I expect.” 

The shame colors his cheeks, heats up his insides, sending him spiraling back to France. He’s been in Japan and with his family for five minutes and already fucked up. He takes a deep breath and says, “Yes, Grandmother. It’s good to see you,” as formally as he remembers how, and then bows. 

She scoffs again, and then turns around and walks away. This is the first of many times that he will disappoint her. Or, this is just the latest of times in the string of times he’s disappointed her just by virtue of being born. Which wasn’t his fault, but it’s hard to feel like it isn’t his problem. 

Tamaki is led to his room in the second Suoh mansion, where he unpacks his few things, sets his photo of his mother on a shelf, and then lies down in the bed and stares up at the ceiling. He doesn’t hate Japan. He doesn’t. It’s just that he doesn’t fit. 

This is not the last time he will feel like this. The next time is when he goes to dinner, and he greets the maid on his way to the dining room in search of the meal. He just says hello, and he bows, because he’s pretty sure that’s what you’re supposed to do when you meet people for the first time, and she stutters something that sounds like “Oh, oh, oh, oh,” and then she stumbles around a corner and turns away. 

It’s a little strange, but maybe she was just nervous meeting someone new, and so he doesn’t think much of it until he greets the cook who serves him and he does the same thing. It’s not until he talks to the head of the servants that he’s finally told that that’s just not how things work around here. The servants are not his friends. They are to be treated with respect, but they aren’t there to talk to him or spend time around him. 

Oh, is all that he can think. He doesn’t know how he feels about that. On one hand, he knows that that’s the nature of their job and of his position. On the other hand, he believes every human being deserves a hello and a good morning and a note of respect in his voice. 

But he’ll go with this for now. He’s desperate to be what he’s expected to be. He’s been set adrift in Japan and he’s clinging to every lifeline he can grasp at; he’s clinging tight to the things he knows to be true and the things he’s told he’s wrong about. The problem is just that it seems that he’s wrong about everything. 

As he comes to understand the world and culture and language and customs a little better, it becomes quickly apparent that his father hasn’t told the truth about everything. In all their conversations about Japan, there are so many things he hadn’t mentioned and even more things that he said that are outright untrue. The fact that his father lied to him about so many things doesn’t sit well in his stomach. But he’s also not brave enough to confront him about it, to ask why he would do that to him, to wonder aloud if he meant so little as to lie about his own heritage, and so he just lives with his new and corrected knowledge.

It’s Kyoya, really, who tells him the truth. Kyoya, who never fails to tell him when he’s wrong. Kyoya, who doesn’t hold back anymore. Kyoya, who reminds him to sleep before dreaming but then builds his dreams anyways.

But even with Kyoya, there’s a disconnect that bothers Tamaki. There’s a kind of broken piece between them: if they were each one half of a puzzle, there would be a single piece in the middle that had fallen by the wayside, never to be found again. There’s a kind of crack in the floor they stand on that represents a canyon that he cannot cross, but that he must leap over before he fully understands what it means to live in Japan, to be Japanese, to be half, to be everything that he is and wants to be and is supposed to be. 

“I could be a preschool teacher,” he tells Kyoya once. 

“As if your father would let that happen,” Kyoya replied. 

He’s right, he’s always right, but it’s still a wake up call that Tamaki didn’t really want. He knows that there are things expected of him. He knows that who he is now is not enough for anyone—for his family. 

He knows that who he will be is a shape molded years upon years ago, when it became clear he was the only heir and the weight of the Suoh family was put on his shoulders. Or, when it became clear he was the only heir and the weight of being good enough to call himself Suoh was made into a quest, an obstacle, a fight to the death. 

It’s strange. He loves who he is. He wants to love who he will be. He doesn’t know how. 

He also doesn’t know how to get there—to the future. He doesn’t know how to become what he needs to be. There are too many things in his childlike wonder that Tamaki doesn’t want to let go of. Love is a tool, a weapon, a shield, and he wields it strong and careful with both hands. 

Love is also unwelcome. This is something he learns early on in his life in Japan. 

This is something he learns when his grandmother calls him a disgraceful bastard. This is something he learns when a girl at school gives him a strange look and then calls him a halfer; just a brief, throwaway comment to her, but to Tamaki it is a prick of a needle popping his heart. This is also something he learns later, when he kisses Kyoya, and he gets caught. 

