I Got Tired Of Hearing The Music From The Story In The Background Of Edits When This Voice Line Was Used

{No one wished Christopher a “Merry Christmas” yesterday (yes, I’ve started expecting holiday wishes at this point), and all I could picture in my mind was this:}

your average mafuyu but i gave her a fish.

I know people are just joking when they say stuff like “Mithrun is an old grandpa he doesn’t know he can’t say those words anymore he doesn’t know they don’t have any book tokens anymore” because of these extras below:

and whatever but like it honestly drives me kind of crazy. Like can we look at this for a second.

He was the lord of the dungeon for five years. Then he was being rehabilitated for TWENTY YEARS. That’s not super long for elves, that’s like four years for us, but that’s still a long time. And then he was the captain for another fourteen years, but he didn’t have any desire other than getting revenge on the demon.

Mithrun hasn’t really been properly socialized for a total of FORTY YEARS, which is like eight years for elves. He was totally shut off from the world, then he was rehabilitated, and then he was with the Canaries on a onetrack mindset to go after the demon. Mithrun was doing bad, he was recovering, and then he was better enough to be the captain of the Canaries again, but he was still not “better.” In all that time, the world didn’t wait for him when he was at his low point. It didn’t wait for him when he was spending all that time recovering. And by the time it’s near the end of the story where these comics take place he’s just been so far detached from the world. Like he’s most likely never tried to go buy a book token after becoming a dungeon lord. He’s most likely never talked to people and learned the new slang of the time, he’s never been caught up which words are good versus outdated. Mithrun is technically better enough to be captain, he’s better enough to have reintegrated into society, but he’s not quite adjusted yet. He’s been out for so many years suffering under the hands of the demon and scraping his way through recovery and trying to work to get to the demon that by the time he’s stopped and done stuff like gift exchanges or whatever many aspects of the world are vastly different from what he remembers. I think that’s a lot like a lot of people in real life too who have similar experiences. People in mental health centers or hospitals who spends even just months recovering can miss out on so much.

Does this make any sense? It’s kind of late so I don’t really know what I’m saying and I’m probably repeating myself but like Mithrun was at a low point and then he was recovering for so long!!!! And then when he’s reintegrated back into the world it’s changed without him!!!! He’s not some racist old man!!! The world just kept on turning when he was struggling and how is he even supposed to deal with that? Like he doesn’t have much desire but everybody is so upset with him for not knowing things like outdated terms or using cash because he didn’t know there were no more book tokens and he just can’t have known that because he literally wasn’t in a state to keep up with all of the stuff like that and now everything is different and maybe he doesn’t care because he has no desire to but like aghhhhhhhhhhhh sob sob sniffle oughhhhh 😭😭😭😭 Mithrun 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 imagine I’m shaking him back and forth that’s how I feel right now oughhhhh

General headcanons of mithrun and Kabru’s relations hip ? You can add some past!mithrun ones too 💗

Oooh sure!! Thank you for asking of course!!

- It would take them a couple of years to get together, Kabru realizes how he feels for Mithrun first but waits for the right time to say. Mithrun, however, after years of thinking “he’s a friend, a really really good friend who crosses my mind at least twice every hour, whose smile makes me feel warm, who i will die for” finally understands his affection for Kabru, blurts out his confession immediately.

- They would keep their relationship between closed friends, publicizing it means more trouble for the newly found kingdom and kabru’s prestige and position as the court counselor because people think elves are untrustworthy, they would be like “the advisor is banging an elf?! We’re doomed as a kingdom!” Lol. Kabru doesn’t really care because he loves that man to his grave, but mithrun is worried he will be the downfall of kabru’s career.

- They don’t argue a lot, but when they do Mithrun is usually the one to apologize first because it scares him to death whenever it crosses his mind that this trivial gripe they’re having might be taking up what little time Kabru has left with him due to the lifespan difference. They both desperately want to resolve the fight and get back to being lovey dovey as soon as possible lol.

