John: I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out Really Mean: A Five Part Documentary Starring Me

John: International Rescue, how can we assist you?

John: What do you mean you’re being murdered?

John: But it’s illegal! people can’t do that!

Flamethrower

Penelope:Everything alright Parker? You’re not afraid?

Parker: I’m afraid you won’t let me get a flame thrower and use it to throw flame

Penelope: You are quite right, I will not let you do that

“It’s so weird being my own role model”

— Lady Penelope

Spotify: [depressing emo song comes on]

Kuroo: a fucking BOP

Scott *to Alan and Gordon*: You guys are idiots, you know that?

Gordon: In our defence, we do know that

Grandma: What if I implemented a 'no pets policy' in this villa?

Virgil: Well shit Grandma, we can't just throw Gordon out like that

If we’re ever in a situation where I am the ‘voice of reason’, then we are in a very, very bad situation.

Gordon

Gordon: I once had a crush on someone and I didn't know how to handle it so I just filled their car with heart shaped confetti

Scott: Wow

Penelope: That's so funny, I once went to FAB 1 and found it full of heart shaped confetti

Gordon: How fun! I have to go and water my dog now

*visiting one of the bros in the med bay*

Brains: This r-really takes me back, I loved playing doctor as a child

*flashback of 8 year old Brains holding a stethoscope to a Teddy Bear*

Brains: The cancer has spread, get your house in order

Akaashi: I think I like your nose.

Bokuto: I think I'm in love with you.

Kuroo, in the background: Well, that escalated quickly!