Secov1

[on a date]

me: so, enemies to lovers or friends to lovers?

my date: actually, I prefer established relationships-

me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: I think we’re done here

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Eddie: if you were part of the solar system, you’d be the sun. Because even in the dark you still seem to shine.

Richie: you’d be Pluto because you’re so fucking small

HEICHOCTOPUS.  based on a prompt my friend gave me

things you can overhear when Harry is teaching Draco how to cook

Draco: I made a conscious decision to use less salt this time. 

Harry: …

Draco: I wanted it to be more healthy.

Harry: …

Draco: it didn’t taste as good.

Harry: Yeah, you always were a salty bitch.

***wooden spoon clatters against the wall near Harry’s head***

Newt: Hogwarts

Queenie: Ilvermorny

me, an intellectual: Pigfarts

When your mate’s snoring too loud…

“He’s been snoring for hours and I can’t get to sleep… What I’m gonna do is, I’m gonna hit him with this pillow…OK?”

“Fuck! Fuck Jacob get fucking down. I’ve been fuckin’ shot”

[Laughter]

“JACOB”

Policeman: Please state your names.

Eddie: Don’t tell him, Richie.

Policeman: *writing down* Richie.

Eddie: Oh shit.

Richie: Nice job, Eddie.

Policeman: Richie and Eddie.

Richie: Fuck.

isayama:

snk fandom:

Captain America: Civil War (2016)