Latest Posts by sgmaleslaveforrent - Page 3

Cruel to be Kind

Is it cruel or kind to ruin the male orgasm?

Ruined orgasms make little sense if the male is a dom. He gets pure enjoyment from it, it feels great, and afterwards, he will still be in the proper frame of mind to remain dominant. Nothing is lost in the process.

But what of the submissive male? He has been a good boy all week, so you decide that he deserves an orgasm. You remove his chastity device and tease him into a frenzy. At that moment, he needs to cum so badly, to the point where he would do humiliating things he probably wouldn’t normally do to achieve it. He is as submissive as he will ever be as you decide that you have teased him enough, and you send him crashing over the edge. The only problem is, his submissive feelings crash as well, as his body releases prolactin during the full male orgasm.

Suddenly, your good boy goes through a drastic change. He loses most of his lust for you, his owner, which inspired much of his subordinate behavior. He may even balk at being relocked in his chastity cage. What the hell just happened? He has been feeling so submissive to you but most of that feeling just got flushed from his system along with his semen. What he wanted, needed, maybe even begged for a few seconds ago is immediately regretted by you both. Why?

As a domme you will feel peeved by his sudden change in demeanor.  You think his submission to you shouldn’t change just because of a momentary bodily function. Are you just a kink dispenser for him? He should be submissive no matter what. And you know what? A truly submissive male will agree with those thoughts, feeling guilty and disappointed with himself over it. His heart will be filled with dread and self doubt. He will regret having that orgasm just as much as you now regret giving it to him.

Not only does he enjoy serving and obeying you, he also loves the general feeling of being submissive. It is a part of him, a part of who he is, how he identifies himself, and he has just lost that. The release of prolactin ruins his submissive frame of mind making it hard for him to submit afterwards for a few hours, to even a day or two. He feels bad, but has no control over the process. But working in collaboration with you, as a team , it can be controlled.

The ruined male orgasm. Is it really ruined, or is it simply improved upon? After all, it is still pleasurable to him, just not as powerful and intense as a full orgasm. The important part is denying the prolactin release. If successful, not only will his submissive feelings remain, his horniness and lust which are pleasurable to him in their own right will continue (subdued) as well.

Are a few seconds of intense pleasure worth it in the end? Or is it better to trade that short burst for a much longer but still highly enjoyable experience? After all, he isn’t really gaining anything by orgasming. He is trading one pleasure for another, his submissive feelings that can last days for a quick burst of intensity that lasts only seconds, and ruins everything else.

We have decided that ruined orgasms will be the answer in the foreseeable future. It’s just better, for both of us.

Boys are simple, easy to control. I don't need chastity to do it. I just like the way it makes them act. Revved up and willing to try anything. I take advantage of that weakness. I cruelly twist their fantasies & they perform inspired acts of self-degradation for my amusement.

Only in Singapore Singapore

Been talking to some lovely people lately on here and on FetLife, and I've been inspired to lay out all of my toys for a new picture. Added quite a few bits to the collection since the last time I took a picture. Now all I need is a willing participant ;)

Obedience School

“Just Knowing” & Communication

I got an ask recently asking if I could write something about how doms seem to sometimes “instinctively know” things about their sub, and how communication plays into that. 

I thought it was a great point, and I had an experience that I’d been wanting to share in some way, that I thought would work well within that concept. Anyway, here goes…

I have shared experiences where CD reads my needs seamlessly. Those moments can feel almost magical and that makes me want to share them. I have occasionally heard from people who seem to think CD is nearly capable of reading my mind, as a result of posts like that. It’s not my intention to give that impression. 

There are occasional moments where I am shocked at how he knows things I didn’t say. I’ve also shared that sometimes those moments where he perfectly meets my needs are often the moments where I feel the most owned. That’s because him knowing and meeting my needs feels so intensely intimate, and so much of our D/s comes down to emotional intimacy.

He isn’t a mind reader, though. We have been together over a decade now, and he’s observant. I think that deserves a big mention, when discussing how he ‘just knows’ things about me. He notices my body language, and how I react to things. He learns a lot about me by simply paying close attention. This is really important to me. Him naturally watching me, noticing my mood and such, is a big way that he makes me feel loved. I couldn’t be with someone who wasn’t naturally drawn to try to learn me, and pay close attention to me. Just him being someone who pays attention is a huge part of how I feel loved. It shows me that he wants to know as much as he can about me, and that he wants to meet my needs. More than that, his desire to want to learn my needs period, matters. There are some people who just don’t wish to get that deep with their partner, they don’t care to know their partner like the back of their had. That would be a problem, for me, because I do want that level of intimacy. Part of how I knew that CD had that desire for deeper intimacy, was how he tried to learn what he could by observing me. 

At the same time, being mindful of your loved one’s body language, facial expressions and behaviors only goes so far. You can’t observe your way into knowing exactly what someone wants or needs. You just can’t. Certain things just have to be explicitly stated. While a good portion of our emotional intimacy comes from paying close attention to each other, more of it comes from our communication.

The truth is, there have been times where I’ve been frustrated that CD didn’t catch something. I’ve occasionally had the emotional reaction of almost feeling neglected because he didn’t notice something about me. And that? Is not a healthy reaction for me to have. That reaction is something I have to try to be conscious of, and I can’t allow myself to run away with those feelings. I have to recognize them and fight back against them. Because I can’t expect him to read my mind, or to pick up on everything, to ‘just know’ everything, or anything, really. If he isn’t aware of something, it is my responsibility to communicate. 

We were new to D/s in particular, we talked about our needs and wants all the time, often daily. Getting started with D/s requires really thorough communication so that you know the boundaries and limits of the dynamic, and so that you know what is expected of each of you. Even though we tried to hammer out our dynamic in advance, we found ourselves experiencing scenarios that we weren’t sure how they ‘should’ be handled with our D/s, because we couldn’t pre-plan our D/s for how to go about every possible scenario that life may throw at us. So whenever we experienced something new and didn’t know how to handle it, we’d have to discuss how we wanted to handle it. Or in there cases we’d handle a situation and then realize we wished it had been handled differently, and we’d discuss that and plan to do differently next time. 

After a while (many months?) it got to where we had the basics down and we didn’t need to talk about things as often anymore. We didn’t have to discuss it multiple times a week anymore, but perhaps a couple times a month was sufficient. Still, the frequency ebbs and flows. We go through phases, even now, 6 years in, of discussing our D/s more or less often. It mainly depends on whether we’re facing new things in life or making changes to our rules or the rest of our dynamic, or whether life is normal and our dynamic is unchanged. If we make changes, that means we’ll communicate about our D/s more often for a while, usually. Tons of what we know about each other and our needs are things we’ve learned through all that communication. Way more than we’ve learned by just observing each other. 

Our “meta-talks” (discussions about our D/s) are perhaps one of the areas that I don’t give enough attention to on this blog. They’re often very private feeling, so it’s hard to feel comfortable sharing much about them. 

A couple of months ago after a meta-talk, we came to the conclusion that it would be helpful for us to focus on making sure I feel very seen. It wasn’t that I had stopped feeling seen…but more that our current life circumstances were making me need to feel more seen than usual. Anyway, CD had me make him a list of things that made me feel seen, to share with him.

The things I shared on that list were all things he had done “naturally” before. So it was more about sharing with him what things he does that make me feel particularly seen. Still, I did over-think it, a little bit. I wondered if it would feel different for him to do these things for me after I shared them with him, rather than doing them purely instinctually, like he had in the past. Would it feel less genuine? Would I be able to absorb it and really effectively feel see if I suspected he was doing this for the purpose of making me feel seen? 

Early on, I did feel a bit bashful or self-conscious when I noticed him doing those things a little bit more often. I felt a bit insecure like “Oh, he just thinks he has to do that because I need to feel more seen.” and for some reason that cheapened it a little in my mind, and also made me feel a bit selfish or something. Worrying about being a burden on people is a deep seeded insecurity of mine that comes in up all sorts of ways. So it’s not surprising that my brain tried to twist this into ‘he just feels obligated to’. Even early on when I was feeling those insecurities, I was feeling seen, at the same time.  As more time went on though, those insecurities softened and I was able to recognize that these things were feeling fulfilling to him, too, which further eased my insecurities. 

This is just one example of how our direct communication has benefitted our D/s. When this type of thing occurs over the course of many years, I hope you can imagine how that can assist with creating those “he just knows” moments. 

I think a lot of good relationships have similar experiences with hesitating to share exactly what you want from your partner. The love is there, the good intent is there, but unless you tell your partner exactly what makes you feel the best…you can’t magically expect them to know. Yet many of us have this instinct that “I can’t tell them exactly how I’d like them to treat me, or it won’t be as ‘real’”. 

I think D/s often complicates this issue even farther. Subs hesitate to ask for ‘too much’ because they don’t want to be too needy, or to feel like they’re taking charge or telling their doms what to do. Which I think is a valid concern. In my view, the answer to that potential problem isn’t to avoid sharing what make you feel good. Instead, it’s just to be mindful of the way that you are communicating, so that you are sharing the knowledge of your needs or desires without telling them what to do. 

Communicating in great detail is a huge part of how we find the intimacy that we’re after with D/s. Understanding in detail what makes each other feel dominant and submissive does SO much to assist us with keeping our D/s on track, and to keep each other feeling loved and cared for. These deep, difficult, detailed discussions are also helpful to our D/s because they make me realize how safe our relationship is. That sense of security allows me to let go and be more submissive. 

As I said earlier, I understand that instinct that if you tell someone exactly what you want, and then they do it, your initial instinct may be to feel like it’s less meaningful when they do it. Like asking for it somehow ‘cheapened’ it. 

I think that is a largely misguided instinct, though. I think that if you tell someone what feels good to you, and they do it just to placate you or please you? You can tell they’re just phoning it in. And if you tell them what makes you feel good, and they do it because they enjoy making you feel good? You’ll feel that too. 