They are seventeen. They are sitting in Music Room 3, and everyone is supposed to be gone for the day. They were supposed to be alone for hours, talking about the club and life and the future and all of the things that they speak about when no one else is there to listen. 

But Haruhi forgot her phone—she’s ridiculously lax about the care and upkeep of the thing, mostly because she didn’t want it in the first place—and she had come back for it. She had hesitated at the door when she saw how close they were sitting to each other. Maybe she was curious. Maybe something in her gut just told her to stop, to stand at a crack in the door that neither had noticed, and wait. 

Either way, she stands there and watches as Tamaki puts his hand to Kyoya’s cheek and presses a tender kiss to his lips and then pulls away with a smile. Kyoya has that light pink color at his cheeks that he gets when they kiss, something Tamaki has teased him to no end about, and he looks so eiderdown-soft and rose-red-in-love that Tamaki kisses him again. 

They were supposed to be alone. 

And here’s the thing: they know that none of their close friends would care if they were together. Most of them probably have some kind of inkling that they’re together already, and none of them have ever once made a comment about it. 

They’ve been dating for almost a year now, and while they’re not blatantly obvious or advertising their relationship status, it’s also clear in the way they look at each other. Tamaki has always been expressive in everything he does, and loving Kyoya is no different. He doesn’t say it out loud to anyone else, but if you look closely at his searching eyes, you’ll notice that they always come back to Kyoya eventually. 

Still, it’s not something that they’re allowed to have. This—in love—is not who they are supposed to be. This—together—is not who they are expected to be. There is something evil in Tamaki that wants Kyoya and doesn’t care what his father thinks. There is something disgusting in Tamaki that craves Kyoya’s touch and doesn’t give a shit that his grandmother might disown him for real this time. There is something horrible and terrible and brave in Tamaki that chooses to love Kyoya in spite of the world. 

But there is also something scared in him that is not ready for the rest of the world to see it. There is something in him that does not want Haruhi to understand this part of them. There is something in him that doesn’t want to share. 

Because, really, at the end of the day, here is what it comes down to: there is the world and the universe and everyone in it, and then there is Tamaki. There is Tamaki, on the other side of the glass, reading DO NOT TAP GLASS backwards. There is Tamaki, distant and drifting and untethered from the rest of the world. From Haruhi and the hosts and even, sometimes, from Kyoya. 

There is something in him that is still a fourteen year old child messing up the grammar of his second language and reeling from his grandmother’s hatred. There is something in him that is still a fifteen year old boy falling in love and terrified of the consequences for having a feeling. There is something in him that is still a sixteen year old watching his best friend, slapped by his father because of a dream they shared. 

There is the world and its intricacies, and then there is Tamaki and his eccentricities. There is the world and its beauty, and then there is Tamaki and his monstrosity. As the earth spins forward, advancing around the sun, instead of being carried along with it, he’s left behind in the riptide: losing his family, losing his first love, losing his mind, losing his heart. 

“Haruhi,” Kyoya says, staring at her. 

“Hi,” she says. 

“Please—” Tamaki starts, then cuts himself off. 

Haruhi just nods. Maybe she understands. Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe Tamaki’s side of Tamaki vs. The World is expanding. Maybe it’s not. Maybe she just doesn’t know what else there is to say. Maybe she’s just letting this slip through her fingers without making a big deal out of it, in the same way as she lets go of so many things. 

But maybe it doesn’t matter either way, if she cares or doesn’t care. Maybe it doesn’t matter if the fight is him against the world or him and Kyoya and his friends against the world. Maybe what matters is that there’s a fight in the first place, and that he is losing it. 

Kyotama but it's miraculous

Tamaki is chat noir and Kyoya is ladybug

Chat noir(Tamaki) : why hello beautiful

Ladybug(Kyoya) : for the love of God please stop saying that I will actually kill you

Chat noir(Tamaki) : what :D

Hear me out fam: iwaoi is the same as kyotama.

That's all. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

⋆ Taken Care Of ⋆

KYOYA X TAMAKI

Sickfic, you know the drill. Kyoya wakes up feeling on the verge of death (he has a minor illness), Tamaki insists on taking care of him. Set in the future when they’re both adults with jobs, no specific age, marital status or job clarification so go crazy with your headcanons I guess.

