Justice Shall Prevail Again. No Matter What

Mary smells like lavenders, Lily smells like cinnamon, Marlene smells like mango spice, Emmeline smells like cherries, Dorcas smells like coffee and Panda smells like honey.

OMGG THE ART IS SO PRETTY WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AU where Regulus’ karma is having a son who happens to be the carbon copy of Sirius.

basically prongsfoot is superior. Yum yummmmmm

I feel like jegulus wouldn't be such a bad ship if regulus wasnt a blood supremacist and wasnt such a loser and there wasnt a blood prejudice sytem going on bc even if he wasnt a death eater he would still be prejudiced and if regulus didn't stand for everything james hated and if james didn't experience an obsession like devotion to Sirius which means that his first instinct whenever he sees another black is to hurt them...basically jegulus wouldn't be a bad ship if it was prongsfoot

fuck you FUCK YOU FUCK ANYBODY WHO SUPPORTS ISRAEL

The Gaza ceasefire has ended as Israel resumes bombing the Strip 20 days after blocking all aid from entering the enclave.

Hate to break it to u but those facts are fanon.....touch some grass. And that "heterosexual tradwife manor" sounds so ickyyyy! Like?? Let a woman choose whatever she wants to do with her life?? What an odd thing to say.

Not to be a hater but a jily fan got mad at me for liking regulus, saying that liking him makes me racist or some thing, and I was like, why we are making up fake problems, because he’s not real?

And I thought about the motives of the jily stan, why are they mad at me? And I realized, it’s jealousy, like every other time some1 is been mad at me. They are jealous bc Regulus is a sexier milf than Lily. Sorry Jily fans! But Regulus is sexier than all other characters, so you shouldn’t get all bend out of shape about it!!

I just finished reading secrets and masks and I dont think im ever going to recover.

Sure, I could read another dramione fanfic to ease the hole in my heart, but nothing will ever do theo justice quite like emerald_slytherin.

I may hate jeg*lus with my whole fucking heart but I'm totally on board with the Gilderat cologne lore making everyone go batshit insane

BRING THAT SHIT ONNNN YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Why is the Marauders fandom allergic to happiness??!!

I was just made aware of the hc that lily was pregnant when she died...

brb I'm going to JUMP OFF A BRIDGE

something that irks me about some draco fanfics is making his parents abusive, that makes absolutely no sense. lucius and narcissa love their son so much, there is nothing in canon that alludes to abuse. even draco's childish tendency to tell everything to his father is a very strong sign that they have a good relationship. even i who, personally, have an 'okay' relationship with my father dont tell him everything that happens to me, i dont trust him enough for that. but draco does.

narcissa made a unbreakable vow to make sure her son is protected in school in hbp, she gives her son her wand (something wizards dont do lightly) after harry takes his, she lies to the dark lord in appreciation for harry confirming that her son is alive and went straight to look for him with lucius (both unarmed i should say).

and lucius, who is a strict father i will not deny that, but compared to harry's uncle, an actual abuser, he's wonderful. he gives draco everything he wants, and not in a "take this and shut up" way, but in a rich aristocratic parent who spoils their child way. he treats draco with respects and talks to him like he would talk to a peer, he trusts draco to know things about his job, plans and prospects. he is only seen being rude to draco when the subject of the conversation is hermione, someone lucius naturally looks down upon, beating draco's grade. he makes draco's life so easy and that is a privilege very few characters in this universe have and its not something bad inherently, he was born with this privilege, and he will make sure his son grows up the same way.

you like it or not the malfoy's are very close-knit, even if they aren't exactly weasley levels of close-knit, they still love and take care of each other. yes they are prejudiced, yes they are war criminals, yes they have no morals, but at least they do everything to protect each other.

and now back to the fanon part. i think most authors do this to humanize draco and make him and harry (bc i only read drarry fics so if this happens also in other draco ships let me know) have more in common. i think the best way to humanize and redeem draco is not by making him a victim of abuse, the lazy way of saying "see! thats why hes like that", but making him realize that everything he once believed was wrong and actively work towards becoming a better person.

edit bc i remembered something related to this: lucius and narcissa love each other also!!! so sick and tired of fics writing their marrige as failed or that they're only married for convenience. narcissa DOES NOT deserve to hear you say those things about her marriage when she went through hell and back to save lucius's name from the GUTTER more than enough times. and lucius "but cissy" malfoy respects and loves his wife so much that he puts up with her crazy family and does. not. complain. keep my parents names out of your mouth!

Canon Marauders meet Fanon Marauders

“I will kill him, James. I simply have to kill him. It’s a duty at this point,” Sirius whispers, at breakfast. 