It’s similar to how starting D/s worked for us. When I first asked for it, I worried it would be something he did just for me. But once he found meaning in it himself? I could tell that our D/s was fulfilling for him, that it was giving him joy, and that he was really feeling the connection with me through this dynamic. It was just easy to see that he was really ‘feeling it’. A similar thing can happen with “smaller” things such as specific acts of love, care or service. 

10  things a Dom expects a sub to know without being told

1. He needs to be the priority. Make him your priority regardless of how horny you are. A true Dom/sub relationship extends beyond sex into all other aspects of the partnership.

2. He has emotions and needs them acknowledged. The internet (and Tumblr is especially egregious in this regard) has created the toxic stereotype of the Dominant as this calm, cold, unemotional Olympian figure who is always as in charge of himself as he is of his submissive. Accept that your Dominant is human, and it is only normal, and that he will occasionally have a moment of weakness, or self-doubt, or — horrors! — shedding a tear.

3. Know him better than others. If your Dominant is having emotional difficulties, or even something as “insignificant” as a bad day at work, you should be sensitive to that, just as he needs to do likewise for you. It’s a mutually-caring relationship after all.

4. Let him control things (including you). That is his responsibility. Yours is to obey.

5. Abide by the rules. Your Dominant constructs various rules, tasks, rituals, etc, for a purpose. That purpose may not always be obvious to you. It doesn’t have to be. Trust that he knows what he’s doing. If you’re not willing to put in the work, then you should do some soul-searching and evaluate how deep (or even genuine) your submission really is.

6. Remember that he is yours. This is always reciprocal. Just as he expects your total devotion and commitment and fidelity, you have the right to expect those things from him. To be clear, this is not the same as taking your Dominant for granted. Just as he has to earn those things from you every day, so you also have to earn them from him every day.

7. Appreciate the work he puts into you, and let him know that you appreciate it. Being a dominant (especially in a day-to-day rather than sporadic relationship) is hard work. Let him know how much it means to you that he considers you worthy of all that work and direction and energy.

8. Be mindful of your respective positions in the D/s relationship. He is your Dominant. Can you be affectionately playful and impish? Yes; any Dominant who doesn’t  relish such from his submissive on occasion has some significant self-confidence issues. Sarcastic or willfully bratty? No way.

9. Give the same respect you get. If he shows you that, despite the way your relationship might look to the vanillas, he holds you in the highest respect, then return that  respect. If you come to the conclusion that he does not hold you in the highest respect, you might want to reevaluate your relationship and possibly move on.

10. Above all else: he expects your submission to be whole and complete and without reservation, save for those things that the two of you negotiate as equals before you offer him your submission (and renegotiate from time to time as the relationship evolves). You don’t get to submit just when you’re in the mood. There are no half-measures.

And on the flipside

10 things a sub expects a Dom to know…without being told

1. She needs to be the priority. She doesn’t want to compete with others. If every woman is hot, she’ll find it hard to stand out….and she needs to stand out.

2. She has emotions and needs them acknowledged. Probably more than you bargained for.

3. She needs you to know her better than others do….if her friends notice she was in a slump, you should notice first.

4. There are some things some of us just can’t physically do…don’t expect her to do something just because your last sub could or you’ve seen another sub do it. Not every sub can take a dick all the way down her throat.

5. Don’t compare her. She’s her own individual. She’s unique. That’s probably why you chose her in the first place. She may not be the hottest sub or have pics of her pink parts spread out for the world to see. But she goes out of her way to be the best in your eyes. Show her that she is.

6. Let her control things. ( wait, don’t let your heads explode here). If you’ve delegated certain chores to her…give her the control to do them. If they are getting done, does it really matter that they weren’t done in the exact way you would’ve done them?

7. Enforce the rules. All the time. Not just when it makes you feel Domly. After all, she’s in this D/s relationship because she needs the structure of the rules. She might sigh or grumble… but rules are partly why she’s here.

8. Remind her she’s yours. Every day. Even if you haven’t collared her, she’s given herself to you. She wants to hear and see that you own her. (Example: a hand full of hair while firmly kissing her will remind her of that…and get her wet in the process ;). )

9. Appreciate the submission she gives you. It takes more for some to submit than just the act of doing what they are told. She might find that she has to submit herself every day.

10. Be hers. Just as she is yours. Let her know that you aren’t just a Dom…you are HER Dom.

These are two separate blog posting yet fitting for one. That way everyone that needs it has both  to understand both sides of the coin. 

Whored Out Roullette Game

For this game you ideally need 4 different coloured dice (but you can use the same dice and roll four times if you wish)

If you have 4 coloured dice assign each colour a number from 1 to 4 Roll all dice at once, if not roll 1 dice 4 times and right down the numbers in order they are rolled.

Dice 1: Whored Out Act to Perform

1 = Blow Job

2 = Blow Job and Fucked

3 = Blow Job and Ass Fucked

4 = Face Fucked and Fucked

5 = Face Fucked and Ass Fucked

6 = Sex Slave - You’re is fucktoy

Dice 2: How you Dress

1 = Black Bra, Sheer Blouse, Skirt, Stockings and Heels

2 = Mini Dress

3 = Mini Skirt, Crop Top and Heels

4 = Micro Dress and Heels

5 = Micro Skirt, Boob Tube and Heels

6 = Cupless Bra, Thong, Stockings and Heels

Dice 3: The Twist

1 = Do Task with 2 clients together

2 = Let him take photos

3 = Let Client invite friends

4 = Client can whore you out to someone (they roll for you)

5 = Whore yourself out 5 more times (re-roll each time)

6 = Whore yourself out 10 more times (re-roll each time)

Dice 4: What you charge

1 = £50

2 = £30

3 = £20

4 = £10

5 = £5

6 = £1

Special Rules:

If you roll a double add the number to all rolls.

If you roll a triple all rolls become 5’s

If you roll a quadruple all rolls become 6’s

Who wants to roll for me?

Please reblog with a photo of your rolls.

Femdom Punishment Ideas...

By Mistress Kylie,

This post contains all of the ideas I have been able to come up with or find on the internet for female-dominant, male-submissive scenes…

You’ll probably notice that a lot of the ideas are designed for use over many days and are associated with orgasm control. This theme emerged over time because orgasm control is so effective at heightening male desire. We use this list in a very simple framework when setting up scenes. First she picks one or more of the ideas below (either by hand or randomly) and makes rules and tasks out of them. Then, after a few days of suffering through them and pushing me to peak sensitivity, the frequency of rules and tasks increases (over a weekend, for example) and she adapts punishments from the list (or comes up with them on her own) to achieve a good, intense session.

So anyway, I hope you enjoy them and they inspire ideas of your own! Please note, though, that we haven’t tried all of them. Some of them may not be practical.

1) Hold Pennies Against the Wall

This task is very hard: have him hold pennies against the wall using only his fingertips — one penny per finger. Depending on how you position his arms, this can be easy or extremely difficult. Arms spread wide apart forces him to get his face very close to the wall and will tire his arms quickly. Same with his hands being very high up.

For every penny that drops, punish him. Keep the punishments severe enough that he really fears dropping a penny.

You can also make him hold a penny against the wall using his erect cock. This will force him to keep himself hard.

2) Controlled Orgasms

Rules that control his orgasms are the most effective and psychologically impactful rules you can impose. These rules also become good excuses for torment and punishment. The mix of wanting to orgasm and facing big punishments feels very exciting.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He has to earn orgasms –> After you have had five orgasms, he gets one. –> He chooses to undergo a punishment or humiliation in order to flip a coin. Heads grants him an orgasm. Tails gets him another punishment or humiliation –> He earns points toward his next orgasm by acting the role of the “perfect slave.” These can only be earned by doing things for you without being asked, and acting the part perfectly. 20 points per orgasm.

He must ask permission prior to orgasm.

He is allowed to orgasm, but doing so carries an automatic set of punishments or humiliations.

Every time he orgasms, he owes you a favor.

You pretend to believe that he will take any opportunity to have an orgasm, and go to great lengths to prevent it (chastity belt, lots of restraints, careful supervision).

After every orgasm, he must collect his semen and do something embarrassing with it.

Come up with a “training regimen” to teach him to resist orgasm. He wears a chastity belt until he can resist your best efforts to get him to come while you reach two or three orgasms.

He is forbidden to clean up his own semen if it lands on him.

He gets a very short window every day to bring himself to orgasm while you watch. The chastity belt goes back on at the end whether he succeeds or not.

He gets a set limit of orgasms per week, which he can trade like currency. (His limit could be one. Or one every two weeks. Just because he can trade doesn’t mean he needs a lot of them.)

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Instead of a promised orgasm, he has to edge instead and thank you at the end as if he had an orgasm.

Lengthen the time he has to wear the chastity belt.

Treat pre-cum as orgasms for punishment purposes.

Warn him about a severe punishment if he orgasms, then tie him down and ride him until he does.

During the time when he is permitted to orgasm, position his body so that he can’t prevent himself from coming on himself.–>Make him put his knees on the wall behind him so that his cock points toward his face

If you are on top and he comes, keep going. The sensory overload is really overpowering. Even though it feels great, it’s a good “mean” thing to do to him.

Punishment Ideas

Remember that if your slave just had an orgasm without permission, he’s less in the mood than he was before. So instead of a regular punishment, pick one that is more severe, and execute it after he’s back in the mood (possibly the next day).

Make him write out a coupon for a certain number of days spent in a chastity belt. Spend it whenever you like. If he picks a number that is lower than what you picked, make him choose again and double his next result. (You can choose to have him give you a number of orgasms instead of a number of days.)

If he comes inside of you, sit on his chest while his semen drains out of you. Tie him up until it dries.