WARNINGS: The illness is unspecified but similar to the flu I guess, if you require specifics. I don’t think an emeto warning is necessary, there’s no vomit but possible slight reference to it?? Pretty easy to miss if that kind of thing doesn’t bother you, but I thought I should still mention it just in case. Pretty vague about sickness overall to be honest.

WORD COUNT: 1340

WILL BE POSTED ON Ao3 AND WATTPAD AT A LATER DATE AND EDITED AT THAT TIME WITH LINKS. THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!

Kyoya felt awful.

From the second he awoke he was hit with a searing pain in his forehead, which, as he discovered when bringing up a hand to grasp it in a futile attempt to calm the aching, was drenched with sweat. He nestled down into his blankets for a second, allowing himself a moment's relief before he got up to face the day. As terrible as he felt, and as much as he detested waking up this early, he simply couldn't be late for work. The very thought of leaving his bed was daunting — he was already far from being an early riser, but the condition he was in wasn't helping with that in the slightest. Still, he mused with a soft groan, if he didn't get up now he wasn't sure he ever would.

Reluctantly, Kyoya swung his legs out of bed and stood up — only to immediately stumble back onto the bed, vision blurred and stomach lurching. This movement seemed to wake up Tamaki, who stirred beside him with a confused "mrph?"

"Go back to sleep, Tamaki, you don't have to be up yet," Kyoya attempted to assure him, surprised at the raspy voice in which his words were spoken. He didn’t understand. He'd been fine last night, if a little more drowsy than usual, but now the very act of speaking felt akin to swallowing sandpaper.

Tamaki, ever-compassionate and caring for his partner's wellbeing, very annoyingly ignored him. "Kyo, are you okay?" He sat up, rubbing his eyes before looking worriedly at his partner. "You don't sound too well."

"I'll be fine," Kyoya insisted weakly. He tried once more to stand up, but every fibre of his body seemed intent on pulling him back down. "Just ... give me a second."

"You look terrible," Tamaki continued, lifting a hand to press against Kyoya's face. Kyoya couldn’t resist leaning in to the touch. "You feel terrible. You're boiling!"

"It's fine. I don't even feel too warm," Kyoya said, thinking it best to leave out the perhaps more concerning detail that he was, in fact, shivering.

Tamaki removed his hand to instead wrap his arms around Kyoya’s waist, gently yet firmly tugging him further into the bed. "Please come back to bed, mon amour. You can't go to work in this state!"

Kyoya considered it. It wouldn't be right to infect anyone else, he supposed — and he really did just want to crawl back into bed for all eternity (or, until he felt a little bit better at the very least).

"Maybe I should," he finally admitted with a sigh. He climbed back under the covers, practically melting into the comfort of his still-warm pillow as the mattress — Kyoya still had no idea as to how Tamaki had acquired one quite so soft — caressed his aching limbs.

"Good, because I'm not letting you leave this house — no, this bed — until you're better."

"Is that so?" Kyoya responded dryly. He rolled his tired eyes at Tamaki's dramatic declaration, before allowing them to flutter shut once more.

He'd surprised himself, giving in so easily like that. He ought to go back on his decision and find a way to get his work done regardless. He'd worked through illnesses before; it was just what he'd been raised to do, he supposed. But things had been different since Tamaki entered his life — Tamaki would practically force Kyoya to take breaks ever since they were younger, even when he wasn't ill. He didn't quite understand that, and wrote it off as some overprotective nature Tamaki had developed from his own upbringing while caring for his sick mother — but it did help him. Kyoya would feel better after spending time with Tamaki even when he hadn't realised he’d previously been feeling badly at all. On a similar note, Tamaki had filled a gap in Kyoya's life he hadn't known had been there to begin with, so he supposed that was just the effect Tamaki had. Now, he vaguely felt the man in question press a soft kiss to his forehead, the rest of his surroundings an incomprehensible haze as he drifted (quite without meaning to) into slumber.

Kyoya hadn't the slightest idea of how long he'd been asleep, but when he awoke he felt the most well-rested he'd been for perhaps as long as he could remember.

The door creaked open, startling Kyoya. Shouldn't Tamaki be at work by now? What time was it, even?

"I’m sorry, I didn't mean to wake you!" Tamaki whisper-yelled, as though the act of lowering his voice would magically send Kyoya right back to sleep.

"It's fine, I was already —" Kyoya began, then, remembering why he's been so startled in the first place, deflected with, "forget that. What are you doing here?"