James is morally opposed to murder, to say the least, but now when he opens his mouth to automatically tell Sirius he can’t kill people, the Abomination walks into the Great Hall, and James closes his mouth, with a sigh. 

He condones it. 

“Can you kill me, too, please?” Remus asks, as he watches his counterpart walk behind the Abomination. 

“Oh, come on! The Other You isn’t so bad.” 

“They’re all bad,” Peter mutters. “Just unbearable to watch.” 

They’ve only arrived in this cursed universe the day before, but it’s already too much to suffer. 

When Sirius met this universe’ version of himself, he had to be restrained from committing unspeakable violence. 

“What’s with the pranks?” James wonders. “Look, they’ve only just entered the Hall and they’ve already pulled a few pranks.” 

“You call those pranks?” Sirius sneers. “Those lame jokes?” 

“They probably take the ‘prankster’ label too seriously,” Peter bemoans. “And I’m missing again. It’s like I don’t even exist here, like those guys forget I’m their best friend.” 

After the Other Sirius, Other Peter was done the dirtiest. He’s much uglier than the real one, far shorter, and so stupid Sirius thinks he shouldn’t even be allowed to attend school. 

Not that Other Sirius is smart- oh, no. Other Sirius is a moron, apparently allergic to books. 

Remus got an upgrade- he’s now a wise genius to rival Dumbledore, and he spends his days giving people chocolate frogs.

It’s a wonder the Abomination is so thin, with how much chocolate he’s getting from Other Remus. 

So thin and short. 

“Why am I short?” Sirius growls. “I don’t know mate, it’s like the creator of this universe misremembered our heights and switched them around,” Remus offers, watching his other self, a very tall bastard. He’s even taller than Real Sirius. 

Outrageous. 

“I could suffer you short,” James says. “But look at him, he’s - why is he so…is that ...nail polish? Gods, what have they done to my Sirius!” 

“I asked him if he still has the bike,” Peter whispers. “He said he does, but I mean- he’s so fragile and dainty, how does he even manage that monster bike?” 

Sirius shakes his head in horror. “I have to kill him, there’s no way around it.” 

The Other Sirius whines in the distance. “MOOOOONY,” he pouts, and that's it, Sirius stands-

“Not here,” James pulls him by his sleeve. “You can’t have witnesses.” 

(-)

It takes them a few days to figure out what’s wrong with Other James. At a first glance, he looked normal, compared to the others. Almost unchanged from his real version, if only stupider. But not as stupid as Other Sirius and Other Peter, of course. 

A chicken wouldn’t be dumber than those guys. 

When they do figure it out, James throws up. 

“There, there,” Sirius pats his back. “Breathe, mate. Breathe.” 

“I’m fucking your brother! Your brother, Sirius!” 

“Oh, no, that is not my brother. That is Other Brother.” 

This version of Regulus is apparently not a bigot at all, it’s all just a big misunderstanding. He’s an Animagus, too, somehow. 

Sirius actually thinks Other Regulus is an alright lad- nothing like his brother, mind you, but alright, in general. 

James throws up again. “Me! With Regulus Black! I’m not even gay! I love Lily, and she loves me-” 

“Well, apparently she’s gay, too, in this world.” Remus says, which only makes James cry.

That isn’t so bad, really. Many things are wrong with this universe, but Lily and Dorcas look hot together. Sirius had a wank thinking of them the other night. It’s fine, he tells himself. He’s not betraying James. This Lily is nothing like their Lily back home. This one is like a goddess of beauty here, hair far more vibrant than the Real one, flawless skin and overall perfect in everything she does. Extremely selfless, saint-like, to the point she apparently offered to carry Regulus’ and James’ baby after Hogwarts.

Real Lily would hate her. 

She’s still not worse than Other Sirius. Nothing is worse than that. Real Sirius has taken to bullying Other Sirius, daily. Hourly. The Abomination whines about it to Other Remus all the time. 

“I want a word,” Other Remus hulks over, ridiculously muscular and, for some reason, with scars on his face. 

What the fuck happened to this bloke? Who even is he?

Real Remus slinks back. He was never one for confrontations, their Remus, but apparently this upgraded version is all up for it. 

“Listen,” Sirius tells him, because he doesn’t hate the man- sure, he’s not Remus, but he seems like a nice lad. “Why do you put up with that insufferable drama queen? He deserves to hang, and you deserve better.” 

“That’s my baby! That’s my Pads,” Other Remus says, suddenly all violent, his eyes turn yellow- what the actual fuck? 