Chain a heavy weight to his chastity belt for a while, giving him something he either has to drag by his balls or deal with as he does other tasks for you.

3) Edging

Edging is the practice of bringing someone very close to the point of orgasm and then baking off. It’s usually done repeatedly, which both increases sexual need and results in the closest thing to multiple orgasms for a man. You can force your Slave to edge himself a few times to increase his sexual need. Or, you can do it to him and punish him if he orgasms. This will force him to resist orgasm.

4) Must Volunteer Information

This is similar to the “Must Not Lie” rule, but forces him to give you extra details whenever he’s answering a question. It can be very useful, because he has to actively think about what other secrets he can divulge. Use it to force him to keep you aware of the things he’s thinking about.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He must tell you when he’s horny

He must go into detail about what he wants sexually and why

Whenever he’s asked a question, he has to answer it, and then say “Also…” and add more details.

He must try to help you come up with more effective punishments, more humiliating tasks, and tell you how he might try to get out of obeying you

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Since you can’t read his mind, there’s no way to know if he’s holding something back. Rely on punishments if you find out that he didn’t tell you something.

Punishment Ideas

This is a rule that focuses on helplessness and humiliation. It’s also oral, since he has to tell you things. If you catch him leaving something out, punish him accordingly.

Make him write out several punishments and rank them according to desirability. Pick one or more for him to go through.

Make him tell you the most humiliating punishment he can think of. If he disobeys again, he has to go through with it.

Take away his right to speak for a while. Use a ball gag or tape if necessary.

Tell him to apologize. Don’t accept his apology until he recommends a good physical punishment or humiliation for you to employ.

5) Must Keep Legs Spread

Here is a very simple rule that is designed to keep things awkward for him and emphasize that his cock and balls belong to you. Usually the rule is that his legs can’t touch his cock or balls while you are in the room. Tell him that you want to see his balls hanging down.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He must keep his legs spread whenever you are within reach of his genitals

He must spread his legs on command

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He must keep his legs spread at all times, just in case.

Tie his legs up by the knees and spread them out. Then tease him by doing things to him that would make him want to close his legs

Punishment Ideas

Breaking this rule is all about not giving you access to his cock and balls, or about him not putting them on display for you. Punish him accordingly.

Tie his ankles to his wrists. Then tie his elbows to his knees. Last, pull his cock and balls behind his legs and tie his legs together so that they are trapped down by his butt. Now he gets to keep his legs closed, but you have full access to the genitals. Torture them for a while until he becomes more compliant.

Since he won’t put his genitals on display on his own, take away all his clothes and tie him up in a full-body rope harness. That way he can stay on display for you until you get tired of him.

6) Must Obey

Make it unconditional that he has to obey you, or anyone you specify, and punish him if he doesn’t do it promptly or well. This is one of those rules that you’ll talk about a lot, bringing it up to him to remind him that he doesn’t have a choice (or that you’ll punish him severely) if he doesn’t obey.

Ideas for Normal Situations

Have him acknowledge every command with “yes ma’am,” “yes, mistress,” or similar.

Give him a time limit to obey. For example, he might get punished for not jumping to do what you say within three seconds.

If he’s being forced to obey someone else, have him ask that person to give you an evaluation of how well he did.

Test him by giving him a list of things to do while you are away. Demand proof that he did them.

Come up with a word you can use to tell him that you are giving him an order while he’s in public so that others aren’t aware that you’re giving him a command to obey.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Dramatically increase the number of things he has to do so that he’s kept very busy

Use toys, locks, and complicated tasks to make obeying very hard, such as –> Blindfolding him, then telling him to get a specific item that can only be identified by sight –> Chaining up his hands and then giving him something to type (with his tongue?) –> Give him an enema, and tell him he can’t release it until a task is done.

Give him tedious tasks, like writing out a sentence fifty times.

Punishment Ideas

Failure to obey you should carry the harshest punishments. The point of this game is to use punishments to force him to obey you. Therefore, the punishments have to be intense enough that doing humiliating and painful tasks is less miserable than going through with the punishments. Generally, you want to pick very painful or very humiliating punishments for this kind of error. Try to get him to call out in pain several times. He’s got a safe-word if you go too far.

Chain him up so he is completely immobile, then leave him like that for a while, maybe periodically torturing him.

Take away a sense or a privilege for a long time, such as use of his hands for 24 hours.

Add a couple extra rules to his list of rules

Make him pick a few punishments he would rather not be forced to undergo and then draw one randomly

Add a few days of slavery to his sentence

7) Must Become Hard

With this rule, the slave must force himself to become hard. This usually carries a time-limit, or is just a way for you to keep his hands on his cock, constantly fumbling with it. This has more to do with him having to make himself hard with you watching than it does with him getting hard. He is putting himself on display. Keep that in mind and see if you can think of ways to change things up.

Consider making him exaggerate the process so that it’s extra disruptive. Some ideas are to have him stretch out his cock, or use both hands, or kneel until it’s done.

This rule can be fun if he can’t use his hands to make himself hard. He’ll be left humping you or the furniture to comply.

Ideas for Normal Situations

When Mistress enters the room, slave has a certain amount of time to make himself hard.

On a schedule, such as once every three hours, slave has to make himself hard and present his cock for your inspection. If it’s not hard enough, or if it offends you in any way, he can be punished.

When seeing something arbitrary, such as a high heel, he has to become hard –> You might say, “You like skirts so much? Well, you’re going to show it!” And have him make himself hard every time he sees one on TV.

Upon hearing an arbitrary word, such as “songbird,” he has to make himself hard.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Instead of just making himself hard once, he has to become hard, become soft, and become hard again –> Add a time-limit to complete this task to make it harder.

Make it more uncomfortable for him by keeping him from freeing his cock from his clothes or adjusting it while it’s getting hard.

Forbid him to use his hands to make himself hard or simply tie his hands out of reach of his cock. This will make it much tougher, but still possible.

Make him stay hard for five minutes before he can let go of his cock or stop stimulating it.

Punishment Ideas

If he fails to become hard for you in time (or if he forgets), change the rule so that he isn’t allowed to become hard for a day. See if you can catch him breaking that rule and slap a chastity belt on him.

The next time he has to be hard on command, put him in a lot of pain by slapping at his balls with a ruler or squeezing them (or similar) while he is trying to get hard.

Make him get hard without physical contact on his cock of any kind. (This might be very difficult.) Tie him up to be sure that he can’t move, of course.

8) Must Use Specific Names

This is a rule in every slave contract: that he must refer to you by a name of your choice. You can extend this to involve other women or other people. Common examples are:

Ma’am

Mistress

My Lady

Goddess

Madam

Ideas for Normal Situations

He isn’t allowed to use your name.

He has to answer “yes, <special name>” whenever you give a command

Must call other men and women “sir” or “ma’am,” even if he knows their names.

Must be sure to state your special name before asking any question

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Once again, this rule is so common that it’s almost always in a contract. I can’t think of tougher ways to implement it.

Punishment Ideas

This rule is a vocal one, so punishments can involve the mouth or speech. But don’t let that stop you from popping him in the testicles for forgetting to say your name before a question. Just be sure to catch him every time.

Make him wear a ball gag for thirty minutes every time he forgets

Tape his mouth shut when he forgets

Make him eat or drink something (like alcohol?) every time he messes up.

Place a clothes pin on his tongue for a while

Make him hold something with his mouth

9) Must Kiss

Slave must kiss some part of Mistress under some conditions. Type of kiss, duration, and number of kisses are up to you. You could, for example, make him practice kissing until he gets it exactly right.

Body Parts to Kiss

Vagina

Ass

Feet

Hand

Mouth

Ideas for Normal Situations

You can assign different body parts to kiss under different situations. If he forgets or gets one wrong, he gets punished. For example –> He must kiss a chosen body part when you enter the room –> He must kiss your clitoris after you orgasm –> When Waking –> Before Bed –> While showering, he must constantly kiss your vagina –> When seeing something arbitrary, such as a high heel –> Upon hearing an arbitrary word, such as “songbird.”

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He must practice kissing the chosen body part. The more disobedient he has been, the longer he has to practice.

Instead of a simple kiss, you can make a complicated series of kisses that he has to get right every time.

You can put a blindfold on him before he kisses. If he misses the spot, he gets punished.

Punishment Ideas

Kissing is an oral act, so you might want punishments to involve the mouth. Here are some ideas.

Leave him in a ball gag for a period of time for every mistake he makes with this rule.

Force him to wear bright red lipstick and gloss (make his lips kissable) to remind him what his duty is.

Take away the use of his hands (using ropes or chains) and let him use his mouth as hands for a while. When he has had enough, give him a test to see if he has learned his lesson.

10) Must Wear Collar and/or Cuffs

You require your slave to wear a collar, wrist cuffs, or ankle cuffs, or any combination both as a symbol that you own him and so that you can quickly restrain him at any time.

Since the collar and cuffs can’t be ignored, it will force him to remember the situation he’s in. You might want to avoid making him wear a collar while he sleeps, but that is the only one you need to be careful about. Cuffs while sleeping are just fine.

Ideas for Normal Situations

When he gets up or gets home from work, he must lock a collar and cuffs on himself. Only you can unlock them.

He has to lock chains that hang freely from his collar and/or cuffs.

He has to sleep with wrist and/or leg cuffs on.

He has to lock himself to the bed when he goes to sleep.

He has to lock something embarrassing to his collar.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Not only does he have to lock cuffs on himself when he gets home, he has to lock his wrists together and his ankles together. You unlock him when you get home or by telling him where the key is by phone.

He must lock something very heavy to his ankle cuff. Like a locked bag of bricks, or a suitcase full of heavy items.

Make him lock himself to the toilet or to some other immovable object by running a chain behind it.

