Latest Posts by sapphic-terror - Page 8

soft in the middle, shelby eileen // 14 lines from love letters or suicide notes, david “doc” luben

Hold on to each other.

Start Here - Caitlyn Siehl

by l.g

Martyr and Icarus, a story.

Icarus, another young mortal full of hopes and fears calls hesitantly, Icarus, tell me a thing, please. This human, so flawed and such a helpless dreamer, has bright eyes that can shame gods and a smile so sharp and beautiful that stars don’t shine at all; an impossible love breathes within bones and flesh, like fire.

Was love worth the fall, Icarus? Please, tell me it was, I hope it was, this mortal, youth that is heroic and shattered and slightly afraid, pleads to the sky, pleads to the sea. Hope is almost as dreadful and tricky as freedom, love is even worse.

Oh, Icarus, I think I want to love something divine so hard, I think I want to kiss something divine so much, this young mortal sighs and blinks with tears like shards of glass and blood alike liquid gold. A boy with wings made of wax and flesh as soft as a rose petal cries, for fate is unfair, fate is always so unfair.

Run away from your monster of a lover: they’re going to eat you alive soon, and this night isn’t a night for tragedies, Icarus whispers softly all the things he wishes he’d known.

“Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace”

— Oscar Wilde (The Canterville Ghost)

falling

it’s over.

the deed is done.

their power evaporates,

stardust scattered in the wind,

and time slows down.

they turn, smiling as they tip sideways

their eyes still so bright so kind so full of love

their hair swept up by gravity

“everything’s okay”

their elegant attire fanning around them

“it’s all going to be just fine”

graceful, even as they crumble

“they can’t hurt you anymore”

their weapon slides bloody from their hand.

“it’s over now”

you reach but oh they’re so far away

“you’re safe now”

too far away, and you won’t make it in time

“hush now love please don’t you cry”

crash crash burn.

they fall a glittering diamond

your knight fallen to slay the beast you couldn’t

like the tears streaming down your face

down down down where you can’t follow

and pool upon the ground unmoving

you scream you scream no no no

to lay there still

forever more.

they have a name, a name you shriek

a name I could have branded

into these words with the hiss

oh the sting the howl of anguish,

but I don’t have to, do I?

no,

not when you saw them

ablaze in sunlight

oh how you love them

you knew their name the moment I spoke.

You make it sound like it’s a bad thing, to be a monster. But the day will come when you wish for a monster to drive away the true evil, but I wasn’t here to be at your side.

- And on that day, your kingdom will fall // CBL

Prophets Are Only Useful If They Prophecise - K.Blair - in response to @patronsaintofmonsters prompt ‘monster prophets’ 

start here, caitlyn siehl // untitled, fortesa latifi // rien ne va plus, margarita karapanau (trans. karen emmerich) // black iris, leah raeder // the thorn merchant, yusuf komunyakaa // monster movie, nicola maye goldberg // a key to common lethal fungi, marge piercy // give me a god i can relate to, blythe baird // crimson peak, dir. guillermo del torro (2014) // the house of hades, rick riordan.

do me a favor

Tell me again about how global warming isn’t real while you sign the detention slip for the girl you dress coded in the middle of March because it’s been in the 70’s for the last week?

Tell me again how wrong men being in relationships with men is disgusting as you navigate to the lesbian videos on pornhub?

Tell me again about how gay marriage goes against your Christian beliefs as you sneak off to meet your mistress for the third time today, whom you’re leaving your second wife for?

Tell me again why I, and others like me, should have fought harder against my silent attacker, while you laugh off little boys chasing, and hitting little girls, saying Boys will be boys?

Tell me again why my shoulders, and my knees, and my back need to stay covered, while boys get away with cut offs that show their stomachs?

Tell me again why my breastfeeding is disgusting, and why my nipples must be hidden, while you watch hours of porn fantasizing over unnatural breasts, then saunter outside to mow your lawn without a shirt?

Tell me again why you get a say in what happens with my ovaries when you know in the back of your mind you wouldn’t stick around, and would fight tooth and nail not to pay child support if you got me pregnant.

