Ever Since I Was A Little Girl I Wanted To Waste All Of My Potential

real

January gothic moods

-Remember to take down your Christmas decorations before the stroke of midnight on January 5th. All lights hanging after that are the province of the old gods, the winter gods, and they will demand sacrifice.

-There are words and songs hidden in the howling wind. Don’t ever listen to them, just cover your ears and keep walking.

-Don’t be fooled be the weak sunlight, or the melting snow that comes at the end of the month. The winter has only barely started and it won’t end for months to come, maybe years.

-It’s dark by the time you leave work. Your drive home feels different than it did in the daylight, and it takes much much longer, though you can’t explain why.

-Be careful driving tonight, they say, there’s ice on the roads. They don’t say anything about the ice creeping into your home, or into your heart.

-You startle awake in the middle of the night, but all you hear is the sound of the hissing radiator or the clanking of the pipes. The things in the darkness have learned to immitate these noises and are waiting for you to let your guard down again.

-It’s a new year, but nothing has changed yet and nothing will.

January | February | March | April | May | June | July | August | September | October | November | December

My asshole coach took me out of today’s game because I missed practice one (1) day last week but it’s fine because I forgot what having a free morning felt like. I slept in, woke up, had my vitamins and a glass of water, stretched, went on a quick 5 mile run, got home and smoked half a joint, took nudes downstairs in front of the giant antique mirror in my living room, made shakshuka to have with the fresh sourdough loaf a friend made me yesterday, let my animals roam outside while I watered my plants, laid under the running water until I climaxed and then took a long cold shower, laid in bed and let the sunlight peaking from the blinds kiss my skin for a few minutes, put on the first thing I could find and my favorite flip flops, changed out my cars cds, and now I’m sitting here debating what to listen to on my way to the farmer’s market to stock up on my favorite decadent coconut yogurt and some things to make ‘nduja and gorgonzola pasta for dinner. I’m thinking it’s a red house painters and bob dylan kind of day

summer rules

(to be responsible for your own happiness)

write every day

fresh air every day

watch the good movies on your watchlist

yoga everyday

ask your coworkers questions about their lives and listen attentively

meditate

read like it's the most important thing to do (it is)

tell people you love them. go in for hugs

dance with your favourite music (naked at home alone or clothed in the club)

put the phone down!!!

swim in natural bodies of water (man made pools aren't the same at all)

embody Florence welch all the time

sit in hammock

get out in the rain

keep your room clean (creatively inspired mess is good too)

hug trees

smile with teeth

don't let yourself feel scared by other people

attend classes and workshops

make rituals out of everything for magic

do everything pretending you are an alien experiencing it for the first time

and/or, live every day as if you have died and begged to come back.

I want to be a Bond girl