Punishment Ideas

Usually, the punishment comes from him unlocking the cuffs ahead of schedule. Sometimes this is necessary for safety or for other reasons (like a friend comes by), but you can still punish him for it. Simple restraint is perfect for that.

Run a rope or chain over a beam in the roof and raise his wrists as high as possible, maybe even making him stand on his toes. Tie it off so that he has to stand like that. Torture as desired. He won’t be able to stop you.

Before he goes to bed, make him wear short chains that either link his wrists, his ankles, or link a wrist to an ankle. You can also lock his wrists to a bondage belt.

Tie him in the frogtie and the chicken-wing tie at the same time. Torture him, make him walk on his knees and elbows, or just leave him stuck on the ground for a while.

Tie him spread-eagled on the bed. Use your imagination after that.

11) Flexibility, Strength, and Weight

I’ve combined three rules into one here. You can force him to reach (or maintain) a specific weight, achieve a certain degree of flexibility, or force him to gain strength. All of these require a test after a long period of time to see if he meets the goal. Failure needs to have a significant-enough punishment that it will push him to exercise and stretch for so many days to try to reach the goal.

It also gives you a convenient way to punish him in a way that will hurt for a long time. You can force him to do 100 situps, for example, and his ab muscles will ache for days. However, this can interfere with other games where you are pushing his body to its limits.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He has to lose a certain number of pounds by a certain date.

He has to become flexible enough to perform yoga moves of your choosing

He must become strong enough to hold something heavy for a period of time

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Force him to exercise in a tedious and very challenging way, such as crawling to every room in the house fifty times.

Force him to exercise until he is too exhausted to stop you from overpowering him

Punishment Ideas

These rules require him to exercise so often and for so long that you need to have punishments that will motivate him to work through the pain and boringness of exercise over a period of weeks. Pick punishments that make him pale, or that are worse than the exercise itself.

Add a period of slavery for every pound he fails to lose by the deadline, maybe a week per pound.

Put together a list of extreme hard labor that he must do if he fails to make his goal. Make him do the work naked, in chains, or while wearing uncomfortable toys like a large butt-plug.

12) May Not Flinch

Slave is punished for flinching. Pulling away counts as resistance, just like saying “no.” You have free reign over the slave’s body. You can even make him act like he is happy when you touch him. But he can never show you the disrespect of moving away when you want to touch him.

Ideas for Normal Situations

Once he realizes what you’re reaching for, he must try hard to put that body part in your easy reach, either by moving closer, removing clothes, or assuming an agreed-upon position (like putting his hands behind his head).

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Add a line in your notes or itinerary to try to get him to flinch a certain number of times each day. Once he passes the test, this rule can be dropped. But be convincing!

Tie his hands behind his back, and tie those ropes around his balls. Then try to get him to flinch. If he moves, he will yank on his balls. Train him to hold very still by trying to get him to flinch.

Add extra physical punishments or humiliation if you catch him flinching. (Two punishments instead of one, etc.)

Punishment Ideas

Tie his hands and legs very securely so that he can’t flinch. Then give him several reasons to flinch while he’s unable to. That way, he can tell the difference between when it is appropriate to flinch and when it isn’t.

Tie or wrap his hands (which are primarily used to protect body parts) in very awkward orientations so that they are not only useless, but uncomfortable or awkward. For example, tape his thumbs together and secure them to the back of his collar with a short rope.

13) May not Say a certain word

This is both a teasing rule and a very serious one. Consider these two situations:

He is not allowed to say “no” to anyone.

He is not allowed to say the word “is.”

In the first example, you make it clear that he’s expected to do whatever anyone asks. This is a straight-forward and common rule.

In the second example, you pick a common word and wait for him to forget the rule, giving you frequent opportunities to punish him.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He may not use the word “no.”

He may not use personal pronouns (me, my, our) and instead has to substitute “the slave” for them.

He may not speak unless addressed by someone (asked a question, etc.)

You force him to use an embarrassing word for his cock.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He has a limit of words (or sentences) that he can say, after which he must be absolutely silent. (If you have a hard time keeping track, just count the number of times he starts talking.

He may only speak while wearing a gag or with something held in his mouth.

Punishment Ideas

This is simple: if he speaks out of turn, focus on oral punishments. Bad tastes, gags, extremely hot foods, and so on.

Gag him for a while, possibly sacrificing a meal.

Make him hold something in his mouth. (Your freshly-worn panties, a jalapeno, or a piece of soap.

Make him conduct a complicated task with his mouth (such as sorting the sex toys, sorting your panties by color, and so on.

Thanks to Mistress Kylie, Her slave & femaledomination

Chastity Words of Encouragement

Chastity…

If Your husband/boyfriend or special gurl or sissy has asked You lock him in chastity, You may think he is asking you to do some sexually perverted, kinky, thing that You don’t understand and don’t want to understand because it is sick and perverted. The fact is, he is not sick and perverted, he just wants to have fun, sexually.

There was a time in Your marriage when sex was fun and exciting for You, too. Wasn’t there? He just wants to get that back again. He is not asking You to do anything that is difficult, or perverted. He is asking You to play a game with him. A sexual game in which You control when and how he has sex. That’s all. So give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much fun You, Yourself, can have

Chastity is an amazing fetish. Most people think it’s some kind of punishment or chore, but it isn’t. The feelings you receive from abstaining from orgasm are just sublime. Guys feel aroused right up until the point where they orgasm, then everything is reset to zero after orgasm they’re no longer turned on and in order to become even remotely aroused they have to wait again for the feelings to kick in.

Well, what if they didn’t orgasm. What if they didn’t masturbate every evening? What if they abstained from orgasms altogether? Would the feelings of arousal increase and increase? Yes. Yes they would. Which is why chastity is an immensely popular fetish.

Chastity popularity

It is such an intimate act to show trust in his partner for a man to hand over the key to his “crown jewels“ and to allow him to be locked up, to await “HER” pleasure. It is quite surprising that so many people have dabbled with the man wearing a chastity device, and they are the second most often bought sex toys after vibrators.

Chastity - A Joint Decision

For chastity to work well it has to be a joint decision. If you’re both eager to try chastity then the belt or device you choose should also appeal to your wife. It’s no good you buying an expensive belt and she hates the sight of it.

Some women find the transparency of the CB-6000, CB-6000s or the Curve nicely displays the enslaved penis, many would-be keyholders like the quality and hygiene of a stainless steel device. Other women like the thought of the traditional Florentine style belts believing they are more secure.

Others initially prefer to go for something like the Stallion Guard as a low cost device to experiment with before deciding on a more secure belt or cage. There are keyholders who like to allow and see the penis fully erect whilst it’s encased, belts and devices most suited to this concept, known as “penile negation”, include the Samurai and Caterpillar cock cages from Mr S. Neither of these 2 devices can be considered long term wear, however, they’re an ideal purchase as an additional chastity device to your collection, and allow your keyholder the opportunity to employ different techniques of teasing.

Some keyholders love these devices because they relish the sight of a fully erect, straining cock unable to escape.

Chastity and Masturbation

All men, given the ability, masturbate and way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for him to control and even more difficult to part with. Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn’t seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women.

However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. It is not the goal for him to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen, not routinely but it will happen because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases he will divert that energy towards pleasing you.

Your being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings, he will adore you, love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you’re happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.

This isn’t as kinky as it sounds

If your sex life to date has been restricted to intercourse and perhaps mutual masturbation, chastity play can sound like something pretty weird. It isn’t. Nothing has to change about how you make love; what changes is when. The partner who wears the chastity belt has given the partner who has the “key” the ability to decide when sex can take place. Since most chastity devices effectively prevent masturbation, it means one partner gives the other control of all orgasms. This can be a great deal of fun for both people.

Chastity play allows you to take sex out of the bedroom in a subtle way that only the two of you will know. For example, if a woman has her male partner locked up, they can agree on “rules” he should follow, such as “he must always stand when she enters the room.” If when they are out with friends he forgets, she can smile and hold some fingers up and he will know he stays locked up that many more days until he can get release.

If you don’t think this is incredibly hot to both partners, just try it! You won’t believe how exciting a dull relationship can become overnight. Take a few minutes and use your imagination. Fun, huh?

Chastity Devices

Chastity devices have been used throughout the ages in order to prevent sexual intercourse. Classically, chastity has been forced upon someone using a belt type mechanic, but in recent times, more concealable and localized devices are able to be used in order to prevent the ability to touch and interact with sexual organs. In addition to the modern interpretation of how to perform chastity, a sexual fetish has developed. Individuals now enjoy the prospect of being locked up and unable to perform sexual activities unless the other person who’s chastised them allows it.

Chastity and Confinement for Men

Chastity for men is the most common form, with blocks of specially formed plastic being placed around the penis with a small lock attached for keeping it closed. Some male chastity devices make it impossible or highly painful to experience an erection, aiding the experience of being denied sexual pleasure. One major element of chastity is the understanding that eventually, the device will be removed. The sexual fetish is undesirable if the wearer believes that they will never be allowed to experience an orgasm again. As expected, chastity is an exchange of a power dynamic, with one person assuming the role of being in charge and the other being submissive and completely subject to the will of the other person.

Chastity for couples

Male chastity is not just for men, nor is it just for women who want to control their men. Male chastity is for couples! Both the submissive male and his partner stand to gain from incorporating male chastity into the relationship. The relationship as a whole stands a great deal to gain as well.

Taking control of one small aspect of your relationship - The sex. By utilizing a chastity device, you are taking the first step toward controlling your partner. He may or may not be keen on the idea. If this is your idea, you may have to incorporate a little tease and denial to get what you want….it will work.

If you can both agree to give male chastity a chance, then be realistic about it. Start out slow and easy. Don’t plan on more than a month or even a week for a trial period. Remember, this is just a trial period. If you don’t like it, don’t get any enjoyment from it, don’t see how it can improve your relationship, then you can always quit.

