Wishing All Of You A Very Merry "I Suddenly Have The Motivation And Time To Write A Minimum 10k Fic"...

spent a lot of time on tumblr as a teenage boy and due to my interests/ general culture of the site back 8 or so years ago, I would see a lot of radfem stuff and kinda just took it all on board uncritically ? I feel like it might’ve destroyed my self image + ability to socialise because I have this feeling like I am inherently evil no matter what. whenever I talk to women I can’t get out of my head that they are afraid of me/ think I am predatory. every interaction I am hyper focusing on my behaviour to make sure I am coming across as non-threatening. to the point where this is all I am concentrating on in any given interaction. this is just in normal social contexts btw, idek how to navigate a close friendship or anything romantic/sexual.

idk how to explain it apart from I feel like I’m evil and I need to ‘protect’ everybody from myself. so I try so hard to be easygoing and stay out of others’ way. and if somehow a person is interested in me, I think ‘this is what evil people do. they trick others into liking them’ and I will back away from the person as a way to ‘save them’.

I honestly wish I was a cis woman sometimes because I know that I would never have to worry about coming across as predatory/threatening.

it stresses me out so bad and there is no one irl I can talk to about this cos I don’t know how to properly explain it without sounding insane.

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If you enjoy female-fronted Rock and Metal...

I was having a conversation with some of my friends about women in alt music and realized many of them weren't exposed to the wealth of women's contributions to these genres, so I made these. In no way are these playlists comprehensive and they will continually be added to, but they are what I generally listen to and orbit around by subgenre. Recommendations are welcome if there's something you'd think I like and could be added! As of right now, there are four categories.

Punk, Alt, and Indie Rock covers the bases of the named categories without stepping into metal. Expect unpolished vocals, upbeat tempos, personal and political lyrics, and experimental sounds. Some of the artists on this playlist are...

The Gits, The Distillers, Hole, Joan Jett, Courtney Barnett, Screaming Females, Sleater-Kinney, and others.

Alternative, Progressive, and Symphonic brings us into the metal category. Expect more focus on singing over screaming, aspects of other genres, instrumental focus, with romantic and gothic overtones. On here...

Oceans of Slumber, Within Temptation, Evanescence, Reliqa, In This Moment, Lacuna Coil, Nightwish, and others.

Hardcore and Metalcore is full-throttle metal. Expect very heavy vocals, unrelenting drums and guitar, enraged and violent lyrics, and breakdowns. You'll see...

Otep, Once Human, Jinjer, Butcher Babies, Dying Wish, Sharptooth, Spiritbox, The Agonist, Infected Rain, and others.

Black metal, Doom, and Dark Atmospheric is simultaneously heavy and ethereal. Expect a musical storm and dirge-like intonations and wails, broken up by moments of calm beauty and trance-inducing atmosphere. I felt dark atmospheric deserved to be here due to how metal-adjacent and well blending it is. Some of the artists here are...

Myrkur, Asagraum, Sylvaine, King Woman, Frayle, Darkher, Chelsea Wolfe, Black Table, and others.

All musicians on these playlists are female-fronted and sometimes entirely female/single artist acts. Rock on freaky women🤘😎

fuck it I made these when I was bored

I could help with putting it all together at the end, edit and organize the scenes!

Hello TMA fandom I’m considering starting a fandom project of animating an episode of TMA together and was wondering if people would be interested in this idea please vote down below and repost this so I know if it would be worth organising or not (:

Having a gender non conforming (GNC) character who is a masculine woman or feminine man, will always be far more valuable and important than having a GNC character that is “nonbinary”. It shows viewers that there are many ways to be a woman or man, not that stepping outside of traditional gender roles renders you not actually a woman or man at all. It fights against gender roles, instead of just creating new ones.

