Latest Posts by sandersawyer - Page 2

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It’s gotten to the point where I can express myself with poetry in my target language!! I’m proud of myself for that!

Voici la traduction (here is the translation):

The world,

It swallows me like a snake.

The left, the right,

Endless.

I close my eyes.

You’re here.

The world becomes smaller.

Butterflies and Flowers | Hiroko Otake

So …what do I expect from now on. Honestly I think I should not leave the idea of being alone behind. I should not underestimate the power of being alone. I should have my own plans and my own way to success . As corny as it sounds I should do my stuff and leave whatever the world plans to do alone, they’re doing better alone away from me . I’m not mad of being left alone in a horrible city , I had no choice and it was for the better and I was tired and didn’t want to be a Man®️ and ruin someone else’s dreams again. Just let go and let me complain about my own misery and accept my shortcomings as all I have to offer

I’m still waiting for a reply, I hate when people travel they’re so annoying. Would it kill you to just talk about a movie or a show you watched and how that made you realize some deep stuff? - angry Sænger

I think I was meant to feel like this trip was in my control , like if I had any idea of what I was doing but I just get so disassociated from everything. Nothing felt in my control other than my mind and that’s the last place I’d rather be . I hate being the subject of a fantasy I’m not aware of , I hate when people expect me to feel or react a certain way . I hate when I don’t feel the way I expect to feel. It’s just all wrong , and the worst thing is…even going to that beautiful country I still feel terrible and I doubt it changed my life . It was just a reminder , everything is just a reminder

Everything is a reminder , you’re a disappointment, you’re an embarrassment, you’re a watcher , you’re an angel - Sadly still Sænger

So people just post stuff about their trips and justify themselves by using the word of money and its presence in our decisions. Oh yeah I’m in deepshit haha but seriously what do they even do afterwards , do they expect us to react with ‘oh no he’s traveling and I’m not so I will just hate him forever and delete my dreams for all I care’ well that’s what I’d do or what I’ve done , all naturally of course …harvested in the worst of childhoods

Three photos in three different cities …Venezia was wet and not that good, Pisa was nice and Florence was stinky …-Sænger

Sometime in my past I swore that if I ever saw another post from anyone who tried to cover up their obvious show off of a trip I’d end myself but now that I got to experience the evil and gut wrenching feeling of traveling abroad I have to admit it feels nice to post a picture from a place that’s not close to home. I feel disgusted by this feeling somehow , is this really what everyone is bragging about . I’m doomed

Streets say that Milan is the most hated city in Italy but to my surprise I found it delightful and to be completely honest , the pinnacle of bragging- twice officially Sænger

I was recently in Europe…and by that I mean I went to Europe last December. And I wish I could say that in a better and less confusing sense but now I feel different, like if it didn’t matter at all . I know it’s supposed to feel like it was the greatest trip of my life but I just didn’t allow myself to feel so. I know I’m wrong but at least I met new places I guess. I don’t think I’m returning anytime soon

Feels nice to post again. I’ve officially moved on from social media (this place doesn’t feel like it anymore) and getting a low profile life now - officially Sænger

Thinking about ending my life , but I can’t leave my cat alone

A day before my birthday and it was so special, but sadly couldn’t stop the tradition and cried all night long . Beer was so strong omg and that water looked so delicious I wanted to OceanGate myself in there. A fight in the middle of downtown…chef kiss.

I’m so happy I drank all night long having the best life -S

I just had one of the lamest Sundays ever and all I want to do is to go back in time one month ago and enjoy my favorite trip ever . And tbh I had the greatest sea food I have ever eaten in my entire life.

And as a note, we crossed the entire city by bike. My semi beach body suffered but my stomach stood still

- S

#

Mind you this was only the beginning of our trip and it had already blown my mind out, the hostess was so kind and although he was a bit late we had time and we used it wisely .

I didn’t want to leave that place, can I live here for 2 months more? Like that Mitski song -S

I think I have never cried that much with a movie since Everything Everywhere All At Once , I’m so serious Guardians of the Galaxy is an emotional roller coaster and that is the straightest thing I have ever said haha

This weekend was great, I almost forgot how bad I felt a month ago but I’m still fighting with the idea of being alone sometimes -S

So this place is known for its dinosaurs (both political and reptiles) got some good shots of the place before going on my illness spree yesterday. It’s me hi

Weather was hot and so I thought I looked like, I was wrong. I’m the problem it’s me -S

To my nonexistent audience here, recently I’ve been doing fine. I thought this weekend away wasn’t the best idea considering how bad I am with socializing among their kind. Drank good and took care of my man.

No matter what color or tone is it, I would always help you if you wanna throw up - S

Wow , how long has it been? Like 10 years since the last time I roller skated , well everything went just fine and left with the amazing amount of 0 falls. I felt alive again, just didn’t tell mom.

I love how he gives me the chance to appreciate tiny details, walking to the nearest atm made me realize, I want to walk with you everywhere -S

Saturdays have a special meaning to me, they used to feel empty, so dark and hollow I never thought someone would fill it with so much joy and love.

He would tell you he is not perfect or talented, obviously it is not the case. He is that and so much more. Trust the process, your masterpiece awaits -S

Weekend was just awesome, and I sort of made peace with myself. I found out I could be strong but it still in process. Oh my, how come someone so perfect entered my life?

He’s given me the chance to genuinely feel alive, I’ve never lived so much, and I want more. I will always want more -S

After a long time I could finally say I had a good time without thinking twice about it, yeah I’m grateful but still sacred of all the pain that’s coming for me.

Got only $30 on my wallet to spend for about 3 weeks and decided to refresh my mind with some friends. - S

I’m still thinking, what am I going to feel? A new undiscovered kind of sadness? Will I change physically? Nothing in these grounds are worth to stay for, but you. And once you leave, I don’t think I’m that strong to handle it.

Still taking advantage of no one reading this blog, am I still delusional? -S

Maybe a great way to finish this horrible break, but I just can’t find a way to see how good some things are. I’ve thought about the easy way to finish it all, a lot.

Food was good and the charcuterie board was perfect, water was cold and my nose crying as I was too. -S

He took me to my first concert ever. Everything was so nice, I can still feel the joy of watching Lorde live. I felt relieved without my mother’s concerns behind and the awful deadlines.

Feeling sad and hopeless after that day was already written, I just felt worse knowing I had lived nothing in my life, nothing interesting to share nor to brag. - S

I get emotional with this one, he truly is my everything. I had mixed feelings that day but now I understand it all. It is still hard to believe at least one good thing has happened to me.

Why does every single thing that brings me happiness got to end? I’m just so over - S

So much life in a place I now consider dead to me, first picture taken with this phone. Never thought I’d have one of these. It’s true it gives people power somehow.

I’ve lost safe spaces in this life, I don’t have to tell her anything. Maybe I’d just try it again? - S

I told my mom getting another dog was a bad idea, well she didn’t listen which is not surprising. I love this ball of fat though. He’s so naughty yet so cute

I feel that the only thing keeping me from running away from this house is how much I’d miss them - S

I once thought learning how to play chess was impossible, little did I know a child would teach me years after

This picture was taken two weeks ago, it was the start of a hell of a journey. -S