Latest Posts by samsung-smart-refrigerator - Page 3

There's a place just down the street where they chop off angel's wings and fry them in oil. You should try some. Oh, the angels? Yeah they're regular people now. Simultaneously their freedom of flight is ripped away from them violently and yet at the same time they are granted freedom from the yoke of divine subservience so it's bitter sweet for them or some gay shit like that. Anyways the wings are really good.

hey folks! as most of us know, Joe Hills recently got married and he just tweeted that they're having some trouble financially due to a dental emergency. Since he's a Hermit and person who does so much in the community (including paying his mods), it would be great to be able to give back to him a bit! so, i'm sharing the link to his tweet and paypal:)

Link to Paypal

(and congrats to both of them on the marriage! wishing them all the best:D)

Danny a Rogue in one of DC city, but not the "I'm gonna kill everyone cause' I HATE LIFE !!!" no, he's "Oops, call the hero I accidentaly made a superweapon that I cannot stop (for the third time this week) !"

The Super Hero doesn't know what to do with him and you cann see Danny cheereing from a stand while the hero is battling the thing in a désolation landscape

"why is Bruce trying to be Nightwing, they should have let Tim or Jason do it" why does ANYONE else have to be Nightwing. Can't Dick have one thing that's just his

Trapped in a book this and sentient marble shenanigans that

Give me sentient 'cursed' sword Danny. Give me a tragedy broken Danny who had to choose whether to allow the observants to use him or trap him or end him and Clockwork give him another option. To hide and grieve and rest.

The Cursed Sword left in the League vaults that slides uselessly through any innocent and if you push? If you keep trying to raise it's blade against an undeserving opponent? Will bite back on it's wielder with frost and reflected fear

Gifted or found, give me Damian carefully cleaning a neglected old blade. Give me Danny waking once more to the gentle grind of a whetstone, a sliver of electric green shining in the space that shouldn't be. A magic blade that has never resonated with anyone that sings in Robin's hand, freezing over those with cruelty in their hearts

(Dealer's choice what reverts Danny back to his humanoid form. True love's kiss? Legitimately wanting to be a person again? A tricky situation where the Bats are stuck and he's left lying useless on the floor, unable to save anyone, this time of his own volition?)

(Bonus for if the first time he's wielded against the Joker Danny just. Mimick style eats him. Blade splits down the center, cavernous maw, swallows whole. Nobody realized that could happen.)

I think my favorite version of Dead on Main is when Danny actually isn't hot. Not like, 'ugly, but literally just the most average looking Some Guy dude while Jason is a solid 11.

Nobody judges Jason exactly, but they are very 'why', especially when Danny just kinda, does his cryptid shit in the weirdest dorkiest way possible. He glitches out both himself and the cameras and his eyes glow with the fangies in front of people and then immediately trips. His extremely cringe one liners based off the opponent of the day (Danny and mr freeze are forcibly separated after they spent a six hour long pun-off). Danny will say the single most out of pocket most traumatic thing you've ever heard in your life that's somehow still really fucking funny and is he joking??? You never know. And he's not even hot or sexy in a dangerous vampire way he acts like bigfoot but he got caught on camera with his bare ass hanging out and a fish in his mouth.

Everyone is So Confused. Even the batfam and the Outlaws who know Jason is also kind of a huge dork himself are very 'that one? really?'. And every time Danny walks in to talk to Jason about killing the scary bug in his room or 'do you wanna go to bat/nasty burger and watch me eat my weight in fries' or 'hey how much blood is a human supposed to be able to consume before it gets weird?' with zero context and Jason always replies 'on god I need to fuck him'.

Very Jessica and Roger Rabbit or Mortisha and Gomez energy with them.

Giving battinson the big birb hug he so desperately needs 🫂

Idea: TMNT x DD crossover

The idea gremlins have struck again.

These notes are fast and dirty.

Based on 90s TMNT live action films.

One night, Splinter stumbles across a boy. A blind, orphaned boy half-trained as a ninja, suffering from painful loses and all of the suffering he can hear.

His immediate reaction is "I must help this boy."

Splinter does not like the sound of this Stick fellow.

Matt gets turtle bros and a rat dad.

Foggy's blind roommate is a little weird but at least he likes pizza.