"Hm? I live here, silly." Tamaki walked further into the room, revealing to Kyoya a tray he was balancing in his hands. Kyoya was now propped up onto his elbows, looking inquisitively at his partner.

"You're meant to be at work." Shit. Work. He'd completely forgotten in his exhaustion to inform them of his absence.

"I already told them I'm not coming in today," said Tamaki. He must have noticed Kyoya's panicked expression, because he added, "I did the same for you too."

Kyoya frowned. Tamaki seemed fine, particularly given the lack of the dramatics that usually accompanied any illness Tamaki subtracted. "You're not sick as well, are you?"

"No! I just want to take care of you."

That was what Kyoya had feared. "I can take care of myself," he told him with an exasperated sigh. "There's no reason for us both to miss work. I didn't even want to in the first place."

Tamaki let out a fond laugh. "You don't have to be so independent, mon cheri. I'm sure you can take care of yourself, but I want to be here to help. It won't hurt to let yourself be taken care of for once!" He sat beside Kyoya; gingerly, so as not to send the contents of the tray flying. "Now, are you hungry? I thought it best not to bring anything else unless you wanted it, I know how funny you get with food when you're unwell, but I'll make you anything you want. Drinks included — but have some water first, okay?"

As Tamaki continued his ramblings, Kyoya looked properly at the tray for the first time. It was one of the nicer ones they owned; lilac and white china, emblazoned with a beautiful rose pattern. It may well have been Kyoya's favourite, if he were to choose one. Set upon it was a jug of water beside a tall, ice-filled glass, as well as a miniature vase which proudly displayed a singular violet rose. Kyoya smiled despite himself. Trust Tamaki to go all out, even for something so simple as preparing a glass of water.

"You'll have to go back to work tomorrow," Kyoya said, pouring himself some water as instructed. It wasn't as though either of them desperately needed to be in work — they quite obviously had more than enough money to get by — it was the principle of missing work that unnerved Kyoya so.

"It's almost like you don't want me here," Tamaki chuckled.

Kyoya raised an eyebrow, not indulging Tamaki's joke, though he couldn’t help but to inwardly remark on just how untrue it was. "I just don't want you skipping work for no good reason.”

"You're a good reason," Tamaki said, his voice earnest as he handed Kyoya the now-full glass. "I want to be here for you whenever you need me."

Kyoya didn't know how to respond to that (Tamaki could find a way to make anything a grand declaration of love, and though Kyoya loved the fool right back all the more for it, those moments never failed to catch him off guard), so he took the glass in one hand, and Tamaki's free hand in the other.

Tamaki was most certainly going to be in work tomorrow, even if Kyoya had to drag him there himself. But for now he was too tired to argue, so he decided, for once, to let himself be taken care of.

Tamaki: I like your new shirt!

Kyouya: Thanks, it was 50% off.

Tamaki: I’d like it better if it was 100% off. *winks*

Kyouya: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Tamaki: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Kyouya: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Tamaki.

Well, I believe this happened to this boy. Just saying...

Can you guess who his crushes are?

I spent too much time on this, I'm sorry.

im pretty sure its a running joke in the kyokao fandom that they actively make each other worse which i think is absolutely hilarious (because like, yeah annoying capitalist x annoying capitalist) but what are some of the ways you think they improve each other? :D /gen

Great question!

I think Kyoya makes Kaoru more ambitious. Kaoru is smart enough to skirt by most of the time without much effort or forethought. I would not hesistate to believe that he and Hikaru are only doing like half their subjects and then taking tests for each other. I also think Kaoru is immature and nebulous about the future and what he wants from it.

Someone like Kyoya, who is very goal oriented and future focused would be somewhat of a motivating factor. Hikaru and Kaoru's decision to go to Tokyo University is more triggered by Haruhi and Nanako than Kyoya's still pending decision to stay in Boston, but I think Kyoya seeing what he wants and going for it is impressive. I think Kaoru would take his work more seriously, maybe take more of an interest in the business side of things if Kyoya made it more fun.

Meanwhile, I think Kaoru would motivate Kyoya to reevaluate what he thinks freedom means. Freedom is Kaoru's family motto and something Kyoya strives for and thinks he has- but has he? I think in the same way Tamaki makes him reevaluate the box his father has put him in, Kaoru would help recontextualise that a bit more. Yes, you don't have to be trapped in the expectations of your birthright, but maybe you don't need to be beholden to anyone's expectations of you- Kyoya himself said it doesn't matter as long as the people he cares about knows who he is, so maybe he should live by that instead.