- Mithrun’s parents know about his relationship, but they don’t care that much as long as he keeps it a secret and doesn’t disgrace his family’s name because in their eyes their son had died 40 years ago. He doesn’t see them a lot, once every 10 years or so, one time Kabru insisted on meeting his family if they are going to get serious, he begrudgingly agreed, a terrible idea as it ended with Mithrun teleporting his soup to spill it on his parent’s head and storming out holding Kabru’s hand after they made snarky comments about Kabru.

- Kabru likes to be the little spoon, Mithrun doesn’t mind this.

And here’s my headcanons for past Mithrun:

- Despite his arrogance, he was extremely self-conscious, always fretting over how people perceived him, how a strand of his hair was out of place. He spent a lot of time on the upkeep of his appearance like doing a 10 step skincare routine twice a day even though elves have naturally flawless skin.

- Most of his ex-lovers were people for whom his brother had feelings, he would specifically court them to “win” over his brother, trying to prove to himself that he is superior. These relationships didn’t last because his partners felt like his love for them only goes so far.

- Ever since he was a child he was made aware of his bastard identity, he was told that because of his silver hair and eyes he was lucky enough to be taken in and brought up as a lawful child. Because of this he hated (and loved) his eyes and hair, even though they were his ticket to life of luxury, he felt like he was reduced to less than a person, he was rather a replacement for their legitimate but flawed son. (Now that you think about it lol his situation was kinda the opposite of Kabru’s, who was literally almost killed by his father’s family for his eyes)

- Because of him being born from infidelity, he had to make up for it by surpassing his brother, in fact he spent a third of his life doing so only to be shipped away to the army in place for his brother. Just like that he was thrown away.

extension on my earlier Niigo confronting Mafuyu's mom post

why does this make me sad LOL

Mithrun And His Quest For Death

One of the integral parts of Mithrun's story arc is that his one true desire is not to seek revenge on the demon but that he.....

... desires to die. Specifically at the hands of the demon, who he felt didnt finish the job after he was the dungeon master

There is a lot of foreshadowing up to this reveal such as:

-Mithrun's lack of ability to care about anything. His hygiene, his physical appearance, whether he is hungry or tired. All of this is common in those struggling with suicidal ideation and chronic depression. As Dungeon Meshi often toes the line between comedic and horror , usually comedic upon first inspection, horrifying with hind sight , i think this is best seen here:

...Why would he lie? Except subconsciously he wants to die. Whether through inaction , literally wasting away, or the dungeon monsters getting him. His preference would be for the demon to finish him off, but his actions sometimes show that the goal itself is death, no matter what methodology.

-Mithrun is covered in self harm scars. We know that he acquired them after his time as the dungeon master because of this story extra:

- this is further supplemented by his fighting style in the dungeon. Every action shows he is clearly a knife fighter, and yet he is never seen with a knife. He always improvizes weapons or is handed weapons by his comrades during combat.

Some examples of this:

This is even played as a joke in one chapter where Mithrun reaches towards the ground for a weapon before ultimately teleporting Kabru as his improvized weapon instead :

- which brings us to his teleportation abilities, it is extremely reckless for someone with no sense of direction and one eye leading to a lack of depth perception to rely on teleporting himself as his main trump card in fights. It shows a lack of value he puts on his own well being or survival

Although funny enough, the only time we ever see this go wrong in dungeon meshi is this extra where someone else, not Mithrun, is hurt:

- the reader is led to believe that Mithrun's goal is to defeat the demon for the majority of the story but when he does face Marcille and the demon , his eye glows its original gray, signifiying his desire and he says:

Mithrun is not addressing Marcille, he is addressing himself and ultimately he realizes his true desire is death just as he is about to recieve it

So YOU have chosen death. I'VE failed. The one who chose death has always been Mithrun , aware or not.

Marcille as the demon's proxy kills him. It is his first death in the dungeon, in any dungeon . Once he is revived , he is a blank slate with no desires left from his old self pre dungeon master. We are able to see what has always been hinted at, and Kabru confirms later on: Mithrun is able to gain new desires as long as he chooses to live:

Mithrun must live and seek new desires, he already has by surviving his death wish and then choosing to try and defeat the demon.(as shown by his eye glowing gray once more) He is capable of new desires and will live and find new meaning

After all one of dungeon meshi's major themes is the cycle of death and life :

The main cast learns to accept death, Mithrun to accept life.