Eventually Matt and the turtles discover they are weird-chemical brothers.

You know how camp counsellors (this may just be my experience come to think of it) are always from the wildest, most unexpected parts of the planet? I think it's deeply fitting that Dick Grayson was a camp counsellor, because his backstory as formerly being part of a travelling circus then predominantly growing up in the most crime-ridden city in the world would be hilarious as part of an ice breaker activity.

I think there would be a major disconnect between the bats and the rest of the JL/super powered folk due to injuries and pain.

Let me explain.

I saw this post and it made me think of the healing factor/invulnerability of most of the JL. Clark is practically impervious, Diana’s worst injury is a paper cut at her day job, and the Green Lanterns have a passive force field, so on and so forth. But Batman bleeds. The only one who’s got any sort of healing factor is Jason, but it’s nothing compared to the flashes.

I can imagine Batman nursing some sort of injury like a broken rib from a punch he took from some super villain of the week, whereas Diana, who took the same punch, just shook it off. Batman isn’t jealous. He’s not bitter or angry. He just notices it. He knows he’s not as unmovable as them. But no one else sees that.

But I think it would really become an issue with his kids. Seeing all of his kids participate in a superhero team at some point, most of which start those teams or lead them at some point, because he trained them harder than anyone else. Because they’re not invulnerable.

And the turning point would be if one of those kids gets hurt. Like if Dick broke a bone or something and needed to have it reset in the field, Batman telling him “Scream if you need to” and it actually happening would really make the supers around them take notice. The bats aren’t invulnerable. But they’re the most dangerous of the JL.

Idk I just thought it would be interesting. I might write something with the concept because I could go on about it.

Something I noticed is that Bruce isn’t really that sympathetic to his villains unless that are family or have been romantically involved with him

Selina is stolen so much stuff with no regard for who it is half the time but she has gotten a pass over and over

Jason and Talia have murdered a lot of people but they get a pass because Jason is one of Bruce’s kids and Talia is Damian’s mom

But when it comes to everyone else it usually radio silence

But on the other hand you have Batman the animated series where Bruce tries his best and is super understanding and compassionate with everyone, including his rouges

I’m not criticizing any specific character this is just an observation about how Bruce is usually written but there are exceptions, of course

Yet another JL learns about Batfam post

Featuring: everybody loves Nightwing

So, Nightwing isn’t technically a member of the JL, but everyone knows him and adores him. Even Batman seems to tolerate him fine.

They’re on a mission. Let’s say alien invasion. Or killer robots. Something large scale and dramatic.

Everyone’s fighting in the same general vicinity. Nightwing and Batman just happen (read: either very carefully planned, unconscious habit, or a combination of the two) to be fairly close together.

Suddenly, an explosion happens. Everyone is knocked down. Including the aliens/robots. Conveniently, they stop being an issue now, so we can focus on The Reveal.

Anyway, everyone knocked down. They start to get up and look around, checking to see that everyone is fine. And it looks like everyone is well and accounted for, except…

Nightwing!

Where’s Nightwing? They all start to panic (except Batman). Is Nightwing okay? Where did he go? Is he hurt?

And then Nightwing ducks out from under Batman’s cape, with a grin on his face, sunny and cheerful as ever.

“Well it looks like that instinct is fully intact. Explosion? Duck under the cape.”

He laughs at himself and Batman’s face twitches in what his family would read as a smile and most of the JL thinks they’re hallucinating.

“Do you two know each other?” They want to ask. And it’s been long enough that it would probably be awkward to ask. But they’re confused/curious enough that they might ask anyway.

Objectively speaking; I LOVE thinking abt the body types of the Robins and how it would've come to be. Like Dick??? He'd have the BROADEST shoulders and PROB tits to go with them! Ya know?? Cause of his more excessive acrobatics and his fighting style. He'd be the PERFECT example of the triangle; the broad shoulders to the tits to the tiny waist with the ass.

And Jason??? Jason's just ALL muscle but like that type of muscle that really only makes him look BIG and like only looks muscular when he's flexing. And this would be both a good and a bad thing for him. Essentially he gained all his muscle mass and newfound height while with the league/in the Pit so there's that but also, I'm sure he’s the exact type of person Little Jason thought he'd grow to be so that he could protect all those he loved that he was too small, at the time, to protect. I'm sure he also must have some mixed emotions abt the connections one could draw between him and Bruce without him also growing to look so much like him.