Couple chastity

If you’re in a committed relationship, but you want to really turn up the heat in your sex play, then chastity could be the answer for you. Many couples engage in chastity as a means of getting back the desire they felt in the early days of their relationship, when they couldn’t wait to have sex, and it lasted for hours not minutes. A time when they were always on each other’s mind.

Chastity is also a choice for many couples when the man has been unfaithful, or has been caught masturbating to internet porn. He may choose chastity as a way to demonstrate his commitment, reassure his partner, and enhance their relationship. This is a precious pledge for any man, and the thought of this alone can be incredibly arousing for both partners.

There is no doubt about it, chastity play results in superior sexual satisfaction! Trying to earn a release, the bottom will be much more attentive to his partner’s needs. Without being distracted by his own selfish wants, his sole focus is pleasuring his Keyholder. He will demonstrate his ability and affection to his partner, going above and beyond in the hope of an ultimate ‘release’.. Remember; the couple that plays together stays together!

Chastity and relantionship

There is no one right way to practice chastity, but most agree that a man who practices chastity is expressing profound respect for their partner and women generally. Chastity is a challenge well worth undertaking because it can help lead to a transformation of a man’s relationship with his partner. Almost every account of a chastity regimen notes that the man becomes much more attentive to the needs of his partner, serving her better both sexually and in a myriad of other ways that are pleasing to her. The many religious traditions that use chastity/abstinence as a key element of their spiritual practice and service orientation are definitely onto something..

Primary benefits of enforced male

1. It prevents him from masturbating. Male masturbation is a filthy habit. It’s addictive, selfish, and disrespectful to women. Chronic masturbation has the effect of substantially diminishing a man’s natural sexual desire for his wife of girlfriend. It unfortunately teaches him that his orgasm is primary, and hers is secondary.

2. Because he can’t even get an erection without her permission, it instantly changes the dynamics of the relationship.

3. It keeps his sexual focus and energy on his wife or girlfriend.

4. It will substantially increase his desire to orally service his wife or girlfriend.

5. If he’s never been an ass-eater, after having his penis locked up for a few weeks, he will be.

6. It serves as a constant reminder to him of her authority.

7. Because it makes his orgasms entirely dependent on her generosity, it positively incentives him to honor her, respect her, and motivates him to please.

8. It gives him the time and opportunity to substantially improve and perfect his oral skills.

9. It reinforces the idea that pussy is a precious gift that must be earned, and is to be savored and appreciated on those rare occasions when he does get it.

10. It teaches him that sexual activity with his wife or girlfriend doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with his penis.

11. It deepens his submission to her, and will cause him to worship the ground she walks on.

12. It will significantly improve his attitude, and make him more generous, caring, kind, respectful, and loving. It will help soften the sharper edges of his me-first masculinity. It will make him more of a listener than a talker.

13. It helps prepares him for the eventuality of anal penetration, and getting the strap-on. Because his penis isn’t being sexually stimulated, it has the effect of gradually turning other parts of his body into erogenous zones, particularly his anus and his prostate. With patience and persistence, he can be trained to orgasm from stimulation in that region via your finger, or the strap-on.

14. If his orgasms are consistently controlled and severely restricted, he will eventually get to the point where he will do just about anything to cum. You’ll be amazed by what he’ll do for you.

Chastity -  power to the woman

This voluntary act in which the man shows his trust and hands over the key to his most precious possessions to her who will then decide when he is to be released. This is an action which gives enormous power to the woman in a relationship, or the supervisor on our course and it is a gift from him to her.

It is a sexual act which frees him from the ability to pleasure himself and frees him to learn how to please his partner and thus be allowed pleasure himself.

It sounds from this description a strange and “kinky “activity, but surprisingly the approach has wide acceptance as a method to improve male performance and pleasure.

The Mental Game of Chastity

The power exchange exists in the realm of the minds so to the submissive male, being denied can provide him with more mental pleasure and more mental fulfillment than a physical orgasm.

The aroused and denied male will spend more time in subspace and thus his mind will be on a mental sphere where the female rules supreme in his life and he is much more eager to serve the female.

The mental stimulation should touch a man’s psychological triggers, which will stimulate him sexually. It is that mental stimulation that causes an intense power exchange and that can make sex more pleasurable for the woman both physically and mentally while at the same time fulfilling the male need to be dominated.

Chastity and BDSM

Chastity is a fantastic pawn in the BDSM game. It is a great tool for tease and denial, and can be implemented as an incredibly effective punishment/reward scheme. Dominants that have never fully engaged in chastity play, will have almost certainly at some point employed a ‘permission to cum?’ policy. So, what’s the difference? Well chastity play takes this concept one step further and gives the Key Holder full control over their slave’s orgasms. Many people who love to engage in BDSM have not yet discovered the joys of chastity

Locked in Chastity for BDSM

Key Holder is a term used to describe the dominant woman in a male chastity agreement. Many couples are into BDSM and male chastity is one of the many methods that these women use to dominate their men. Some men are more turned on the more they are ordered around.

The woman will tease the man while he has a male chastity device on and she is the only one who has the key to open it and award him with a release. Discuss it with your partner in detail and decide if you want your chastity to be long term or short term.

If you are just starting out, you should ease into it before you commit to being locked in. If you enter into it before you are ready it will likely prolong the process.

“be careful what you wish for”

There is an old saying among those wives who adopted a chastity lifestyle because their husbands encouraged them…”be careful what you wish for”.

If some of the husbands were given a choice to go back to their old ways they would, but none of the wives would.

Deep down the caged men are happier because they wanted to be sexually controlled by their wives and now they are. Their new reality is often much different than their original fantasy because it is now your fantasy not his.

I wounder if I  bend like this

HOW TO SUCK DICK

If you simply wanted to get a guy off as quickly as possible, all you need to do is lock your lips at the base of his cock and suction them up and down the bottom ¾ of his shaft at a quick, steady pace while pressing your flattened tongue against the underside of his dick. Make sure you are applying pressure with both your lips AND tongue. Keeping your tongue engaged at all times is key. I try to keep mine moving at all times. This is how you get 90% of guys off. It helps me keep from gagging to hold his cock steady at the base and bring my lips down to meet my fingers. You can do this very slowly for a more intense feeling, but make sure you move at a steady rhythm. Some guys like it faster or slower; you may have to ask, or more likely, he’ll tell you. This is your power move, the one that is actually going to bring him to orgasm. A true hooker blowjob needs only this one move; if scientists were to create a blowjob machine, this is what it would do. The other moves I’m going to teach you are artistic flourishes; you use them to add flair and style to your blowjob or to slow down the action a little. SALIVA Don’t be afraid to just slobber all over his love muscle. It should be as wet and sloppy as possible, especially during your power move. A good blowjob makes loud, gross suction-y noises. When I’m done, I’m usually covered in my own drool and leave a wet spot on the bed. USING YOUR HANDS If his dick is too big for you to take the whole thing in your mouth, you’ll need to use your hand too. Slobber all over his cock for awhile first so your hand will slide easily up and down instead of just catching on his dry skin. The most important hand move is the twister. When you slide your hand up his shaft, twist your wrist. A twisting motion gets you into a smoother rhythm than the straight up and down. Slide your hand up and down on the base of his cock in conjunction with your mouth moving up and down on the rest of it. The hard part is finding the correct grip: again you may want his guidance. Another good trick is to wrap your hand around the top of his cock and put your mouth over your hand. Then slide your hand down the shaft and your mouth down on top of it in a fluid motion until your hand meets the base of his cock. It will feel like you’re sliding your mouth all the way down him even if you can’t. It’s times like these I wish I could draw; I’d make little diagrams. THE BALLS I usually start out by paying some attention to the balls. There are three basic ball moves: you can put them in your mouth and suck them (LIGHTLY), lick them with a flattened cow tongue, or tense your tongue into a point and run the tip of your tongue all over them. I alternate between all three. Sometimes I lift them up and lick underneath his balls. Also, if you cup them while you are entering the home stretch, you’ll be able to tell he’s about to cum as they get higher and tighter. THE HEAD My next move is usually to give his shaft several long licks from base to tip. This is the ice cream cone move; it looks sexy, it’s a nice touch, but it’s not going to make anybody cum. While conducting the power move, I come up from time to time to give the head a little attention: sucking on it, moving my tongue in a circle around it, and flicking my tongue over that spot on the underside that all the sex websites tell you is el sensitivo. In my experience, guys don’t really go that wild over attention to that spot, but these are just flourishes anyway. I tend to get a bit wrapped up in my work that I forget to make eye contact, so head action is a great time to look up at him with puppy dog eyes and his cock in your mouth. FACE SLAPPING I mentioned this in my tips to get him to cum faster, but at least once during the beej, I usually pop his dick out of my mouth and slap it against my tongue or face, then look at him while I rub his cock against my cheeks and lips. Guys are visual, this is just a little something dirty for him to look at. DEEP THROAT I can’t really teach you how to deep throat, that’s between you and your gag reflex. The important thing, I think, is to make an effort to take him in as deep as you can, even if it’s only for a few seconds. It’s hard to explain exactly how I do this: try concentrating on relaxing your throat and jaw. As I mentioned before, it helps me to steady his cock with my hand when I go deep, and breathing in instead of just holding your breath also helps abate that “gonna puke” feeling. THE BIG FINALE When you’re ready to finish him off, go into the power move and don’t vary your pace for anything. If you’re cupping his balls, you’ll often be able to tell when he’s about to cum as they tighten up. I speed up a little bit at the end, and when I feel him start to come I push my head down as deep as it will go and suck slowly and intensely at the base, letting his cum just shoot down my throat.

Femdom Punishment Ideas...