Please, tell me again.

why does an honourable death not deserve the same surge of grief and anger?

they look at me glass eyed as i mourned for your departure

and although they do not say it outright,

i catch them whispering to each other,

voices quiet as to not rouse the anger welling in me.

“we have won the war,” they say,

“patroclus died for us,” they continue as though i do not know this;

as though i do not map out the emptiness you have left.

that when i look at the cattle i think i can see you herding them in silence;

that when i turn on my side i think i can feel your chest from my back

and your arms on my waist

and your lips on my nape—

you are so integrated in my life and i see you wherever i look,

teasing me with your wide smile and your deep voice,

leaving goosebumps on my skin.

death took you away from me and yet it feels like you have never left,

and they do not understand that this is grieving.

because despite being blessed by the gods,

my eyes are still blind to ghosts

except for yours.

- the ghost of his memories

How To Become a Myth

- Nikita Gill

1.

Fly into the sun, defy anyone who tells you that you cannot love Him.

The ocean will break your fall. even if it is by drowning you.

(You knew he would burn you, Icarus you simply thought he was worth the risk)

2.

Get stolen by a God away from the meadows you once knew, wood nymph.

Become Queen of the Underworld. Turn the land of the dead into home.

(You knew didn’t you, Kore? How to survive you would become Persephone?)

3.

Turn yourself into an echo of the person you used to be, then fall in love with him.

And when he doesn’t notice you Instead falls in love with himself, pine away.

(Narcissus could never love you, dear Echo. Not the way he loved himself.)

4.

Become an indestructible monster. Become the thing that warriors speak of in hushed breaths in terror.

When you finally do die at someone’s hands make sure it is glorious.

(Theseus was the only end worthy of you, Minotaur.)

5.

When the Sea God assaults you, turn people into stone. Turn Gods into stone.

Turn anything that threatens you ever again into stone.

(Medusa, Athena turned you monster to protect you. She took your beauty to give you power.)

6.

Adore her so much that the world grieves with your broken heart’s song.

Almost save her from the Underworld. Almost.

(Orpheus, all you had to do was not turn to look at her.)

7.

Marry a God King.

Watch him betray you over and over again. Become bitter and cruel.

Recognise he will never respect you. Promise to make him suffer till he does.

(Hera, I know why you couldn’t leave him, it was all for love, it was all for love)

8.

Become an undefeated warrior in a war where you lose everything you love.

Even the one you love most of all. Don’t realise it. Keep fighting.

(Achilles, Patroclus’ love would have made you immortal anyway.)

9.

Be unhappy in your marriage. Find a dangerous Prince who promises you a real love.

Run away with him

Do not think of the consequences.

(Helen, you didn’t just launch a thousand ships you set kingdoms ablaze.)

10.

Destroy everyone you love in a murderous rage.

Go on a journey hoping it will kill you

(Hercules tell the truth, you hoped those tasks would be your destruction didn’t you?)

Addendum:

Don’t become a myth. Stay human.

Stay mortal.

It is less wounds.

I promise. It is less wounds.

School Admission: Why are you all failing?? What can we do to help??

Students: We all hate ourselves and none of us have the energy to do school work

School Administration: Did freshman year not prepare you enough???

Students: The majority of us have at home problems and school work is more unnecessary stress

School Administration: Were you not ready for another class???

Students: Boi

Do not tell me that girls cannot change the world. I grew on stories of a twelve year old Anne Frank in a cramped, silent room weaving hopeful magic with just a pen. And Ruby Bridges facing racist monsters when she was only six, to become the first African American child to desegregate an all white school. And Anandi Gopal Joshi, only 19 years old and the first woman doctor of India. And Mary Shelley changing the face of fiction forever by inventing a whole new genre at 18. I grew up on tales of girls fighting destiny, carving history with their own two hands, breaking down walls. So if my daughter ever doubts herself because she is told she cannot, I will hand her stories as a sword and faith as a shield and tell her, “You know what? They told Anne and Ruby and Anandi and Mary they couldn’t, too. And it didn’t stop them. Because nothing can stop a girl with eyes aflame with courage and a war song in her chest.”