And Tim??? He's just all wiry muscle, a sleeper build, if you will. He's def got the shoulders and defined pecs but because of his overall slender build, you wouldn't notice. He's obvi MUCH stronger than he looks and it THROWS everyone off. And his legs??? Women are JEALOUS! He'd look GREAT in heels. ;) I'm sure that he suspected this would how he'd always be; smaller. But it must be so difficult to accept because of everyone around him (the batfam) and I can only imagine that he tries to draw inspiration from his mother who was in his same shoes but inspired respect and fear wherever she went.

But Damian??? I'm hesitant to go one way or another with him but I LOVE the idea of him, in the end, leaning towards his mother's physical features. He has the traits of his father but features of his mother and he'd feel so put out because of this. He's The Blood Son of The Batman and he can't have features leaning on the lean, fast, and slender side. On the other hand, he could be the carbon copy of his father which has its own emotional turmoil within it. And for personal reasons, I hope he does grow to be more like his mother because I think that while in his fathers care, this will indirectly force Damian to actually discover himself and not just accept to be his fathers perfect shadow until he becomes that shadow.

I like to think about young Dick Grayson a lot, and right now I'm specifically thinking about him from the Justice League's perspective.

Like, imagine you're in the Justice League, maybe you've been there for a few months, maybe for a few years, but either way, you know how it works. Superman's terrifyingly powerful, but you get over the fear factor as soon as you see him cry over a sad cat video, and Wonder Woman's still a bit intimidating, but as long as you're good and truthful, you can trust that she won't crush your head like a grape.

And Batman... well, you've made your peace with the fact that you'll never figure him out. You know literally nothing about him, other than the fact that he claims to be fully human, but you're not even really sure about that, because you're pretty sure he just materializes in the shadows sometimes. The only things that you're 100% sure of is that you're terrified of him, and you're so glad that he's not on someone else's side.

And then, suddenly, he has acquired a child. Just like everything else, you don't find out immediately, because god forbid that man tell his team anything. But you start to hear vague reports of another shadow trailing behind Batman in the night. Superman asks him about it one day, but of course, he doesn't respond, and they all wonder, but it never gets brought up again.

But one day, unexpectedly, that shadow is at a league meeting, and he's not as shadowy as you would have thought. In fact, he's wearing the most vibrant costume you've seen, and you spend all of your time with other heroes in spandex. He's also young. Terrifyingly young. It's his twelfth birthday, actually, he explains to the league, and he pestered 'B' until he agreed to take him to a meeting. You all agree later that he looks younger than twelve. And you worry about him, because why is this child in Batman's care? Can he really be trusted to look after someone so small, so young, so seemingly fragile?

Besides, Robin (Robin, his name is Robin, he's a songbird for christ's sake), is everything that you'd think Batman would hate. He talks everyone's ear off with a giant grin stretched across his entire face. He begs Superman to fly him around and cackles and claps as Wonder Woman demonstrates basic sword maneuvers for him. Before long, the whole team is in a better mood. Meanwhile, Batman stands in the shadows, his face impassive, with no explanation about the little masked boy that walked into the room hiding under his cape.

He leaves just as he came, disappearing under Batman's cape as the two exit the watchtower together, and the whole league is left to wonder how the fuck that child ended up in Batman's care, and whether or not they should intervene, because spending prolonged time in Batman's company cannot be healthy for a child.

But then he starts showing up more and more, popping up in some places that you know from Batman's glare he's not supposed to be. He's teamed up with that speedster boy and the two of them cause havoc, but Robin takes the lecture he gets with a grin and gives a half hearted promise to behave.

You steadily start to realize that he might not be as out of place in Batman's company as you originally thought. You realize that the boy is a performer through and through, and that extends to that grin of his that dazzled the team when they first met him. You get the impression that sometimes its genuine, yes, but you'd never know if it wasn't. His exuberance is a persona held in place as meticulously as Batman's grim seriousness.