By Mistress Kylie,

This post contains all of the ideas I have been able to come up with or find on the internet for female-dominant, male-submissive scenes…

You’ll probably notice that a lot of the ideas are designed for use over many days and are associated with orgasm control. This theme emerged over time because orgasm control is so effective at heightening male desire. We use this list in a very simple framework when setting up scenes. First she picks one or more of the ideas below (either by hand or randomly) and makes rules and tasks out of them. Then, after a few days of suffering through them and pushing me to peak sensitivity, the frequency of rules and tasks increases (over a weekend, for example) and she adapts punishments from the list (or comes up with them on her own) to achieve a good, intense session.

So anyway, I hope you enjoy them and they inspire ideas of your own! Please note, though, that we haven’t tried all of them. Some of them may not be practical.

1) Hold Pennies Against the Wall

This task is very hard: have him hold pennies against the wall using only his fingertips — one penny per finger. Depending on how you position his arms, this can be easy or extremely difficult. Arms spread wide apart forces him to get his face very close to the wall and will tire his arms quickly. Same with his hands being very high up.

For every penny that drops, punish him. Keep the punishments severe enough that he really fears dropping a penny.

You can also make him hold a penny against the wall using his erect cock. This will force him to keep himself hard.

2) Controlled Orgasms

Rules that control his orgasms are the most effective and psychologically impactful rules you can impose. These rules also become good excuses for torment and punishment. The mix of wanting to orgasm and facing big punishments feels very exciting.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He has to earn orgasms –> After you have had five orgasms, he gets one. –> He chooses to undergo a punishment or humiliation in order to flip a coin. Heads grants him an orgasm. Tails gets him another punishment or humiliation –> He earns points toward his next orgasm by acting the role of the “perfect slave.” These can only be earned by doing things for you without being asked, and acting the part perfectly. 20 points per orgasm.

He must ask permission prior to orgasm.

He is allowed to orgasm, but doing so carries an automatic set of punishments or humiliations.

Every time he orgasms, he owes you a favor.

You pretend to believe that he will take any opportunity to have an orgasm, and go to great lengths to prevent it (chastity belt, lots of restraints, careful supervision).

After every orgasm, he must collect his semen and do something embarrassing with it.

Come up with a “training regimen” to teach him to resist orgasm. He wears a chastity belt until he can resist your best efforts to get him to come while you reach two or three orgasms.

He is forbidden to clean up his own semen if it lands on him.

He gets a very short window every day to bring himself to orgasm while you watch. The chastity belt goes back on at the end whether he succeeds or not.

He gets a set limit of orgasms per week, which he can trade like currency. (His limit could be one. Or one every two weeks. Just because he can trade doesn’t mean he needs a lot of them.)

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Instead of a promised orgasm, he has to edge instead and thank you at the end as if he had an orgasm.

Lengthen the time he has to wear the chastity belt.

Treat pre-cum as orgasms for punishment purposes.

Warn him about a severe punishment if he orgasms, then tie him down and ride him until he does.

During the time when he is permitted to orgasm, position his body so that he can’t prevent himself from coming on himself.–>Make him put his knees on the wall behind him so that his cock points toward his face

If you are on top and he comes, keep going. The sensory overload is really overpowering. Even though it feels great, it’s a good “mean” thing to do to him.

Punishment Ideas

Remember that if your slave just had an orgasm without permission, he’s less in the mood than he was before. So instead of a regular punishment, pick one that is more severe, and execute it after he’s back in the mood (possibly the next day).

Make him write out a coupon for a certain number of days spent in a chastity belt. Spend it whenever you like. If he picks a number that is lower than what you picked, make him choose again and double his next result. (You can choose to have him give you a number of orgasms instead of a number of days.)

If he comes inside of you, sit on his chest while his semen drains out of you. Tie him up until it dries.

Chain a heavy weight to his chastity belt for a while, giving him something he either has to drag by his balls or deal with as he does other tasks for you.

3) Edging

Edging is the practice of bringing someone very close to the point of orgasm and then baking off. It’s usually done repeatedly, which both increases sexual need and results in the closest thing to multiple orgasms for a man. You can force your Slave to edge himself a few times to increase his sexual need. Or, you can do it to him and punish him if he orgasms. This will force him to resist orgasm.

4) Must Volunteer Information

This is similar to the “Must Not Lie” rule, but forces him to give you extra details whenever he’s answering a question. It can be very useful, because he has to actively think about what other secrets he can divulge. Use it to force him to keep you aware of the things he’s thinking about.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He must tell you when he’s horny

He must go into detail about what he wants sexually and why

Whenever he’s asked a question, he has to answer it, and then say “Also…” and add more details.

He must try to help you come up with more effective punishments, more humiliating tasks, and tell you how he might try to get out of obeying you

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Since you can’t read his mind, there’s no way to know if he’s holding something back. Rely on punishments if you find out that he didn’t tell you something.

Punishment Ideas

This is a rule that focuses on helplessness and humiliation. It’s also oral, since he has to tell you things. If you catch him leaving something out, punish him accordingly.

Make him write out several punishments and rank them according to desirability. Pick one or more for him to go through.

Make him tell you the most humiliating punishment he can think of. If he disobeys again, he has to go through with it.

Take away his right to speak for a while. Use a ball gag or tape if necessary.

Tell him to apologize. Don’t accept his apology until he recommends a good physical punishment or humiliation for you to employ.

5) Must Keep Legs Spread

Here is a very simple rule that is designed to keep things awkward for him and emphasize that his cock and balls belong to you. Usually the rule is that his legs can’t touch his cock or balls while you are in the room. Tell him that you want to see his balls hanging down.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He must keep his legs spread whenever you are within reach of his genitals

He must spread his legs on command

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He must keep his legs spread at all times, just in case.

Tie his legs up by the knees and spread them out. Then tease him by doing things to him that would make him want to close his legs

Punishment Ideas

Breaking this rule is all about not giving you access to his cock and balls, or about him not putting them on display for you. Punish him accordingly.

Tie his ankles to his wrists. Then tie his elbows to his knees. Last, pull his cock and balls behind his legs and tie his legs together so that they are trapped down by his butt. Now he gets to keep his legs closed, but you have full access to the genitals. Torture them for a while until he becomes more compliant.

Since he won’t put his genitals on display on his own, take away all his clothes and tie him up in a full-body rope harness. That way he can stay on display for you until you get tired of him.

6) Must Obey

Make it unconditional that he has to obey you, or anyone you specify, and punish him if he doesn’t do it promptly or well. This is one of those rules that you’ll talk about a lot, bringing it up to him to remind him that he doesn’t have a choice (or that you’ll punish him severely) if he doesn’t obey.

Ideas for Normal Situations

Have him acknowledge every command with “yes ma’am,” “yes, mistress,” or similar.

Give him a time limit to obey. For example, he might get punished for not jumping to do what you say within three seconds.

If he’s being forced to obey someone else, have him ask that person to give you an evaluation of how well he did.

Test him by giving him a list of things to do while you are away. Demand proof that he did them.

Come up with a word you can use to tell him that you are giving him an order while he’s in public so that others aren’t aware that you’re giving him a command to obey.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Dramatically increase the number of things he has to do so that he’s kept very busy

Use toys, locks, and complicated tasks to make obeying very hard, such as –> Blindfolding him, then telling him to get a specific item that can only be identified by sight –> Chaining up his hands and then giving him something to type (with his tongue?) –> Give him an enema, and tell him he can’t release it until a task is done.

Give him tedious tasks, like writing out a sentence fifty times.

Punishment Ideas

Failure to obey you should carry the harshest punishments. The point of this game is to use punishments to force him to obey you. Therefore, the punishments have to be intense enough that doing humiliating and painful tasks is less miserable than going through with the punishments. Generally, you want to pick very painful or very humiliating punishments for this kind of error. Try to get him to call out in pain several times. He’s got a safe-word if you go too far.

Chain him up so he is completely immobile, then leave him like that for a while, maybe periodically torturing him.

Take away a sense or a privilege for a long time, such as use of his hands for 24 hours.

Add a couple extra rules to his list of rules

Make him pick a few punishments he would rather not be forced to undergo and then draw one randomly

Add a few days of slavery to his sentence

7) Must Become Hard

With this rule, the slave must force himself to become hard. This usually carries a time-limit, or is just a way for you to keep his hands on his cock, constantly fumbling with it. This has more to do with him having to make himself hard with you watching than it does with him getting hard. He is putting himself on display. Keep that in mind and see if you can think of ways to change things up.

Consider making him exaggerate the process so that it’s extra disruptive. Some ideas are to have him stretch out his cock, or use both hands, or kneel until it’s done.

This rule can be fun if he can’t use his hands to make himself hard. He’ll be left humping you or the furniture to comply.

Ideas for Normal Situations

When Mistress enters the room, slave has a certain amount of time to make himself hard.

On a schedule, such as once every three hours, slave has to make himself hard and present his cock for your inspection. If it’s not hard enough, or if it offends you in any way, he can be punished.

When seeing something arbitrary, such as a high heel, he has to become hard –> You might say, “You like skirts so much? Well, you’re going to show it!” And have him make himself hard every time he sees one on TV.

Upon hearing an arbitrary word, such as “songbird,” he has to make himself hard.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Instead of just making himself hard once, he has to become hard, become soft, and become hard again –> Add a time-limit to complete this task to make it harder.

Make it more uncomfortable for him by keeping him from freeing his cock from his clothes or adjusting it while it’s getting hard.

Forbid him to use his hands to make himself hard or simply tie his hands out of reach of his cock. This will make it much tougher, but still possible.

Make him stay hard for five minutes before he can let go of his cock or stop stimulating it.

Punishment Ideas

If he fails to become hard for you in time (or if he forgets), change the rule so that he isn’t allowed to become hard for a day. See if you can catch him breaking that rule and slap a chastity belt on him.

The next time he has to be hard on command, put him in a lot of pain by slapping at his balls with a ruler or squeezing them (or similar) while he is trying to get hard.