Its why having a passively suicidal character realize their behavior and make steps to seek not death, not just surviving , but choosing to live is so impactful.

Once he accepts that, he is able to move on, his final words in the main story show that resolve. When talking about Falin he says this:

At the end of his quest for death, Mithrun chooses to live. As the text declares : your new life begins here

light yagami hcs but theres actually a psychoanalysis for some of them

— light has social anxiety. HEAR ME OUT!!!! he wouldnt admit it to anyone (himself included). for him it doesn’t manifest in the way where he apologizes for everything, stutters over his words, etc. instead; he grew up not able to make friends easily because it was always hard to relate when he was already so much more mentally developed than everyone else, and his mom caught on to this, so being the kind mother she is, sachiko tries to make him feel better about it because she thought that it upset him. same w his father. so growing up he was constantly told that he was just more mature than his peers and ir wasnt his fault, which caused him to develop a superiority complex, “i don’t have friends because im better than everyone else, and they bore me.” was probably his thought process, similar to how tomoko (watamote) is w her social anxiety, he blames everyone else for his loneliness rather than thinking there’s something wrong with him. again, similarly to tomoko, he changes the way he is to seem more normal even if he doesnt care to surround himself w people. he overthinks every conversation he has even before he becomes kira and is constantly questioning if he seemed normal enough 😧

— light likes carrot cake. no reason for this one except i rly like carrot cake so he obviously has to be the biggest fan of carrot cake ever

— if the death note didnt exist, and light didnt become kira and neither did anyone else, he would’ve experienced gifted kid burnout for the first time in his life being absolutely bored out of his mind, and he would’ve become severely depressed, borderline suicidal because it seemed like nothing mattered anymore and slowly but surely, he wouldve stopped having the motivation to participate in school, stopped trying to seem normal for the ppl around him, stopped talking to anyone in general, and likely became a recluse or kill himself. i say this bc i think the only reason he never became like that is bc he became kira, giving him a ‘purpose’ in life (passing judgement)

— light has a short temper, due to constantly having to mask around people. he tried to take his moms advice on making a friend in like 4th grade and when he came home, he went straight to his room, locked the door, and screamed into his pillow for a good 30 minutes from pure exhaustion and exasperation. safe to say he stayed polite after that, but never tried to have a genuine conversation with anyone ever again. this fueled his superiority complex probably, enforcing the belief that he was smarter and just generally better than everyone else around him.

— if he ever met beyond, b would absolutely test his patience. im under the belief that if they were acquaintances for a while, light would’ve tried to strangle b at least once. it would not work, and b would find that hilarious, because light doesnt like getting his hands dirty, and the first and only time he tries, he fails miserably. bloodmoon truthers i love you

— he has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces /ref (personally i hc him w npd, aspd, avpd, & ocd)

— he got a cat when he moved out of his parents house and would absolutely go batshit (even more so) if anything ever happened to it. like a john wick situation. also the cats name is ai (愛), meaning love in japanese :3

— bloodmoon hc #2 , in the situation where instead of dying, b finds light on the staircase and saves him, fixing him up himself instead of going to a hospital for obvious reasons. also light would give up ownership of the book to b, but would have the book with him at all times to keep his memories. light hates him at first both because b is a murderer and bc he reminds light too much of L. over time they become sort of replacements for each other. light sees L in b, and b sees A in light (physical similarities for both)

— light despises apples. hes always pictured w them bc of ryuk, but thats exactly why he hates them. ryuk would have him buy every apple he sees, or just apple themed things and light would be sooo pissed and yell at ryuk for draining his wallet

— light has a phobia of needles. whenever he has to get a shot or something he’ll keep a tight-lipped smile but would be freaking the fuck out in his mind

ummm thats all for now methinks. yea ^_^ light is literally me so this is all very real trust

can you love your everything too, for me?

past!Mithrun wishing to be safe somewhere with no enemies that would harm him, and current!Mithrun doing risky things bc his sense of self-preservation is lost, is making me feel a certain way