And though you'd assumed that Batman's sidekick (partner, the boy insisted, rather intensely, though his smile never faltered) would be well trained, this kid could take down league members, you're sure. You quickly realize that he enjoys fighting, and he fights viciously, giggling and putting on a show, but leaving broken bones in his wake. Your first impression is that Robin was more human than the demon they called the Batman, but you quickly start to question that too. If Batman can materialize in shadows, then Robin can fly. He twists through the air like gravity doesn't affect him and lands with so much grace that you'd think he had hollow bones like his namesake. You're not fully convinced he doesn't, considering he climbs up the bat with no warning, clinging onto his back like he belongs there (you quickly start to think he does), or he'll throw himself through the air with no more warning than a quick 'catch' yelled to his partner. And Batman catches him. Batman always catches him. Everyone keeps an eye on him when he's up high, but there's a part of you that feels like it's impossible that he'd ever fall. Or at least, impossible that Batman would ever let him hit the ground.

And you start to think that Robin's exactly where he's supposed to be; perched on Batman's shoulder, hiding in his cape, or fighting by his side. You still hope there's a normal boy behind the mask, going to school and making friends with someone to tuck him in at night, but you also can't imagine anything normal about Robin, and maybe that's why he needs to be by Batman's side, and maybe that's why Batman needs him too.

i have this headcanon that laios winds up helping in the castle's kitchen gardens in his (infrequent) spare time. he does a lot of heavy lifting in the manga and i just don't get think he would enjoy being super idle as a king, ya know? he'd help the actual gardeners by moving stuff around, watering, weeding, small stuff. he'd also be interested in helping choose what's planted and he could specifically choose to plant herbs and veg that his friends like.

actually, i don't think laios would stop at just the kitchen gardens. you know what decorative gardens have a lot of? shrubs. you know what you can do with shrubs? trim them into cool shapes. you know whats a cool shape? monsterrrrsss. my guy would love a garden full of monster shrubs. or even just parterres that have cool monster-relevant designs.

and it's not just laios! early in the manga, marcille talks about using natural dungeons (like the one falin showed her) to plant mana herbs like mandrake without the danger of artificial dungeons. maybe marcille and falin have a greenhouse dedicated to experimental mana plants!

Because I the universe hates Bruce Wayne, every time one of his kids or friends finds something he genuinely doesn't know how to do or is just mediocre at, Bruce tries to get out of it with a "when would I ever need to [tie balloon animals]" and their next case becomes unsolvable without Steph's excellent [ballon-animalling skills] or Bruce literally has no choice but to rapid-fire try to get good at it while his friends/kids shout at him.

Can we acknowledge stomach acid being fucking weird? We have pits of acid in us that sometimes comes out our very delicate throats??? Imagine an alien hits a human in the stomach hard enough to make them sick and thinks they've won, but they get melted by the vomit. And somewhere along the line aliens get convinced that one of a human's defence mechanisms is spitting acid and we have to explain that no, but we have some earth native reptiles that can.

so, i've fallen down the "humans are weird" rabbit hole, and i couldn't help but notice most of it is about how humans are just really durable, adorable, friendly, how we'd pack bond with anything, about how we have such a hive-mind and empathy and determination to survive when things get rough, how we could survive things most other aliens would die from, how we could eat stuff that would poison other aliens, how we inject ink into our skin and pierce it with pieces of metal and drink toxic substances for the sake of entertainment..

it's always human defences and endurance

but i never see people talking about human **aggression**

like, imagine a spaceship happens to have several humans on it even if most residents are alien species, and two of the humans get in a fight.

and i'm not just talking physical, i'm sayin' all kinds of fights.

imagine if two humans got in a serious screaming match and genuinely hurt a few of the alien species sensitive to loud sounds as they watch, flabbergasted at how the two are literally yelling in each-other's faces without breaking a sweat or getting tired from it, while one of the sound-sensitive aliens literally passed out because it was SO loud

or imagine them simply being in shock after interacting with humans for a long time and having this image in their head of humans being so friendly and able to get along with anything and anyone, including stabby, or any predatory, aggressive species we just so happen to find cute. that image getting completely shattered seeing two of the humans they're friends with showing clear anger and aggression in a display they could only describe as "terrifying" in the most visceral sense of the word

or two humans getting in an actual physical fight, and here's where the *several* humans on ship part comes into play,

so the two are duking it out in a violent display of pure hatred while other humans, amused and thoroughly entertained by the violence that would already have put any of the less durable aliens out of commission gather around the fighting pair and start ominously chanting "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT"

prior, the aliens hadn't dared intervene or get any closer because either way they recognized it as a danger

meanwhile some humans JOIN IN for absolutely no reason and it becomes a full on riot

and the aliens just stare like ?????