You will never see me assuming that a GNC woman isn’t a woman, or that a GNC man isn’t a man, because that assumption is sexist and regressive, as it implies that there is only a certain degree that a woman can be GNC before she’s no longer a woman, and that there is only a certain degree that a man can be GNC before he’s no longer a man. It’s a strict enforcing of gender roles, and that doesn’t change just because you slap they/them pronouns on it.

I’ve been trying this out and it’s been quite helpful 🤗

eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.

i cant go to sleep until i release the thoughts so here they are. im sorry if this is a bit more nonsensical or rambleish than my other ones, im very very tired but anyway

this is going to be a bit upsetting for the lovey-dovey sunshine and rainbows crowd but people give red guy and duck WAYY too much credit when it comes to their relationship (or at least how it used to be) like they DID NOT //start out// functional AT. ALL. they used to go together like a car and a tree. and honestly this makes them even more interesting

They’re both insecure in different areas, and they react differently to these insecurities as well. from what ive gathered, red guy dislikes how “odd” he is. he tries to act bitter and uncaring about everything and everyone, either to fit in with the other red things, or to keep himself distracted or distanced from the world hes stuck in. he distances himself from his friends as well. this is a horrible contrast with ducks outward and open love of his friends (despite how horribly he treats them lmao but i digress) duck reveals in the family episode that despite loving himself, he wants other people to love him too. duck is not necessarily insecure in himself, hes the best one after all, but he does feel very lonely. he feels like nobody loves him as much as he loves himself, like the only person he truly has is himself because nobody else is willing to love him. this obviously makes him feel very alone. this is why red guys denial and dismissal of his friends hits ducks insecurities harshly and directly, even if its not intentional.

once i got to the fridge scene during my first watchthrough i was very confused. firstly because i was utterly flabbergasted that they were gay for some reason (i had never even considered it), and secondly because ducks reply caught me off guard. duck is a very full-of-himself character. so why would he be surprised to find out someone likes looking at him? shouldnt he reply with something like “well yeah duh you big stupid idiot im the prettiest and the best etc etc”?? well i understand now why duck reacted that way. he doesnt get many compliments from anyone but himself, probably talking in the mirror. and he ESPECIALLY hadnt gotten many compliments from red guy at this point. red guy denied being his friend very adamantly. EVEN AT HIS FUNERAL. HIS FUNERAL!!! and yes red guy does realize he misses duck eventually, but duck isnt even there to see it, and when he comes back he finds himself literally replaced?? (like.. red guy ur fumbling so hard right now. fumbling straight into a divorce. and ur not even married yet man. but anyway, back on topic)

slowly throughout the series red guy starts being more open, and whether he realizes it or not his whole uncaring act isnt that good to begin with. my favorite small detail during the funeral is that red guy calls the plates “our plates” without even realizing it, right in the middle of denying his best-friendship with duck. like dude who do you think youre fooling other than yourself!?

with all of this considered, despite red guys poor performance of denial, it’s perfectly understandable for duck to be surprised when red guy openly confesses his honest emotions. an up-front confession of feelings is not something red guy ever wants or allows himself to do, so duck was probably confused as hell.

my favorite part of this scene is how red guy is looking away when he says it, still clearly embarrassed but saying it anyway. this is a HUGE deal for his character. it was a character development that had been slowly growing throughout the tv series, and by episode six i think it was as close to completion as its ever been. he does pull the whole “its fine just ignore it” thing with duck earlier in the episode, but he does it more to calm him down in this context. the fridge scene confirms to me that red guy has almost stopped running, not necessarily from the house, but from his friends. he has finally let himself love them. hes finally let himself admit not just to himself, but to duck, that hes important to him.

this is why i think theyre so interesting, because these two characters are cynical assholes. that’s how becky and joe have described them at times. these characters are not the best of people, theyre both messed up people in a messed up and confusing world, so of course they wont be perfect. but thats the beauty of it. they dont want to hurt eachother, so they try their best to change. they try their best to fight against the cruelty of their minds and surroundings and let themselves love eachother even if only for a second, even if in the end it wont really matter

ok im going to sleep now goodnight