Sentiach - Mostly SPN

Another day, another school, where the kids all have different names but are all the same. The teacher, also different and also the same, asks her class if anyone collects things. Sam frowns. If he was old enough to know better, he’d say he collects sorrows.

Kids raise their hands and talk excitedly about stamps, flowers drying between book pages, dead butterflies pinned like trophies in transparent showcases, Yo-Yos. Sam raises tentatively his hand, because he wants to melt in this classroom, wants to be just a name, to have a bedroom, a favorite crosswalk, and the luxury to collect things. So he says the one and only thing he can think of: “motel rooms”. Because this is true, somehow. An eclectic collection of dusk in nowhere towns and first days everywhere.

She tries to explain to him that it isn’t the same, because Sam can’t carry motel rooms with him, doesn’t even own them. She sees the light dim in his eyes, as kids start to giggle around him, glancing at him like he just said something hilarious. There’s nothing funny about this. She asks him if there is anything else that he keeps somewhere safe, anything that makes him happy and that he carries with him everywhere, that he can’t get enough of, and Sam thinks about it long and hard, makes a list of everything that fits the description. 

In the end there is just one thing, but the moment he thinks it, Sam’s heart swells in his chest and the kids’ mocking gazes fade in the classroom’s background, because his collection is the coolest in the entire goddamn universe. And none of the kids here can claim to have something as great as him. They can keep their lifeless butterfly wings.

“Sammys, I collect Sammys”, he says with a big grin, and she ask “What are Sammys?” but Sam just laughs. No one in this school deserves to know. No one in the entire town deserves to see his collection. So Sam just laughs and when the bell rings, he leaves with his bag on his shoulders and his teacher’s eyes on his back. 

She’s walking to her car, thinking about dinner and going for a jog maybe, when she hears a loud and boisterous “Sammy!” behind her. There’s so much unfiltered joy and love in those five letters that she feels a half second of jealousy before she can stop herself. She looks around and sees a boy, sun bleached hair and vibrant green eyes, who must be 8 at most, waving at little Sam who is running toward him at full speed, a private smile she’s almost ashamed to be a witness of spreading on his cheeks. 

That’s when she gets it, and as she watches Sam throw himself at the other boy, who just laughs and hugs Sam just as hard, she hopes Sam’s collection will never end collecting dust on the shelves of his memories.

how hard is it to understand, Dean takes care of everyone he loves, he always puts them before himself.

but no one takes care of Dean, no one's there for Dean.

no one, except Castiel, he's the only one who takes care of Dean in return, the only one who has ever put Dean first.

and i'm not saying that Sam doesn't love Dean or that he doesn't try to take care of Dean in return, he does try very hard, but he can't do it, because Dean won't let him.

in Dean's mind he is the oldest, Sam is the baby and is his responsability to take care of Sam, not the other way around. Dean rather die crushed under the weight of everything than be a burden to Sam.

that's the fundamental diference.

Dean won't let Sam in, there's parts of Dean that Sam can't never know.

meanwhile Castiel have seen all of Dean, the best and the absolute worst, all of his bare soul, Castiel literally put Dean together after raising him from hell.

Castiel is not human, and Dean can't hide anything from him.

I don't care. He's an idiot.

SUPERNATURAL 1x17 Hell House

- Truce? - Yeah truce. At least for the next 100 miles.

every time Dean says hi hey hiya Sammy after Sam has not heard his brother's voice or the word Sammy for a long time, my heart cracks just a little bit. like after Dean goes to Hell - seeing and hearing his big brother alive, saying Sammy - what a gutshot. emotional little brother puppy dog eyes initiated goddammit.

but yeah, fast forward hundreds of years or whatever, to the finale and a Sam that lived far too long without his brother because he promised he'd carry on, he'd live that long life Dean so wanted for him. He wouldn't give up, he'd always keep fighting. Then, upon his final breath he wakes up on a bridge in heaven and sees his big brother standing there, hears that voice he wouldn't ever forget but had faded just a little over the decades, god imagine what that must've felt like. "Hey Sammy" Dean says with a smile as if a lifetime hasn't separated them. For Sam, it was like a prayer, the purest kind that doesn't exist any more. "Hey Sammy". And Sam is there again, little brother to Dean. Where he is meant to be. Complete.

Jensen Ackles | JIBCon 2015

(x)

In Gilmore girls, Dean and Jess are both love interests for Rory.

Sam, please tell me why your girlfriend looks so much like your brother. The same height the same face the same smile even the same birthday. I don't believe it's a coincidence. You don't want to admit it but Who do you really love？Going to college was the first time sammy had left his brother, and they had an argument before they separated .How much you miss your brother at that time。。。

Jensen - willow charcoal on canvas

♥ Supernatural - 1.19 Provenance

Dean Winchester - 08x1