confused at why they'd find it so endearing, at why they'd literally join for no reason at all, horrified by even just a punch to the gut because to some of the more vulnerable aliens that's their equivalent of literally getting an organ ripped out of them and somehow STILL fighting and then ripping out an organ out of the opponent themselves

and most of all, if humans are capable of befriending aggressive, large predatory beings and getting along with practically everything,

what from the fresh pits of hell triggered two *humans* to fight *each other* of all creatures?

(that is, assuming aliens don't have much knowledge of our history, wars, politics, etc of course.)

So, something I learnt the other day. So, you know how dinosaurs supposedly can't see you if you stand still? Well that myth is based on real-life lizards/etc and how eyes in general work. So, once my dad starts infodumping, here comes some other cool information. We, humans, can in fact, also not see something unless it's moving. We fixed this by having our eyes constantly shake. And then our brain compensates for us, so we don't have to have shaky vision.

What if aliens don't have this? Like. What if they find out when one of us was looking at something in the distance, and they walk around this thing that's in front of them, and the alien is confused so they bob their head and oh, there's a thing there, but how did the human know that, and then we explain and they're like, horrified.

Humans are apex predators. They can hunt in packs. They can hunt in pairs. They can hunt on their own. They're persistance predators, which is unheard of. They get stronger when they're mad or scared. They have this thing called 'body language' which acts like a type of hivemind, even if they'll claim it isn't. And. They can see you. When you're not moving. They can still see you. If you ever find yourself in a fight against a human, for whatever reason? Run. Run as fast as you can. And hope, pray if you have a religion, that they won't follow.

Ummm. Who was going to tell me the in The Batman (2022) Gotham City is in New York state? What happened to Gotham being in New Jersey?

This means that Metropolis isn't across the Delaware bay. No twin cities. No Metropolis in Delaware.

Most of all we miss out on the magic of Bruce struggling to get gas when out as Batman in NJ. (Like the Batmobile is low and he has to stop to get an attendant to pump his gas.) Now that has to be the real reason why this man allowed a nine year old sunshine child to come fight crime with him at night.

Battinson would rely on Dick to do a lot of 'translating' for him. Imagine all of the questions that would be able to be asked at crime scenes with a Robin who could figure out what he wanted to ask by a look or a small hum. Magic right there. 10/10. This version of Batman has so much potential to be serious and awkwardly funny at the same time.

New Coraline design drop

A very important thing to me about the batfam magical girl AU is that the rest of the characters are classic dc comics characters. Which means that while they have many similarities (magical girls are like lantern corps with more glitter and less police anyway, and the magical batfam story can get really dark and tragic at times), they're constantly faced with the clash between comics logic and magical girl anime logic. By which I mean:

______

Bruce, waking up the morning after adopting Dick on impulse and then sleeping the sleep of the dead: Wait, since when do I have a son? Eh, it doesn't matter.

Clark, who was listening into Gotham for whatever reason: The fuck it doesn't?

_____

Lex Luthor: How did you know about my evil evil plan?

Tim: A little bird told me.

Kon: Really, robs?

*cue glittery red robin with a crescent moon on its head landing on Tim's shoulder and speaking in an annoyingly high-pitched voice*

_____

Jason: With the power of love and this gun I found-

Kyle: Can you be serious for one fucking second?

Jason: No actually I am. I was gonna shoot the guy and accidentally left my heart open to channel the energy of the Galaxy and in doing so I saw the man for all that he could be and the magic of the Robin and the Wolf combined to make the gun magic and when the bullet hit him it changed the man on a fundamental level and he realised he wanted to follow his lost dream of selling portraits by the beach instead of trafficking people.

Kyle: what-

Jason: he died a few minutes later though. I did still shoot him in the heart.

_____

After Justice League shenanigans lead to a multiverse portal opening:

Failsafe!Batman: -so I pulled out the shark repellent to fight he jokerized space sharks, and then I fell from the moon-

Magical!Batman: That doesn't make any sense! Shark repellent spray is an absurd thing to have in your utility belt and besides, you don't just fall off from the moon!