But Sirius is already nauseous, stomach turning as soon as he heard ‘baby’ and ‘Pads”  coming out of his mouth. 

Real Remus cheers from the sidelines as Sirius wipes the floor with Other Remus. The Abomination cries somewhere in the distance, all helpless, until Real James hits him over the head with a candlestick. Other James is too busy sucking Other Regulus’ face to notice anything. 

(-)

Other Snape has a split personality, as if someone out there can’t decide if he’s evil reincarnate or a mewling, innocent boy. 

It’s jarring to see the shifts, day to day, and Sirius doesn’t know which version he hates more. 

He never thought he’d miss Snape, but he does. He misses their Snape, gods damn it, the Real one. 

(-)

He finds out his parents- or at least his parents in this world- torture Other Sirius on a daily basis. With the Cruciatus, even. 

Other Regulus tells him this, all traumatised. 

“Well,” Sirius says, shocked to the core. He almost laughs at the absurdity of it. “To be fair, if I had a son like the Abomination, I’d torture, him, too.” 

(-)

Dumbledore is Evil. But stupidly so. Even a random eleven year old saw through his evil plans and humiliated Dumbledore at breakfast. Some smart arse kid, who’s apparently Lord Potter Black Gaunt Slytherin, and talks like an eighty year old politician. Apparently Dumbledore stole his money or something. 

“I wonder how Other Voldemort is like,” James says, anxious to consider it. 

“I don’t even care,” Peter says. “We should join him. It’s either him, or siding with these lunatics.” 

They all nod in agreement. Voldemort can’t be worse- nothing can be worse than Other Sirius and Evil Stupid Dumbledore.  

(-)

There’s two Voldemorts. 

One is practically a ‘cartoon character’ Remus says. Sirius has no idea what that means.

This Voldemort is Ridiculously Evil. 

Insane Bellatrix is his most loyal. For some reason Insane Bellatrix cackles all the time, and mutters about blood and the Cruciatus under her breath. She’s also dressed like a slut. 

Real Bella, like the aristocrat she is, would never be caught looking like that in public. 

Sirius takes her aside to have a few words with her, and then he finds out apparently she, too, was tortured daily by her parents, like Other Sirius. 

“And raped,” she remembers, with a shrug.  

Wow, and Sirius thought the Real versions of the Blacks were bad, but these people take the fucking cake. 

If the Real Blacks would find out what these Other Blacks are doing to their children, there’ll be hell to pay. 

His mum is a right basket case back in his world, insufferable and cruel with her words, unreasonably strict, but if she’d ever find out another version of herself is torturing her children- why, she’d cut that bitch in pieces. 

(-)

The second Other Voldemort is some misunderstood good guy with a sob story. He whines about his tragic childhood as much as Other Sirius. 

At least this Other Voldemort is still tall, unlike Other Sirius. 

“It’s all Dumbledore’s fault,” he ends a monologue. “He made me do all I did. Or-” he checks a list. “Apparently sometimes he simply framed me and I didn’t do anything at all. Also, you can call me Tom, in private,” he invites them. 

It’s a tragic state of affairs. 

They decide to join Ridiculously Evil Voldemort, simply because he’s the only one that wouldn't protest to murdering everyone. He talks about murder every single day, and Sirius promises him he’ll do anything If he’s allowed to kill Other Sirius. 

“Oh, by the way, you should deal with Good Guy Voldemort.” 

“With who?” 

“You know, the hotter you, the one that’s innocent of all wrongs and calls himself Tom.” 

Evil Voldemort has a heart attacks and dies. 

(-)

They’re on the run from everyone in that crazy world, when a hooded figure enters their tent.  

“Is it you? Is it really you?” the man asks. “Potter? Black? Lupin? Pettigrew?’ 

“Yes, it’s us.” 

The person lowers his hood. It’s Snape. Real Snape. With greasy hair and a large nose, but with intelligent, sharp eyes.

There’s no ‘Victim’ stamped on his forehead, nor is he an evil arrogant bastard, like the Other Snape.

“Fuck, Snivellus! A sane person! I could hug you!” 

“I’d rather not,” Snape spits at James. “Alas, I am...relieved to have found you. We need to work together. I came here after you-” 

“Of course you did, you berk! You were stalking us, as usually, weren’t you?” 

“Yes,” Snape says, unashamed. “I killed the Other me.” 

“Good job. I killed the Other me, too,” Sirius boasts. “I took my time with him.” 

“I killed Other Lily,” Snape says. “She had to go. She was all ...wrong.” 

James sniffles. “She was.” 

And then they all sit down, and plan how to kill Good Guy Voldemort and Evil Stupid Dumbledore.