Latest Posts by scarboryfairbanks - Page 3

[OC X CANON APPRECIATION POST! 🩷✨]

REBLOG IF YOU LOVE AND SUPPORT OC X CANON!!

sorry to be feral on main but oh my god???

the cunt being served here is so intense it immediately ruptured my cells upon seeing this. i will not and can not recover from this, i fear.

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.

it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.

it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords

so i took out the trash today like the good house husband i am not, leaving behind the rank smell of long forgotten noodles and the regrets of two people with memory issues

i, like any good tumblr citizen, remember the tales of the person who put two cups of vanilla extract in their oven so i did the sensible thing to get out two Caps of extract

just then, inspiration struck. a bolt of lightning straight from the muses themselves, if i could use vanilla extract.... who's to say i couldn't use other extracts?

i scoured the cabinets, i knew my partner had secreted away some illicit non-vanilla type extracts for baking, and i found it.

hidden in the back of the cabinet was a lone bottle of mint extract

i emptied my two caps with abandon into an (oven safe) glass dish and gleefully set the oven for 300 for an hour

all that was left now was to wait for the sins of the mind to be purged by the mighty mint leaf

ten minutes in... starting to smell kinda like a thin mint

fifteen minutes in, i take a nice deep breath of lovely scented air and i am greeted by searing burning minty pain

i launch myself towards the kitchen, every step closer to mint hell, every orifice on my face burning with the freezing righteous flame of menthol

im fumbling for the oven mitt to rid my home of this foul demon, i pry the oven open and am hit with a blast unlike anything else

i feel what that vine kid taking shots of mouthwash feels, i was seared raw, my tits were blown clean off, and it was just me and that devilish beguiling minty fresh taste

quickly dumping the rest into the sink i ran towards the door, begging for the sweet sweet smell of un-minted air

learning nothing from this encounter, i dare to try once more, with the tumblr-approved extract this time

wish me luck

uh oh!! looks like you’ve seen the cursed collaboration jpeg featuring sadako and smiledog. share this jpeg to avoid unwanted consequences

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

YES

THE WITCH IS DEAD

(Technically the witch is only harmed in the panel but I refuse to believe that anybody would stop the van)

WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

𝐘𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐢 𝐀𝐔

[Pt1] [Pt2] [Pt3] [Pt4] [Pt5] [Pt6] [Pt7] [Pt8] [Pt9] [Pt10] [Pt11] [Pt12] [Pt13] [Pt14] [Pt15] [Pt16] [Pt17] [Pt18] [Pt19] [Pt20] [Pt21] [Pt22] [Pt23] [Pt24] [Pt25] [Pt26] [Pt27] [Pt28] [Pt29] [Pt30] [Pt31] [Pt32] [Pt33] [Pt34] [Pt35] [Pt36] [Pt37] [Pt38] [Pt39] [Pt40] [Pt41] [Pt42] [Pt43] [Pt44] [Pt45] [Pt46] [Pt47] [Pt48] [Pt49] [Pt50]

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐄…

this is so fucking funny

just wanna draw England as a hobbit

Sticky hand wall update

It's canon that the reason dazai survived many of his attempt was because Mori was keeping him alive which sounds like a full-time job

Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad

serennedy to too sweet by hozier 🫡

Is it just me or do any of y’all also routinely forget that obey me is an otome game?

speechless. the pose. the expression. this should be a painting.

made a uquiz

the way aragorn runs is so chaotic

i love working to the sound of someone else losing their marbles. this is my favorite genre of youtube video

This is what the train horror games really should've gone for

thinking abt how fucked up steam engine boiler explosions can look. theyre just pipes under there

gives me the idea of a ghost/monster engine that looks normal, albeit a bit battered, only to swing their smokebox door open and a myriad of pipes come bursting out like fucked up tentacles

i love finding poetry in the mundane, and yesterday i stumbled upon something that just hits that spot

So, my partner has an old phone- It served them for many years now, but it has one issue: Charging it is hard. Their current charger is hanging on by a thread (literally), and can barely do its job. The phone and the charger came together: They've never used another charger for said phone.

Now, they've tried to replace the charging cord several times. But it doesn't matter how much they've searched what damned specific charger the phone uses, none of them work. They finally decided to bring it to a phone shop and ask what should they use.

The guy at the shop looked at the phone for a bit, and explained: "The port itself is broken. The charger you have works with this phone because they've mutually broken each other into the same shape, in a way that no other charger is shaped. The port itself has corroded in a way that only accepts the charger that shaped it like that in the first place."

And while this is of course a frustrating situation for my partner, I feel like there's a metaphor here. I could write a goddamn story about this. These two half-broken old things have been together for so long they've destroyed each other in a way that keeps them from working with anything else. They've hurt each other in a way that barely keeps them functioning together, and have been rendered useless with literally anything else.

This too is toxic yuri to me-

I made a DSMP storybook (with cutouts) inspired by Arthur Rockham's Sleeping Beauty silhouettes.

Full poem (in text) under the cut.

In the depths of a forest, a twisted man did dwell, with all he ever wished for, yet still his greed would swell. A prince of great might, with the earth at his feet, clad in a verdant cloak and a mask of ivory sheet. Though he owned all he sought, his essence was bare, devoid of the joy that his wealth could ensnare. With nothing left to own, he sought immortal life instead, for death he would defy. To be a God, he chose himself, in pride, he led— for none divine could die. One day, he chanced upon a boy who frolicked in the mead. For the first time, his heart was moved and it began to plead. "This child," he exclaimed, "Must be the key to my divinity, for what can move a God's heart, but a muse's affinity?" For weeks, he watched him with passion and zeal, and planned to keep this muse, to whom he would appeal. With gifts and good fortune, he lured the boy with ease, seeking nothing but for all his friendship in his kindly pleas. The boy, trusting and naïve, followed the False God's lead, his deceit spun like silken web, to which he paid no heed. The man betrayed him and drove his loved ones away, leaving the boy destitute, completely alone to sway. "Do not despair," said the False God, "for I will not leave you behind." He held tight to the weeping boy and promised, “To you, I will be bind.” "Never will I leave you," the False God declared, "I am your only friend. Forever, we'll be paired." The boy followed him, his obedience in vain. Often, he was struck, the man delighting in his pain. The boy tried to change, to avoid the man's ire, but nothing could satisfy the False God's desire. "You are my muse," he confessed with glee, "The key to my salvation, the one who'll set me free." He locked the child away in a vault without end, using him as a vessel for magic he could bend. The boy's pleas for mercy went unheard and ignored. Each time, he was destroyed, and again, he was restored. Every return to life, he was less the same, no progress made. The boy no longer smiled or laughed, his inner-light soon to fade. The False God gazed upon his work with horror and with fear, for now he knew his immortal life was impossible to near. He would die, alone and bereft in a world so vast, his muse no longer moving his heart, for at last he could see, that the boy was just an ordinary child, and nothing more than he.