Green Arrow : Finally somebody said it.

Magical!Batman: You have to take the magic portal on the other side of the moon!

Green Arrow: ...Spoke too soon.

A concept: your typical ragtag team of misfit supers, but they all follow different realities/logics as their powers.

One of them has standard anime/magical girl abilities, one can utilize cartoon logic to their advantage, one of them has near omniscience thanks to their ability to break the fourth wall, and another one has protagonist luck that ensures they always win.

A very important thing to me about the batfam magical girl AU is that the rest of the characters are classic dc comics characters. Which means that while they have many similarities (magical girls are like lantern corps with more glitter and less police anyway, and the magical batfam story can get really dark and tragic at times), they're constantly faced with the clash between comics logic and magical girl anime logic. By which I mean:

______

Bruce, waking up the morning after adopting Dick on impulse and then sleeping the sleep of the dead: Wait, since when do I have a son? Eh, it doesn't matter.

Clark, who was listening into Gotham for whatever reason: The fuck it doesn't?

_____

Lex Luthor: How did you know about my evil evil plan?

Tim: A little bird told me.

Kon: Really, robs?

*cue glittery red robin with a crescent moon on its head landing on Tim's shoulder and speaking in an annoyingly high-pitched voice*

_____

Jason: With the power of love and this gun I found-

Kyle: Can you be serious for one fucking second?

Jason: No actually I am. I was gonna shoot the guy and accidentally left my heart open to channel the energy of the Galaxy and in doing so I saw the man for all that he could be and the magic of the Robin and the Wolf combined to make the gun magic and when the bullet hit him it changed the man on a fundamental level and he realised he wanted to follow his lost dream of selling portraits by the beach instead of trafficking people.

Kyle: what-

Jason: he died a few minutes later though. I did still shoot him in the heart.

_____

After Justice League shenanigans lead to a multiverse portal opening:

Failsafe!Batman: -so I pulled out the shark repellent to fight he jokerized space sharks, and then I fell from the moon-

Magical!Batman: That doesn't make any sense! Shark repellent spray is an absurd thing to have in your utility belt and besides, you don't just fall off from the moon!

Green Arrow : Finally somebody said it.

Magical!Batman: You have to take the magic portal on the other side of the moon!

Green Arrow: ...Spoke too soon.

dick grayson canonically works the weirdest fucking jobs.

he’s like a teenager who’s pretty desperate to start working and will take *anything* that’s available, just cus. except he’s 28 (?) and definitely doesn’t need to work

as robin he ran a SUMMER CAMP just cus it’s cute. dick just likes to get involved with random ass friend groups of coworkers. he’s like “i guess i’m gonna die someday, i guess i should just give it a shot!”

he’s a list of canonical, and headcannon jobs dick grayson has worked 🩵

Camp Instructer

vigilante (duh)

lifeguard

radio jocky

museum curator

travel guide

gymnastics instructor

gardener

mail man (but like… a hot one)

hair dresser

life coach

fitness instructor

professor

acrobat

managing an antique shop

painting miniature glass birds

working in a retirement home

cop

stripper cop

GLOBE OF DEATH rider (look it up)

retail

i headcannon that most of these jobs he didn’t even get HIRED he just showed up and started helping out and it just turned into a thing. like he just did a couple volunteer things at a local retirement home in blüdhaven, and people just assumed he worked there and gave him a schedule etc, and he just is happy to help.

or if he’s undercover for an extended period of time, and he just decides it would be cool and help his cover if he started doing ‘insert job’. and he just kept doing it past the missions requirements.

just cus he’s part of the team now! and he already told maggie he’d cover her shift at Dons Deli Emporium- even though they never officially hired him. 🤷

Royal Whumpee has always been and always will be one of my favorites. Everyone hates them because why should they get to stay up in the bright palace? They're on the brink of war and yet the Royal is off at parties, laughing with the enemy. Embargos are starving the people and the Royal is having a feast. Most people can't afford to clothe themselves in anything other than rags and the Royal has servants upon servants to dress him in the morning. They wouldn't last a day out here in the real world.