Nikita Gill, Stories of Girls Who Changed The World

Gen Z

“Kids these days spend too much time on their phones” 

I have perfected the art of talking people down from high places halfway across the country, at the early morning hours of two or three, when heartbeats falter 

“Kids these days are too sensitive, they don’t have real problems”

I cannot count on my fingers how many of my friends know the feeling of a cold blade on warm skin, bruises where they can’t be seen, the sound of a parent’s footsteps almost drowned out by the thumping in their chest 

“Kids these days don’t know anything about politics”

They call themselves “the forgotten” and yet, where is that when they can’t seem to remember our names 

“Kids these days are-” 

Afraid 

Afraid 

Afraid 

Drowning in twenty-seven APs 

And they told us you could smell fear 

Well I’m drenched in it 

Can’t you tell 

Can’t you see 

No? 

Just ignore me 

Kids these days are tired 

And fed up 

Furious 

Call-your-senator furious 

School-walkout furious 

I’d-fight-your-family-if-I-could furious 

Come-and-let’s-make-our-own furious 

Join-arms-and-shields-and-battle-cry furious 

Vote-the-fucker-out furious 

Rally-in-the-streets furious 

Practice-what-you-preach furious 

Kids these days 

Are done with 

Sitting down 

And staying quiet 

Kids these days 

Have fists 

And ballots 

And protest signs 

And picket lines 

And we’re going to use them

@glassheartedboy

and we were supposed to be the saviors. the generation to fix it all. but they left us with a broken planet and no tools to fix it and then they sneered when we came to them, empty handed.

“you’re so privileged,” they chortle. “it’s because you’re always on your phone.”

we are the kids living in a nightmare. they say we’re numb to 9/11 but maybe that’s because what was the worst day for them could become just another thursday for us. school shootings every other day and a rapist on our Supreme Court but hey, that’s how it is, right? at least we have memes to tide us over until doomsday. this hellscape is somehow normal. our president says people should be deporting for kneeling during the national anthem and all we can is laugh at it. but we are no longer laughing because it’s a joke.

we’re laughing because we’re afraid.

afraid that the world is going to end before we even become adults, afraid that we’ll be plunged into another war because of a fucking tweet, afraid of shooters coming in through our doors and children being taken from their homes and the problem is that our fear is justified. that it’s real and it’s happening.

nearly everyone i know is queer, depressed, and/or sick of the adults in this world. sick of how 71% of our pollution is caused by 1% of the population. sick of how we can only sit here and listen to them tell us to take shorter showers because there’s nothing else we can do.

and fuck, have we tried to do everything we can. walk-outs, protests, boycotts. speak up and speak out, but it’s just too late. they’ve been digging underneath us this whole time and it’s only now that the floor’s collapsing that we see the pit. how it’s not that they’re not hearing us anymore. trust me, we’ve made sure they’ve heard. it’s just that they don’t care.

and suddenly all those dystopian futures don’t look so far away. you know, where people die in the streets because doctors refuse to see them. where people are silenced (shot, jailed, deported) for speaking out. sometimes I think I’ll wake up and everyone will be marching in rhythm.

they told us to save the world, but we never had a chance.

Gen Z

Born in the shadow

Of 9/11

Birth certificates

Make a spectacle

Of how gullible we are

.

The news channel

Like a lullaby

Our parents watch

Not wanting to wake us

We go to sleep knowing

That the monsters

Were never under our bed

.

And despite what we go through

Despite how many horrors

We are witness to

A gag is on our mouth

Told we are

Too young

Too stupid

Too naive

And we are

.

I am

Too young

To be scared of going to school

And watching the life pour out of my friends

Because skin isn’t impenetrable like titanium

Ricocheting bullets embed themselves in soft skin

And now I’ll never be able to say

“I’m sorry” for that dumb fight during lunch

Bulletproof backpacks

Were never in the school wish list

Look around the class

Who are you willing to die for?

Are you strong enough to comfort their mom?