The host club in general convinces Kyoya to have a bit more fun, but I think even Kaoru's specific situation- overshadowed by his elder brother, possibly disinherited due to reasons unrelated to merit- and the fact that Kaoru would be entirely unbothered by it would allow Kyoya to maybe reevaluate his options and pick ones that allow him that freedom. After all, those who live freely are the winners, right? And Kyoya wants to win.

I think this "Kaoru makes Kyoya a freer spirit" stops slightly short of Kaoru getting him on a motorbike at any point.

Basically, I think they mellow each other out. Kaoru works harder, Kyoya becomes less of a workaholic. Kaoru becomes a little more self-possessed, Kyoya becomes a little bit freer.

I also think, as me and @pilindiel were only discussing earlier, they mesh pretty well with each other's anxieties. They're two people who believe that they can only be love for the mask they put on, and two people who quite easily see through each other's masks. As long as the people you care about know who you are, nothing else matters- is as much about Kaoru as it is about Kyoya. It's an inadvertant, egotistical admission by Kyoya that he does know who Kaoru is and Kaoru does care about him, and vice a versa. Platonically, and bewildering to Kaoru at this point, but important nonetheless. Kyoya proves his point by even saying it and articulating it as a viewpoint that Kaoru would share- because he does know who Kaoru is, and nothing else about it matters.

But yeah, Kyoya believes that it is more important for the people he cares about to know him than it is for them to love him. And Kaoru is kind of into the whole evil scheming ambition thing so that negates that concern. And Kaoru meanwhile is terrified of being made obsolete and being left behind. Which is negated somewhat by Kyoya being the kind of guy with the dedication to stick to his convictions, one of which he has decided is the perpetuity of the host club. And one would be Kaoru too, of course.

Also just tacking on at the end because I'm rambling too much. I think Kyoya would make Kaoru more independent-- something Kaoru already strives for a bit more of, but there's nothing like giving someone a reason not to share a bedroom with their sibling anymore as that final push. And I think Kaoru would encourage Kyoya to be less self-isolating, less of a lone wolf. Mainly because he likes getting into other people's business. Kaoru loves teamwork <- freak.

miraculous doodles from last year

feeding the desperate (kyokao fans)

guys how does haruhi get to school? does she walk, cycle, take the bus or the train?

idk if ohshc is weird im obsessed now omggg

KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE!

pirate hikaaaaa <3

hikaru is like a little doll i love to dress him up

dont mind how this took me like a month to get to!! i apologize （；＿；）!!

me when people diss my faves because they don't get them

ouran doodle and wip dump

this has to be canon

the host club are the kinda guys who peek their heads out from around a door together

i think we all agree that even if tamaki never found out haruhi was a girl he wouldve fallen in love with her and got really confused but they would still be endgame

based purely on episode 1 of the anime

i started rewatching ouran hshc today, then i went to read some tamaki headcanons, then i realised he is, more often than not, represented as a himbo (which, in hindsight, was probably crack, but i love him too much to not say this)

i feel like ep1 goes forgotten (guilty, especially with how problematic it gets later on). when haruhi was bullied by princess ayankoji, tamaki NOT ONLY went INTO the fountain to help her find her wallet (this nepo baby who doesnt know what “commoner” instant coffee is went INTO A FOUNTAIN), he ALSO KNEW it was princess ayankoji without haruhi telling him.

he’s such a genuine person. even if he doesnt understand what lgbtq is. or what poor people are. or what normal-status people are. but everyone gets confused sometimes and his himboness is such a facade.

yall wouldnt barty be the kind to have a jumpscare alarm at like 7am?? like volume max vibrations 100% and the sound is like some high pitched screaming

i'm gonna be charitable to the hosts for once and say this is them affirming haruhi's gender from shiro's transphobic arse

As forgiveness for missing a day here’s a bonus card for the day

I was rewatching ouran host club lol

this is GORGEOUS

☆ all of the christmas / christmas related art i could find w the twins 🎄🎁

kaoru and hikaru 100% went to church and sunday school as kids but both stopped believing in the religion for vastly different reasons

Someone needs to make an English translation of this game

kaoru “thought daughter” hitachiin