Of course, only their closest servant knows that they haven't slept or eaten in days and if you entered their room, you would find them at their desk, surrounded by crumbled paper and letters, bargaining away their soul just for a few years of peace for their subjects, willing to do anything just to lift the embargo, greeting every request for them to rest or eat with a simple, "do not disturb my circles."

I love my Alfred's smart but oh so dumb 😩 boy can and will spend an afternoon explaining nuclear fission and theoretical physics if you let him but will also try to fish his toast out of the toaster with a metal fork. Beautiful baby girl that can take apart and repair just about any kind of contraption then put it all back together from memory alone and then forget Obama's last name. He's is so incredibly, frighteningly intelligent and a cringe fail dumbass 🩵

Headcanon Bruce color-coded his kids... but the colors make No Sense with the Power of Hindsight

Dick is red ❤️ since that was the main color of the Robin suit, and Bruce started doing the color coding when Dick was Robin

Barbara's not technically his kid, but her Batgirl suit was purple so she's purple 💜. Stephanie straight up refused to be anything except purple, so now purple just means Not Technically Adopted

Jason also got a Robin color, but he got yellow 💛 since once he got settled in, he had a very sunny personality. This does not age well.

Bruce doesn’t actually give Tim his own color, since his integration into the family is sloooow. Since Tim is #1 Dick Grayson Fan TM, he always chose the blue cup when grabbing something to drink, so he accidently became blue 💙

Everyone was thinking Cass should be black. But also, Bruce is black. So they shrugged and grabbed the next darkest cup available, which happened to be dark green. The "dark" part ended up getting dropped, though, as it's just easier to get any shade of green 💚

When Damian showed up, Bruce’s mind was still stuck on "Talia’s Kid", so he's bright pink 💖 before he even realizes the color-coding exists

Duke is orange 🧡 because there are literally no other unique colors left

This leads to the baykids yelling at Bruce, "You can’t adopt that kid! There isn't a free color open!". It unironically has a much greater success rate than any other tactic

I see alot of posts about Tim's missing spleen and the batfams reaction to it but has anyone considered the much funnier options of Bruce, being an invasive psycho dad, doing some scan of his children finding out about his missing spleen and getting it back/replicating a new one. Like

Tim *bored and wanting to get a rise out of bruce*: the only thing I've ever truly lost is my spleen

Bruce *sipping coffee and reading a case*: batcave freezer underneath the popsicles but above the ice packs

Tim: wha-!

Bruce: if you hit the chunk of Jason from the explosion you've gone too far

We don’t see Insane Nightwing enough for my tastes like:

This mf listens to NO ONE if he doesn’t want to and everyone just goes “omg what a great leader always with a better plan.”

Argues with fucking BATMAN of all people and is not a stranger to winning said arguments.

Has been kicking villain ass since 8 years old and can figure out what your great-great-great aunt twice removed was doing on April 16, 1721 and will use it as blackmail for your entire bloodline.

Probably still uses Facebook.

Would 100% wear Velcro Lightning McQueen light-up sketchers and outrun you in them only to do a quadruple backflip at the finish line as his victory dance.

He knows the exact behavior patterns and personalities of his entire team/family/coworkers and can plan their movements/reactions to near perfection in almost any circumstance. Has used this to prank them.

Learned how to cook out of spite to prove to Bruce he could live on his own (after one of the aforementioned fights. Also, after proving he could live on his own, was not immediately alerted to his little brother’s passing because Bruce has a Complex).

“Tim! Tie your shoes when you walk down the stairs you could trip and get hurt!” “You literally just got shot please worry about yourself for once??”

Has trained under Batman’s pacifistic “no killing” policy and then also fucking Deathstroke the Assassin and Mercenary. Neither one was particularly kind to his psyche

Killed the joker but imo was very justified and not insane at all. But also just sort of just… let blockbuster get killed that one time. Has also killed others

The whole vampire series??? I still haven’t read that one yet but everything I’ve heard about it has been against my will

Has had beef with multiple children (special shoutout to Jason Todd)

Somehow made peace with his family after Bruce allowed all of his other children to don the name Robin, which was given to Dick by his Very Dead mother (and of which the meaning how now been diluted and the connection to his parents severed)

Please add on to this if yall think of anymore bc I just know that man has his Moments