She’ll be crying on your shoulder

As you tell stories

How everybody copied off their homework

Because they were the smartest

Or how they never failed to make the class burst in laughter

Explaining the inside jokes that died with them

In a pool of their own blood

Right by your desk

.

I am

Too young

To find my friend’s body

Slumped over

On the bathroom floor

Candy coloured pills stuffed down their throats

Dothiepin, Amitriptyline and Imipramine

Or maybe crimson blood pouring down their wrists

Because we never questioned

If they were hot with a sweater during summer

Too late to help battle whatever demons they were facing

Too late to be the knight in shining armour they needed

And a note lays in their hand

Apologizing for what they did

When you know the person that should’ve apologized

Was you

Because maybe

If you had listened more

If you had asked the right questions

If you had done this or that

It doesn’t matter

Cause when suicide

Is the 2nd leading cause

Of death in youth

What’s the point

Trying to be the superhero with the red cape

When you might be the one at the noose?

.

I am

Too young

To see familiar faces on the news

Afraid to see my friends body

Drape over a white sheet

As if that covers up the horrors

“Don’t shoot!”

Shouldn’t be

Someone’s last words

He looked older in the dark

He only fired in self-defense

Blue lives or black lives?

Which ones matter most?

You might call me obnoxious

Because i don’t submit to your ideals

But let me ask you this

When did people go to an academy

For their skin?

When were people given uniforms

For their skin?

When were people given guns

For their skin?

They just wanted to go home

To their families

That’s what we all want

But only one of us will go home

The other laying on the concrete

Covered in a white sheet

Like cheap Halloween decoration

The blood seeping through

Scratchy white fabric

.

I am

Too young

To be sent out of class

Because my skirt was too short

“The boys will be distracted”

They said

But I look around the room

They’re doing their work

They’re focused

So why are you not?

Why are you looking at my legs?

I’m walking down the street

A man old enough to be my dad

Is looking at me, staring

Like a lion watches his prey

Looking for a moment to strike

A cobra swaying from side to side

If I’m not careful

His poison will flow through my veins

I can feel his eyes on me

As if I somehow share his sins

They are crawling on my back

So maybe I should’ve put on that jacket

Maybe I should’ve worn pants instead

But it was a nice day

And I had just ironed my skirt

And maybe I should’ve asked someone

To come get the mail with me

Because now if something happens

It’s my fault

.

I am

Too young

To be crying at my friend’s funeral

Because no matter

How many times

I told them to stop

They wouldn’t

A loopy wonderland

And meaningless smiles

Were too much

Of a temptation

Against a brutal reality

Of a cold and desaturated planet

Shouts still ringing

In their ears

And last week

Their mom found their body

Overdosed in the bathtub

Eyes still wide

Staring

Pupils dilated

And now

My last memory of them will be

Silky smoke in my face

Burning claws in my lungs

While I’m still sitting on the couch

Drinking Diet Coke

Because I “don’t know how to live”

But apparently

Neither do they

.

I grew up in a world

Where violence is common

A bullet flies by

But I don’t notice

Desensitized and numb

.

And now that I have a voice

That you’ve never heard before

You will try to silence me

But can you really blame me

For my shouts?

I was born with information

At my fingertips

Connected

To every news source in the world

And you expect me

To stay at the kid’s table

During dinner?

Because the adults are talking?

.

But you have brought me onto this earth

Where the expectation

Was to watch the world burn

And you don’t care

Because you’ll die

Before you see the sun explode

But I will remain

We will remain

To see our flesh melt off

You brought us here

In the middle of a battle

And you have failed miserably

The battles you won

Will be meaningless

Against the war that we will win

.

We will rise from the ashes

Of what you have already burned down

Gen Z is slowly dying on the inside as you paint a smile on your face.

Gen Z is hoping for another bomb threat so you can get out of taking that math test.

Gen Z is laughing at things that make no sense to anyone else because they don’t realize that humor is the only thing we have left.

Gen Z is making nihilistic jokes all the time.

Gen Z is saying you want to die and hearing your friends say they want to die and not quite knowing if they really mean it anymore and being scared that they do.

Gen Z is not making those jokes so much after someone really does die.

