Before I Delve Into The Issue Of This, I Need To Discuss My Pronouns Discourse Because This Is Important

I felt that

Boycotting Whoever Annoys Me

I feel like we as a society do not appreciate fanfic writers enough. Imagine commiting to something you don't get paid for, not always appreciated, taking up a huge chunk of your time and the worst of all, some a**hole complaining that fanfic writing isn't actual writing.

So, thank you fanfic writers.

TW: Brief mentions of suicide (I made it very brief because I didn’t want to talk about it too much.)

(Please don’t read if you’re triggered by this, I don’t want anyone to be triggered. So for your own sake, if you continue, then it’s your choice. If you don’t, thank you for prioritizing yourself.)

I never thought I’d found a similar story (or a story with quite a few similar aspects at least) that could possibly convey something that’s SO important to me as accurately as this one.

Aphobia has in fact made one of my closest friends kill themselves over how their family had rejected them simply because they were AroAce. Aphobia is very real, and can very much kill people as any prejudice towards any minority can.

Honestly, seeing this has given me more hope that by spreading messages like these, we can hopefully continue to and maybe even one day normalize platonic, queerplatonic relationships/attraction, aromanticism/asexuality, panromantic/pansexual, etc. And that we are just as a part of the LGBTQ+ community as any other orientation there are.

Personally, as an Oriented AroAce myself, seeing this post, made me SO happy to see that people are starting to (albeit barely from what I seen but I could be wrong) accept Aromantic and Asexual people.

If you disagree with me or whatnot for whatever reason it could be about my reblog, I don’t particularly care as long as it’s just not said here because I don’t want to debate about this in particular.

People, we need to reblog this post because we Aros and Aces deserve to be heard and seen as any other person and human. So let’s do it!! 💚🖤🤍🖤💜

Some Thoughts On Aphobia

As a disclaimer, this entire post obviously comes from an allosexual queer and these experiences are only second-hand from my view of all of this. This blog is usually a fandom blog, but I felt like talking about this because it’s personal to me, and I think that with the exclusionism of aros and aces rampant in the LGBTQ+ community, I could shed some light on some things with this personal story.

So, I have three sisters. My oldest sister is as hetero as they come (but, a huge ally ofc) but my other older sister is bisexual and I am queer/sapphic. My little sister, well, I’ve personally had theories of her being AroAce for awhile, but I didn’t want to push labels onto her or tell her how to feel. In the end, no matter her sexuality, it’s no one’s place to make assumptions. It doesn’t affect me, as long as she’s happy. 

Recently though, my little sister kept asking me more and more questions about asexuality and aromanticism. She asked about the definitions, the flag colours, all of it. And more recently, she admitted to me that she thought she was AroAce.  I gave her my full support and I was proud of her and all that. I’m a protective big sister, what can I say. (and as an aside, I am aware of the statistical unlikelihood that 3 out of the 4 of my sisters are LGBTQ+ and we all find it hilarious tbh)

Now, here’s the thing. My entire family, though this story will particularly be about my mom, knows I’m queer. They know my older sister is bi. We’ve received nothing but support and acceptance. We went to Pride this year, they helped me get into an LGBTQ+ support group, all of the things. 

So imagine my surprise when my little sister comes out to my parents and my mom immediately shuts her down. She says my sister is too young and immature to make that decision, -mind you, I was 14 when I came out, she’s 16- she said my sister hasn’t found the right person and just doesn’t socialise with people enough to know, and best of all, my mother said that my little sister will get married someday and give her grandchildren.

Now, children having to give their parents grandchildren is a rant on its’ own, but we don’t need to get into it because it’s ridiculous to think that my mother, with four children, the oldest of whom is ENGAGED and has picked out names with her fiance for kids, won’t get grandchildren. But all that aside. 

But aphobia isn’t real, right? To reiterate, my mother supports me to death. But when my little sister comes out as AroAce, suddenly it’s an entirely different matter. I even pointed out the hypocrisy of it to my mother, because it would’ve been horrible of her to say to me I’ll get married to a man someday so she shouldn’t say it to my sister. Do you know what my mom’s response was?

“I just want her to be happy.”

Because that’s the thing with aphobia. We exist in a society where happiness is derived from being in a relationship. We talk about soulmates and other halves and the people that complete us. It’s a different brand of homophobia but derived from the same ideas. Rather than it being that marriage can only be between a man and a woman, it’s that marriage between two people is required for happiness. Sex is required for love, and romantic love is required for a happy life.

To be clear, I don’t hate my mom for this, and I do think she’ll come around. I understand it’s a lot to process, but that’s because we refuse to normalise it. There are LGBTQ+ people who won’t even accept Aros and Aces into the community and act like aphobia isn’t real or that it doesn’t hurt people. They act like I didn’t have to go from comforting my baby sister to screaming at my mother for making my sister come to me, devastated. And trust me when I say my sister was lucky. I know there are Aces and Aros who’ve had it so much worse.

I took my sister to my LGBTQ+ support group. It was nice and we both enjoyed ourselves. When we got back home the first thing she said to me was “You know, it was really nice to tell people I was AroAce and not have to explain what it means.”

My point in all of this to point out that aphobia is very real, and that Aros and Aces need to be accepted into the community. It’s the same thing, the same struggle. People like my sister deserve to feel at home somewhere, and they deserve to have the rest of the community rallying behind them and giving them the platform to help explain to cishets their sexuality so that my sister and others can be left the fuck alone. She doesn’t need sex or an “other half” to be a normal, happy person. No one does. 

So TLDR: if you say Aros and Aces aren’t a part of this community, you will die by my queer sword.  And obviously, my views and opinions on all of this are very limited, as I’m not Aro/Ace. So if any Aros and/or Aces want to add on with their personal experience/opinions. I’d love to hear them and I’ll read them all.

honestly it’s almost like our generation is set up to be lonelier & more anxious & more insane like imagine already being 20/30-something, the period of your life where you’re expected to be “at your prime”, in the middle of a climate crisis and a pandemic, under late-stage capitalism’s celebrity culture that conditions you to be as likeable & “marketable” as possible, where it seems like every lived experience should be watchable/profitable. & you look at the future you’re supposed to be working hard for & all you see is climate catastrophe meanwhile you scroll down a little & see a skin care ad that’s like “fight aging”. i haven’t said anything here that hasn’t already been said by someone else, but imagine being 20/30-something & normal

when you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! then, send to your last ten people in your notifs (anonymously). you never know who might benefit from spreading positivity :)

LOL around the same timing as the other ask huh?

It must be the anon from the other ask! (RIGHT, PLEASE LET ME BE RIGHT???) 😂

It’s really kind of y’all to be asking me stuff, it feels nice ❤️

Now onto my list-

Music, all kinds of music. For some reason, I really love all kinds? Idk why, my misophonic ears usually scream bloody murder at me LMAO-

WITCHCRAFT!! I may be a new witch but I’m SO invested into witchcraft already, it’s SUCH an amazing craft to get into!

Bullet Journaling, I love stickers, and planning, and making my own stuff, sooo. Yeah this was kinda a no brained from me :p

Talking to other people (shocker I know), but it’s really soothing and nice to hear other people’s voices and just their overall intellect and opinions in conversations, lmao idk why.

My safe foods, specifically my precious spicy noodles that my family always get from a Chinese place nearby, it’s been my comfort and safe food for YEARS. And I’m probably not letting it go LOL.

Again, I’m honored that someone was willing to ask me questions!

I’m almost always here so I mean, fire away with questions from me 😅

The person I reblogged this from is super cute and deserves to have a nice day

So true lmaoo