Make him get hard without physical contact on his cock of any kind. (This might be very difficult.) Tie him up to be sure that he can’t move, of course.

8) Must Use Specific Names

This is a rule in every slave contract: that he must refer to you by a name of your choice. You can extend this to involve other women or other people. Common examples are:

Ma’am

Mistress

My Lady

Goddess

Madam

Ideas for Normal Situations

He isn’t allowed to use your name.

He has to answer “yes, <special name>” whenever you give a command

Must call other men and women “sir” or “ma’am,” even if he knows their names.

Must be sure to state your special name before asking any question

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Once again, this rule is so common that it’s almost always in a contract. I can’t think of tougher ways to implement it.

Punishment Ideas

This rule is a vocal one, so punishments can involve the mouth or speech. But don’t let that stop you from popping him in the testicles for forgetting to say your name before a question. Just be sure to catch him every time.

Make him wear a ball gag for thirty minutes every time he forgets

Tape his mouth shut when he forgets

Make him eat or drink something (like alcohol?) every time he messes up.

Place a clothes pin on his tongue for a while

Make him hold something with his mouth

9) Must Kiss

Slave must kiss some part of Mistress under some conditions. Type of kiss, duration, and number of kisses are up to you. You could, for example, make him practice kissing until he gets it exactly right.

Body Parts to Kiss

Vagina

Ass

Feet

Hand

Mouth

Ideas for Normal Situations

You can assign different body parts to kiss under different situations. If he forgets or gets one wrong, he gets punished. For example –> He must kiss a chosen body part when you enter the room –> He must kiss your clitoris after you orgasm –> When Waking –> Before Bed –> While showering, he must constantly kiss your vagina –> When seeing something arbitrary, such as a high heel –> Upon hearing an arbitrary word, such as “songbird.”

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He must practice kissing the chosen body part. The more disobedient he has been, the longer he has to practice.

Instead of a simple kiss, you can make a complicated series of kisses that he has to get right every time.

You can put a blindfold on him before he kisses. If he misses the spot, he gets punished.

Punishment Ideas

Kissing is an oral act, so you might want punishments to involve the mouth. Here are some ideas.

Leave him in a ball gag for a period of time for every mistake he makes with this rule.

Force him to wear bright red lipstick and gloss (make his lips kissable) to remind him what his duty is.

Take away the use of his hands (using ropes or chains) and let him use his mouth as hands for a while. When he has had enough, give him a test to see if he has learned his lesson.

10) Must Wear Collar and/or Cuffs

You require your slave to wear a collar, wrist cuffs, or ankle cuffs, or any combination both as a symbol that you own him and so that you can quickly restrain him at any time.

Since the collar and cuffs can’t be ignored, it will force him to remember the situation he’s in. You might want to avoid making him wear a collar while he sleeps, but that is the only one you need to be careful about. Cuffs while sleeping are just fine.

Ideas for Normal Situations

When he gets up or gets home from work, he must lock a collar and cuffs on himself. Only you can unlock them.

He has to lock chains that hang freely from his collar and/or cuffs.

He has to sleep with wrist and/or leg cuffs on.

He has to lock himself to the bed when he goes to sleep.

He has to lock something embarrassing to his collar.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Not only does he have to lock cuffs on himself when he gets home, he has to lock his wrists together and his ankles together. You unlock him when you get home or by telling him where the key is by phone.

He must lock something very heavy to his ankle cuff. Like a locked bag of bricks, or a suitcase full of heavy items.

Make him lock himself to the toilet or to some other immovable object by running a chain behind it.

Punishment Ideas

Usually, the punishment comes from him unlocking the cuffs ahead of schedule. Sometimes this is necessary for safety or for other reasons (like a friend comes by), but you can still punish him for it. Simple restraint is perfect for that.

Run a rope or chain over a beam in the roof and raise his wrists as high as possible, maybe even making him stand on his toes. Tie it off so that he has to stand like that. Torture as desired. He won’t be able to stop you.

Before he goes to bed, make him wear short chains that either link his wrists, his ankles, or link a wrist to an ankle. You can also lock his wrists to a bondage belt.

Tie him in the frogtie and the chicken-wing tie at the same time. Torture him, make him walk on his knees and elbows, or just leave him stuck on the ground for a while.

Tie him spread-eagled on the bed. Use your imagination after that.

11) Flexibility, Strength, and Weight

I’ve combined three rules into one here. You can force him to reach (or maintain) a specific weight, achieve a certain degree of flexibility, or force him to gain strength. All of these require a test after a long period of time to see if he meets the goal. Failure needs to have a significant-enough punishment that it will push him to exercise and stretch for so many days to try to reach the goal.

It also gives you a convenient way to punish him in a way that will hurt for a long time. You can force him to do 100 situps, for example, and his ab muscles will ache for days. However, this can interfere with other games where you are pushing his body to its limits.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He has to lose a certain number of pounds by a certain date.

He has to become flexible enough to perform yoga moves of your choosing

He must become strong enough to hold something heavy for a period of time

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Force him to exercise in a tedious and very challenging way, such as crawling to every room in the house fifty times.

Force him to exercise until he is too exhausted to stop you from overpowering him

Punishment Ideas

These rules require him to exercise so often and for so long that you need to have punishments that will motivate him to work through the pain and boringness of exercise over a period of weeks. Pick punishments that make him pale, or that are worse than the exercise itself.

Add a period of slavery for every pound he fails to lose by the deadline, maybe a week per pound.

Put together a list of extreme hard labor that he must do if he fails to make his goal. Make him do the work naked, in chains, or while wearing uncomfortable toys like a large butt-plug.

12) May Not Flinch

Slave is punished for flinching. Pulling away counts as resistance, just like saying “no.” You have free reign over the slave’s body. You can even make him act like he is happy when you touch him. But he can never show you the disrespect of moving away when you want to touch him.

Ideas for Normal Situations

Once he realizes what you’re reaching for, he must try hard to put that body part in your easy reach, either by moving closer, removing clothes, or assuming an agreed-upon position (like putting his hands behind his head).

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Add a line in your notes or itinerary to try to get him to flinch a certain number of times each day. Once he passes the test, this rule can be dropped. But be convincing!

Tie his hands behind his back, and tie those ropes around his balls. Then try to get him to flinch. If he moves, he will yank on his balls. Train him to hold very still by trying to get him to flinch.

Add extra physical punishments or humiliation if you catch him flinching. (Two punishments instead of one, etc.)

Punishment Ideas

Tie his hands and legs very securely so that he can’t flinch. Then give him several reasons to flinch while he’s unable to. That way, he can tell the difference between when it is appropriate to flinch and when it isn’t.

Tie or wrap his hands (which are primarily used to protect body parts) in very awkward orientations so that they are not only useless, but uncomfortable or awkward. For example, tape his thumbs together and secure them to the back of his collar with a short rope.

13) May not Say a certain word

This is both a teasing rule and a very serious one. Consider these two situations:

He is not allowed to say “no” to anyone.

He is not allowed to say the word “is.”

In the first example, you make it clear that he’s expected to do whatever anyone asks. This is a straight-forward and common rule.

In the second example, you pick a common word and wait for him to forget the rule, giving you frequent opportunities to punish him.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He may not use the word “no.”

He may not use personal pronouns (me, my, our) and instead has to substitute “the slave” for them.

He may not speak unless addressed by someone (asked a question, etc.)

You force him to use an embarrassing word for his cock.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He has a limit of words (or sentences) that he can say, after which he must be absolutely silent. (If you have a hard time keeping track, just count the number of times he starts talking.

He may only speak while wearing a gag or with something held in his mouth.

Punishment Ideas

This is simple: if he speaks out of turn, focus on oral punishments. Bad tastes, gags, extremely hot foods, and so on.

Gag him for a while, possibly sacrificing a meal.

Make him hold something in his mouth. (Your freshly-worn panties, a jalapeno, or a piece of soap.

Make him conduct a complicated task with his mouth (such as sorting the sex toys, sorting your panties by color, and so on.

Thanks to Mistress Kylie, Her slave & femaledomination

People ask me for info about rope bondage and Shibari, here are a few basic starters…

Mistress Valiant 💋💋

People ask me for info about rope bondage and Shibari, here are a few basic starters…

Mistress Valiant 💋💋

If you’re afraid to do it, then this should help you out.

If you do it but have no idea what you’re doing, then this should help you out.

If you don’t do it, you’re really missing out.

If you refuse to do it, you’re a fucking pussy yourself. 

The benefits problems with chastity

If you are into male submission, it isn’t hard to find lists upon lists of the benefits of male chastity. As someone who loves the game of chastity there are some very serious side effects of chastity that some men experience that they don’t tell you about on those lists. Instead of a fun and kinky game, it can get dark and bitter FAST. This happens when chastity is done wrong.

I am here to help. What I say won’t apply to every situation or person. But if you as a keyholder (or someone with a keyholder) isn’t having fun with chastity then this might help you.

But first some highlights of these list of which I speak. Here are some common benefits I found when browsing through a dozen or so such lists (type Chastity Benefits or similar terms in your Tumblr search bar or your favorite search engine)

1. His desire for you will skyrocket 2. His libido doesn’t crash 3. Male masturbation is evil and this stops it 4. He’ll stay faithful to you 5. He’ll be more helpful around the house

etc, etc, etc

This is a sampling but you can easily find more. I will go through each of these examples and explain why I think they are flawed, and how to make it better. But before that I am going to let you in on the basis of every problem with chastity right now. 