Gen Z is knowing exactly why every door on campus needs an ID card to open.

Gen Z is knowing that those locks won’t do shit if something really happens.

Gen Z is wondering when someone will come to your school and start killing your friends.

Gen Z is hating the shitheads in charge and just waiting until you can finally do something about them.

Gen Z is being torn between wanting to die and wanting to overthrow the government.

Gen Z is being tired of being treated like a child when our childhoods were ripped away from us years ago.

Gen Z is growing up too fast but still no one else will take you seriously.

Gen Z is angry.

Gen Z is done.

Gen Z is here and you’d better watch your asses.

Generation Z is “TOO YOUNG”

you say i am too young

too young to be a feminist

too young to know my own sexuality

too young to be depressed

too young to hate

too young to protest

too young to be an activist

too young

too stupid

too naive

and you are right

i am too young

too young to be scared of bullets ricocheting through my school, embedding themselves into my fellow classmates and having to watch as the life from my best friends once bright and hopeful eyes flickers out, knowing i will never be able to apologies for that stupid fight we were having, knowing i will never be able to laugh, smile, or talk with her again, knowing i will never be able to hug her again, knowing i will never be able to tell her i love her one last time

too young to be scared of being raped by a man while i walk down the street in my school uniform because i can feel his eyes watching me and i should have waited for someone to walk with me, i should have waited for jacky to have finished her test so we could walk together because now if something happens to me it’s my fault but i just wanted to go home to get ahead on schoolwork

too young to be scared of finding my friend dead in a sticky pool of her own crimson blood because slitting her wrists and watching the blood flow was better than living or finding her body cold and lifeless on the bathroom floor with candy colored pills scattered around her and stuffed down her throat because she’d rather go out in a loopy daze than try to withstand and fight the torment and i couldn’t make it in time to stop her

too young to be scared of seeing a familiar face on the news because jordan was black and looked older than his actual age and the white middle aged cop shot in “self defense” even though jordan was unarmed and innocent or because elias was muslim and was carrying a “suspiscous” bag and was shot and later died because the police officers thought he was a “terrorist” when elias just wanted to get home to his mom and little sister with a jewelry box to give them, which now sits in peices on the concrete floor

too young to be scared of finding my lgbt friends killled, abandoned, or sent off to a conversion camp because all they wanted was love and acceptance but instead they found hate and rejection because they were “disgusting sinners” who were just “confused” and katy is finally back from camp but she doesn’t even remember my damn name

too young to be sobbing with such lose and grief over people so dear to me who were killed and died too young because no one would help them because all of their cries were “fake” because they were too young to know “real” pain

too young to be scarred, bruised, bloody and beaten by a war i did not start or choose to fight in

you say i am too young

and you are not wrong

i am too young

too young for

H O M O P H O B I A

R A C I S M

S E X I S M

R A P E

S E L F   H A R M

S U I C I D E

G U N   V I O L E N C E

and

S C H O O L   S H O O T I N G S

to be normal to me

i should not be so desensitized by this violent reality

so yes, i am too young

but you cannot blame me

for my hyper awareness of our reality

my generation was born with information at our fingertips

and we have been told to sit still and be quiet

because the adults were talking

but you had your chance

it is now our turn to speak

and our turn to fight

because our rage is pure fire

and with every ragged breath we take

our lungs get more shredded by all of the hate and misery

that is ingrained so deeply in our society

you say we are “too sensitive”

because we are “hormonal teenagers who cannot control our emotions”

and therefore we “cannot have opinions”

but you can no longer invalidate our claims as we yell for change

because the DEATH of our classmates

and the BLOOD of our friends

has paved the path for this revolution

your generation may have won battles

but my generation will be the one to win the war

my generation will be the one to instill change and bring peace

because we grew up in a hating world spiraling into darkness and death

and dying was never our biggest fear

watching the world burn around us was expected

but we fully intend to repair the damage you all have so carelessly done

>>we are generation z and we will be the ones to rise from the ashes<<

3/31/18

started: 2:31 a.m.

finished: 3:49 a.m.