Other Cells In The Body: We Do Not Have A Dark Or Embarrassing Past. We Cannot Be Blackmailed.

To continue my dumb ideas about our lovely but idiotic subway boss twins, Ingo and Emmet: In the modern era, they were best known in the population not for their Pokémon skills or roles as the heads of transportation in Nimbasa, but as social media stars.

It started with Elesa showing them videos on Youtube or the Pokémon equivalent which are basic train videos and what not, and Elesa asks them if they want to make a safety video that's cool, because these basic bitches in Kalos can't do it for shit. Emmet and Ingo, looking at the combination of trains, safety, and their patented brand of chaos, agree.

The video is actually super informative on train safety, but it's also incredibly chaotic. Emmet does most of the voice over because his deadpanned tones just set the mood that it's a normal video, and meanwhile the scene described is pure chaos.

"Make sure to secure your bags to your person while on the move." Emmet, over the top says. It pans to Elesa, who has a ton of bags around her from shopping, but, as the train starts, the bags all fly towards the back. Ingo, who just stepped in the car, is instantly KOed by them.

"Make sure to stay behind the yellow lines on the platform until the train comes to a stop." It shows Emmet standing in front of the line as Ingo is directing traffic. Emmet falls on the tracks due to his Archeops crashing into him, but, just as it seems like the train is going to hit him, it's revealed to be Chandelure pretending to be an engine on the tracks.

They even do videos specific to battle train safety. "Please make sure that you are on a certified Battle Boss Subway locomotive when visiting Nimbasa! Only those are certified for Pokémon battles." It then pans to Ingo and Emmet facing off against Nate and Rosa. One of them uses a Cryoganal, which proceeds to use Ice Beam, and, from the outside, we see the entire car freeze. The video then rewinds to before the battle, and Ingo points to a sign on the car that says 'not for battle,' so they move to a car that says 'battle car.' Ice Beam is used again, but this time the car has a protective area for trainers and built-in fail safes keep the car in one piece and moving along.

Emmet also occasionally curses out terrible passengers, and SOMEONE doesn't properly edit them out (*ehem*Elesa*ehem*).

Eventually they branch out into random videos. Using Snapchat apps that guess who's your celebrity look alike (and somehow the twins end up with different people and they're like "we're twins???") or videos that Elesa snuck like when it's the Pokémon bath day, and, while some pokemon are gentle and easy... they have a lot of Pokémon that would disagree with water.

(And when Ingo goes missing, Emmet reaches out over social media. Turns out, the internet is the best detectives, because someone finds a picture of what looks like Ingo in a museum and is like "what the fuck??? When did this get here???" and THAT leads to time travel. The international police took a year to find nothing, but one call to the internet and about three weeks, and Emmet was sent a ton of historical records that just... appeared? And he realizes that he's going to need to hunt down a legendary to fix this).

(In the past, Akari is staring SO HARD at Ingo because oh hell this is the social media train influencer and how the hell is she supposed to explain that she knows who he is but only from that one video where he got bodied by a Mincino while discussing trains - he doesn't even know what a phone is!)

i’m sick af but i had to sorry-

If there is One Clip of the Anime!Subway Masters I can upload here, it's gotta be this one.

I have the ultimate theory about Ink’s AU name. It’s name is Splatoontale, but Splatoon was copyrighted so it had to be blanked out. Boom. Mystery solved. I mean, just look at Ink.

I come bearing 28 shitpost submas prompts

Thank god tumblr implemented the shorter posts or else I would’ve been ashamed of making this post so long

shitpost generator here!

🤌 its about making sure your bestie doesnt get trampled on her daily commute

I wanted to draw them aggressive walking like new yorkers do, ended up drawing them arm in arm, which ended up becoming a mini comic OOPS.

Very cool of the Pokemon Company to condemn anyone who ships these two brothers together

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i have found myself wanting platonic submas reader insert fics . So Bad like i just wanna hang out with The Boys for a day

i want emmet to do his swingy arm walk and then reader copies him and then ingos like "sure why not" and he does it too!! and/or they all keep shouting "ALL ABOOAARRD!!" together for no reason

id kill for a fic thats essentially just oneshots of reader and the twins hanging out where its not really a Story its just a series of events that take place in 1 consistent universe

like!! theres potential for dumb sibling antics here!! exploring what theyd do on casual days outside of work! what theyd do for fun aside from battling and trains! i Wanna be their Friend