IGNORING HIM RUINS EVERYTHING

Yep. If you want chastity to work it means a lot more sex. A LOT more. But it isn’t the traditional type of sex. It is talking and tasks and receptive sex on his part. If as the keyholder (mental or physical keyholder, it makes no difference) chastity is some kind of sexual oubliette where you throw your partner and forget about them then you are begging for problems and pain. The benefits of chastity only happen when you replace what you have taken away from him, with something more enticing than orgasms. And remember, that for most guys, we are biologically wired to do almost anything to cum! Mother nature dedicates whole parts of the brain to sex and desire (for most all people) so you are working with some strong bio-magic. Be aware of what you are getting into. It has the power to raise sexual skyscrapers you didn’t know were possible but it can also ruin and destroy people and relationships. You know the phrase…. “With great power there must also come –  great responsibility”. 

So on to how we make those benefits a reality.

5. This won’t happen with chastity. Period. If you lock up his dick and then expect him to just start doing more house work you are a fool. Taking away a joy in life isn’t going to make someone more helpful. And it is just an abuse of the kinky relationship. Kink is about fun, house work is about necessity; it is everyone’s work. If you don’t think your boy is pulling his share, or would like them to do more, then JUST SAY SOMETHING. It is that simple. You don’t bring kink into. If he doesn’t help when asked, a few grams of steel, or a mental command, isn’t going to change that. And if you don’t feel like asking every time, have a conversation where you explain your needs and wants and then work it out between you. Don’t expect kink to magically fix things if you can’t talk. The same holds true for getting flowers, cards, romantic dinners, etc. OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

Now, how to do it right.

If you are in a D/s relationship, which playing with chastity automatically makes it a D/s game, make it part of the fun. Be explicit about what you expect and why. And tell him often…. more than that…. even more than that… Yes, daily, hourly. You get the idea. And then give him reasons to do more chores that relate to chastity. Trade time out or release for the floor waxed. Or Don’t remember the dishes and it is a ruined orgasm for you. Or You gave up your manhood so now you do a woman’s job. Play with the power he has given you and tailor it to the way the two of you play. Examples?

Your boy into sissification? Great. That little thing has no place being out in the world were it could be mistaken for a man’s cock. Lock that shit up and go get your gurly ass dressed and in the kitchen where gurls belong. (Because dishes are more fun panties and heels.)

Your man’s a pain slut? Sit in a chair behind him with a single tail and give him a lick every sixty seconds until the dishes are done. If he drops one or doesn’t do it to your satisfaction, he starts all over again… with the strokes every thirty seconds. 

Is he a service sub? When you get home, inspect every dish and point out how disappointed your with every mistake you find. Let him feel bad for failing you.

etc, etc, etc.

You get the idea. Whatever your style looks like, use it. But for the sake of all that is kinky, play with it! Don’t ignore it. Don’t make them wait in silence for a someday. Follow through on what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to do it. And if that is more than 48 hours away, your are doing it wrong (more on that in a bit). An inconsistent or forgetful dom is a bad dom. And bad doms make very bad subs.

Oh, and for those that have missed the earlier point on equality but immediately took the role-playing comment (woman’s work) as sexist … go away and quit messing up the fun for everyone else who gets it. Sexism is sexy (for most). That statement means, as an example, that we know that corsets where torturous devices that women were forced to wear at one time. Women died from wearing them! But today we love them because WE DON’T FORCE WOMEN TO WEAR THEM ANY MORE. We have taken the torturous and made it fun. We do that with physical pain. Ever spanked a … SLAVE? We do the same thing with emotionally painful topics. In fact, it is by playing with these outdated ideas, turning them on their heads, and making fun of them that we remove the power they once had to hurt. As I said above, house work is everyone’s work. Kink means that putting a cage on a man and making him do ‘women’s work’ is just fun because it is role-playing, not a forced reality. 

4. If you believe that a small bit of metal and a lock that can be popped off with a screwdriver or small cutters is the only thing keeping a cheating man faithful to you then you are not just a fool, you are an idiot. Sorry to be harsh, but think about it. There are men who will throw away safety, power, wealth and even the lives of themselves and others just to fulfill one of our strong biological urges. If your man isn’t strong enough, or loves you enough, or respects you enough, or isn’t civilized enough to not fuck someone else without the consent and discussion of all parties involved then I promise you that your little cage isn’t going stop him. He is a jerk to start with, don’t play with him. Period.

Now, how to do it right.

Use your words. Make a role-playing game out of it. Talk to him, often (see above) about how you love the power over his orgasms he’s given up, or how you can play with others but as sub he can’t, or how as a sub he hasn’t earned the right to play a top role, or how he’s the bottom bitch now, etc. You know your man and what buttons to push to make him excited. Use it. And use it often. If he isn’t getting to play with his dick then you need to play with his head. And far more often than he ever played with his dick. Whatever you do, help him remember why he made a vow to you and why you are worth the chastity.

3. This is some amazingly anti sex thinking going on there. Listen to sex advice shows or read non-sex positive help books for couples and you will hear the lamination of the women (not being sexist, being Conan) over how awful his masturbation is. He does it many times a day and he doesn’t want to play with me and its like he’s cheating and… and… and… BULLSHIT. Masturbation is something most every higher animal does and most every person does unless there has been trauma. Emotional, physical, cultural or religious trauma but it takes some kind of trauma to make someone give up the benefits of masturbation. Male masturbation is not evil. 

Now I will admit that like any activity, it can be over done or become all consuming. But that is a discussion of addiction and not one of kink. There is a difference. And if you can’t see the difference you need some education on what addiction is.

And I will also admit that there are those that chose masturbation over their partners but this is because of … trauma! If your bed has become so painful to be in, difficult to obtain, tricky to navigate, or he feels to shamed to join you, or random to the point of no longer being a realistic option then yeah, he might rub one out… often. But that isn’t because he prefers it. It is because it is ‘that’ or the relationship ends (going separate ways or it loses what it once was). He has needs that occur at a duration or time that you cannot or will not meet. And he has found a way to meet them that saves your relationship. This isn’t true in every case but it is in more cases than people want to admit. :-(

How to fix this?

Welcome to the reoccurring theme of a fun, positive and kinky replacement. You are locking him up and taking away the right of orgasm. And like anytime someone locks up a natural animal you become responsible for their care and maintenance. You get to control when, AND HOW, he releases. It could be never. In that case, you have to find a suitable replacement that is applied at least as often as what you are taking away (i.e. masturbation… which can be multiple times a day for some guys). This replacement could be submissive acts, kinky words, edging, etc. And then the occasional ruin or miliking or prostate release. Whatever you do, make it fun (even in an evil way) and make it very frequent. And if it doesn’t result in frequent releases (kinky talk, submissive tasks, etc) then it has to be as frequent as his normal masturbation schedule (if not more so).

2. Nope.

This might happen in the first few days as he gets horny as hell. But if you keep ignoring it, keep his sex drive in that sexual oubliette, you know what happens to that powerful, biologically fueled, drive? It changes to something much darker. It could be anger, depression, sadness, rejection, violence, etc. Whatever your man’s dark nature is, being forgotten and ignored will bring it out and bring it out amplified. When you forget him, the best you can hope for is to crush his spirit to the point where he doesn’t care anymore. In any case, you will kill the spark that made you love him in the first place. That darkness will cause the game to come to an end in a miserable failure and might put in place lasting emotional trauma that you can’t fix.

How do you do it right?

DO NOT IGNORE HIM. Don’t forget him. Absence DOES NOT MAKE THE HEART GROW FONDER. Constant teasing and torture and playing and edging and whatever other fun kinky things you do will. If it is done often it WILL make his libido skyrocket and bring out the fun, kinky side of him. He may get super submissive. He may beg. Plead. Claim he’s dying. :-) But he won’t be mad, depressed, violent or feel forgotten. He will feel loved, owned and played with.

1. You know what? This is the same as the last one. Go re-read that again.

In the end, chastity is an awesome game so long as the keyholder (as always, physical or mental) doesn’t take a fire and forget approach, or the ‘absence will make the heart grow fonder so if I forget to play with him one day, two days, a week, two weeks, he’ll really be ready to play when I do finally grace him with the merest crumb of play time’ approach. If you do that, it will backfire spectacularly. 

Chastity can do all those wonderful things the Tumblr blogs say it can. It can make your man feel, and be, much more submissive. He can find a renewed spark in you. He can feel loved, cared for and not shamed for want to play with the person he loved. So long as you don’t ignore your dominant role and don’t forget to play more often than the activity your are replacing (his desire to orgasm) then it will work.

If you want to read some full articles, here are places to start from.

http://flrreding.tumblr.com/post/155699679122/the-following-is-an-insightful-piece-written-by 

https://plasticchastitydevices.tumblr.com/post/170104656799/to-10-benefits-of-male-chastity

People ask me for info about rope bondage and Shibari, here are a few basic starters…

Mistress Valiant 💋💋

5 easy steps for being more submissive in a relationship:

1. Let him provide and protect.

It is in a man’s nature to come to a woman’s rescue when they are in need. Don’t feel bad about being weak or in need of his protection, just accept it and thank him for it.

2. Always look beautiful for him.

Men admire beauty! If you want your man to appreciate, love and admire you, you must look your best. Wear form-fitting clothes, keep yourself in shape and take care of your skin!

3. Listen, but don’t answer.

Sometimes, when he’s upset or stressed about something, the most operative solution is to just listen. You will often internally disagree with him, but the last thing he needs is to hear it. If he’s frustrated about a thing from work, he needs to vent, to be understood. He doesn’t need to end up in another debate.

4. Attend to his wishes.

Sure, you may have a thousand other chores to do, and it can be a bit stressful if he asks you to do additional things. Maybe bake his favorite cake, or clean the bathroom. Just calmly say «Alright honey, I’ll get it done.» Even if you aren’t able to do it right away, he’ll appreciate your efforts.

5. Know when to ask him something/deliver bad news.

After being together for some amount of time, you’ll get to recognize when he’s in a bad mood, not up for getting asked favors, or hearing bad news. Do it when he’s relaxed, and in a good mood.