so many of you going through sorrows and i wish i could help or take them away and i wish none of you ever had to be hurt or sad and i wish things in the world were gentler and easier and different
this thread and this article detail recordings made available to the media that were taken during the oct. 7 massacre by hamas terrorists. there is a sickness there beyond words, but the sickness i have seen on social media is something different, an almost desperate urge to perceive these acts as noble, misunderstood, exaggerated. it's an utter unwillingness to accept that true evil exists, motivated by ideas that seem almost imaginary - too horrible to be true - to people who have been shielded from such inescapable violence and hatred for so long that no one remembers how to respond. it is so unthinkable that many cannot think it, will not think it. they will retreat to moral equivalence, they will fold it into their existing framework (the victims were not innocent, not really), they will change the subject so that they don't have to admit their moral compass is broken, that they outsourced it to their politics, to their radical friends who like shouting about injustice and revolution without understanding what any of it means. this is what it means.
I've been trying and trying and trying to get back into fandom shitposting and metas and writing—escaping and finding some enjoyment in being here, but I just… can't. Fandom seems so unimportant now. What's the point of getting invested in any it? None of it's real, none of it truly affects our lives. And it doesn't change the real world; it doesn't change that so many people have died and are dying still—or that those I thought would protect Jews are engaging in the very tactics the Nazis and so many before them used to justify their genocides against us. I'm struggling to find the motivation to do anything besides wallow in the pain of losing family members, the slaughter of my people, and the danger posed to me, personally, within the diaspora. To be honest, finding any joy in life feels futile and wrong.
And this is why I'm so angry at all the random goyishe fandom blogs posting about how evil white Israeli colonizers control the world and are lying about what happened to them (but also how it would totally okay if had happened, since they deserve it). Because these supposed progressives? It's all performative bullshit for them. It doesn't affect their lives in any actual way. They can post about how (((Israelis))) are the real baby killers; they can deny the murder of Jewish children and rape while in the same breath claiming it would be justified if it was true. They can parrot every Nazi talking point in all but name, from Blood Libel to Holocaust Denial to the Elders of Zion, and still believe they are on the side of social justice. Then they can go back to their petty fandom drama feeling good about themselves and forget all about it, while everyone I love and everyone like us suffers the consequences of their actions for years to come. We'll live with the trauma and the pain and the loss—and they'll go on with their lives feeling morally superior to the people they intentionally, callously hurt.
Just... fuck them.
Elvis Presley - If I Can Dream [Alternate Vocal Take 4] Recorded June 23, 1968
if I cannot fly, let me sing. ♡if I wasn't tough, I wouldn't be here.if I wasn't gentle, I wouldn't deserve to be here.♡if not to hunger for the meaning of it all, then tell me what a soul is for?♡if my immortal soul is lost to me, something yet remains. I remain. ♡ a passionate, fragmentary girl; she stood in desperate music wound; voice of a bird, heart like a house; the ghost at the end of the song.♡ Jessica Lynn 🕊❀ paypal ❀
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